Hello everyone :) I want to thank God for his blessings upon this story and all of you loyal readers who are continuing to read this story with such great patience and giving appreciation to this story as well :)
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Important: Casual alcoholic drinking is mentioned in this chapter for storyline purposes only.

Important: Anxiety disorder is mentioned in the beginning of this chapter as a conversation between Anika and her therapist. If you are struggling with anxiety or similar issues, please do get help. I am not endorsing anxiety disorder at all in this story. Anxiety disorder is mentioned for storyline purposes only.

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Chapter 26 is a 3 part series chapter since this chapter is quite long, so I divided for readers :) So, there is part 1, part 2, and part 3 :)

Important Author's Note: Armaan is a temporary character who will be leaving the story soon around Chapter 30-32. Armaan and Anika's relationship is temporary.

Anika's perception about Armaan will change in this chapter.

Thank you for reading :) I tried my best on this chapter and this chapter may have grammar errors because it's night right now in the U.S. and I could not unfortunately go over the large chapter again for edits, but grammar edits will be made tomorrow.

My critique: Anika is the most complex character of all...

I am not sure if you will find this chapter interesting, but I tried my best :)

Let me know why you think Anika is so confused at the moment and what do you think is wrong with the Oberoi family?

I worked quite hard on this chapter writing the entire week, so if you want to continue to encourage me to write, then if you wish, you can upvote this chapter :) Only if you wish, you can upvote this chapter :) Thank you :)

P.S. Thank you for 45K reads :) and helping this story rank #24 on #Ishqbaaaz category on Wattpad :)

Again, I tried my best and wrote the best I could. I was quite tired by the end of posting these three chapters, so if possible, if you like this chapter, then if you wish, you can upvote this chapter :) I hope this story succeeds because I really tried my best.

Ch. 26 of is more Anika's point of view because this chapter sets up her journey in the crazy Oberoi family. She will be introduced to the weird, unsupportive family Shivaay has and she will change a little towards Shivaay in the end of the ch.

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Part 1

Three weeks later

https://youtu.be/XMr1EyHDbno

Three weeks later

Anika's Point of View

"Repetitions. It happens a lot when it comes to him. His memories...our memories keep repeating in my mind. I keep thinking of what we were and what we could have been." My eyes wandering to the deep sea blue colored painting on the wall. An unusual deep desire in me to visit a majestic place that would display the same beauty. An escape from a state of conflict I find myself in. A consistent tension that I cannot get rid of.

"When did this start?" My thoughts snapping apart as I looked at the thin, petite figure sitting in front of me. Her wiry black glasses falling on the tip of her nose as she squinted and took notes on a small notepad.

"A few months ago when he came back." I bit my lip as the memory of our first encounter of many years dashed back to me. The moment I met him at the presentation. How that moment blew my breath away and sent me back to a past. A past that was toxic yet beautiful.

"How did you feel?" Dr.Gibbards questioned as I looked up at her.

"I don't know...A typical ex-wife would feel angry and distant. I felt angry. I felt shocked frankly to see him. I didn't expect it. The last time I saw him was at his wedding day. Remember I went to make my plea to him without any shame?" I muttered feeling embarrassed as Dr Gibbards leaned forward and squeenzed my hand.

"Nothing to be ashamed of dear. This is a safe space," She whispered consolingly as I smiled looking at her.

Dr. Gibbards, an old and frail woman, has been my therapist for years since I separated from Shivaay as she is helping me take control of my anxiety. She knows the story. Everything and I know I can trust her because who else is there to trust? Best secrets are kept my strangers actually.

"I know...It's just I don't know what to say. We had a lot of tension at the beginning when we met. He was distant and I was stupidly hunting for some remnants of love he may have...I don't know why, but I did. Then...then I met his cousin on his sister's wedding. His cousin's name is Armaan and he was very pleasant in matter of fact. The complete opposite of Shivaay."

"How is Armaan different from Shivaay?" She questioned curiously.

I sighed as I gathered my thoughts and looked at her. "Armaan is kind and considerate. He listens to my thoughts and makes me feel happy. I haven't felt happy in a long time actually...But..."

"But what?"

I took a deep breath as I felt fearful of reflecting on deeper thoughts I had. I am scared to find something that I don't want to see. "I feel empty still. When I am with him my mind still goes back to Shivaay. Too much has happened and he has consumed me too much...He has affected me..." My lips quivering as painful memories returned back. My breaths deepening as I sucked in a breath of air.

Dr. Gibbards looked at me curiously as I clasped my hands together ready to reveal a truth I was holding on to for a long time. "Um...one night...him and I...we got caught up in emotions. Lust as I see it..." I paused as I looked at her.

Dr. Gibbards' mouth widening a little as she looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders as I leaned back on the sofa realizing I had made a big mistake. I mean I have made quite a few mistakes, but this is one of those great ones'.

"How can I just commit sin like that? I mean I sinned that night when I allowed him to come close to me. I still don't know what overcame me. Perhaps, it was a physical attraction...pure lust."

"And how do you know that?" Her statement drowning out my thoughts as I looked up at her quite confused. What does she mean? What is she implying? My mind beginning to spin as I looked at her.

"Do you think it was something more?"

I rolled my eyes as I laid my head on the end of the sofa staring at the crème colored ceiling as my mind drew a solid blank. Searching memories and hidden thoughts to understand the true meaning of her word, but utterly failing at it once more.

"Um...I-I don't know what to say...I see it as lust and the fact there was this tension we both had...something that was not given an end to. Perhaps, that's what that night symbolized..." I whispered as I couldn't think more. My mind keeps giving me this explanation and this is something I have embraced not wanting to think more and dwell into guilt and shame over my deeds.

"Maybe a beginning?" Dr. Gibbards leaned back in her chair. She faintly smiled looking at me as I shrugged my shoulder.

"That is not possible. He has hurt me too much. In the beginning when I met him again, I thought maybe there was hope from mixed signals from him, but then he told me he can never love me, so I gave up. I moved on with Armaan. Then one night that moment happened and after he kept questioning me about if I loved him? Like why did he do that? Then...recently I told him to let go of me..."

"Let go of you?"

"Yes...let go. It's been 3 weeks since I have seen him..." The statement somehow making me shiver as I felt a sense of emptiness inside of me. My heartbeat increasing as the thought hit me with realization of how long it had been since I last saw Shivaay. I should be happy he is gone, but I don't feel it. It feels wrong of me to be happy...

"I am with Armaan now...but I feel odd. It feels different..."

"Shivaay was your last serious relationship of course..." She remarked as I nodded and clasped my hands together nervously.

"I know. Maybe that's why? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like something is off..."Indeed, I am having a gut feeling lately that something is wrong and I cannot pinpoint what, but I feel like something is not going right.

"Are you in a better place? How is the anxiety?"

"Better...It worsened a little when I saw Shivaay again, but it has improved lately. The medications are working well and I am trying to stay calm..." I whispered as I smiled realizing that I was at least doing one thing right in my life.

Dr. Gibbards smiled as she got up. I got up and gave her a side hug with realization our session had ended.

"You know I am always here and I am happy this session was productive Anika, but I know you are a strong woman and you have potential. Potential to run after your happiness sweetheart. Now I want you to reflect and for once think about what you spoke today...Think about this conflict you are having...Think about Shivaay and what happend lately. Also, think about Armaan. The decision you will make now will affect you and I know you have the right to decide, but decide for happiness and what makes you feel complete..." Her words soothingly reaching me and providing comfort to me.

Think about Shivaay? Why would I think about him? Am I truly in conflict about both of them? I shouldn't be considering Shivaay is not mine and he has let go of me. Why should I reflect on everything? It's not worth it. It's not worth thinking about it. Why would I find my happiness in Shivaay?

Shivaay's Point of View

"I am glad the deal has been fixed and the project will move forward. Anyways, just get the contract papers ready ok? I am now back working in the city at our headquarters, so just get the papers and travel back to my main office alright?" I held my voice of command as I hung up the phone and took a deep breath, looking out the window.

My eyes following the muddy puddles that formed against the streets of San Francisco as rain continued to pour in silence. The loud drips of rain clashing against the car's window as I sat still finding myself retrieving into my thoughts.

My hand drumming against the edge of the back passenger door as I tried to relax only to feel that unusual heaviness in my body that had not escaped ever since I let her go.

Unbuttoning my suit, I laid my head against the seat as I looked at my driver who slowly navigated his way through the afternoon traffic that had unusually occurred despite the fact it was not rush hour.

"Indeed, the Bay Area hates the rain, but it great to have some considering we don't want California to go back to a drought that occurred a couple of years ago..."

"Maxwell...can you please turn off the radio," My voice having a tinge of annoyance as the radio turned off immediately.

I sighed as I took deep breaths, closing my eyes shut only to see her flash across my vision. Her infectious smile and giggles...her bright brown eyes full of innocence and childishness...Her touch that is tender and soft and brings me peace...

Ever since I have let go of her, I cannot stop thinking about her. Everywhere I go and whatever I do, she lingers somewhere in my mind. Each and every moment I have spent with her lingers in my memories and it is wrong considering I have let her go, but then what can I do? My mind has let her go, but not my heart. My heart is still beating on her tunes and still wants her. Sometimes, I regret letting her go, but what can I do?

I have always learned to control his emotions, but somehow am finding himself being vulnerable to a thing called love. Am I really in love with her? Is it love when I think about her all day and night? Is it love that when I finally fall asleep, I find her somewhere in my dreams? Is it love wanting to just be in her presence and nothing more?

An unusual ache appearing inside of me just thinking about how we have long separated...For five years, I didn't think about her...she lingered... in my memories coming time to time back, but now she is here to stay. She stays in my mind all day in each and every moment.

Pressing my fingers against my temples, I sighed as I found myself being suffocated in the San Francisco traffic....well not just here, but I find myself being suffocated everywhere since I have given up on having her.

I have decided to back off a little from working in the new hospital I took over, meaning the hospital where Anika works of course. It's better I stay away from her for a while and give her space. So, here I am back at the company headquarters leading other projects.

It's best to keep my distance from Anika. It will be the best for her and for me. For Chaaya...I have let go of her and it's best I do considering what I have done, but then why is it so hard to let her go? Why is my heart telling me to not let her go? I keeping thinking of her day and night playing memories and only thinking about her...Love isn't supposed to be like this so I have heard. I am supposed to find peace and calm in knowing she is on her path of happiness and strength, so why am I not finding it?... Is this love or an obsession?

Anika's Point of View

"Woooah!!!"A loud scream erupted from me as I held on Armaan tightly, burying my head against his arm as he twirled me across the stage.

Armaan laughed as he wrapped his arms around me pulling me into a hug. My hands uncomfortably drawing itself away as I did not know what to do or where to place them. My heart beating fast as his unfamiliar touch stood against me. I slightly smiled as he pulled away and looked at me as he appeared to admire my features.

"You are so beautiful meri jaan...I am quite the lucky fellow here..."He chuckled as I slapped his shoulder lightly.

Indeed, I found some luck on my path as the last three weeks truly had brought out something new in me...I don't know what it is, but I feel different. An unusual burden and heaviness lifting away from me as I find myself happy and exuberant likely due to Armaan. He truly has brought a sense of liveliness to my life.

Armaan and I have been dating quite a lot since the last three weeks with finding ourselves in each other's company for hours at a time. I am enjoying this dating phase as I find myself finding pleasure in Armaan's company.

However, at times...I don't know what it is, but I feel like something is missing. Something is wrong and I don't know what it is...

I bit my lip as Armaan turned to an employee working for the fashion show. I clasped my hands together as I felt anxious closing my eyes only to see his face in front of me...Shivaay.

