Art credit: Shellsweet
I do not own TMNT
Note: I am currently rewriting the series, so each chapter is under editing.

One of the first works of humankind Leonardo had ever read (not counting comic books) was an old torn and frayed, waterlogged bible he had found drifting in one of the many winding sewer tunnels. Even at a young age, he had liked to flip through it and try to break down its narratives as his wide eyes scanned its yellowing pages. Master Splinter would oftentimes sit with him for long periods after their training had concluded, discussing with his eldest son what he had read and the ideas that had sprung forth from the words. Donatello had always been opposed to this practice for he could not quite grasp the idea of reading any material that was not strictly educational. The blue classes turtle had politely disagreed, for he saw the words as educational in a different way, for the words (true or not) taught valuable life lessons that applied even thousands of years after it was written. Of course, since the lessons were not focused on some advanced form of biology or higher-level mathematics, the lesson was still considered useless to his younger brother.

Leonardo can easily recall the story that he had revisited the most often. The resurrection of Lazarus. Even present day he can recall the passages word for word: "Jesus called in a loud voice, 'Lazarus, come out!' The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen and a cloth around his face." And Lazarus was what was going through Leonardo's mind as he watched the final escape pod launch from the Technodrome. He feels the give of his youngest brother's kusarigama chain, more than he hears it, reverberating up his worst through his shoulders as he plummets backward with a cry of pain. Kraang Prime charged forward with his spindly arms flinging towards the quickly fading escape pod in the distance, until the pod was a dot fading away in the distance, and quickly out of sight. Water is already midway up his body, and he can hear the gargantuan alien's wails of their shared demise, yet in those precious few heartbeats he had before the ship went under, he wasn't afraid. He knew his death was inevitable, not even just at that moment, but in the life, he lived because the world, his family, always had to come first.

"No, no. Kraang Prime will not perish - Kraang Prime cannot!"

"You can, and you will. We both will," Leonardo coughs out, his lips trembling as they pull into a strained smile as he gives a mock salute with two fingers against his temple, "Looks like we're going down with the ship, captain."

Kraang Prime didn't hold the same disregard for death and charged blindly, screeching as it wildly swiped its spindly metal limbs at the blue in cladded turtle. He managed to dodge the first two sloppy stabs in his direction, his blue mask tails whipping behind his head as he ducked beneath the cylindrical arms, then the sharpened point of one of the alien's legs thrust into his arm, twisting there, before tearing out with a nearly blinding spurt of blood that splashed over his face. A bloodcurdling scream tore through his throat, bile rising in his throat as he stumbled backward with his nearly severed arm hanging loosely at his side and his spewing blood joined the quickly rising water. He weakly held his trembling palm to the massive tear in his arm, feeling the hot hours of blood pulsate past his groping fingers, and he gulps thickly as a strangled moan of pain escapes his tightly gritted teeth. The warmth of his blood gushed forth from in between the tiniest cracks between his fingers and he went to his knees, breathing raggedly. At this point, the water was at his mid-torso, sloshing around him in great, angry waves. His blood diluted into a light pink as it joined the rising swathes of frigid water.

"No, no! Stupid, monkey-blooded, turtle! Look what you've done... No! You don't deserve death," The alien snarls in the distance, "You don't get death. You get something far worse...yes...Kraang Prime will live, and so shall you. So shall you, pathetic reptile."

Leonardo was fully enveloped by the dark body of water filling the entire space of the sinking space ship. The incredible pressure compressed his chest, forcing his lungs to burn as if on fire. His heart began hammering, increasing in intensity and speed, like a bird trapped in a cage. The blue cladded turtle's throat seared in agony with the rising pressure of trapped air and his head began pounding with panic, threatening to explode any second.
He could hold his breath much longer than the average human, but not for an eternity. He had held his breath as long as he could, too long in fact. Giving in to that basic need for oxygen, he gave in to the pressure and took a breath of air, only to engulf a gush of salty water. He tasted the filthy ocean, foul and polluted, before opening his mouth again, this time to scream, he lets out a string of bubbles. Flashing splotches danced in front of his vision and he couldn't even tell if his eyes were opened or closed.

"Raph, Mikey, Don! Help, " Leonardo screamed unintelligibly through the roaring torrents of water that tossed him back and forth in the depths like a ragdoll. Blood continued to pulsate from his gaping wound in his arm, spreading a light hue of pink over his vision as he continues screaming, "H...h...help! P...please...!"

