dear diary,

i'm not scared of the dark... but i have this light on, even though it's one in the morning.

i'm not scared of the dark... even though i can't be in a dark room.

i'm not scared of the dark... i have a shadow.

i'm not scared of the dark... because i'm terrified of the monsters in the corner of my room. 

with claws, and eyes, and sharp teeth. with shadows, and silent roars, and bodies that sweep over me and eat me.

i am terrified of being mauled by them.

i am terrified of their wicked grins, and their glinting eyes, and their darkness.

i am so scared- i might scream.

i know they aren't real. but they haunt me, and they're there, and i can practically see them. i feel my skin erupt in shivers, and my mind shut down in terror, and my throat gets ready to scream.

it's numbing.

it's terrifying.

it's absolutely ridiculous.

maybe it's stress. maybe it's exhaustion. maybe it's my convoluted feelings. maybe i'm worried. maybe i'm struggling with friendships. maybe i'm... losing my mind.

good night...

with much love,

leanne

p.s. this is real. i'm not making this up.