Somewhere he is still lingering in my mind...I don't know why, but he still appears to linger in my thoughts in each and every moment of mines'...in each moment I spend with Armaan. Questions continue to linger in my mind such as how he is? Where he is? What is he doing?... And why did he disappear? Shivaay told me he would let me go, but...I didn't realize he would disappear from my life completely without leaving a trace...just like he did last time.

Running, my hands through my hair, I took a deep breath trying to relax myself and attempted to distract myself by observing the detailed décor for the fashion show. My eyes running through the large black glass colored stage that circled itself in different diagonal and horizontal directions enveloping the audience chairs that laid in shades of maroon and pastel colors. A beautiful chandelier enveloping the room in the middle of the large hall as it lightened up and enhanced the beauty of the fashion show. I slightly smiled as I felt a sense of pride appear inside of me upon the realization I had somehow organized all of it and it took a lot of hard work, but somehow I did...well we did it.

I smiled as I looked at Armaan as he grabbed my hand intwining his into it. "The beauty of this organization just shows, if we come together, what beauty we might just create," He whispered softly as I giggled and looked back at him.

Armaan has this unusual sense of charm to him and his kindness further enhances it. In the past three weeks he has charmed me and I find myself further deepening my attraction for him. I am attracted to him, but not on a level of what you call romance. I find attraction in his honesty, in the trust we have, and his appreciation for me and my appreciation for him.

"I guess so Armaan..." I said as he smiled and pulled me closer against his shoulder.

"Well I should thank Taaya ji of course for handing me over this fashion show project with you...Thank God, Shivaay pulled out of the project. He truly handed me his luck," Armaan remarked as he chuckled. I tried to smile upon my comment, but for some reason couldn't. I don't know why, but even the mere indication of his name gets to me and gives me reminders...reminders of what we were...the mention of him brings a pause to my present and brings me back to my past and memories of it.

"Anyways, are you excited for the weekend?" Armaan nudged me as I smiled and shook my head.

"I cannot wait for the fashion show and then of course the Diwali party we have organized on Sunday," Armaan said gleefully. His smile making all the way to his eyes with indication of how excited he was.

Armaan has been completely committed to the relationship and I could see it in how he always involves me in all of his events and ensures I am comfortable and happy. He is a unique man that I haven't met before...Shivaay was never like this...He was the opposite. Always isolated and aloof from me...I sighed as I tried to not remind myself of the past.

"I wish we had the Diwali party earlier when it was actually Diwali, but mom and dad decided it's better we spend Diwali with doing puja and spending time as a family you know?" Armaan remarked as I smiled and looked away.

Diwali was a little quiet this year. I found myself just sitting home and lighting three diyas with my parents along with attending a small puja at the temple. My parents had somehow come around me and been a little more happy with me compared to their anger and disappointment on karva chauth. Shivaay's words somehow worked on my parents and after that conversation with Shivaay, they hadn't said another word except that I have only one last chance to keep the family's pride and keep their trust.

Moreover, these days Mom and Dad have become more aware about Armaan and I. The day after karva chauth, Armaan decided to pick me up for the date despite me telling him he shouldn't. Well, somehow my parents got impressed with Armaan in an instant and somehow are liking our so-called "courtship" period. Apparently, my parents are conservative, but some how they are ok with courtship. Indeed, I cannot understand my parents. Why did they then overreact to Shivaay and I?...Wait Anika stop. Why are you thinking as if you and Shivaay were together? I broke the thought as I looked at Armaan as he grabbed my hand as we began to walk down the stage.

"Anyways, we have everything organized along with the models for the show, so everything is going as planned. The bidding for the outfits will occur after the show in the hall next door along with online afterwards," Armaan noted as I agreed.

"You ok Anika?"

I broke out of my trance as I looked at him. "Um...yes Armaan. I am fine. I guess just a little tired from running back and forth for the fashion show of course. Um...so about tonight? Are we still going out?" I questioned curiously as Armaan smiled and looked at me.

"Why are you eager to spend some time with me?" Armaan questioned teasingly as I rolled my eyes.

"Acha...of course we are going Anika, but I decided why not spend some time with other family members, so I invited Om, Gauri, Priyanka and Akash at the nightclub in San Francisco!" Armaan appeared excited as I sighed and looked at him.

I never went to a nightclub before and clearly I was not comfortable with the idea of partying in San Francisco before a few days of a major charity organized fashion show. I told Armaan about this, but he seemingly told me his idea was great and I should liven up a little, so some how he convinced me and I got convinced to agree, but I am still not liking the idea.

"You look amazing in that poster by the way." Armaan winked as he pointed towards a poster of me standing with a wide smile as I wore a beautiful pink gown with a stethoscope around my neck. It was from the day of that photoshoot with Shivaay...I bit my lip as memories from that day flashbacked to me. That unusual sense of happiness and comfort I found in Shivaay's presence...how in that photoshoot we forgot about everything, including our past, and only found ourselves lost in the moment.

Raising my eyebrow, I found myself questioning what happened to the posters where Shivaay and my pictures were supposed to me published? Somehow the pictures we both took for that photoshoot to promote the fashion show never made it out to the public. It's so stupid of me to be curious about those pictures, but somehow I am curious to a point that I personally want to find where they went. I don't know why I want to look at them, but for some reason I want too...It's wrong right? It's wrong to think of him and I, but some how I still am despite me being the initiator of telling him to let me go...It's wrong to be with someone and think of the other, but I am and I don't know why...

Shivaay's Point of View

My hand ran across the edges of my phone as a soft smile appeared across my face. My eyes observing the smallest details of her smile as she appeared to lower her eyes in shyness while holding a bouquet of flowers. Looking ravishing in the gown she wore as she stood in front of me. My gaze staying still upon her in the moment and only admiring her beauty...not just her physical appearance, but the beauty of her soul that I wanted to touch...

I smiled as I continued to look at the picture from the day of the photoshoot that I had kept on my phone. In the path of letting her go, I also decided to save her pride and her family's honor by not allowing our photos from the photoshoot to be published in public. It would be the best for her.

However, I have kept the photos for myself and somehow I find myself being lost in the hope the photos offer...hope that someday we can be together and share that same desire, admiration, and pleasure for one another seen in the photos. That day was something different...both of us forgetting who were and what past we shared, but only focusing on one another in the moment and finding pleasure and hidden desires in one another's company.

If only I had gotten one chance...one chance Anika and I would've proven myself to you...proven my love to you.

I cannot even curse my fate because I have reaped what I have sowed. I broke her heart, played with it, and left her...of course I do not deserve her. I do not deserve her as my soulmate, but somehow I still want her. I know she deserves someone better than me, but then I also know that only I will be able to give her the happiness she deserves...heal her wounds...and love her without giving any value to it. If only you could understand Anika...

Why did I let her go? Why did I become vulnerable to her tears and allowed her to slip out of my hands? I have made such a wrong decision and now it is difficult going back.

"We have arrived sir." Breaking my thoughts, I looked out at the mansion as I smiled.

"Ok. Just wait out here Maxwell alright?" I ordered as Maxwell nodded.

There is only one light to my darkness at the moment and that is Chaaya. I smiled as I grabbed the gift bags next to me and got out making my ways towards the front gates of the mansion as the bodyguards opened it.

Hopefully, these gifts cheer up the little one as she has been a little upset the past few weeks. I don't know what has happened to her, but lately she has been asking a lot about Anika and us...Questions to why we don't live with her, when Anika will come back, why I don't live in the same home as her. Questions that I cannot answer as answering them will break the delicate world of beauty she has formed that is free of the broken aspects of her life.

As the guards opened the door to the mansion, I made my way inside to have Mrs. Dixit welcome me kindly. I smiled at the elderly woman as she grabbed my coat and hung at the coat hanger. It's rare I call someone kind and it's rare I trust someone, but somehow Mrs.Dixit has definitely won my trust.

Ever since Chaaya began to grow up, Mrs. Dixit has become her caretaker and a confidant for Chaaya who finds her grandmother in her. I remember how I met Mrs. Dixit at an elderly home back in India when Chaaya...I stopped the thought as I did not want to be remembered of what had happened in India that fateful day when I decided to hide Chaaya from everyone else.

Well...ever since I met Mrs. Dixit at the elderly home and found how her American born sons had abandoned her back in India, I decided to take her in and offer her a job as Chaaya's caretaker and indeed she has found her home with Chaaya and her liveliness.

"How is she doing today?" I asked worriedly as Mrs. Dixit shrugged her shoulders looking at me hopelessly.

"I wish I could give good news, but...Chaaya is struggling...I mean she is doing well in her schoolwork as the homeschool teacher noted today, but she is not happy. She's just sad and feels alone...I tried everything today to improve her mood. I made her favorite chicken biryani and mango custard, but even that didn't pick up her mood. I told her to go to the park with me, but she didn't oblige. I don't know beta what I can do..."

I felt my heart ache upon hearing Chaaya's condition as I bit my lip worriedly. My throat choking on to tears as I tried to hold them back. Somehow Chaaya makes me vulnerable. I have a father's heart of course and indeed a child does make one vulnerable to fears and worries about their child and their future just in my case as well.

I have learned how money cannot buy everything. Indeed, Chaaya see's her happiness in Anika and I being with her and endowing her with love, but that is not possible...It's not like I don't want Anika to know about her...I mean before I met Anika again, I was adamant about not letting Anika know about Chaaya as I feared she might fight for her custody. However, now after realizing my love for Anika, I do not want to be dishonest with her, however, Anika wants to move on and if I tell her about Chaaya she might not be able to.

"Where is she now?" I questioned as Mrs. Dixit eyed towards the living area towards the left. I nodded as I slowly made my way towards the large living area as I heard cartoons playing loudly in the background.

I smiled as I looked at Chaaya as she sat in silence on the sofa looking at the cartoons without uttering a word. Chaaya always has been an unusual child compared to others. She is an old soul as she's never stubborn or never complains, but tends to adjust to her environment and enjoy her peace and silence. However, lately she has had an unusual air to her. She is more quiet than she is usually and more reserved than she has been ever before. Indeed, questions she has been having have led her to be silent.

"Chaaya...meri jaan..." I smiled as Chaaya perked her ears and looked back at me as she softly smiled.I ran up to her and pulled her into a bear hug as she hugged me back tightly.

"Namaste papa," Her voice bringing a sense of peace to me as I pulled her away and looked at her.

"That's all? Just namaste? Nothing else?" I questioned as she smiled and hugged me again before silence fell upon her.

"I missed you Chaaya. How are you doing today?" Chaaya looked up at me appearing to have questions before looking away.

"Ok. I just finished my homework and now was waiting for dinner..."She admitted as she laid her head against my arm.

I smiled as we sat in silence for quite a while as we watched her favorite cartoons. I could tell she felt more relaxed in me being merely present and giving her company. I wish I could spend more time with her, but what can I do when I am bounded by this secret. I want Chaaya to have a family, but I want her to have the type of family she deserves. My family will never accept her. They will only label her as my family loves giving labels...I don't want my child to have the label of being an illegitimate child because she isn't...But she will get that label as my family doesn't know about my first marriage.

"I got gifts for you..." I whispered softly as Chaaya looked up at me and the gifts bags sitting next to my feet. Not a tinge of excitement seen on her face as she sighed and looked away. I sighed as I rubbed her arm before grabbed the gift bags and taking out a set of dolls and puzzles for her.

"You wanted all of these new toys right? Look, I personally got them for you...Hm?" I said trying to smile and bring a little cheer to her sadness as she looked at me. Her hands lossely holding on to the toys as she sighed in disappointment. Her lips dropping into a pout as she appeared to hold back tears.

