chapter thirty, the beginning of the end

"KAZ IS RIGHT," Jesper admitted, his head hanging low as his sister was washing a bloody cloth in the tub.

      Lavender wrung out the cloth, her hands aching from the pressure. "He's not. He understands that you all are valuable to him, but he will never admit it."

      "Not about that," Jesper winced, looking at the mirror, and noticing the swelling around his lip. His jaw was tingling from the fighting just a few moments earlier. "That I put you in danger. I shouldn't have let you come."

      Hanging the cloth on the side of the tub, she turned to her brother. "We've talked about this too many times by now, Jes. There wasn't a force in the world that would've made me stay in Ketterdam while you went off to risk your life. It wasn't your fault. It isn't your fault. We've all made it out alive."

      Sighing, he looked at Lavender, stretching his long arm out and grabbed her sleeve, tugging on it for her to come closer. As she did, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a warm embrace, nuzzling his head in her neck. She wrapped her arms around his waist, closing her eyes. 

      "You are my family, Jes," Lavender's voice was muffled by his shirt. "I'd do anything for you."

      His arms got tighter around her, holding her as if the fear of losing her only now came to the surface. So many things have happened, and it seemed that there wasn't time to even breathe in. He didn't know what the future had for them. He didn't know if they would all come out alive. And because of that, he needed to express his care for his family while he had the opportunity to do so. 

       Jesper sniffled, "Oh... I love you so much, Vi... I truly believe my ma sent you to us."

       Pulling back, Lavender raised her hands and gently cupped his face, looking at his teary eyes. "When all of this will be over... I think you haven't visited your mother's grave long enough. She misses you. Your father misses you."

        "Yeah," Jasper nodded, sniffling again as a few tears escaped. "Yeah..." He repeated. "If we managed to get out of the Ice Court, we'll manage to get out of Ketterdam."

        She gently wiped his tears and pulled her arms down, giving him a gentle smile. She took another towel and submerged it under cold water before wringing it and giving it to him to press it against his jaw. She got back to cleaning out the surface – throwing out used bandages and little swaps, cleaning bloody towels. 

        Jesper hopped on the counter, looking at his sister, before he blurted out a question: "Who's Jordie?"

        Lavender stopped for a second, but she quickly shook herself out of it and put a bit of soap on the stain, rubbing the towel together. She knew that it wasn't her story to tell and there was a reason why Kaz didn't go around throwing his story left and right. It was clear that his purpose was to have no weak links. No distant family that could be found by his real last name. No nightmares to haunt him with. 

       "He's..." She hesitated, not knowing what to say. "He's someone special to Kaz. Jordie was..." She stopped cleaning the stain as she looked down at the water, seeing a distorted reflection of herself. "He was ambitious. A good person. Someone Kaz really cared about it. I think Kaz sees Jordie in you."

      "You think he cares about me?"

      "He cares about all of you. He doesn't know how to show it."

      Jesper huffed out, pulling the towel away from his jaw for a few seconds as the cold was really stinging him. "He cares about you... In a way I never thought was possible," he scoffed, his shoulders rising and falling as he was shaking his head. 

       Cleaning the stain, Lavender tried to focus on the towel she was cleaning and not what she had just heard. "I'm his past. For someone who had no past to finally have one—it's dangerous in Ketterdam. Especially in the situation we are in."

       The man dumbfoundedly looked at his sister as he pressed the wet towel against his jaw. "Yes, you're his past. Yes, Kaz wouldn't want anyone to find that out. But it's not what I mean... I mean... He looks for you as soon as he enters the room. He never lets you do anything remotely dangerous because he'd probably go crazy if you would get even more hurt. Kaz loves you," he stated and immediately his face scrunched in disgust as if he had eaten something sour. "Ugh... I never thought that sentence would ever leave my mouth. I always thought he was incapable of love."

      Washing the soap out and hanging the towel on the side of the tub, she turned to her brother, her face blotchy in deep red: "I..." She sighed. "I wanted to let him know that I loved him ever since my childhood. Even if he's..." She looked away as if trying to find the right word.

       "Even if he's Kaz?" He helped her. 

       "Even if he's Kaz... We don't know how everything will end and how everything will be even if we manage to somehow win." She took a step back, leaning back to the wall. "I just wanted him to know how I felt. And I know he's not the typical romantic guy, but..."

       "Yeah, I see what you mean."

       Lavender looked at him curiously and Jesper widened his eyes before averting them away. "I mean, uh..." He tried to come up with something before he exhaled deeply, his shoulders slouching forward. "I kinda had a crush on him when I first joined the gang."

      The woman looked at him with a blank stare, shaking her head in disbelief: "Does Kaz know that?"

      He raised his head as if electrocuted: "If he'd know – I would've been long gone in a ditch with a huge dent on my head from his cane," he whisper-yelled.

