Edit 12/03/2019: I highly recommend that you read my explanation of the promo and the future storyline to understand why I have decided to write this track in the storyline :) This explanation is essential to understanding Shivaay and Anika's characters and the storyline in the long run along with how Anika will become a stronger woman.

https://www.wattpad.com/811896793-learning-to-love-him-again-jasmine%27s-explanation

Cover Photo Credit: Pininterest

Edit: I posted a preview of the upcoming chapters for "Learning to Love Him Again" as the next update will be back on December 19, 2019.

https://www.wattpad.com/811301711-learning-to-love-him-again-long-mid-winter-season

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Hi everyone :) I want to begin by thanking God for His blessings and all readers who have continued to read, support, and appreciate this story. Thank you for making this story trending all week on #13 on the "Ishqbaaaz" tag on Wattpad. This truly means a lot to me and thank you so much :) I want to thank all of you :)

Part 1 is the longest part and parts 2, 3, and 4 are quite short :) I have received a lot of requests from readers to increase the pace of this story, so this chapter was definitely sped up with a lot of things happening at once. Please let me know if you liked the pace of this chapter or if you would want the pace of the story to be a little slower.

I am not sure if you will like this chapter, but this chapter is really focused on a love confession and Anika's upcoming wedding
If you wish to encourage me to continue writing, then if you liked this chapter, if you wish you can upvote on this chapter.

P.S. I have just posted a new Shivika FF: "Our Forbidden Love" on Wattpad that explores a young Anika falling in love with a much older Shivaay Singh Oberoi during her sister and ex-fiancé's destination wedding.

https://www.wattpad.com/810326098-our-forbidden-love-chapter-1-a-romantic-encounter

This story is a rendition to "Learning to Love Him Again" as there are some similarities and big differences with a stronger Anika being the big difference. If possible please do click the link below and read this story :) Thank you :) I am still considering whether I should continue writing this story, so if possible please do let me know if like the concept once you read the story :)

https://www.wattpad.com/810326098-our-forbidden-love-chapter-1-a-romantic-encounter

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Anika's Point of View

"You ok Anika?" Armaan wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I flinched feeling oddly uncomfortable as I took a step away from him looking down at my clipboard and counting the models in the makeup room assuring everyone was ready as the show was about to start.

The room hustling and bustling with people running around everywhere as the show was about to take underway quite soon. I felt slightly faint as the humidity and suffocation was apparent as the crowd of employees and models appeared overwhelming to me.

"I'm fine..." I replied weakly as I checked off the list.

"Anika, are you still upset?" Armaan questioned as I sighed and shook my head. I didn't know what to say. There is nothing to say now. Clearly I am upset...upset over how you treated Shivaay that night, but also over the fact how my parents just fixed my marriage with you.

I don't even know how I am going to spend my entire life with you, Armaan? I don't know how I am going to live like this with a sense of emptiness that I have when I am with you Armaan. If only I did not make that promise to my mom. If I didn't have to make that promise.

"Tonight is going to be so special. I am quite excited to have you attend the Diwali party with me. I assure you that you will be surprised..." Armaan said smiling gleefully as I tried to smile,but failed to do.

Strangely, Armaan hasn't talked about our marriage being fixed...I wonder what is going on in his mind. Something is off and I don't know, but I feel it somewhere inside of me that something is not right

Placing my hand on my mouth, I felt nauseous once more as I took a step back and sat down on a chair.

"You ok Anika?" I looked up realizing it was Priyanka as she walked up to me. I smiled and nodded as I looked at her.

"Yeah, I think I might be getting lactose allergy or have developed some food allergy. I don't know..." I mumbled as I rested my head against the chair.

"Oh...sure...Dr. Malhotra doesn't know what is wrong with her?" Priyanka said teasingly as I rolled my eyes and looked at her.

I don't think anything is wrong with me. I mean, I am having certain symptoms of PCOS coming back since a couple of months, but nothing else. I should have continued taking birth control, but it was really messing up with my moods and then I lost weight. The menstruation normalized for a few months except the last few months they have been...