"But I don't want these papa. I don't want gifts!" Her sudden statement taking me aback as she suddenly began to cry. Her emotions, that she had held up, getting the best of her as she began to cry. Her arms immediately dropping the toys as she wrapped her arms around me.

My heart beginning to pound as I didn't know what to say or how to react, but only becoming vulnerable to her tears. I cannot bear to see her cry like this.

"Sweetheart...what's wrong?" My voice tender and low as I looked at her. She whimpered as she tugged on my arm looking at me.

"Papa...I want...my mommy!...I want her! Everyone has a mom! All the kids in the park do! Those kids in the park make fun of me and ask me where my mommy is! I want mommy! I want one too!" She suddenly began to cry all over again as a tears continued to stream down her cheeks. I felt tears filling up in my eyes as I could not bear to see her in such condition...heartbroken with no end in sight to the pain of not having a mother. Chaaya, I want to give you the world, but I cannot do anything in this situation.

"Dear...please understand...Your mom loves you, but her job cannot let her come..."I argued as Chaaya shook her head back and forth.

"But I want her! She is mine! I want her!" She began to argue and for the first time showed stubbornness that she hadn't shown before.

"I don't even know how she looks like! I want to see her!" She screamed as she began hitting her fists against the pillows.

"Please calm down meri jaan...Please..." I pulled her closely against me as she continued to cry. Her rosy cheeks turning a deeper shade of red as she appeared to cry her heart out.

"Meri jaan...please listen to me..." I sighed as Chaaya screamed as she continued to cry.

My hand instantly going to my phone as I realized what might just fan down the situation that had dramatically risen due to Chaaya's demands. My hand trembling as I quickly opened my phone. My mind telling me it's wrong, but my heart telling me that I had to do it for Chaaya and give her hope even though it may be false.

"Beta listen...look what I have? You want to see your mommy?" I questioned as Chaaya continued to cry, but somehow silencing herself as she immediately looked at me confused. I slightly smiled as I turned the phone towards her. Her hazel eyes widening as she looked at the photo in front of her. Her small hands wrapping around my phone as she looked at it.

Peace. Calmness. All appeared to envelope Chaaya tightly as tears ran in silence down her cheeks. Her eyes staying still on the photo as she appeared to admire the person in front of her. Confusion washing away as pure admiration and love for her mother appeared across her face. A soft smile appearing on her face as she looked up at me.

"Is this mommy?" She questioned as she looked at the photo of Anika and I smiling together as well looked at the camera during the photoshoot for the charity fashion show.

I smiled as I looked at her innocence. Indeed, children are so innocent and unaware of the world's negativites and happenings. I could tell by looking at her eyes how happy she upon seeing her mother. Her eyes reflect pure love she has for Anika.

"Mommy is so pretty! This is my mommy! She's just like me!" She screamed as she started giggling as I pulled her into a tight hug.

"I want her now! I want to see her!" She urged as she tugged my arm.

"I know, but please understand...She is very busy right now, but she will come..." I stopped myself as I realized I had just given her false hope. I don't want to give her false hope, but her state of sadness is something I cannot bear. Chaaya is my daughter and my world and I cannot see her like this.

"When?" Chaaya questioned as she looked at the photo.

"I don't know, but...she will come..." I sighed as I felt it painful to lie to her, but I had to for her happiness.

Chaaya sighed as she placed her hand on the picture and admired Anika.

"I love you mommy...please come home...I want to meet you..." Chaaya's words instantly breaking down my heart as I realized the pure innocence she held. She never met her mother, but still held love for her and believed she will come home one day to her...

"You both look very nice together. You both look perfect!" Chaaya exclaimed as she smiled brightly and looked at me and back at the photo of me and Anika. Indeed, I had somehow diverted her thoughts and I know this would only last for a few days before the questions would come back again, but at least she is calm for now after seeing her mother.

I slightly smiled as I looked back at the photo of both of us. Genuine smiles apparent across our faces as we stood next to each other without any acknowledgement of a bitter and toxic past. If only we all could come back and be one family like before...if only I had been man enough to realize what a gem I had and how wrong I was to break such a gem and lose such love...if only now I could fight for my love...

My phone suddenly ringing as I realized it was Om. Chaaya looking at the phone in confusion as I quickly took it from her hands and helped her sit up on the sofa.

"Um...Chaaya, you watch your cartoons alright? I will be back ok?" I noted as Chaaya smiled and nodded in agreement.

"What do you want Om?" My voice having an edge of roughness to it as I walked into the hallway.

"Hey! Why so cold?!" Om exclaimed on the other line as I rolled my eyes slightly annoyed.

"Look, if you are inviting me to go clubbing with you and everyone else then not happening alright?" I snapped back as Om chuckled.

"But why? Liven up for once! It will be nice to hang out with your family for once!"

"It's all couples and I don't want to be the third wheel amongst all of you!" I argued as Om sighed.

"Well Armaan is coming alone, so I think you will be fine!" Om argued as I scoffed. Great, of course, I would love to see Armaan. How is it that no one get's the point that Armaan and I do not get along? We never have and never will.

"Come on Shivaay. Just come along will you! Let's spend time as family please!" Om argued as I sighed realizing Om was not going to give up. Om had been pleading that I should come with him for a few days and clearly he is not budging.

Well, I guess I could go. It's been a while since I have lived up a little and perhaps I do deserve some relaxation. Plus, I haven't really spent time with everyone and I haven't even talked to Priyanka about how her new life is going after marriage.

"Fine...I will hang out for a couple of drinks and leave alright?" I noted as Om chuckled.

"Fine. Come home soon then and then we will all go together ok?" Om said as I agreed and hung up the phone.

I should try to forget Anika and move on now. It's better I now focus on moving back to the life I had before Anika came. It's better I relax now, try to calm myself down, and focus on Chaaya and her future. I don't have anyone besides Chaaya and it's best I focus on bettering her future and giving her a financially secure future. It's best to let go of Anika...or at least try to.

Anika's Point of View

Slipping my feet into the pair of black high heels I had, I looked back at the mirror barely able to recognize myself. The black pencil skirt finding itself slipping up my knees as I attempted to pull it down. My conservative self cursing me and telling me how stupid it was for me to decide to wear a skirt tonight. I looked at the black crop top I wore as I attempted to pull it down trying to hide the dash of skin I showed around my waist. I sighed as I lightened the maroon colored lipstick from my lips and placed my hair behind my back feeling damn uncomfortable in what I was wearing.

"You look quite...in the mood to party tonight," Mom remarked as she looked at me up and down.

I sighed as I placed a blazer on and wrapped it around myself. Of course, mom would find issues with my choice of clothing considering she is conservative in nature. Indeed, her conservativeness have rubbed on to me as I do find myself uncomfortable in what I am wearing, but what can I say. I mean it's a club and I should definitely try to walk out of my comfort zone if I am taking this thing of letting my past go seriously. I remember how Shivaay hated it when I wore these type of clothes and judged me upon it, so I do find myself being rebellious tonight and challenging him despite him not even being present.

"Well...it's a club mom. I mean my dressing sense could have gotten more revealing," I said smiling as I grabbed a clutch purse from the kitchen counter and looked at myself once more in the mirror.

Mom sighed as she shook her head back and forth. "You're going with Armaan and everyone else from the Oberoi family which is why I am letting you go like this because I trust them, but next time be more careful in what you wear ok?"

Mom looked at me sternly as I looked at her quite confused by her statement. What does she mean by this statement? These days mom has been behaving a little different. She appears to be more comfortable with the idea that Armaan is courting me and that is odd considering how conservative she is. It is as if she knows something that I don't which is allowing her to behave in such manner.

Hearing a loud honk, I realized it was likely Armaan as I quickly looked at myself in the mirror once more before waving at mom.

"Ok I will see you later alright?!" I yelled as Mom rolled her eyes.

"Come home before midnight please!" She yelled back as I shook my head and closed the door.

Skipping down the steps, I smiled as I noticed Armaan waiting patiently in his car. As I made my way down towards him, he appeared to look up and down at me before smiling widely. His gaze definitely making me feel more shy as I lowered my gaze. These days he is somewhat getting to me, affecting me, and making me want to be beautiful for him...is it wrong of me to do so? Is it wrong of me to want his attention? This is question that tends to linger in my mind constantly.

"Looking quite beautiful tonight." Armaan winked at me as I put on my seatbelt shyly. I smiled as I looked at him and seemingly admired his gray colored shirt that went along with a black leather jacket.

"You look quite dapper as well," I noted as he chuckled and hit the gas on the car.

"You know...we can ditch everyone else as I am also willing to spend some time alone with you..." Armaan teased as my cheeks turned red as I placed my hand on his arm.

I could go for some time alone as we have been finding our dates in local cafes, restauraunts, and movie theaters, but tonight I want to also hang out with others as well. I haven't seen Priyanka in quite a long time and it would be nice to catch up with her.

My eyes followed back to Armaan as I found myself admiring him. Every day, I am finding myself getting more and more attracted to Armaan. Attracted to his kindness...his charming personality...and how he cares for me and finds ways to give me comfort. Most of all he is being patient with me. I mean considering how many dates we have gone to, he still hasn't kissed me and gives me space when I need it. Indeed at this moment, I only want to see where this relationship goes. I don't want to nosedive into a relationship with blindfolds on like I did last time...with Shivaay.

Moreover, I don't know something feels off still. I feel like fate cannot be this good to me suddenly...as if something is wrong.

I just cannot find myself moving further with him as Shivaay and my past lingers in the back of my mind. A past that is somehow connected to Armaan considering he is Shivaay's cousin and how technically I was Shivaay's first wife. Sometimes, I do develop an urge to tell Armaan everything, but then for some reason I cannot gather enough courage to confess the truth. I am scared...scared what he will think and whether he will tell others? Scared what chaos may come in my life. Maybe when the right time comes, I will tell him.

"You know you look beautiful tonight Anika. Truly I am impressed by your choice of wardrobe for tonight. I honestly didn't expect you to wear something like this tonight?" Armaan chuckled as I lightly hit his shoulder.

"Oh really?!" I teased as I laughed and fixed my black tassel shaped earrings.

"Are you all dressed up for me?"

My cheeks instantly turning red as I avoided his gaze trying to pretend I wasn't dressed to impress him, but somewhere I was. I don't know why, but I wanted to catch his attention tonight.

"Can we just focus on driving please?" I commanded as Armaan changed lanes. I smiled as I looked out the window watching the hills pass by. Somehow finding peace and calmness as I took a deep breath.

As I admired the scenery, my eyes fell upon a sign that said "Golden Gate Bridge in twenty miles". In an instant, my heart beginning to beat loudly against my chest as it drummed up and down. My breaths catching hold of me and clutching tightly to my neck as I felt a rush of chills initiate goosebumps across my skin. My hands beginning to tremble as I clasped them together realizing where I was about to go past. A place where it all began...his game...His game that forever scarred a heart that could not be healed any longer. Memories flooding back upon realization where we were headed...memories that were too painful to be relived again...Memories of his game...

Flashback

https://youtu.be/-wc1tiPGKqM

"Tell me where are we headed?" I questioned as I lightly smiled and wrapped my hand around his arm. A small smile playing on the tips of his lips as he held on to the steering wheel tightly and hit the gas. His corvette making a loud drumming sound as my heart quickly beated out of my chest as I let out a small scream.

"Please don't speed!" I screamed as he chuckled and entwined his hand into mines' before brushing his lips against my hand. My heart skipping a beat upon the touch of his lips as a set of goosebumps ran across the side of my arms.

"As long as you are with me Anika, you are safe and sound." His words instantly wrapping around my heart in an attempt to tell it that it was safe and sound. His words healing the scars he himself had given.