Leonardo's heart was beating wildly in panic. The urgency for air was more apparent than ever. The splotches of color seemed to flash in unison with his final frantic heartbeats, but as it abruptly stuttered to a halt, he succumbs to darkness. He exhaled his last, definitive breath, which rose in a fascinating stream of bubbles back to the surface from whence it came. The last thing he hears is the gargantuan alien's final taunts, "Kraang knows this...you, turtle will never earn the sweet release of death. No, you'll never...ever..."

———

"Leo-ohhhh."

"Leo! Leo, don't do this to me! Don't you do it — damn you," One voice snarls harshly in time with a hand frantically patting the side of his face," Donnie! Donnie, do somethin'! He's still ain't breathin'! Why ain't he breathin' damn it? Damn it!"

There was pressure on Leonardo's chest, shifting beneath the plates of his plastron as his lungs swell with air, then deflate again. The crack of the mutant turtle's sternum as it breaks free of its surrounding ribs is sickening. He is sure whoever is performing the chest compressions feels it more than he hears it, reverberating through their wrists and up to their shoulders. His prone body gives unnaturally as the intertwined hands continue pushing rhythmically. A pair of heated, wet lips settle over the blue cladded turtle's and a heavy, warm breath that tickles his lips forcefully pushes more air into his lungs, and there's a panicking shout of, "It's not working!"

"Oh, no...no," A soft feminine voice whimpers off to the side, "I-It's all m-my fault... I'm so, so sorry, Leo... Leo?"

There was a muffled sob, a warm hand cradling his own as another voice squeaks, "Please, please, Leo. You have to come back...you just have to..." A bead of water hit the side of his snout and the fingers curled around his hand contracted as a whimper fumbles out, "N-no, no, Don! You can't stop! You can't stop...! P-please, n-no! He's not gone! He's not —!"

"Don't you dare stop, Don - You ain't givin' up on him —!"

Leonardo abruptly surges upwards, water spewing from his lips as he bursts into a violent fit of coughing, and his thick, green fingers claw at his throat. It feels as if his lungs are replaced by a gapingly empty hole in his chest he takes in greedy gulps of air, his head pounding. He can feel his muscles straining and the thoughts in his head turn from wild, mindless panic into a dizzy confusion. Donatello is sprawled out on his knees in front of him, his eyes bloodshot and glassy as he pants harshly, clutching at his chest. April has her arm draped over the purple cladded turtle's shoulder and she is visibly crying in relief, her hand cupping her mouth. Raphael pounces forward and engulfs him in his sinewy arms, squeezing what little air he had from his lungs as he laughs nearly hysterically, and he used one hand to massage his shell real slow, trying to soothe his blue cladded brother. Michelangelo collapsed against his side, tears bursting from his baby blue hues like water from a dam, spilling down his face, and he feels the muscles of his chin tremble like a small child's.

"You idiot — You complete and total fuckin' idiot," Raphael grits out, his eyes clenching shut tightly as he felt his older brother's prone form melt against him as his muscles lost their tension, "You ever even think of throwin' yourself away in some stupid act of heroism like that again, and I swear, I'll set a new record for most teeth lost in a single punch! You'll be pickin' up your teeth with broken fingers!"

Michelangelo sniffles as he gives a wet chuckle, adding jokingly," And say what you will 'bout Raph but he is a turtle of his word."

Leonardo's fingers shakily graze the area the gaping wound in his arm had been. His mind replays the scene of his life fluid draining from his mangled arm as his leaf green skin took on the pallor of a corpse. The blue cladded turtle ran one finger up and down the length of his arms, a deep, perplexed frown tugging at his lips. But there had been so much blood - dark crimson, with a discreet, metallic scent. It had splashed into the swirling torrents of water, right through his fingertips; now there was no blood to be seen. Distantly he wonders if it had ever truly been there, or if had been an addled apparition from his oxygen-starved brain. He let out another shuddering breath, the chatter of his companions turning into a low hum in the back of his mind.

"Leo...Leonardo? Leonardo," Donatello exclaims worriedly, his fingers squeezing his shoulder as he gives him a light shake.

Leonardo slowly blinks, raising his head to face his younger brother as he mumbles, "H-huh, w-wha...w...?"

