dear diary,

how come i feel this way?

whenever i see those people in my life that i look up to, i notice this one thing; confidence, reassurance, joy... and i don't have that.

why?!

no matter how hard i try, or how much i work, or how long i endure... it doesn't change.

they never feel so empty, do they?

anyway.

i saw a group of kids today. my age, i mean.

they were laughing, and shoving each other around, and constantly chatting and teasing each other. 

i don't have that. at all.

i really... really want it.

with much love,

leanne