      Lavender blew raspberry as her lips curled into a smile: "Aw... That's true love in Ketterdam."

      Offering her a side glance, he cleared his throat: "Very funny."

      "Go and swoon over Wylan. Don't think I didn't notice how you look at him."

      Jesper didn't even try to defend his case, standing up. "I kinda miss Wylan's real face, you know?"

      "We'll figure something out to bring back Wylan's looks," she reassuringly tapped his shoulder before he left the bathroom. 

     Lavender sighed, feeling how the restless nights were falling on her shoulders. Blinking slowly, she finished cleaning up the counters, placing the bottles in a row and hanging the remaining towels. She tied her hair back with the red ribbon and walked out of the bathroom. 

      It was already late. A little light at the other end of the bedroom was shining as Colm was sleeping on the bed, Inej resting beside him. Near the bathroom door, there was another little couch where Kuwei was knocked out restless. Aleksej was resting on a blanket on the carpet. She smiled, finding a moment of happiness in their rest as she left the bedroom, walking into the suite's other room. 

      There was food left on the table as she walked through the hallway closer to the siting room where right at the entrance, on the couch, Matthias and Nina were both asleep. It seemed like Jesper was gone with Wylan in the piano room which was just right to the right in the hallway. This suite was grander than they all had the ability to realise. Walking closer to the table, she turned off the main light to let the couple rest as she took a few grapes from the table, popping them in her mouth. 

      The curtains were shut in every room, but right in front of her, where there was the entrance to the balcony, there was a huge window that was left uncovered and Kaz was sitting on the windowsill, looking at the city from above. There was a mattress placed in the other corner of the room; they probably took it from the bed and placed it here as a few tables were pushed away to make some room for it. 

      She walked closer to the windowsill – it was wide, as if made for people to sit there as it showed Ketterdam in all its minimal glory. The windowsill was wrapped in a cushion, so she silently sat at the other end of it, leaving a decent amount of space between her and Kaz as soon as she pushed her knees to her chest. 

      Only then did she look at him, noticing that his gloves were off, resting on his lap. His coat was discarded somewhere, and his vest as well. The first four buttons of his shirt were unclasped, showing a bit of skin that was lighted by the faint lights of the harbours. His body was slightly twisted as he was facing the window, but his legs were stretched out away from it, his back pressed against the wall behind him. Not looking at the city, he was looking at her. 

      "You should get some sleep," she gently mumbled. 

      "You should get some sleep," he immediately bit back, but his voice was calm.

      "I think we both should get some sleep," she tried to come to an agreement. 

      The shadows and faint lights sternly lighted his face, but underneath all of that, there was a softness that was a rare sight to see. She could see the cut on his brow and his gently bruised jaw. She could see how tired he was and how hard every breath was tugging at his chest. 

       He didn't agree with her, so she took the initiative: "I can keep the first watch, okay? I'll wake you when I'll feel tired."

       "Just get to bed," he put her offer down.

       Lavender almost scoffed, "Why are you always so stubborn?"

       He gently shook his head, averting his gaze away from her back to the scenery. 

       Feeling too tired to argue with the stone wall in front of her, she slowly raised back on her feet, "Good night, Kaz."

     She walked to the mattress on the floor, taking a cushion off the couch that Matthias and Nina had put down, and she laid down, facing the wall, hugging the cushion between her legs for comfort and warmth. She tried to relax as soon as possible as it was the first time in a very long time that she was laying on something this comfortable. They were safe here. For now. 

     Kaz spent about another thirty minutes gazing outside the window. He felt helpless, but it wasn't in his nature to give up and leave. He has given too much to this city already. A part of him knew that he wouldn't leave this city of his own will, knowing that his brother was somewhere out there in the deep parts of the waters. He owed to win this to Jordie. To Lily. To Lavender. To all of those who were resting. 

     Beyond tired, he finally rose from the windowsill, moving to the mattress on which Lavender seemed to be already resting. Her frame was curled in a tight ball, with a cushion between her legs – just the way she used to sleep when they were little. The mattress had enough space for both, even more, to keep them away from each other, so he laid down without a second thought. He was exhausted.

     As he laid down, he exhaled deeply, pushing his hair away from his face, looking at the ceiling. He was listening to the uneven breathing of hers, the way her lungs wheezed out with every breath she exhaled. He couldn't shake the thought of her dying. He wouldn't be able to live with himself. 

      After a few minutes, he turned on his side, to face her. Oh, how he wished she would've been facing him. But instead, her hair was splattered on the mattress, tied with the ribbon he had gifted her. She showed so much love for such a useless thing. She showed so much love for him. 

      Hesitating, he reached his hand to her, making out her silhouette and her hair. His hand gently trembled, but he shook it off as he softly took a strand of her hair between his fingers. Feeling shivers run down his body, he focused only on how the strand of her hair felt. It terrified him, his own actions, of how aching he was to touch her. He knew the risks deep well, but his mind demanded for her. 