"I think you're starting to go out of it again," Donatello frets as his brows knit together and his lips form a thin line. He whips his head around to his other two brothers, telling them in a grave voice, "Help me get him up. He doesn't need to be walking, and we need to get him back to the lair so I can give him a full check-up. I don't know if he's quite out of danger yet."

Leonardo shakes his head, denying feebly, "N-no... I-I just need..." He reaches his hands forward, batting away his huddled younger brothers as he attempts to rise to his feet, "I-I just need...need...n..."

The blue cladded turtle staggered backward, his mind swirling, and his breaths shallow, until he fell into the waiting arms of his red cladded brother, sending them both to the rounded floor of the escape pod with a resounding 'thud'. Ocean water splashed over the curved sides of the pod and every new sore stings with the salt being washed in, making the katana-wielding turtle let out a pained hiss. His younger brother is spewing curses under his breath, his heated breath beating against the side of his neck as he shifted beneath him, attempting to situate them both upright against the side of the pod.

"Jeez, Louise — Leo," Raphael barks out, agitated. His meaty hands are scrabbling at his older brother's yellow platted chest, slipping over the moistened surface as he attempts to haul the pliable mutant turtle into a perpendicular position.

Donatello worriedly remarks, "Keep him in an upright position, Raph. His airway needs to be clear."

"Yeah, yeah! I know the procedures like the back of my damn hand, Don! We've only been gettin' drilled on 'em since we were like, what? Five," The red cladded turtle shoots back, before redirecting his attention to his older brother, "Sewer livin' at its finest, heh. C'mon, bro. Yah remember what Master Splinter taught us, huh? Of course, you do, Teacher's Pet. Now, c'mon, just like he told us — deep, slow breathes. There you go."

The blue cladded turtle nods weakly, inhaling long and deep, before slowly exhaling through his nostrils; his yellow platted chest rises and falls with the sedative qualities of a lullaby. He suddenly bent over as sharply as if he'd been punched in the stomach as violent coughing wracks his body. His eyelids flutter as he stumbles out, "C-col...c-cold...d..."

Donatello kneels beside his eldest brother, slotting two of his fingers over his wrist between the bone and the tendon over his radial artery. "Go and paddle with the others, Raph. You're the strongest of us and we don't need to be wasting any time," He orders, his voice stiff. His facial features are uncharacteristically stony as he fumbles for his phone, pulling up a timer as he keeps his fingers on his older brother's wrist, "I need to be keeping an eye on his vitals. Just hang in there for a little while longer. Okay, Leo? Just hang in there. Everything is going to be okay."

"...Everything...is...going...to...be...okay..."

                        One Month Later

Raphael heard quiet, throaty whimpers of distress as he eased open the door a hair, and with one eye aligned with the crack between the door and the doorframe, he saw his older brother thrashing around on the bed, clawing indiscriminately at his thick comforter and himself. When he fumbled with the light switch, the red cladded turtle forced himself to take a few seconds to calm down before he sprinted towards the twin-sized bed. 

"Leo," Raphael called out in a panicked voice as he hunched beside his brother in his bed, his hands fumbling for the latter's shoulders, "Leo, it's just a dream. Wake up, damn it! Leo! Leo — "

Leonardo jerks himself onto his side with a strangled cry, his eyes clenched tightly shut, then he balls his fist, sloppily throwing it in the general direction of his younger brother. Raphael catches the fist in his palm with a pained grunt, only to have his brother's free hand curl into a shaky fist and catch the edge of his jaw, but the slight brush of knuckles was enough to snap his head to the side.

"N...n-n...no! P-please," Leonardo chokes out and he tries to bat aside the thick, three-fingered hands hovering over him, "No! No, help me! Help me!"

"Leo! Leonardo, damn it, stop! It's me! Stop," The red cladded turtle shouts in alarm, raveling his thick, green fingers, grabbing a hold of both of the latter's wrists. Then he pushes his full weight forward, pinning his older brother's wrists on either side of the mussed mattress.

Finally, whatever Leonardo was seeing in his mind seemed to have gone as far as it was going to; the mutant turtle sat up with a sharp gasp, nearly colliding his head against his younger brother's. His eyes are wide and staring straight ahead, seeing something that wasn't there. Raphael cautiously released one wrist, so he could settle that same hand tentatively against his brother's shell and wait to see if he would be able to snap him out of his haze or if he'd just earn himself another shiner. Panting heavily, the blue cladded turtle's eyes swivel upwards to settle on his younger brother and a bead of sweat dribbles down the side of his face as his entire form stiffens. He doesn't realize it but his chin is trembling and his lips are parted, letting out quick, erratic breaths of air.

