TW: Triggers; Mention of/panic attacks
***

Tom had moved Lea so they were sitting on the bottom bunk, Tom laying on his back with his back pressed against the frame of the bed and Lea laying on top of him, arms draped around Tom's torso.

Looks familiar...Tom frowned at the tired boy, a look of anguish on his face, which only increased Tom's guilt.

///
Tom had still been getting used to life in the cellblock when his first month of being imprisoned rolled around, he still only had Lea and didn't even try to go to the cafeteria anymore after all the mocking for his face- Lea simply came back with a pudding cup for him, it was an interesting diet.
Tom would simply sit on the top bunk, legs drawn into his chest and staring at the wall.

Lea frowned up at him a little when he entered and tossed a pudding cup to him, Tom letting it hit his knee.

"Hey, dude, you sick or something?" Lea invited himself into the top bunk, climbing up and flopping down to sit beside Tom.

Tom shook his head, "In the head? Yeah, probably..." He muttered.

Lea awkwardly nodded, "I mean- aren't we all?" He grinned.

"Seems like it." Tom sighed.

Lea realized how serious Tom was being and furrowed his brow, "Snake? You're not seeming too well."

"I've got nobody." Tom's voice sounded empty, "I...five years without any family or friends and only people who want to beat the living shoot out of me..."

"Hey, I mean, you've uh, you've got me?" He grinned sheepishly.

"Why are you nice to me?" Tom frowned.

Lea leaned back, "Well, you're reminding me just how I was like when I came here, only different is I was put into isolation first..."

"How can I trust you?" Tom suddenly asked.

"What's your trigger word?" Lea blinked.

Tom flinched, "Wh-what?"

"You're in prison, everyone has one- you tell me yours, you trust me to tell you mine- and I will, I don't have reason not to if you'll say yours." Lea shrugged like this was simple information.

Tom bit what lip he had left, "Sounds shady."

"Your choice, I'm not exactly keen to share this so I don't care." Lea shrugged again.

Tom thought for a moment before huffing, "It's not a word...not exactly- more of a thing,"

"That's okay."

What the hell was this guy doing in prison with this kind of friendly attitude? "If anyone...mentions fire or- or like...if there was one I- I can't...I cant move- if I saw the flames and-" Tom was already shaking, surprising at how easy that was to break at him.

"I'll never mention fire in any joking matter- you have to promise me you'll never say my word, okay?" Lea blinked.

Tom looked him in the eyes, "Again, why are you being so friendly?"

Lea grinned, "I was in isolation for months, Tom, you're my first roommate in awhile, I don't see a point in annoying you or making your life a living hell. I want company, not an enemy- that won't do me any good."

Tom nodded slowly, still a tad bit shaken up, afraid of what Lea might do with the information he's received.

"Alright," Lea took in a sharp breath.
I'm not telling this kid I'm opening up to him because I find him attractive as fuck- no way. We'll stick with the friendship, just seeing him not hunched over and all depressed and shtuff works for now...

Lea seemed to hesitate for awhile before shaking his head, "Remy, my name is Remy." Upon saying this, Lea instantly stiffened up and his breathing shook, why had he done this? Idiot, he was an idiot- be strong, just a word, out of your own mouth- it's okay- you can trust him- you have to trust him-

"I'll...never mention it then." Tom gave a small smile.

The smile, something almost extinct on Tom's face, grounded Lea and he let out a thankful sigh, nodding.

////

What the hell was wrong with Tom? Why had he done that? Idiot, idiot. Idiot.

Tom caressed Lea's cheek as he slept, looking at his tired, red face with sad eyes, "We're pretty broken, aren't we?"

Lea let out a small whimper in his sleep.

"You're not apathetic at all...god was I wrong..." Tom scoffed at himself, "I never say the right things, like, ever...my own mouth gets me into situation like this."

Lea reached up to grab Tom's hand.

"I'm...pretty gay for you..." Lea mumbled.

Tom stiffened up, face going entirely red, "L-Lea?"

Lea looked up at Tom with a tired but honest expression, "Haven't I been obvious enough?"

"Lea I just- wh- I just said your- why are you-"

Lea yawned and sat up, stretching before smiling at Tom, "Oh, don't worry, I'm still really pissed at you for that- but considering what I did, is say we're just about even...people hurt each other with good intentions but bad executions...if I can love you after you've betrayed me in the dickiest way possible, what's your view on me, Tom?"

Tom's heart was racing, "I-I don't know."

"I know." Lea smiled, turning to sit on the edge of the bed, "You said it yourself, we're broken...you're not going to decide right now,"

"But I-"

"You're not, Tom, I want you to think about this before you respond- I'm giving you a chance to think before you act for once, take it."

Tom was quiet before nodding curtly.

"Now, about Brian, you need him on your side."

"But I don't-"

"I'm not saying you have to like it, but you need him on your side." Lea huffed.

"Why though?"

"You have burn scars, Tom," Lea pointed out, "It's only a matter of time before Brian uses fire against you."

This made Tom's stomach drop in horror.

"If you want to be protected, you follow him, if you don't want to, then pretend." Lea instructed.

Tom was beyond terrified before he shook his head, "Lea...can I ask you something?"

"Hm?" Lea hummed.

"Why does...your first name...bother you?"

Lea frowned, looking a bit bothered, "I'm not saying that out loud, not until Brian is gone."

"You think he'll find out?"

"Not sure, but if you never spout facts, all they are is theory- and I'm keeping it like that for my own sake and yours-"

"My sake?"

"Tom, if you thought me having that kind of break down was bad, you should be happy, that's the least of what could have happened- you caught me when I was already letting my emotions get the best of me; so well played."

Tom tapped a finger on the mattress he sat on, "I don't care..."

Lea looked a bit surprised, "What?"

"When you hurt me...you were so broken afterwards..." Tom pointed out.

"So?" Lea blinked.

"The look on your face...Lea, you cared- you do care, you just hide your emotions...please don't hide your emotions around me?"

"You don't want me hiding my emotions?"

"Not when it's just you and me." Tom nodded.

Lea blinked again before turning to Tom, pausing a moment before leaning in and kissing the other boy right on the lips.

Tom was taken so off guard that he had no time to kiss back, if he had chosen to do so, however, that didn't matter when Lea leaned back and gave Tom a smile, a genuine one- one Tom had never seen, sending him reeling.

"I like you, Thomas Reece- that's coming from someone who's been through so many things like me and I still like you, I feel happy around you- never leave me."

By now, Tom's face was rivaling the sun for heat, "O-Okay."

"I'll try and be better with my emotions." Lea smirked as he sat back, "I want you to decide on yours first though before I go any further with my emotions." He stood up and stretched, "Now, come on, we have to go scam the catfish himself."