      Gently, he moved his fingers down, the strand escaping his grasp. Her body shifted and he quickly retracted his hand. Suddenly, she moved, her body tossing to face him. He couldn't see if she was looking at him or sleeping, but her breathing hadn't changed. The inches between them were making him feel as if he was burning. Before, the thought of having someone beside him in bed seemed impossible, but now... It felt intimate. His heart longed for a little touch even if his mind knew better. What a temptation she was for his broken heart.

      "Are you okay?" Her whisper reached him, startling him.

      "Yes," he calmly said even if his hands ached from touching a strand of her hair. 

      "Don't worry," she mumbled as she shifted further away from him. "I won't touch you. I'll keep my distance."

       Don't... The word sat on the tip of his tongue almost immediately. But he knew better. But it didn't make it easier for him not to reach out for her. 

𓄿

      "I THOUGHT... I thought when you said auction you meant that we'll sell Kuwei," Nina dumbfounded looked at Kaz, grasping a waffle in her hands. Colm had ordered a big breakfast into the suite to feed everyone. 

      "Kuwei is going to sell himself," Kaz explained. 

      "Are you mad?" Her voice was muffled since she just bit into the waffle.

      Everyone was splattered around the suite's sitting room: Jesper was on the floor with his legs crossed, Wylan was keeping his distance sitting beside Nina, Inej was on the windowsill, Matthias was on the other side of Nina as Colm was sitting beside Lavender and Aleksej. Kuwei was sitting on the mattress in the corner while Kaz was standing near the mirror in front of them all. Kaz took another cup of coffee, but Lavender suddenly raised from her seat, taking the cup away from him.

     "It's your third one already, Kaz. Hasn't been thirty minutes since the last one," she placed the cup back on the table and returned to her seat. 

     Everyone waited for what was going to happen. The Crows knew well not to mess with Kaz's coffee, especially when he was in the midst of scheming. But he only offered a side glance to his woman and placed both of his hands on his cane. 

     "I'm sorry," Colm suddenly stopped this whole scene, looking at Kaz and then at Lavender. "I'm not being told of something, am I?"

     Nina giggled, but quickly stopped as she received a glare from Kaz. 

     "Da, where is this coming from?" Lavender wrapped her hand around his elbow. 

     "I think we all heard what you said in the bathroom," Colm explained, and Lavender felt as if she was hit in the face. 

      They all heard her hysterical love confession. She blinked a few times, her cheeks becoming pinker than pale as she leaned back in her seat, looking at the carpet. "Da, it really isn't a big deal."

      "Is he pursuing you?" Her father didn't back down. 

      "Da..." she groaned, covering her face. 

      "If this is serious, I need to know. I told you countless times that I won't be giving your hand easily," he spoke as if he didn't notice how embarrassed his daughter was. 

       Lavender shook her head, taking his father's hands in hers, squeezing them: "Dad," her voice was stern, "let's discuss my love life later, alright? Not in front of them all."

      "Oh..." Nina hummed. "You didn't tell him about the marriage?"

      "WHAT?!" Colm's voice raised so unexpectedly that even Kaz flinched from the sound of it. 

      Lavender pushed her lips into a thin line, looking at Nina blankly. Nina mouthed a small 'I'm sorry.' Knowing that she would deal with Nina later, Lavender squeezed her father's hands tighter: "Dad! It's not a big deal. We faked a marriage certificate because—because things got complicated, and we needed a diversion. It's fake, Da, it's fake!"

      Colm looked at his daughter with wide eyes, trying to calm down. After a few seconds, he seemed to regain what was going on and he nodded: "Now, I still don't understand what you kids are doing, but... It's fake, right? You don't love him?"

      It seemed like this situation would never end. "Dad..." She whined. "It's really not a big deal. It's a fake marriage certificate."

     "Sure, it's not..." Nina mumbled as she reached for another waffle.

     Lavender snapped her head to the Heartrender: "Could you not?"

     Nina covered her mouth with the waffle innocently as if she wasn't enjoying this whole scene. 

     The Fahey daughter turned to her father and reassured him: "It's a fake marriage certificate. Nina just wants to have laughter." She looked at them all, waiting for them to say anything else, but they didn't dare. "Let's get back to the auction."

     "Right..." Even Kaz seemed to be a bit traumatised by the outburst of the Fahey's father. He cleared his throat before he continued to explain what he had in mind: "Any Kerch citizen and any free citizen who travels to Kerch has the right to sell his own indenture. It isn't just the law, it's trade, and there's nothing more holy in Kerch. Meaning he can submit his services at the auction."

     "My father will never allow this," Wylan shook his head. 