"Raph," Leonardo gulps, his voice quiet and exhausted. Slowly the tension fell away from his shoulders, his arms relaxing, "I don't...I don't feel..."

"Leo?" Raphael releases his other wrist and leans back, allowing his brother to fully sit up in the bed.

The blue cladded turtle croaks out, "I couldn't breathe. My chest...shit...it still hurts. It hurts so bad," His chest heaved, heart hammering against his ribs so hard he was frightened that it might burst clean out of its bony cage," W...water...so much water. I couldn't...I can never..."

"You're drowning," A voice hisses in the distance, carrying as if it were in the wind.

Leonardo clenches his eyes shut for a brief moment, his fingers frantically raking across his yellow platted chest as an involuntary shiver tears like broken glass down his spine. He is soaked in a thin sheen of too-cold sweat against too-hot by contrast skin. His breathing slowed by increments, breaths becoming less throaty and gasping as the realization hit him that he could in fact breath again; that his lungs were not filled to the brim with salty seawater. The blue cladded turtle clutched the edge of his sheet tightly against his plastron like a shield, as though the simple piece of cloth could protect him from the flashes of the nightmare that still washed and rolled over him like frigid waves. The red cladded turtle's brow creases as he slowly lifts his hand from his left, tentatively extending towards his older brother, before he quickly yanks it back, curling his fingers into a tight fist. He settles the hand on his lap, and his teeth grind together behind his thin-pressed lips.

"Bad dream," Raphael asks as if the answer was not already quite evident.

Leonardo sniffs lightly, answering in a scratchy voice, "Uh...y-yeah. Yeah, bad dream. That's all it was. I-I'm...I'm sorry for waking you, Raph."

Raphael nods slowly to feign understanding and affirms to his older brother, "You didn't. I was already up, so it's no big deal, okay? Do you need anythin'?"

Another mute side to side shake of Leonardo's head accompanied by an unfocused gaze that still lingered behind his younger brother. After a beat, the younger of the two turtles is gone, the door closing shut softly behind him to signal his abrupt exit. The blue cladded turtle exhales heavily as if a weight had been lifted from his chest, lowering his head so that his eye line rests on his feet. He frowns deeply and grabs his ankle, pulling his sinewy green leg close to him to inspect the bottoms of his three-toed feet. A fresh sheen of dirt that could only be accumulated topside marred his feet. He pushed the quickly accumulating questions to the back of his mind, instead pushing himself up from his bed to go to his feet, watching as the sheets that had been gathered around him protectively fell from around his form and pooled onto the floor. 

Leonardo dreams of his near-death experience more often than he cares to admit to his younger brothers, for he wakes up panting and soaked in sweat nearly every night. But other strange dreams plague him; dreams he tries to push into the back of his mind. Master Splinter tries to provide a sizable open-ear for his eldest son, but the blue cladded turtle does not feel he should voice his frankly ridiculous concerns to him or anyone else in his makeshift family. His brothers and their human friends worried for him, he felt it in their lingering gazes when he arose in the early hours, long before the sun was set to rise, and immediately went on a grueling training run in the sewers. He often returned mere minutes before their scheduled morning training was set to begin, with salty droplets flowing down his sinewy form, dripping onto the bamboo mats as he sits beside his waiting brothers to regain his breath. Long after training had concluded with an hour of light meditation, the blue cladded turtle remained in the dojo, requesting extra pointers from his sensei or lingering on his own to run through what they had gone through that day. He only exited for a brief meal that only satiated the persistent growling of his stomach, or to hastily grab a bottle of water. The dojo had become his only sanctuary in the newly crowded lair, for it was one of the few viable ways the katana-wielding turtle could avoid his persistently nagging brothers.

The one factor Leonardo hadn't accounted for was the new semi-residents of the lair; April and Casey. Leonardo was already wary of April out of habit, though he sensed that it hurt her, for he was the only one of the turtle brothers that had brushed aside her every attempt at building a friendship. The blue cladded turtle had never been deliberately mean to the human girl, for he had no personal grudge against her, and quickly realized how much her friendship meant to his younger brothers. She served as the fragile thread that connected the mutant turtles that were forced to linger in the shadows, to the surface world. For the katana-wielding turtle, it was just a matter of whether or not he could stand to grow close to another living being, and have one more weight on his shell in battle. And he never saw the point in creating ties with a world that would gladly sever them. Then there was Casey (the new one) that he especially avoided, for the same reasons and many more. The main one being that the human reminded the katana-wielding turtle far too much of his hot-blooded younger brother, and the last thing he needed was two temperamental meatheads breathing down his neck at every opportunity.