"I trust you Shivaay..." I whispered as he looked back at me silently. His eyes hidden by the pair of sunglasses he wore as he appeared to purse his lips together. I thought he would say something, but he didn't as he looked back and continued to drive.

It had been a month since I had decided to give Shivaay another chance after the night he had spent in the rain outside my apartment. His words seemingly charming me that night and telling me I should give him another chance after I had found out how he had pretended to date me and be in love with me to only breakup with me for a stupid bet. I was stills lightly angry over how he had decided to bet on my heart due to the fact that he thought I made him lose funding for his research project that day in the café after we argued over an insurance claim we filed due to our car accident. However, somehow Shivaay's love was getting to me.

After that night in the apartment, he appears to have changed and become more loving towards me. We're always together and always spending time with another to the point we decided to even spend time back in California for the beginning of summer break from medical school. I enjoy Shivaay's company and most of all I find pleasure in the affection he endows upon me. Pleasure in the idea of being wanted by someone. Pleasure in his soft, tender touch against my skin. Pleasure in the comfort he gives. I find that love in him that I never found in my parents...Don't get me wrong.

My parents do love me, but somehow it has been a confining love. A love of trade as in if I follow the rules and stay close to the values they have given me then I will get their love. However, Shivaay's love isn't a trade. He loves you without any expectations in return and loves you with your heart which is why I find comfort in his company. For me love is found in gestures of how someone behaves and the way Shivaay cares for me, adores me, and keeps me in the center of his attention has gotten to me and told me that he loves me. I cannot spend a minute without him now and I don't see a future without him in it. I somehow love him to an extent that now he has become the center of my world and that I want to love him endlessly the way he loves me.

"I love spending time with you. I am glad you decided to spend your first summer break from medical school with me," Shivaay spoke tenderly as I smiled and placed my lips against the end of his shoulder as I kissed it.

"Now where are we going in such nice clothes?" I questioned curiously as I ran my hand over the peach-red chiffon dress I wore. The high neck dress clearly too formal for me as I pulled it down my knees as it flowed down my legs.

"How many times do I tell you to not wear something if you are not comfortable in it?" Shivaay diverted the topic as he raised his eyebrow looking back at me. I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow at him.

"Well...I thought you would like me like this. I wanted to dress for you..." I spoke softly as I felt shyness erupt inside of me. I felt Shivaay's gaze move slowly towards me as his hand traced the edges of my fingertips.

"You are already dressed for me Anika...dressed with your beautiful soul...You don't need these clothes to attest to the love you have for me. Wake up every morning and keep that beautiful soul of yours' and that is enough for me." My eyes instantly latched on to his as he smiled. His words bringing an unusual sense of confidence to me as they told me how I didn't have to be someone for the world, but be the person that I want to be. Something rarely every said to me by those I have known.

"I love you..." My eyes widening as the words slipped out of my mouth. My fingertips instantly grazing against my lips as I was quite taken aback by the words that had slipped out of me. I hadn't said those words ever since I had given him a second chance. But, somehow these words slipped out today after a month of testing him and finding how he loved me. Feeling instantly shy, I slipped my hand away from his and looked away out the window realizing we were driving on the Golden Gate Bridge.

"I love you too Anika..." His words drumming my heart as a small smile appeared across my lips. I laid my head against the seat as I continued to smile like a fool and admired the beautiful night as it overcame the light of the sun that was setting down just like Shivaay and my animosities had ended and now only love was once again present in it.

"Won't you shine that smile at me?" He questioned as I giggled at his cheesiness as he grabbed my hand kissing it once more.

Making a swift turn off the road, he drove the car into the small parking lot that looked out towards the bay. I looked at him slightly confused trying to understand his intentions as he smiled and looked back at me.

"Come on. Let's enjoy the view for a moment hm?" He noted as he turned off the car's ignition and got out.

What's going on? Shivaay and views? Last thing I know, he is not really into the concept of nature and watching sceneries. I looked at him confused as he opened the door for me, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. The moonlight falling on to him and enhancing his features as his blue eyes shined in the light indicating their purity. His black blazer flying back against the white collared shirt he wore. Pure lust waking inside of me as I found myself attracted to the physical beauty he held. I broke the thought as he dragged me on to my feet.

"The view and you? You hate the concept of watching nature and enjoying it!" I giggled as he lightly chuckled and pulled me closer against him.

"Well, tonight I want to enjoy the view with you. If you are here then the idea of watching views appears more interesting and appealing to me," Shivaay noted as I shook my head back and forth looking back at him.

"And why is that?" I asked innocently as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Because while you are busy looking at the beautiful sceneries, I will be watching you and look at the beautiful view in front of me," He said as I felt my cheeks burning as they became affected by his flirtous statements.

"Stop it!" I yelled back at him as he chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder pulling me into his chest. The warmth of his body comforting me as the winds picked up and pushed against us. My hair continuing to fly up in the air as I immediately began to regret how I had left it opened for tonight.

Strangely, no one was out today to observe the Bay and San Francisco from the visitor area at Golden Gate Bridge. Perhaps, it's quite windy tonight which might not have been agreeable with the visitors.

I smiled as I leaned against the cement fence looking out towards the beautiful bay in front of me as the moonlight fell upon it. The ocean breeze bringing an unusual sense of comfort and peace and calmness to me as I breathed it in closing my eyes shut. I breathed in the bay's beauty as I relaxed my body against the fence. Indeed, I found peace in the silence as it offered an escape from the hustle and bustle of life. I kept my eyes shut only to feel a small feathery touch against my cheek as his lips brushed past it. My eyes widening as I looked at him quite shocked from his audacity as he chuckled and gave me a teasing smile leaning back against the fence as he entwined his hand into mines'.

"Now don't look at me like that. I was enjoying the view and somehow developed a desire to devour myself in it...touch it...make it mine..." His voice having a tinge of roughness as it was low and husky. My heart skipping beats as I looked at him finding myself unknowingly admiring him and the moment we were in.

Both of us standing on near the edges of the sea on the Golden Gate Bridge as its lights shined above us. The moonlight touching both of us as it appeared to bless us seen in how it didn't pull away once. The wind touching our souls and pushing us closer to one another in an attempt to bring two souls together. Somehow nature was succeeding and so was fate in bringing us closer to one another as we forgot the beauty of everything and looked only at one another, admiring each other even the flaws...

My eyes stood still as I looked at him admiring him and his love for me. Beyond the physical attraction I found in him, I found myself being pulled towards the love he portrayed through gestures that attempted to touch my heart. In this moment I know I love him and always had. Love the way he made me happy without asking anything for return. Love for how he worked on my strengths and made me a stronger person. Love him for how he brought comfort that now I see my home and my life in only him.

A soft smile appeared across his face as he took a step closer towards me. I stood still not taking a step away as I felt my breaths get heavy as he closed the gap between us. My eyes staying still in his as I attempted to understand what he was going on in his mind. His hands slowly wrapping near the ends of my neck as a sudden shiver went down my spine. The edges of his fingertips brushing tenderly near the back of my neck as he pulled me closer towards him.

"Anika...I am not a man who is good at expressing emotions. I was not...raised to express emotions or put concern to them. I was not taught what love is...or its importance in this materialistic world full of greed and selfishness. No one taught me that love is one of those things that is still selfless and something that...that one rarely get's...but love is like a hidden gem and once someone get's it then they find peace to their destruction..." He paused as I felt tears slowly filling up in my eyes upon realizing how broken he was. His eyes reflecting an unknown pain that he didn't want others to find inside of him. His words stringing the drums of my heart as I felt the honesty of them reflect on to me.

The warmth of hands heating up my skin beneath it as my heart continued to drum up and down increasing its pace. My eyes lowering as his gaze full of love and passion brought a veil of shyness upon me. His fingers tips slowly lifting the back of my neck as I looked up at him matching my gaze with his. "But...Anika...you taught me how to love...how to love someone without asking anything in return. You showed me this hidden gem called love...I cannot find the words to express on how much you mean to me...how much your love means to me Anika. All my life, I was walking deserts of destruction where greed and selfishness followed me, but you...you brought that urn of water and quenched my thirst with your love..."

At this point tears began to run down my cheeks as his words had instantly broken down any remaining anger or frustration I had towards him. Love for me clearly seen in his eyes as I looked into them. His words initiating and touching my unspoken love for him that is full of passion which I haven't expressed yet.

I smiled as Shivaay wiped my tears away from my cheeks tenderly as he bit his lip looking at me with a tinge of hope. He sighed as he placed his hands on my cheeks as he inched closer towards me."Anika, despite how cruel I had been to you because of thorns of ego and greed I held, you still didn't let go of me and walked on those thorns with me and for me...You made me realize money is nothing in front of love...that love is something that one cannot lose ever....Anika you make me want to live a life of happiness....I love you Anika. I love you so much. I love you-" Without letting him finish, I grabbed his neck smashing my lips against his catching him by surprise. His words initiating a passionate spark inside of me full of love and admiration for him...full of passion and the need to make him mine. His words reminding me of the rough path we had walked upon and how finally we were reaching the end of such path of thorns and the beginning of a path to pure love. His love making me selfless to him and his desires, but also selfish in only being the one who could have him and keep him.

A small moan escaping from his lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss devouring each and every inch of his lips. His hands in an instant wrapping around my waist as he pulled me against his chest. His lips slipping away from mines' for small breaths as they returned and brought sweet pleasure for me to devour upon. My teeth biting on to the edges of his lips as he chuckled and pressed his body against mine. The moment perfect in every sense as the beautiful breeze passed us and enveloped us as the moonlight fell upon us and touched our love for one another.

"Anika...I...love you so much and there...is...more...I want to say..."He whispered in between kisses. Curiosity getting the best of me as I stopped slipping my lips away from his as I looked at him. My hand laying on his cheek as I pulled his face closer to mines'.

"Love me now and love me forever. Be mine, so I can be yours'. Anika...you taught me the meaning of relationships. You taught me that relationships are something of worthiness and something that one should always strive to strengthen in life. You have now become a part of me Anika that now I cannot separate myself from. I have this passion and desire inside of my heart to make you mine...to strengthen our bond...I love you Anika and this love is pushing me to want you in my sight each and every day and pushing me to make you my soulmate...Anika I want you to be part of my life forever and always and I want us to be stronger...Anika, will you marry me?"

My eyes widening in shock as I heard those magical three words slip out of his mouth. Marriage? He wants to marry me? I looked up at him as he looked at me with hopeful eyes as he pulled out a velvet colored box from his pocket. My hands immediately jumping to my mouth as I looked at him shocked.

Marry him and become his soulmate forever and always? I looked at him into his eyes seeing his love for me for the first time. His eyes clearly reflecting his soul as I could tell his desire to marry me. But, do I want to marry him? I reflected as I realized how much he deserved to be my soulmate. He has always supported me, given me strength and confidence in myself, and most importantly loves me selflessly. I could tell that each and everyday his love for me increases seen in how he has grown from a man who gave minimal affection to one who endows me with love without asking anything for return. I want this love that I have never gotten and if I see it in him then I want him to be my husband.

"Marry me Anika. Make me yours' for eternity..." His voice tender and soft as he looked at me with hope. His eyes reflecting a need for us to be together and his desire to make me his. Placing my hand tenderly on to his cheek, I grazed my fingertips across it as I pulled his face closer to mines'.

"You are my soulmate Shivaay. I have never met a man like you ever. Your love has made me selfish in the sense that I only want you to be mine and no one else's. Your love has made me selfless as I want to do everything to make you feel loved. Marriage is the step to completing one another, appreciate one's strengths and flaws, and become a part of one another as soulmates. I want you for eternity and I will marry you. So, yes, I will marry you and make you mine..." A wide smile appearing across our faces as he grabbed my cheeks before placing a tender kiss on my forehead as if to mark me as his. His hand sliding down my shoulder as butterflies flew into my heart and made it flutter.