     "The Council is not above these laws. Van Eck will be powerless to stop this. Once Kuwei declares his contract open, no one can stop the auction until bidding has closed," explained Kaz.

     "But if Kuwei—open his contract, doesn't that mean that he will be the target for everyone to get?" asked Jesper. 

     "Trade is sacred, protected by law. The Merchant Council is bound to make sure an auction proceeds without interference. The stadwatch will be out in force, and the auction statutes demand that the Council of Tides provide their assistance too."

     "It's a bit crazy by how holy this law is," Nina mumbled, leaning back on the couch in disbelief. This seemed to be too good to be true. 

     Kaz turned to Nina. "We'll need to be in contact with the Ravkans again."

     "I can get the message to the embassy," Inej offered up. 

     "You should get more rest, Inej. You were injured," Lavender reminded her. 

     "And why don't you tell them more about your little new friend?" Nina suggested. 

     "Her name is Dunyasha," Inej said. "She called herself the White Blade. A mercenary hired by Pekka Rollins. She's very good," she stood up from the windowsill, placing a few silver suns onto the table. 

     "How good?" Kaz asked.

     "Better than me," Inej admitted.

     "Nonsense," Jesper grimaced. 

     "Dunyasha got to me because she had the element of surprise. If she would've followed us here, we would've already known. I can get to the embassy and back. Unseen," Inej didn't back down from her plan. 

     Nina finally seemed to grasp what was going on. "But what are we going to tell to Ravkans? Ravka can't win the auction." She lunged to Matthias' ears and covered them. "Ravka is broke."

     "It's nothing new," Kaz shrugged. "That's why the Kerch Merchant Council is going to bankroll them."

     Jesper blew a raspberry, "Yeah, as if that's possible."

     "The Council can't interfere with the outcome. They are the ones running the auction," Wylan explained. 

     "Of course, they can't interfere with the outcome," said Kaz. "And they know it. Kuwei and his father approached the Merchant Council looking for aid, but they were so afraid of compromising their neutrality, that they refused to act. Van Eck saw an opportunity, and he's been operating behind their backs ever since." Kaz pulled out a chair and sat on it. "Van Eck has been buying up jurda farms so that when the secret of jurda parem is unleashed, he'll control the jurda supply. He wins no matter who has Kuwei." He leaned forward in his seat. "Think like him—think like a merch. When Kuwei Yul-Bo, son of Bo Yul-Bayur, announces the auction, the Council will know the secret of parem could become public at any time. They'll finally be free to act, and they'll be looking for opportunities to secure their fortunes and Kerch's position in the world economy."

     "So, what are you saying exactly?" Jesper asked, confused. 

     "We set up a jurda consortium, a chance for willing investors to make a fine dime off the world going to hell. We bring the Council an opportunity and let their greed do the rest."

     "Oh!" Wylan's face lighted up, "The money never goes to the consortium, but to Ravka, so they could get the opportunity to bid in the action."

     "Exactly," nodded Kaz. "But we take a little percentage. It's the way it goes in Ketterdam."

     "But who's going to do all of that?" Jesper asked. "The merchants know all our faces; someone could recognize Aleksej and Lavender is on the edge of being recognised."

     "How about a jurda farmer who's been holed up in the most expensive suite in Ketterdam?"

     "Absolutely not!" Lavender and Jesper reacted before Colm even raised his eyes to look at Kaz. 

     "He's the only one of us that properly knows jurda. And can speak Kerch and Zemeni."

     "You are not bringing my father into this." Jesper immediately shut this plan down. "Van Eck is not that stupid – he can put our last names together and find out the truth."

     "No Colm Fahey is staying at the Geldrenner. Colm Fahey rented rooms at a little university district inn, and according to the harbourmaster's manifests, he left town several nights ago. The man staying here is registered under the name Johannus Rietveld." Kaz explained, his lips almost tugging into a smirk. 

      Lavender almost twitched hearing the familiar last name, but she averted her gaze down, not wanting to alert anyone else. Instead, she turned to her father: "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. We'll figure something out... Maybe—maybe I won't be recognised or even Aleksej..."

      "We need someone who would look the part. Someone older," Kaz didn't back down.

      Colm put his cup of coffee down on the table, taking his daughter's hand: "I'll do it."

      Lavender winced as she looked at Jesper, knowing they wouldn't change his mind. It seemed like everything was going far more dangerous than they all had anticipated.

happy late birthday to _Piahsha_

I am sorry to you all that I haven't updated in a while - I guess it is harder for me to write this book now that it is slowly coming to an end. I have written this book for YEARS and the thought of finishing it makes me sad!

What do you think of this chapter? How is the Fahey family to you? How is Kaz and Lavender's dynamic?
Also in the next chapter we will have a moment with Colm and Lavender and Kaz. Y'all... they will get scolded.

Thank you all for the support! Please don't forget to vote and leave a comment or two!