So, needless to say, when April and Casey decided to hover behind Leonardo, watching him with rapt fascination while he was practicing blind-folded sparring techniques, his younger brothers were almost short two human friends. His mind was already astray, still lingering over already fading dreams of crashing waves and diluted blood. So when the blue cladded turtle had felt that faint prickle on his neck that signaled an intruder, he had only barely managed to halt his swing with the wooden practice sword clenched in his grip, just a mere millimeter from the human boy's windpipe. The katana-wielding turtle pinched two fingers around the knot that held his blue mask in place and he began to rotate the mask until the slits were situated over his rapidly blinking blue hues. His gaze fell on the two humans, his quizzical expression reflected in his unmoving blue pools.

April speaks up, her lips forcing a smile onto her face as she sheepishly comes out with, "Oh—uh, sorry to startle you, Leo! Probably should have announced ourselves, huh?"

"Oh, there's no need to apologize. It's Casey that would be having to take his food through a straw," Leonardo quips dryly, a smirk pulling at his lips. His fingers twitch around his blue mask, starting to rotate the cloth to conceal his eyes once more, but he halts his movements, questioning the two humans, "Uh, okay then. Was there, uh, something you needed?"

April gives an affirmative nod, telling the mutant turtle as she clasps her hands together, "Yeah, actually. Casey was kind of hoping to spar with you," She goes on to add, "Raph has been helping him with a little bit of ninjitsu training here and there, and so have I, but he was kind of hoping to practice with a different opponent."

"And what did my brother have to say about this," Leonardo inquires, amused.

"When I brought it up with Raph he just about laughed in my stinkin' face, and then went on some spiel about how I'm not ready to face a full-fledged ninja in a no-holds-barred fight. Now, there's a pool going around on whether or not I could beat you one-on-one," Casey abruptly spurts out, his jaw clenched in visible annoyance.

"I might have put down a few bucks," The human girl admits as she bites at her lip. The human boy shoots her a glare, but she only shrugs in turn, tucking her hands into her pockets.

The blue cladded turtle presses his lips together, his nostrils flaring as he exhales noisily. "Look, I might be willing to go against you in a light sparring match just to see what forms you've retained during your lessons, but I'm not comfortable going against you in an actual full-scale fight," The mutant turtle expounds plainly as he turns his shell to the pair, making his way towards the weapons rack, "Not until you've had more extensive and routine training."

"Look, dude, I've been fightin' all my life, and I've never needed some ninnie-jut-stew trainin' or whatever to get a guy on the ground, okay," The vigilante barks back in response, his dark eyes narrowed at the mutant turtle and his lips curled into a deep frown.

"First off, it's pronounced: nin-jit-su," The katana-wielding turtle points out, his voice placating as he situated the wooden practice sword on the rack, "And I don't doubt that. I'm simply stating that if you're wishing to further study ninjitsu then it isn't wise to go picking fights with —"

With an arrogant smirk, Casey launched himself at the unsuspecting form of the retreating Leonardo with his hand raised in a curled fist. Except, Leonardo turned out not to be quite so unsuspecting. He could have dodged with ease and then continued his retreat had it not been for the smirk. That little rise in the corner of his mouth combined with the cool detachment in his eyes sealed his fate in the mutant turtle's mind. Turning at the last moment, the blue cladded turtle was able to grab the human's arm just as before the blow landed, and using his momentum against him, threw him over his shoulder. Then, the katana-wielding turtle followed him to the floor and smoothly pinned him in place, his bulky, three-fingered hands restraining his arms over his head.

"Casey," April exclaims, appalled.

"You know, one of the basic foundations of ninjitsu is the ability to attack undetected," Leonardo mentions in a nonchalant tone, cocking a single brow at the human pinned beneath him. The mutant turtle finds his feet, releasing his hold on the human as he goes on to further state, "Maybe a little more practice."

Casey shakily goes to his feet, swaying from side to side for a moment, before he stands upright and grunts out in annoyance, "Alright, so I don't exactly have the element of surprise up my sleeve — big whoop!"