His hand opening the small velvet box as my eyes caught on to the circular shaped diamond ring that was placed on a band with further small diamonds encircling it.

"You didn't have to buy me a ring. It's looks quite expensive and you shouldn't have Shivaay..." I whispered as Shivaay slightly smiled as he took out the ring from the box and held in the palmof his hand.

"This ring is worthless in front of the value you hold for me Anika. I bought this ring to signify the beginning of a new relationship and so if I have the honor, may I?" He questioned as I gave him a shy smile before placing my hand forward for him to take.

The tips of his fingers slid down the cold diamond down my finger. The ring initiating the beginning of a bond as I felt it initiate its strength the minute it slid onto my finger. The threads of our love strengthening with the promise the ring signified...a promise to be soulmates and be one another's for eternity.

"We're getting married! I cannot believe you said yes!" A wide smile appearing across Shivaay's smile as he appeared to have become intoxicated with pure happiness and glee. I giggled as I fell short of words to say as pure joy and happiness made their way to both of us.

Without another word, he grabbed my waist pulling me up in the arms as I screamed quite surprised. He began to swing me around as I laughed and held on to him tightly. Love intoxicating our minds and putting us in a daze as we wrapped the night around our fingers and made it ours'. The moon dancing along with our joy as the stars shined upon us and our love for one another.

"Let go Shivaay! Please!" I screamed as I was kind of enjoying be held by him as he swung me around in glee and joy. Pure happiness seen across his face that was rarely seen as he laughed and held me up.

"I love you Mrs. Oberoi!" He yelled loudly as my eyes widened upon hearing the new title that was about to soon become part of my identity...a title that would let everyone know that he was mine. My heart skipping a beat upon the thought of the bond we were soon about to become part of.

"We're getting married! I cannot believe this is happening Anika!I love you!" He continued to yell as I laughed wrapping my arms tightly around his shoulders.

"I love you so much Shivaay. More than anything I love you," I replied as Shivaay smiled and he looked down at me with a sense of pride...pride on the pure love we had for one another. Grabbing his face, I placed a small kiss on his lips as he smiled and deepened the kiss. My body sliding down against his as he let go of my legs and placed me down.

The tender touch of his hand sliding down my arms and snaking their way around my waist as he pulled me closer against his body. The edges of his waist moving up and down against mine as his eyes remained lowered on to my lips. I felt myself blush as my breaths appeared to quicken their face as he leaned his face closer towards mines'.

"I love you Anika," He whispered as his lips were an inch away from mines'. I smiled softly as he took a step closer closing the gap between our lips as he softly laid his lips on to mines' catching me with surprise by their tenderness. His hands sliding up and down my waist my as he pulled me closely towards him. His lips tasting sweet as nectar as I took their sweetness in inch by inch. Deepening the kiss, he ran his hands through my hair slightly instigating pleasure as I responded and pulled him closely towards me.

Not saying another word, we let out lips speak. His hands slipping around my waist as I felt him dip me down on an angle as we leaned down. I giggled as I let go of his lips, wrapping my arms around him as he leaned forward as he dipped me down towards the ground.

"I love you Shivaay...I love you so much more than the world..." I whispered as my words drummed up his smile before he pulled me into another passionate kiss intoxicating me with love once more. His kiss setting off sparks inside of me as it wrapped me around his finger. His kiss speaking pure love to me and confining me in his love...making me vulnerable to it...And I became vulnerable...vulnerable to his love because it filled in the wounds of being unloved that I had for years. He made me feel wanted, desired, and loved and that is how he won my heart...

Present

Vulnerability. It's inherent and once one taps into it and drinks it like a potion then they embrace vulnerability just like I did and still do. Shivaay touched my vulnerabilities...vulnerabilities in not being able to love myself...vulnerabilities in having a family where I felt unloved....the feeling of being unloved was what he touched and that is why I fell in love with him because he was the first who expressed pure love for me...with gestures and affection....The day he proposed me was the day I had ever felt the most joy and happiness. It felt like a dream...a dream that I didn't want to wake up from...a dream in which it was only Shivaay and me...only both of us and our love and no one else in between.

My eyes fell upon the Golden Gate Bridge as we drove our way on to it. This was where it began. Where the lies and deceits of Shivaay Singh Oberoi began and where my downfall began. I was such a fool to believe he would want me to be his wife....a fool to think he saw me as his wife. His charming words trapped me and intoxicated me with lies that I thought was love. His words trapping me to a point that I became entangled in his trap and agreed to marry him. Why did I agree?...Because I believed in the idea of marriage...believed in its strength and knew that such a bond is only for those with a pure love for one another which I thought we had. I thought marriage would strengthen, complete us, and merge our souls into one another...How wrong was I? How wrong was to even think so?

"Anika! Anika!" His words suddenly crashing my thoughts as I jumped back in my seat as I immediately looked back at Armaan. He looked back at me concerned as he placed his hand over my trembling hands.

"You ok? You look quite worried and stressed. I mean your hands are shaking..." Armaan noted as I slipped my hands away from his clasping them against one another. Plastering a fake smile on my face, I looked at him pretending that I was ok, but I was not.

"Um...yes...I feel just a bit cold. That is all. The weather is changing and so that's why..." I felt my voice shake as I felt I was relieving that night all over again as we made our way down the bridge.

"So, I am going to get off at the visitor's area right now to meet up with everyone else. Actually, Om knows where the nightclub is since it's been quite long I have been here in San Francisco. I mean after all, Texas has been my home state for quite long," Armaan noted as he chuckled as I smiled trying to go along with his idea that I was ok.

He drove the car off into the visitor's area as my eyes fell upon the area in front of us. My eyes widening as they fell upon the same location where Shivaay had proposed to me...where I had built dreams of our future...of our married life. A tear making its way down my cheeks taking me surprise as I realized I had been holding back tears...tears of the loss of a relationship that was the closest to my heart. I bit my lip as I looked out the window trying to hide my tears from Armaan. It had been days since I had remeniced old memories of Shivaay and I since he let me go that night of Karva Chauth. Even though he has once again walked out of my life without a trace, he is still here in my thoughts and memories that I seemingly cannot let go of.

"Come on let's go..." Armaan noted happily as I smiled weakly before wiping my tears away.

Getting out of the car, I looked out noticing Priyanka standing in the distance with other members of her family. My eyes appearing to look over them as they appeared to dart back and forth and get the details of their faces in the darkness of the night. Somewhere searching for him...Shivaay. I don't know why, but I feel as if I might see him tonight. It's an unexpected feeling, but it is lingering and I cannot seem to shake it off.

"You're looking amazing tonight Anika. I truly am a lucky man," Armaan noted smiling as he wrapped his hand into mines'. I slightly smiled as I found myself not being affected by his compliment like I had been moments before. Somehow old memories were beginning to take hold of my mind as I looked back towards the same location near the edge of the sea reminding myself of that beautiful night I shared with Shivaay. Even though that night was a farsce for Shivaay, it wasn't for me...it was the most beautiful night of my life. My heart beginning to pound against my chest as I noticed a young couple taking pictures together at the exact location, a reminder of how Shivaay and I were once a couple and had took pictures that fateful night as well.

"Hi everyone!" Armaan called out as I suddenly looked back realizing we had walked up to his family who appeared to look at Alcatraz Island through the telescopes. The darkness moving away from their faces as they turned back towards us.

My feet stopping in their tracks as I realized who it was. My body standing still in place as my feet remained planted to the ground. Heartbeats increasing as my breaths quickened their pace upon seeing him. The uncanny, lingering tension my soul had for the last few weeks immediately releasing itself as it found peace upon laying its eyes on him...Shivaay. My hands beginning to tremble as I felt a tear slip down my cheeks. Unexplainable tears from seeing after so long...perhaps my vulnerability that his mere presence could touch.

"Shivaay..." His name rolling out as whisper from my tongue as my hand slipped away from Armaan's. I took a step towards him as he stood in silence in front of me. At that moment, I don't know why, but he became the focus of my attention...my attention immediately going towards him without a care of where we were or in front of whom. I don't know what it was. But, something was pulling me towards him...He had left me years ago before and I had tried to be strong, but then why is it that now he just left me for a few days and I am so vulnerable...vulnerable to the idea of him being out of my sight and away from me?

Shivaay's Point of View

https://youtu.be/hMy5za-m5Ew

My heart immediately breaking and falling as she took a step towards me with her lover. She has a lover now...a lover.

My soul twisting and turning as a range of emotions thundered upon it. A sense of unexplainable joy after seeing her after days...fulfillment and peace by being in her presence. Her soul's beauty catching my attention more than the physical beauty she emitted tonight. However, beyond the joy, a bitter mix of toxic disgust engulfed me and clutched on to my heart upon seeing her with her lover...Has she forgotten me so fast? Forgotten me and the love we shared...the love she had for me...Did she forget it so soon? How can she forget me? Even after laying her tender touches on me many nights before...how can she forget me? Forget that unknown and untouched relationship we unknowingly formed that night?

My eyes falling on to their closeness as Armaan took a step closer next to Anika, grabbing her hand and entwining it into his once more. Disgust enveloping me, teasing me, and taunting me as I saw him pull her closely against his body. Her eyes laying still on me as she appeared at a loss...unaware of the stranger's touch on her body as she continued to keep me in her sight.

Clenching my jaw, I tried to swallow disgust as I saw Armaan smiling as he greeted everyone with her by her side.

"How is everyone? Sorry, I didn't let you all know Anika was coming, but I wanted to give a surprise. Um...actually Anika and I are...dating and courting one another..." My eyes widening as his words pierced me as thorns slipping and deepening their impact into my heart. My eyes immediately going back at Anika as she had lowered her gaze not once looking up at me.

Look up Anika. Look up at me now...what is there to be shy after the disgusting act you have done? Is your hate so deep for me that you decided to bind yourself to my own cousin and endow such love upon him? Do you love him Anika? Do you?

"Wow...that is amazing! Congratulations Anika!" Priyanka exclaimed breaking my thoughts as she excitedly hugged Anika with Gauri following her steps and congratulating her.

"That's nice Armaan...Really, I didn't think that you two were together. Since when?" Om questioned curiously as he looked at him.

"Well...I pursued her during Priyanka's wedding...Remember I asked for her number Priyanka?" Armaan said with that fake, wide smile on his face that I detested to the core.

Priyanka laughed as she grabbed on to Anika's arm pulling her gaze away from me as she looked back at Priyanka smiling. Smile Anika...oh smile baby...of course you would love this moment...this moment of showing your high pride and gloat from putting me down and throwing me away like a piece of trash...of course you would find fulfillment in knowing how much I would hate it...hate seeing you with that goat.

"Hi Shivaay...Didn't think you would be here..."Armaan noted turning towards me that awful smirk on his face that I just wanted to slap away in an instant. His eyes seemingly teasing as if he was taunting me as he pulled Anika closer towards him.

"I didn't think Anika would be here, but she's here then so am I..." My words immediately piercing that smile as it dropped in an instant. Anika's eyes an instant shooting up towards me as I slightly smiled looking at her. Somewhere I could see guilt in those eyes as they moved up and down trying to avoid me, but somehow returning back to me.

"What do you mean?" Armaan's voice a tinge of anger as he looked at me with a questioning look. I smiled as Om placed his hand on my arm telling me to not further instigate the situation.