"Earth to Anika!" Priyanka called waving her hand in front of my face as I sneered at her.

"Stop it! I am fine!" I argued back as I laid my head back against the chair feeling faint once more.

"I think it's probably the organization of the fashion show that is taking a toll on her health. She has been working nonstop," Armaan argued as he did make a correct point.

"Well, Dr. Malhotra should know what's wrong with her?" Priyanka said playfully as I slapped her arm lightly.

"Whatever alright? I am pretty sure it's something I am eating. Anyways, why are you here?" I questioned curiously as I looked at her.

"What do you mean?! I am part of the hospital and I should be here to support it. I mean Ma and Gauri bhabhi are back at home organizing the Diwali party, but I abandoned them and came here to show support to our family and our organization as well," Priyanka announced proudly as I giggled knowing she just showed up to avoid doing any work at her parents' home for the Diwali party.

"Sureee..." I said as Priyanka rolled her eyes at me.

"Anika! We have a big problem!" Leo yelled as I got up looking confused at him.

"My model! The showstopper got sick! She's puking everywhere!" Leo exclaimed as I stumbled back feeling dizzy.

"W-What?! How is that possible?!" I exclaimed as I looked at Leo quite shocked at his sudden announcement. My eyes going back to my watch as I noticed models lining up.

Fear rushing up to me as I looked back at Leo with anxiety rushing up to me. What am I going to do? What are we going to do? So many people are out there and if this show fails. Oh my God.

"Well, technically she is not sick, but showed up drunk..." Leo mumbled as I clenched my fists tightly feeling quite angry and frustrated at the moment.

"How can you be so irresponsible and hand over this assignment to such a careless model? I told you we should have assigned the show stopping position to a non model volunteer from the community, but you argued with me that only a professional should carry that dress which was frankly very discriminatory! Now look at what you have done Leo!"

A sudden silence falling in the room as I realized I might have spoken a bit too loud. I gulped nervously feeling quite perturbed as I felt eyes on me. My heart pounding against my chest as I felt more dizzy than usual.

"What's wrong? Why are you yelling?!" The familiar voice catching my ears as I looked up realizing it was Shivaay.

Oh no. Damn it. Shivaay furrowed his eyebrows as he looked towards me. He already appears angry and I wonder how he is going to react finding out how screwed we are at the moment. He's probably going to get quite angry and likely unleash it on me considering I am running the show.

"Why are you yelling Anika? What's wrong?" Shivaay quickly walked up to me as I nervously took a step back.

"Um...uh..." Damn it, I cannot even say a word right now. I felt goosebumps ignited from fear rising up on my arms.

"What? Why aren't you speaking considering you were screaming your lungs out moments ago?" Shivaay said as he appeared to taunt me. I sighed knowing he was upset from what had happened in the hallway between us and Armaan.

"Sir...the showstopper got drunk and she definitely cannot walk the runway..."Leo spoke softly as fear could be heard in the tone of his voice.

My eyes following towards Shivaay as his face appeared to change colors to a bright red like a chameleon. He clenched his teeth tightly as he took a deep breath trying to relax, but failing to do so. My eyes going back to the clock realizing there were 20 minutes until the showstopper would be called on the stage.

"What. The. Hell..." His words barely coming through his gritted teeth as he slammed his hand loudly against the dressing table.

Priyanka letting out a small yelp as she took a step back aware that Shivaay was about to have an outburst. Shivaay glared at Leo ready to unleash his anger before I took a step forward right in front of him.

Shivaay stopped with his eyes falling on to my face. His anger appearing to lose some ground as he took a deep breath waiting to listen to me.

"S-Shivaay..." My voice shaking as I took a step forward grabbing his arm as he appeared to unclench his fist.

"Um...let's...let's not get angry right now, but focus on how we can solve this problem right?" I spoke softly in an attempt to calm him down.