"Oh, it's quite the 'big whoop'," The blue cladded turtle shoots back.

The human girl interjects in a coarse whisper as she grabs the vigilante's elbow, "I didn't bring you here just to try and goad him into beating you into a pulp. I wanted you to actually learn something!"

"Hey, Leo, have you seen the turtle wax anywhere," Michelangelo wonders aloud as he hops into the dojo, his arms folded behind his shell with an easy smile gracing his lips.

The blue cladded turtle frowns at the question, answering plainly, "Uh, no, Mike. I've already prepared myself for an utterly ridiculous answer, so may I ask why you're looking for turtle wax?"

The orange cladded turtle snorts, giving a dramatic roll of his baby blue hues, "Isn't it obvious, bro? How else do you think my shell gets this illustrious sheen?"

"Mikey," The katana-wielding turtle utters, dumbfounded, despite his previous deceleration of being prepared for any range of laughably absurd answers, "Have you been cleaning your shell using a cleaning product intended for a car?"

His orange cladded brother shifts from foot to foot consciously. "....no. No, no! Of course not, dude! I mean why would I, a turtle, use, uh, car wax on my shell? That's crazy — crazy!"

"I feel like you're saying that, but you honestly had no idea that turtle wax is in fact meant for cars."

"I-It's cool, dude."

"No. No, it's not cool," Leonardo huffs out in agitation, as he pinches the bridge of his snout. He parts his lips to add to his previous claim when suddenly his breath halts in his chest and his tongue feels like lead in his mouth.

Sniggering, Casey adds, "Only you, dude! Only you!"

April gives a lengthy roll of her eyes, then her pale blue gaze flickers over to the katana-wielding turtle and she frowns deeply. "Leo?"

Leonardo's face was washed blank, like his brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to take in the information from his wide eyes. Every muscle of his body just froze. Then without another word, he departs from the dojo, ignoring the chorus of voices objecting behind him.

Underneath his breath, the blue cladded turtle was silently pleading,"No, no, no! Not here, not now! Please!"

Leonardo's hand slaps over his mouth and with his sinewy fingers trembling violently against his lips, he muffles an anguished moan. As if in a trance, his fingers still cupping his lips, the mutant turtle stumbles in an unsteady gait across the threshold of the spacious sitting area, towards the gaping door that leads into his room. He can hear muffled voices calling his name, the seemingly thunderous falls of their footsteps that send vibrations shooting up his limbs, but his movements are sluggish, halted as if he were moving underwater. In his mind, he hears the deafening alien screeching as the ship gushes with the frigid, swirling torrents of the ocean, feels the salty water splash against his face. He stumbles and leans against the wall, his hand going to his throat as he coughs. Even then, as his lungs filled and emptied in time, he could feel that cold, stillness clamping onto his chest, freezing his vital organs. Some distant part of Leonardo knows that the reality in which he lived at that second in time shouldn't be possible; he had died. Every fiber of his being knows that it is simply out of the question for him to have drowned and still be walking around, but he had.

Leonardo was no corpse, that was for sure. He could feel the warmth of his pumping blood on his skin, and he could hear his heartbeat. But his head is pounding, every cell in his body is screaming for oxygen that never comes despite his frantic, gulping breaths. The blue cladded turtle's mouth is open in a mute gasp for air, his palm moving to nestle on the crease in his throat as he tries to force himself to just take in a single greedy swallow of air. A hand grabs his shoulder, meaty fingers digging into the flesh, and he tears away from the touch as if burned, gasping throatily. In only moments the voices were coming from every direction, getting closer, louder, more frantic. The katana-wielding turtle begins to fall. Breathing raggedly he barely makes it to his doorway, before his eyes roll into the back of his head and he crumples to his knees. He plummets further and further towards the ground until the darkness swallows him whole and he limply collapses, the full weight of his body smacking against the concrete beneath. 

———

Leonardo's leaf-green finger has the string of the teabag intertwined around it as he slowly steeps it into the steaming ceramic cup. He can feel the heat seeping into his palms, and he goes stock still, trying to listen to the frantic whispering going on in the dojo. After finding the blue cladded turtle out cold outside of his room, his purple cladded brother had tried to force him into a medical examination, which he had politely declined. Well, maybe not politely, now that he was looking back at it. A shameful blush crept up his cheeks as he recalls the none too gentle way he'd verbally declined his concerned brother in a way that would have put his hot-headed brother to shame. He frowns as a not so quiet yell, no doubt from the red cladded turtle in question, makes him jolt and nearly spill his tea over his front.