"Fate Armaan. Fate is so unusual that somehow both of us end up in the same place at the same time without any planning...I was just joking. I hope Anika you are not offended right?" My voice catching her attention as he looked up at me. It had been days since I had called out to her and now seeing her with Armaan has increased this urge inside of me to call out to her and bring her closer towards me...I have let her go and letting go means allowing her to move on, but now seeing her with him is making me regret everything I did...regret letting her go.

If only it was you and me right now Anika...only both of us like that night of the proposal. My eyes wandering back to the location behind her where I had proposed to her...Where I had won her heart and made her mine...I haven't forgotten. Just standing here is painful as it reminds me of memories and mistakes I made in losing the woman I love the most in the world...Have you forgotten Anika? Have you forgotten what significance this place holds?

"No..." Her word catching my attention as I instantly looked at her. My gaze catching on to tears she appeared to hold back in her eyes as she appeared to slip her hand away from Armaan's before looking back at the Bay that breezed it ways behind us. An instant confusion dawning on to my mind as I looked at her trying to understand what question she was answering, was it the one I thought of if she had forgotten everything?

"Um...no...I don't mind the joke..." Her voice barely cracking its way as she crossed her arms before taking a step away from Armaan.

"Anyways...um...the view is really nice here. We should definitely enjoy it for a few minutes before heading into the city..." Gauri noted as Om agreed.

"Definitely. Here let's take some pictures to show to Luv and Aarav once we go back home." Om grabbed Gauri's hand as they went off for couples photos.

"Priyanka and I will come along," Akash chimed as he grabbed Priyanka's hand and took her with him.

"I am going to go use the restroom," Armaan noted as he walked away leaving only Anika and I in each other's company.

My eyes following back to Anika as she stood in silence looking away from me as she appeared to avoid me. Look at me Anika. Look at me with those eyes that reflect betrayal. Look at me. I clenched my fists tightly as I took a step towards her as she took a step back.

"Don't avoid me. Look at me Anika. Come on...look into my eyes," I commanded in a lowered voice as she bit her lip nervously as she always did. She avoided me as she turned on her heel quickening her pace towards the exact same location where I had proposed to her.

Her demeanor latching on to my rage as I could not tolerate her audacity to show pride while making a mockery of me. Quickening my pace, I ran after her as she continued to walk ahead.

"Don't you dare do that!" I yelled before I grabbed her arm turning her towards me.

"Shivaay please..." She stopped as she appeared at a loss of words. Of course, she would be at a loss of words after what she had done to me. She betrayed me...betrayed me by playing games with me. She played with me. She told me to let her go by faking everything...faking the vows and oaths to get me to leave her because her interests laid elsewhere which was Armaan...How low can she get? How can she dare to betray me in such manner? Did she play this entire game to get back at me?

Anika's Point of View

Guilt and shame reached every inch of my body as I found myself not being able to meet his eyes. I shouldn't be feeling ashamed for deciding to move on with someone else in my life, yet, I am. I cannot even look at Shivaay and I don't know why. I don't why I am not able to look him in the eyes...I feel as if I have betrayed him.

His grip on my arm tightening minute by minute as he pulled me a step closer towards him. Our bodies closer as I felt his intense, piercing gaze upon me. I could feel his rage in the way he stood firm on the ground with his jaw tightening as his grasp further tightened around my arm.

His face nearing towards me as I lowered my head in fear...fear from what he might do. A small shiver going down my spine as I felt his lips an inch away from ears. "Speak Anika. Speak to me and tell me the tales of your new found love and betrayal...betrayal to me," He hissed against my ear as I inched my face away feeling disgust overcome...disgust from what I had done...disgust from taking a decision to be with a man who is my ex-lover's cousin.

Nausea overcoming me as guilt and shame mixed with it as a toxic, bitter mixture. I took a deep breath trying to control my tears. Tears from shame and the person I had become. No matter how much Shivaay has wronged me, I shouldn't have wronged him like this and stooped to his level. I shouldn't have.

"Look at yourself Anika... What have you become? Are you doing this to take revenge from me? To hurt me the way I hurt you?" He questioned as my eyes widened as I looked back at him quite taken aback from his accusation.

"How can you even think that? Why would I take revenge from you? I haven't stooped to your level!" I yelled back as I immediately looked back into his eyes as I knew I was speaking my truth.

His eyes following back to me as he appeared at a loss of words. The wind whistling as I felt it rush against our bodies that stood closely against one another. He bit his lip before looking back at me with a questioning look.

"What was that night Anika? Was I dreaming or what?...Why did you...why did you allow me to touch you...to adore you...to touch your soul if you didn't feel anything for me? If Armaan was the only man on your mind then why give me a chance and allow me to be so close hm? Tell me?" He whispered as his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me against him.

His questions firing up a storm of confusion inside of me as I felt my body weaken in the amount of guilt that was now beginning to overcome me. That night flashing back to me...that happened four weeks ago...His tender touches still remaining on my body...the whole night still remembered by me and kept in my memories...Of course I remember what happened and I still do not know what overcame me that allowed me to bring him so close...to allow our souls do the talking.

"I-I don't know...I don't know...It was lust I believe..." I whispered as I did not have an answer besides labeling that night as lust...pure lust. I fulfilled a physical attraction I had for him that night. My physical attraction for him took over me and led me to commit sin. It was sin. A tear slipping down my cheek as he loosened his grip from my body and pushed me away lightly.

Looking up at him, I found a bitter emotion displayed by Shivaay which I hadn't seen before. His eyes darkened as they failed to reflect a toxic bit of thoughts he may be having at the moment. Pain...perhaps...may be the toxic emotion...But, does he feel pain? Is he capable to being hurt emotionally? He took a few deep breaths before looking back at me. More than anger, I found pain in his eyes as he appeared to hold back unsaid emotions.

"Lust...is that what I am capable to getting from you?...Nothing more than that Anika? Am I not capable of being loved?" My eyes widening as I looked into eyes seeing an awful amount of toxicity in his eyes that was not yet being revealed. His words directly hitting my core and questioning it, teasing it, and pushing it to reflect deeper on my deeds...deeds I did not want to remind myself of...deeds of that night...I bit my lip as I looked into his eyes. My hand slowly reaching to his hand that held on to my arm.

"Loving you?...If you think I never loved you Shivaay then you are wrong...You know how much I loved you. I loved you because I knew...my heart told me that you are capable of being loved. But that was before I found out the truth.Your truth..." I whispered as my hand squeezed his with tears making their way down my eyes. My vision blurring with tears as I looked up at him. He bit his lip as he lowered eyes avoiding my gaze and looked away. The truth hurts, doesn't it Shivaay? You may question others, but somehow you always forget your own deeds...sins you committed.

Squeezing his hand tightly, I took a deep breath trying to control my voice from cracking. Catching his attention, he looked up towards me. "You don't even know how much I am hurting to be standing here in the exact same place where...where everything began...Beginning of our life...our marriage...Shivaay if you think I can forget everything in a second then you are wrong...It's hard to forget, but I am trying...Trying is the best..."My voice barely making it as I digged my fingers into the skin of his hand before taking his hand off my arm.

His arm moving away without life as he appeared to enter a trail of thoughts. His gaze adamantly staying on me as I sighed and wiped my tears before looking away into the Bay and trying to find peace.

The wind picking up as I crossed my arms looking away into the ocean. Just a few years ago...just like a night like this, Shivaay and I were laughing with joy as we were about to welcome a new life with one another...well I was the one who was intoxicated with love and joy while Shivaay was only intoxicated with revenge.

We stood in silence next to each other without saying another word as we observed the sea. There was nothing more to be said. I don't understand. Why is Shivaay questioning me? What is he trying to do? All I know was that our marriage was a one-sided affair and consisted of one-sided love from me. Nothing more, nothing less. Then why is he questioning that night? The Shivaay I know doesn't have emotions, so why would that night affect him? It shouldn't.

But, Anika...he is an egomaniac. The fact you have committed yourself to a relationship with Armaan, who is his cousin, hurts his ego and his pride...Shivaay walks the world like he owns everything and the fact that someone is with a woman who was before loved by him...hurt him...especially if that someone is his relative. I know I am wrong to be in a relationship with Armaan who is Shivaay's cousin, but he is a good man and that should matter more than complexities of a relationship. I want to move on and if Armaan is the man to move on with then I should choose him because that should matter more than thinking about what boundaries I am crossing...Shivaay crossed all boundaries and married Tia...he crossed his boundaries without shame, so I also have a right to cross boundaries and accept what fate gives. If fate repeatedly is showing Armaan to me and bringing him in front of my eyes, then that means fate wants me to move on with him and I will.

"What are you two doing here?!" Armaan's voice crashing our thoughts as we turned back suddenly looking at him.

"Sorry I disturbed both of you guys..."Armaan's voice having a hint of sarcasm as he looked at Shivaay before he grabbed my hand tightly. My hand slightly stinging in pain as I looked at Armaan quite taken aback by the change of demeanor he appeared to have as he looked a bit frustrated.

My eyes moving back to Shivaay as he appeared to look at both of our hands before looking at Armaan. His eyes darkening and removing vulnerabilities as they projected his persona...full of rage and a need to win. A small smirk appearing across his lips as he leaned against the fence before looking at both of us back and forth. "There was nothing to disturb of Armaan...we were just enjoying the view...quite beautiful for two people to watch."

What is he doing? Why did he make such a remark? I looked up at Shivaay quite taken aback from his comment as he smirked and looked at Armaan. Armaan's eyebrows furrowing as he squeezed my hand more tightly.

"You shouldn't have come tonight Shivaay...what are you going to do amongst all such couples?" Armaan remarked crudely as Shivaay bit his lip. I could tell he was trying very hard to control his anger as he continued to bite his lip roughly without an end to it.

"All couples?...Are you sure Armaan?" His voice rough and husky. Never challenge Shivaay...he doesn't like it and he will always win no matter what. His comment rough as it etched upon me and challenged me.

"I am sure Shivaay. We're all couples except you..." The tension slowly building up in the air as I felt a sense of awkwardness between the three of us. Sheer awkwardness considering how our pasts entwined into the present. What is wrong with Shivaay? Why is he playing with words and being toxic? What has gotten into him?

"Hm?...Think about my question more deeply before answering it alright?" Shivaay remarked as he chuckled before looking towards me. His gaze standing still as it appeared to observe the smallest details of my emotions that changed from anger to pure embarrasment upon his question.

"Let's not contemplate more than we shall. How about you take a picture of us alright? A nice reminder of the couple we are." Armaan smiled as he looked towards me. I looked up at him as I plastered a small smile across my face trying to play along, but failing to do so. I don't know why, but I just couldn't bring myself to smile in front of Shivaay and gloat about the fact that I might just be moving on.

Armaan took out his phone before grabbing Shivaay's hand and placing it in his. Shivaay's jaw clenched tightly as he looked back at me. His face reddening as I could tell he was getting angry and reaching peak of his patience. His fist clenching on to the phone tightly as Armaan grabbed my hand and began walking towards the same spot where Shivaay and I had gotten engaged.

My feet slowing down as I felt my legs weaken which became vulnerable to memories that were rushing back to me...memories of a past that was full of joy, expectations, and beautiful dreams that I had weaved with my true love. The wind pushing me back as I turned around looking back at Shivaay. His face solemn as tinges of anger were present across is face. His eyes looking up at me and questioning me. Questioning my character seen in the hint of disgust on his face. Questioning the love I had for him. I could feel his disgust and his doubt on me and my character just by his look.

"Come, let's take a picture here. We will look great with the rest of the golden gate bridge behind us. It will be such a great a view!" Armaan said excitedly as he grabbed my hand pulling me up a few steps and right next to the fence. His hand wrapping around my waist. His touch foreign and feeling peculiar to me as I looked up at him trying to understand what was going in his mind.