Shivaay took a deep breath as he looked at Leo once more. "How are we going to solve this problem genius?" Shivaay spat at Leo as I bit my lip slipping my hand away from his arm.

"Uh...um...." Leo stumbled in his words knowing we definitely were in a fix.

"Find another model!"

"Mr. Oberoi...I would love to, but...there isn't someone who could put on the makeup and wear the dress....um...most of the models are already wearing the clothes...well actually all of them." Leo wiped sweat from his forehead as he appeared very nervous.

"Think something now. Right now or else your career in fashion designing will end very soon." Shivaay threatened appearing quite serious at the moment.

"Shivaay stop..." I whispered.

Shivaay turned around on his feet pointing his finger right at me. "Don't you dare get involved because you and I both know how wrong this Leo is right now!"

I gulped nervously falling into silence as I looked towards Armaan who appeared oddly quiet in the entire situation as he appeared to observe everyone, but mostly Shivaay and I. His eyes showing a sense of curiosity and questioning as he looked at us.

"Well...I mean...how about we just end the fashion show with introducing you both! I mean you both ran the idea for the show..."Leo chuckled nervously trying to play off the situation.

Well it seems like a good idea to end the show right there at the moment. A great idea in fact.

"Ran the show? I helped organize it!" Armaan intervened as he appeared quite upset with the false accusation.

"Look dear stay out of this will you?" Leo replied giving him the hand as Armaan looked quite appalled.

"Look...you and Shivaay will look great together at the end of the show. I mean Shivaay brought the idea of the free clinics and implemented the project and this show is to fund his free clinics. And since Anika you are the head organizer, I believe you both should walk the ramp together..." Leo smiled proudly as my eyes widened as I heard him say the last few words. Walk the ramp? What? No absolutely not.

"No! Of course I will not do this! I don't know how to walk the ramp. I am a doctor not a model!" I argued as I looked at Shivaay hoping for some support, but failing to get it as he appeared in deep contemplation.

"What are you thinking? Say no!" I ordered as I nudged his elbow. Shivaay looked back at me. His eyes appearing bright with an idea. The anger vanishing as he appeared a bit gleeful as he pondered on the idea with his hand under his chin. Don't you dare say yes Shivaay. Don't you dare.

"Yes! That is a great idea Leo. In fact, it would like nice to give a face to the people behind the idea...." Shivaay said as he suddenly chuckled surprising me in the sudden change of his mood considering I am the moody one these days.

"What about me?" Armaan questioned as he took a step forward. Priyanka rolled her eyes as she appeared to have finally awakened and enter the conversation.

"What about you Armaan? Hm? We all know how much you hate being on stage," Priyanka remarked as Armaan threw a glare at her.

"I mean you and Anika make a cute couple, but we know how much you hate walking on stage and being the center of attraction..." Priyanka mumbled towards Armaan.

"Armaan how about you go outside to the stage alright?" Shivaay said with a smirk across his face. He was thoroughly enjoying the moment of having control and command.

"Ok come on Anika, we have to get you prepared alright? Shivaay come on quickly wear a suit I have for you alright?" Leo said as he grabbed my arm dragging me towards the dressing room towards my right.

My eyes looking back at Armaan who appeared quite disappointed at the moment. I sighed as I looked back at Leo eagerly pushed me towards the dressing room.

"I cannot do this. I cannot..." I said nervously as I looked at Leo. Shivaay closely following behind me as he took a sigh from hearing what I had spoken.

"Don't you care about the success for this show?" Leo said as I sighed and sat down on the chair in front of a dressing table.

"Why don't you understand? I...I hate being on stage. There is an unusual fear I have in my mind that something wrong will happen. Most importantly everyone will be looking at me and judging me..." I whispered as I choaked on my nerves.

I hate being the center of attention and being judged closely by others. It's something I hate and something that make me break out with anxiety because I cannot handle being in large crowds.