"No, it ain't fuckin' normal, Don!"

"Chillax, dude! He'll hear us!"

"I never said it was! Of course, it isn't! It's far from it in fact, I'm just saying that I'm not surprised. I mean, think of what he went through, Raph." A pause. "You don't come out of something like that unscathed. There were bound to be some repercussions, and now we're facing them."

"Yeah, face it, dude! Your bro is a stinkin' wackbag!"

In return there was an audible 'thud' of flesh meeting with flesh as an angry hiss sounds across the room,"Don't say shit like that, Jones! I mean it! You don't know what happened - You didn't have to watch him..."

"Raph," A soft, feminine voices, worried.

Needless to say, Leonardo's brothers and their human friends were none too pleased and had been arguing amongst each other on just what to do about it. He squints his eyes, his blush slowly fading from view as he takes a noisy sip from his tea. The mutant turtle didn't know of any orthodox way to approach his unique situation. If unique could even begin to explain it that is. The blue cladded turtle would like to think that he has a grip on himself, that he's not going off the deep end, but the rapidly growing pile of evidence says quite the opposite. The turtle, in blunt and straight to the point honesty, was likely a raving lunatic because, despite the great assortment of oddities that he and his family had encountered on their adventures, there was so far only one thing had remained constant and that was the looming threat of death. No ninja, mutant or otherwise, no matter their skill or strength, could conquer that.

"Raph, Mikey, Don! Help, " Leonardo screamed unintelligibly through the roaring torrents of water that tossed him back and forth in the depths like a ragdoll. Blood continued to pulsate from his gaping wound in his shoulder, spreading red over his vision as he continues screaming, "Help! Help...!"

Leonardo hadn't even realized how unnaturally still he'd gone in those few seconds as that brief flash of his memories attacked him. The turtle closes his eyes, taking in a brief shaky exhale, before taking another sip from his tea, but he had to suppress a groan when he hears multiple approaching footsteps and hurried whispering. His face scrunched up and wordlessly he sets down his cup of tea on the counter, and in true ninja fashion, made a miraculous escape. The blue cladded turtle quietly hopped up onto the counter and flipped up towards one of the many ceiling beams that extended across the lair, catching it with his hands and hoisting himself up without so much as a grunt of exertion. He shimmied his way across the beam until he reached the turnstiles that served as both an exit and an entrance into the lair, before dropping down on all fours and silently creeping down the dark tunnel.

"C'mon, Don," Raphael urges shoving forward Donatello, a smirk playing across his lips," You're the one sooo determined that he be examined."

Donatello gulps nervously, hugging his medical bag close to his chest protectively as he inquires of his two brothers,"You guys won't try and leave me to him, will you? I am the closest thing this family has to a trained medical professional, so I can't be left alone to deal with him. I take too much priority," Sticking one finger into the air in proclamation, he goes on to add,"I am not qualified to deal with expertly trained ninja patients."

"News flash - You're an expertly trained ninja, too," The red cladded turtle hisses in return, slapping the flat of his palm against his face.

The purple cladded turtle flushed as he quietly countered,"It's no secret that each one of us has our own unique forte, Raph. And while I may be trained in ninjitsu, I certainly do not excel in it as the rest of you do," Shifting in place uncomfortably,"Namely Leo. That's not to say he is the strongest fighter in our midst, but he has skill and grace that only comes from a highly dedicated training routine. The point is that I would not want to have a dust-up with him beyond the practice mat."

"You don't got to write a whole ass essay on it, Don. Just say that the dude would pummel you into the ground," The vigilante proclaims with a snort.

The purple cladded turtle retorts,"Oh, like you can talk! I'm surprised you're not still mopping yourself up from the floor!"

The orange cladded turtle he utters softly, "Uh, guys -"

"Geez, Don. What did Leo say to you," April inquires curiously.

Trying poorly to dial down his own evident amusement as he crosses his bulging, muscular arms over his yellow platted chest, Raphael asks,"Yeah, just what did our esteemed leader have to say to you?"

"Things that wouldn't go uncensored on cable television, that's what. Not only that, but he grabbed me by the mask," Donatello exclaims," By the mask!"

Michelangelo cuts in, "Guys, seriously! Look!"