Although we have been dating, kit's been mostly just hand holding, but what has gotten to him? Why is he bringing me so close to him without even asking me? I tried to divert the thought as I looked back at Shivaay who appeared furious. His lower lip sticking out as he appeared to clench his jaw tightly with his eyes set on Armaan's hand around my waist. His hand that was not moving an inch away from skin and laid still there.

"Let's go Shivaay! How long is it going to take you to take a picture?" Armaan remarked slyly as he looked at Shivaay. Armaan's expression teasing and appearing taunting to me as he looked back at me and smiled.

Shivaay stood still as he held the phone in front with the camera on looking back at us. His eyes keenly observing each and every movement of ours as Armaan moved his hand slightly up and down my waist while I appeared to awkwardly avoid the fact that he was holding my waist and trying to be intimate. My eyes not willing to look up at Shivaay as somehow I felt disgusted by the type of position I had placed myself in. Disgusted by how I had willingly decided to date my ex-husband's cousin...I think I am wrong. I shouldn't be doing this.

"Anika come on smile!" Armaan remarked as he looked back at me expecting me to plaster a smile on my face. I sighed as I looked at him before trying to widen my mouth and smile as I looked back at the camera with a realization of where I was standing.

I was standing at the exact same spot that I had been years ago on a similar night like this. That night, Shivaay's hand was wrapped around my waist as he whispered sweet nothings to my ear. Tonight, Shivaay is the man holding the camera while another stranger is holding my waist and adoring me. Shivaay is actually the stranger in my life now...a stranger that I knew before, but now I don't. Who would've known that seven years later, Shivaay will be taking a picture of me with a man who I claim to be my boyfriend. That night with Shivaay, I dreamed a beautiful future and tonight that future is truly broken as I realize I am finally moving on with another man with no hope of returning back to my former lover.

I smile a painful smile as I held back tears. Tears from the fact about what I had lost and whom I had lost to fate. At the end, fate led me down this path of heartbreak.

My eyes set on Shivaay as quick flashes of the phone's camera went off on both of us. Armaan and I appearing like the perfect couple as our hair flew back in the air while we stood close with the Golden Gate bridge behind us. Shivaay and I were the perfect couple...so I thought, but now illusions show it's Armaan and I...well that's what other onlookers would think.

Shivaay appeared to hold back deeper emotions as his eyes appeared moist. I couldn't clearly tell what he was thinking or feeling, but somehow I could tell he was hurt. Hurt by seeing me with Armaan. It's apparent in how he continuing to look at me, question me, and then appear to contemplate as he see's another man holding me close. I could tell he might just be in pain...maybe experiencing the same that I did that day when I saw him getting married to Tia. I could sympathize with Shivaay, at least on this matter. But who am I to judge as he might just be putting a mask on to fool me.

"Oh my God! You both look amazing together!" Priyanka exclaimed as she quickly walked up to us.

"I know they do look like a great couple," Gauri noted with a smile.

I tried to smile and hold back the disgust and sadness I felt from what I was doing and being reminded of old memories. Shivaay walking slowly up towards us before handing the phone to Armaan. Gauri and Priyanka immediately jumping to the phone and looking at our pictures while I had not desire to look at them. My eyes set on Shivaay as he stood next to Armaan with his intense gaze still set upon me. Our eyes looking into one another and questioning each other's feelings and questioning what we may have lost and why we lost it...Well, he lost it. Shivaay was the one who gave up on us. I was standing there in our relationship doing everything to save it while he decided to walk away, so Shivaay don't question me tonight and my actions because remember, you walked away first and I was gathering the pieces after you left.

"Well, Anika is the one who is beautiful and if anyone stands next to her then of course they would look good," Armaan noted as Om laughed patting Armaan's back as Shivaay threw him a glare.

"Oh ho, of course our Anika is so pretty," Priyanka teased me as she nudged my elbow as I smiled looking back at her attempting to mingle, but utterly failing at it as my thoughts distracted me.

"Anyways everyone. We should get going right? What's the use of being in SF and not going to a nightclub?" Akash remarked.

"It is better we all go now since we shouldn't miss out all on the fun! Right Shivaay?" Om remarked as he wrapped his arm around Shivaay's shoulder pulling him closer as Shivaay shrugged his arm off nonchalantly before throwing him a glare. Shivaay definitely was not in the mood to be teased or screwed by someone.

"Can we just go now or what?" Shivaay bluntly slashing the question across us with sarcasm before he walked down the steps and began walking towards the parking lot without looking back.

The style of walking showing anger as he took wide steps with fists clenched tightly. He in a moment of frustration, anger, and rage and someone who definitely should not be teased up at the moment. It would be wrong. Wrong to mess with him right now. I know him too well. Whenever he showed this demeanor, I would avoid him and not even say a word before he initiated the conversation. But, why would he be angry now? He shouldn't be. I mean who am I to him? That's what he always says right?

"Shivaay is always in a bad mood. I swear nothing makes that man happy," Akash noted as Armaan and Om chuckled. I rolled my eyes as I looked at the three of them before looking back at Shivaay as he continued to walk alone.

I don't know why, but I have always felt Shivaay is a misunderstood person. There is more to him than what appears. As his wife, I tried to unravel his layer and understand him, but failed to as Shivaay didn't want to open up afterall who was I to him? I was just a woman he wanted to avenge from. But still...I feel there is more to Shivaay than what appears and somehow everyone misunderstands him just like his own family does.

Without saying another word, I began to walk leaving the others behind. Priyanka and Gauri's voice catching my attention as they appeared to yell out for me.

"Anika wait up! We all are also coming!" Priyanka yelled as I sighed in frustration.

I don't know why, but crowds get to me. They always do. I somehow can never cope being in a large group and gain the energy to converse with everyone. I just feel awkward and somehow my mood turns off being in a large group and clearly it was happening right now. I mean I like everyone here, but somehow large groups just get to me.

"Sorry. You know how I am," I remarked as Priyanka smiled catching up with Gauri.

"What do you mean?" Gauri questioned curiously as I faintly smiled trying not to be awkward.

"Large groups get to Anika. It's just that large groups make her feel a little awkward and shy," Priyanka remarked.

"It's ok Anika. I understand. Believe me I was quite the introvert back in the day," Gauri said laughing as I was quite shocked by her statement.

"You don't appear shy or an introvert."

"I know. Well that's what happens once you are an Oberoi. The Oberois force you to talk and socialize because it's part of the image. If you are not part of their image then they retaliate," Gauri's voice suddenly changing as it appeared unusually ominous. Her words catching my attention as I felt slightly confused by her remark. Retaliate? What is she saying? The Oberois don't appear in such manner...but then think about it Anika. Shivaay is one of them and think about how he behaved with you and treated you. Don't you remember how he controlled each and everything thing you did? I bit my lip as the memories relinquished and dabbed on old wounds from the past. Memories making me feel bad for Gauri as I remember how she confessed her struggles with marriage at the carnival a few weeks ago. Indeed, Gauri might be struggling with her identity as the Oberois' daughter-in-law and Om's wife.

"Gauri please don't start now," Priyanka intervened as Gauri rolled her eyes in frustration.

"That's because Priyanka you are too innocent and unaware about your family's true identity. You are just growing up and believe me the day you find out what they are and can be then you will understand where I am coming from."

My eyes widening as Gauri's words not only appeared to give Priyanka a reality check, but also me. Her words suddenly leading me question whether what appears on the surface about Shivaay's family is the truth or not. Does Shivaay's whole family play up a fascade just like he does? Are all of them this manipulative? My mind spinning wheels of different ideas about the Oberois as silence too place amongst the three of us as we made our way to the parking lot.

"Um...let's try to live in the moment for now and forget our sorrows right?" My voice barely breaking the existent tension in the air between Priyanka and Gauri. My words definitely a lie as I rarely lived up to them and lived in the moment, however, I am not the type of live in a dispute and do nothing about it. I know I shouldn't be intervening in their family matter, but at least I should take initiative to stop Priyanka's and Gauri's conflict from further exploding.

"Whatever,"Priyanka's tone having a sense of mockery as I grabbed her arm and gave her a look. Priyanka rolled her eyes and threw Gauri a glare.

I sighed as I noticed Shivaay leaning against a large SUV with a look of annoyance and impatience.

"Hurry up will you all!" Shivaay hollered loudly clearly in a no-nonsense mood. His eyes prying towards me as he clenched his jaw tightly. He was slithering with anger and I could tell he was trying hard to hold on to it tightly, but utterly failing seen in his demeanor.

The thing I have figured out about Shivaay is he is an egomaniac. He loves to take ownership of things and even people. Somehow if someone dares to challenge something he has or even had in the past, he develops an obsession and a desire to do everything possible, but not let the opposition challenge his authority and sense of ownership.

He doesn't care whether I am with Armaan or whoever. His heart doesn't at least. It's his ego and narcissism that is pushing him over the edge, teasing him, and telling him to manipulate me and take me from Armaan because at one point I was his. Of course, he would be hurt considering I gave into him that night, but still moved on with Armaan...his ego is hurt and he only wants to heal it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"Let's go shall we!" He once more hollered as I took a step back. His anger scares me. It always has. The moment his anger pops is the moment my worst fears begin to come to life as his anger get's the best of him.

"Shivaay will you calm down please?" Omkara replied as the rest of the men walked behind us.

"Don't teach me what to do or say alright Om? Remember that I am your older brother alright?" Shivaay's tone showing command as he put on his sunglasses before looking back at me. Somehow his gaze was not being lifted from me and always appeared to return back to me. As if the anger and command he was showing was somehow due to me, but being directed and projected at others'.

Priyanka leaned in towards me as she whispere her curiosity, "Why does Shivaay bhai keep looking at you?"

"I-I don't know...I don't think he is looking at me..."I mumbled as I noticed Shivaay beginning to divulge in small argument with Om about his attitude issues and how late we were going to be to go to the city. His gaze turning sideways as he looked at me.

I lowered my gaze with sheer awkwardness as I realized others may be beginning to notice that unusual tension Shivaay and I held tonight. Why does he make me feel so awkward in public? What is it with him? It's his ego speaking Anika. Don't feed his ego and perhaps he will behave more normally.

"Anika let's get going alright?" Armaan grabbed my hand as we began walking to his car across from Shivaay's SUV.

"See you later Anika!" Priyanka waved as she smiled looking at me. I smiled weakly towards her as I felt Shivaay turn towards me catching my attention. His expression changing as it appeared to dull down with his eyes caught on our hands.

"I don't even know why Shivaay is here tonight. This man doesn't live in peace and allow others peace as well!" Armaan clearly appearing frustrated as he slammed the car's door shut.

Armaan's words slightly annoying me as for some reason I didn't want to hear them. I somehow still don't have a tolerance to hear Shivaay being criticized despite knowing how wrong he can be in certain situations.

I sighed as I out on my seatbelt in silence as Armaan turned on the ignition of the car only to hear the car gurgle. The loud gurgle catching me off guard as I suddenly jumped up looking back at Armaan.

"What is that sound?" I questioned curiously with a hitn of fear.

My biggest fear in life is being in a car that suddenly catches fire due to the engine failing. I know anyone would laugh hearing this big fear of mines', but it is quite real. I remember when I was five and my mom's van began to smoke out in the middle of the freeway, almost catching on fire.

"I don't know." Armaan attempted to press the gas pedal on the car to pick up it's engine's speed which the car failed to do so.

My hands shaking as my anxiety began to kick in once more. I quickly opened my seatbelt and got out of the car.

"Hey what are you doing? What's wrong with you?" Armaan questioned as I shook my head back and forth looking at the car.

Ok, I have a shameful fear of cars and their ability to catch on fire when they do not act normal. It's an ignorant fear that my therapist tells to forget about, but I cannot.