My nerves fluttered as I shook my leg up and down with anxiousness over the problem I had gotten myself into.

My eyes flew towards Shivaay who stood behind Leo against the door of the dressing room. I looked at him hoping he would understand me. "Leo...go get the dress and the makeup artist ok?" He spoke as Leo nodded and quickly walked out the door.

https://youtu.be/bCkmvgjlQiQ

Without a second thought, Shivaay grabbed my hands that were placed on my lap. My hands pulling back a little as the warmth of his hand caught their coolness off guard.

"What's wrong Anika?" He spoke tenderly as I felt tears building up in my eyes as I felt the anxiety definitely building up and now getting a hold of my emotions.

"I-I...I cannot do this Shivaay...You know how much stage fright I have. You know how I scared I get being out in public with everyone watching..."

His hand quickly clasping against my lips as he stopped me from speaking more. The touch of his hand against my lips making them quiver as I bit them back. Tears slipping down my cheeks as I looked into his eyes pleading that he would bail me out of the situation.

"Shhh...you are brave Anika. You are a brave soul. Don't be nervous alright? I know it will be hard for you to follow this thought, but you have to be brave...This show is your responsibility and if it falls apart...I do not want others to blame you and put you down. I won't be able to tolerate it..."

I looked at him seeing a reflection of honesty in his words as he appeared concerned. He has never spoken to me like this before. The sense of care and concern reflected in the tone of his voice being quite different from the usual brashness of it. His words appearing to give me a sense of momentary courage as I realized he was speaking the truth. It felt unusual to be called brave considering the type of person I am...always in the background and being timid. I slightly smiled as I looked at Shivaay. He's right...I cannot walk away from this problem. I have to fight or else all my hard work will go to the trash.

"I am so sorry..." I whispered as I wiped my tears. Shivaay grabbed my hand placing it into his.

"Don't you dare say sorry. This is not your fault alright?" Shivaay ran his hand through the back of my hair. I slightly smiled feeling comforted by his touch. His presence eliminating my feeling of loneliness in the moment as I knew he would be here to get me through the problem.

His fingers running through the tangles of my hair as I closed my eyes finding some calmness to the anxiety inside of me.

What am I doing? The thought quickly breaking into my mind. My eyes widening as I quickly moved my head away from his hand dashing back to reality. I shouldn't be allowing him to touch me like this. I have been promised to be someone else's. Slipping my hand away, I looked away as I quickly got up.

Shivaay appeared taken aback from my sudden change in demeanor as I crossed my arms around me trying to appear distant. I have to maintain distance.

"Anika! We got your dress!" Leo exclaimed as he barged in.

I smiled as I looked at the beautiful chiffon, red colored gown. It appeared mesmerizing as I took step towards it grabbing a hold on to its long train as I held it into my hands.

"This is beautiful, but how will I carry it?" I whispered as I looked at Leo.

"What do you mean? You of course will carry this gown. This gown is made for you and it may be a little tight, but I am sure it will fit you..."Leo remarked happily.

"Anyways, Mr. Oberoi you can go to the next dressing room and get ready alright? We have fifteen minutes!" Leo exclaimed as he appeared to panic.

"Ellen! Come in here quickly!" Leo yelled as Ellen the makeup artist quickly rushed in.

The next minutes wrecking havoc as Ellen touched up my makeup and smeared a darker shade of red across my lips. Makeup continuing to run across my face as I felt it being quite excessive in all honesty while the hair stylist brushed my tangles and let the waves of my hair fall loose which I thankfully straightened today.

Ellen helped me get into the gown as I felt it tightened around my shoulders. My shoulders bare as the red sleeves stood halfway on them. I gulped nervously as I looked at myself in the mirror.

The ruffles of the gown making me appear poofy as I I straighthened it down. I feel like a princess except I wonder how I look...I thought as I placed my hand on my stomach feeling a little self conscious.

"Ah! We have five minutes! Come on let's go!" Leo said as I quickly slipped into the pair of heels and rushing after him.