The red cladded turtle's eyes flash over to the kitchen and an irritated growl escapes from his lips, "Great! That's just great. He's already ninja-ed his way out of here," His eyes snap over to the youngest turtle of the three and he glares," You couldn't stop runnin' your motor mouth, could you?"

The orange cladded turtle sputters in objection, his eyes bulging from their sockets," You've gotta be yanking my tail! For once I was being the quiet one, dude!"

Huffing, before letting out a quiet sigh of relief, the purple cladded turtle states firmly, "I don't like this at all. You know I'm used to this sort of childish behavior from you two, but from Leo... He's not himself," He runs his hand over his face, going on with a lengthy shake of his head, "Whatever, we'll just wait for him to come back. He can't sneak around forever, unless he's planning on making a daylight appearance."

----

Leonardo sits in a slouched position on the rooftop, his legs dangling off of the edge with both of his katanas laid out across his lap, a rag in hand as he shines them out of boredom rather than necessity. He holds one up in his line of sight, only a few inches away from his face as he peers at his reflection. In a brief flash, he sees his blue hues gazed over with a grey membrane, dead and lifeless in their sockets, and he flinches, nearly dropping the sword into the alleyway below.

He shakes his head in denial, clenching his eyes shut as he mutters reassuringly to himself," Not real. Not real. Not real."

Readjusting the sword in his grip, Leonardo hurriedly rubs the rag over the blade, intentionally averting his eyes away from the reflective metal. Suddenly there is a burst of buzzing against his hip that makes him jump with a start again as his phone angrily vibrates for what must be the fourth time in the past two minutes. And as the blue cladded turtle did the other three times he immediately shuts it off with a barely audible 'click'. Then after a moment, he guiltily swipes the phone from his utility belt and holds it in his line of sight, his blue hues skimming over the messages.

As was common with his younger brother, Donatello, his text messages progressed from well reasoned and methodical paragraphs with perfect grammar and punctuation to being nonsensical blurbs written in all-caps without any breaks. Leonardo snorts, shutting off the device and he moves to shove his phone back into his belt. Then, almost as if sensing he was being rudely ignored, the purple cladded turtle resorted to calling him, and the familiar chiming of his assigned ringtone resounds across the rooftop. The blue cladded turtle visibly slumps and the contact photo of Doctor Mindstrong of Space Heroes and the name Don-Boi flashes across his bright screen, making him wince. Scrunching his lips to the side of his face, the mutant turtle clicks the luminous green 'answer' icon and holds the phone to his ear.

"Leo," The voice of Donatello blasts from the other end, making him flinch violently and crane his neck away from his phone, "Oh, this is brilliant! Just brilliant! We find you conked out on the floor in a puddle of your drool, and what's the first thing you can think to do when you come to? Allow me to check you over, a sensible individual would think. Make sure your brain isn't cooking like an egg in your skull, maybe? But no. You see, that would be too easy for the likes of you. No, instead you choose to run topside with your tail tucked between your legs when any number of things could be wrong with you!"

Leonardo replies in a flat tone, "I'm fine. I just got dizzy. I'll be home in a few minutes, so you can stop blowing up my phone, okay?"

"Dizzy!? Dizzy," A new voice cuts in as a short scuffle sounds off in the background.

Leonardo nearly drops his phone into the alleyway below as his entire face scrunches up at the indignant screech his red cladded brother chooses to butt in with. "Yeah, dizzy! My blood sugar was probably just low or something, okay?"

Raphael barks back in response, "Is that all you've got? Some lame-ass excuse about low blood sugar? Oh, when your stubborn shell gets home -"

With a tired huff, he hangs up without another word and slides the phone into his belt, keeping his hand there. His fingers started fumbling against the opposite hip, popping open the small holster typically reserved for smoke pellets, and he pulls out a crumpled carton of cigarettes, the one stick shaking against the cardboard walls. He slides it out, keeping it pressed between his two fingers before he whips out a lighter from the same pouch and flicks it to life, cupping his palm around the cigarette as he brings the rippling flame close. As the end burns red, he curls his lips around the cigarette, inhaling deeply. The katana-wielding turtle inhaled that grey stench, and there was something cold and distant in his blue colored eyes as he took each drag, as his mind wandered to what it most often did — quickly fading dreams and thoughts of aliens and his nagging brothers.

"You're drowning."

Leonardo groans, gulping heavily, trying to push past the lump in his throat,"...Pull it together... You can't fall apart. You can't. Not here, not now."