"What's wrong?" Omkara walked up to us as he looked at us confused.

"Well the car is supposedly making odd gurgle sounds," I remarked as I took a step away from the car and crossed my arms.

A loud chuckle catching my attention as I suddenly turned around realizing it was Shivaay. His face reddening as he scoffed and peered at me through his sunglasses. He knew exactly that was going on with me. He of course is the only one who is aware of my fear and of course he would laugh. But, I have a feeling he might be laughing at multiple reasons.

Shivaay began to walk towards us slyly as he looked at Armaan. "Oh ho...your car broke down?" Shivaay's voice teasing as he stood right next to me. He was teasing Armaan, I could clearly read him.

"Well I don't know Shivaay. I think it will turn on," Armaan remarked as he got out of the car.

"Hm? Maybe. But, even if you take the car and it stops on the bridge, you will create a lot of traffic and problems in terms of getting a tow truck. Honestly, I think the car likely has an issue in its' alternator or something. It's better you get it towed. We are wasting a lot of time right now." Shivaay's words were definitely intended to spin the ball in his court. I know him to well. He loves manipulating situations and he definitely is doing it right now with Armaan.

"I think Shivaay is right Armaan. Maybe, you can tow the car right?" Omkara said quite concerned.

"It will take time, but I guess the car is definitely not budging. I will call the tow truck then and get a ride by my driver to the club," Armaan remarked as he appeared upset with the change of plan.

"Yes you do that and Anika will come with me." Shivaay smirked as my eyes widened with realization behind the reasoning of his intended manipulation of the situation. He wants me to go with him, but why? What benefit is he gaining in distancing me from Armaan?

I looked at him questioningly as Shivaay bit his lip before winking at me again surprising me with his actions. What is going on in this man's mind? He has never behaved in this way before. I don't know why, but he is scaring me with this sudden change in his demeanor from angry to sudden manipulation.

"Um...I will stay back here with Armaan," I intervened as Shivaay's smirk dropped immediately.

"No Anika. It will take time and honestly I don't want you to be troubled with me. You go and enjoy with Priyanka and the others. You finally are getting a break from organizing the fashion show. So, go and I will come later." Armaan appearing to press me as he looked at me with a look of urgency.

"No, I will stay here. I don't have any problems Armaan."

"Come on Anika. Don't make me feel guilt alright? Go on and I will come right after you ok?" Armaan clearly was not going to budge as he had already decided. I smiled slightly realizing how Armaan cared more about me and my happiness. Smallest things like these make one feel good and such gestures by Armaan make me feel good.

I sighed as I looked at Shivaay. I don't want to go with him, but since Armaan is insisting so much, I am definitely stuck in this situation.

"Let's go Anika. We will see you at the nightclub ok?" Shivaay remarked with a teasing smile as he looked back at me.

"See you later Armaan," I smiled slightly as Armaan waved back at me.

My feet not willingly to move as I forcefully dragged them following behind Shivaay. I sighed in frustration as Shivaay lightly chuckled knowing he has won some form of victory. A victory of keeping me away from Armaan even for a moment's time. This man can never change. Shivaay can never let go of me and never hold me. He placed me on a pendelum and is hanging me loose on to it. But, I am not helpless. How long will fate support him? Some day fate will support me. Right now, I will do my best to resist his manipulative advances because I know that he is playing mind game sright now.

"What happened?" Gauri questioned as she rolled down the window in the back passenger seat and looked out at me.

"Um...Armaan's car broke down, so he told us we should go ahead and he will come after getting the car towed," I noted as Gauri shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, at least we both get to spend time together Anika and chit chat. I was definitely not looking forward to this boring car ride with Shivaay and Omkara talking nonsense about the stock market," Gauri said as I giggled and opened the back passenger door.

I felt a sudden tug on my hand as I looked down at the door handle realizing Shivaay's hand was pulling me back. The warmth of his skin slowly vanquishing to my cold hand as felt it tremble under his touch.

"Um...what are you doing?" He questioned as he looked at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows slightly confused by his question. "What do you mean? I am about to sit inside the car like you suggested to Armaan remember?" My voice having a tinge of tauntingness as I snatched my hand away from Shivaay's and opened the SUV's door.

Shivaay's hand immediately jumping on top of the door as he held it. I threw him a glare as I tried to push the edges of his fingertips off the door. "Sit in the front with me. Let Om sit in the back with his wife," Shivaay replied nonchalantly as I sighed.

"Shivaay! What are we waiting for? Let's get in!" Omkara shouted as he quickly got into the front of the SUV.

I bit my lip from laughing as I looked at Shivaay whose teasing expression had just been torn by his brother. Shivaay threw him a glare before getting into the car. A small smile playing across my face as I sat into the seat right behind Shivaay.

Shivaay hit the gas as he made a turn out on to the bridge. Gauri slowly began to chat with me about my day and how the fashion show was going. Gauri doing most of the chatting as I tried to keep up with the conversation. For some reason, there was a sense of awkwardness in the car. Awkwardness in the sense how Shivaay's eyes seemingly drifted to the rearview mirror where he appeared to observe me. His eyes appearing to be ignited with lust as they appeared to trace the edges of my features. His gaze making me feel shy and awkward upon the realization of how he was looking at me. If anyone looked at me the way he was looking, I would have been furious, but somehow I find myself not being angry, but just shy as he looks at me.

"That's great how the fashion show is going. So, are you excited for it as it is later this week?" Gauri said excitedly.

"Yes, I am excited, but nervous as well. I mean the show has a lot of designers and models, so the entire day is definitely going to be like a rat race,"I replied nervously as I felt Shivaay's gaze on me making me feel more self conscious.

"Well, I think you will do great Anika. You appear passionate about the project and the positive cause, so I know you will do great!" Gauri said comforting me as I smiled.

I strangely found myself getting along with Gauri. I haven't known her for long, but I can tell she is a good soul and someone with a good heart. I like her honesty and directness about everything in life.

Shivaay suddenly hit the gas as he began to speed down the roads of San Francisco. The SUV zipping and zapping as he changed lanes. His eyes moving back on to the rearview mirror as he smirked appearing to test me. Tightening my grip on to the seat, I leaned forward as I felt furious upon how nonserious he was about driivng. He knew how much I hated speeding and that's what he exactly was doing to get on my nerves.

"Shivaay, can you slow down?" I asked with the smallest patience that was still present within me.

"My car. My rules," He replied with a commanding tone as I threw him a glare.

"Maybe take off those sunglasses, so you can actually see's this is the city and you have to drive slow," I remarked intimidating his command. Omkara and Gauri appeared to hold their laughter as they made a small sound before looking at both of us.

Shivaay's face flushing red as he appeared to be caught by surprise from my remark. He may not just have expected for me to be a tinge feisty, but I can be especially when it comes to safety. He sighed as he laid his head against the car seat before further hitting the gas pedal.

"Stop please!" I was getting quite annoyed as Shivaay smirked slightly as he looked into the rearview mirror.

"Uff...please? That is a first right Anika?" He said as he appeared to slow down the SUV barely making it within speed limits. His eyes looking up into the rearview mirror as he smirked and looked at me.

He is teasing me. Indefinitely, he is trying to get on my nerves and get my attention. Shivaay has a very bad habit of wanting attention. I remember how he always used to tease me and purposely get on my nerves when I would be angry at him after an argument or not giving him attention. He loves seeking attention and in this moment, perhaps, he wants mine.

Feeling my cheeks warming up as I noticed him continuing to look at my reflection in the mirror, I tried to look away and avoid him, but couldn't as my eyes returned back to match his. A tensed knot forming in my stomach as I played with my fingertips and moved them p and down in the air to calm the sheer nervousness that was forming from realizing how someone might just be admiring my features, observing it, and finding its flaws and strengths. It's been long since he has looked at me like that and that is what makes me nervous. Nervous about what exactly is going in his mind. Nervous about finding the reality of his intentions...I am scared of what I might just find if I look a bit more deeply into his gestures and unremarkable gazes given to me.

"Finally we are here!" Gauri appeared impatient as the SUV stopped in front of a large nightclub.

Large herds of people making their way into the nightclub as loud music erupted from the gray colored building. My heart beating unusually as I immediately began to feel out of place. My mouth going dry as I tried to wetten it, but failing as I began to feel nervous. I shouldn't have agreed to come with Armaan tonight. I should've realized how nervous and stressed I feel in crowded areas.

"Let's go Anika. What are you waiting for?" Gauri shook me back to reality as I sucked in a breath of air trying to calm down the nervousness I was feeling.

"You ok?" Shivaay's voice catching on to my nervousness as he looked back at me. I gulped nervously as I looked back at him trying to convey to him how I was feeling since I felt he might understand me. He knows what crowds do to me. His eyes appearing to catch on to my feelings as they looked back at Gauri.

"Um...I think crowds make her kind of nervous," Shivaay remarked as I looked back at him. He remembers. How does he remember this small thing about me? To think I mattered nothing to him, but somehow he still remembers such small details.

"It's ok Anika. I am here and I am sure you will be fine. Come on let's enjoy ok?" Gauri said smiling as she opened the door pulling my arm and helping me get out of the car.

I attempted to resist as she pulled me out.

What if I faint inside in front of the crowd? What if I start hyperventilating? What will everyone think of me? I began to imagine everyone seemingly laughing if I somehow freak out and panicking in the large crowd. My hands began to clam up as my heart began to beat faster. I began to take deeper breaths as I tried to calm myself down, but utterly failing to do so.

Suddenly, hues of purple and white began to blind my eyesight as flashes began to erupt upon our faces. Large sounds from a group of people coming towards us as I began to hear loud, continuous clicks of cameras that went off like the sounds of crickets at night.

My heel suddenly stumbling on the ground as my knee suddenly moved inwards making me slip back. I felt a sudden tight grip around my waist lifting me up and helping me balance. The flashes seemingly blinding me as I moved my hair out of my face to take a clearer glance of the person holding on to me.

My vision clearing up as my head brushed lightly against his jaw. Lifting my head up, a pair of blue eyes glistened towards me. My breaths stopping as my body trembled under the teasing edges of his touch. Shivaay's hand slipping underneath my blazer and on to my waist as his fingers tip toed slowly across the edges of my waist pulling me closer against him as the cameras continue to flash at both of us.

Future Promo:

"We're not supposed to be like this Shivaay...I am with Armaan..." I whispered as my voice crackled feeling vulnerable to my weakness.

He is wrong for me. He is toxic. He is everything I don't want, yet, I only find solace in his presence. The last three weeks have acted like a slow poison for me as everyday I did search for him. I told him to let go of me, but then somehow I am not able to let go of him. I want to let go because I know it is wrong to be with him...he can never change, but I still find pleasure in him. It's lust that I cannot keep tied and buried inside of me.

..........................

His body leaning against mine as his fingertips traced the edges of my lips. Seducing me, he leaned his face closer towards mine as suddenly nausea took over me. My hand jumping to my mouth as Shivaay took a step back quite surprised from me.

I felt my head spinning as I wanted to vomit right there at the moment. An unusual sense of nausea has been setting in lately for me and I cannot pinpoint what it is. My hands feeling a rush as I felt my legs quivering. Without a second thought, I dashed down the hallway.

Please do read Part 2 and Part 3 if you wish :)

Again, I tried my best and wrote the best I could. I was quite tired by the end of posting these three chapters, so if possible, if you like this chapter, then if you wish, you can upvote this chapter :) I hope this story succeeds because I really tried my best.

If you wish, you can follow me on Twitter on @JasmineDarcie to get more updates and hints about the future storyline. Recently, I gave out a big hint on what the future twist is in the story...