My hands grabbing on to the gown as I lifted it knowing I was going to fall in it at any moment. I dragged my gown towards the curtains that stood behind the stage right next to the assistant.

"Ok...stay calm my dear alright? I will be back in a moment ok?" Leo repeated as I nodded nervously watching him walk away. My stomach knotting up as I felt a sense of heaviness in it. Oh God....I cannot do this. I mean I cannot possible walk in front of all those people. I thought as I looked at the large black marbled stage that ran and crisscrossed amongst the large crowd of people seated while reporters took pictures.

"Beautiful..." The word catching my ears as I looked back. The vision in front of me pausing my thoughts as it captured my attraction. My eyes falling on to the black tuxedo he wore that etched perfectly on him. His proud demeanor enhancing his looks as he stood with a captivating smile on his face.

"What?" I spoke as Shivaay smiled and walked towards me. His eyes moving up and down as he appeared to capture a picture of me in his eyes with a sense of seduction and admiration.

I placed my hands on the end of the gown as it fell down on the floor and swept it. "Damn you are going to break hearts today..." Shivaay chuckled as I looked quite surprised by his choice of flirtaous words. Is he really flirting with me right now?

Without a second thought he placed his hand on my back. My back flinching as I took a step forward only for him to grab on to the bow at my lower back pulling me against his chest.

"Don't do this...right now..." I whispered as I trembled feeling his hands trailing slowly up my back. His hand pushing underneath my hair as I felt his hand running against my back teasing it.

His warm breath appearing against my ear as I felt him lean against it making me close my eyes shut. He let out a small laugh against my ear as I felt his hand slipping up my back. "I wish I could...but..." Suddenly I heard a zip as he dragged the zipper. My eyes widening in surprise as I looked back brushing my nose against his. I flinched my head away immediately as I felt my waist clench itself together as his hand trailed my bare back closing the zipper slowly.

"You are my pride Anika...you are my honor..." His words immediately shattering my determination, to be far from him, as he had captured me. His eyes reflecting his pride in me as I slightly smiled feeling tears appear in my eyes.

Has he really changed? The man who once played with my pride and honor now finds his pride and honor in me....How could've he changed so fast?

The moment feeling bittersweet as I felt a sense of happiness hearing his words, but also questioning them as well. Questioning whether he was being honest this time around. But, then I do see honesty in him...I do see him changing and this time it appears genuine...Everything appears right....

"Go now!" The assistant said as I looked back at her confused. My feet freezing on the ground.

"What?" I looked at her confused as suddenly the stage when dark waiting for me to show up.

The gown suddenly appearing more suffocating as I heard the voices going down outside. Oh God...I cannot do this. What if I fall? What if I faint? What will everyone think about me? This thoughts suddenly appearing in my mind as I stumbled back suddenly feeling a hand wrapping my waist. I looked up towards Shivaay as he smiled at me showing solace in his eyes.

"I am here ok. We will do this alright?" He repeated and he wrapped his hand around my waist as he began to walk forcing me to move my feet.

I felt my heel stumble against the floor as tried to balance myself. Suddenly the lights appearing as I looked at everyone stunned. I felt a rush of adrenaline overcome me as my cheeks turned red.

"You are so beautiful Anika...the most beautiful woman I have ever met..." Shivaay whispered as I looked up at him.

Slowly, we began to walk as slipped his hand off my waist and clasped his hand in mine. I felt a shy smile creeping up across my lips as I looked up as the flashes of cameras blinded me. Voices heard around us as they appeared to look at us both. I tried to smile as I felt my gown trailing slowly behind me.

Roses from shades of red, pink, and white slowly beginning to fall on top of us as I looked back at Shivaay as he captured my gaze. He smiled proudly as he looked at everyone before looking back at me. His eyes reflecting a sense of happiness after a long time as they looked towards me. I smiled back at him completely mesmerized by the moment as everyone looked at us. His hand in mines' as he brought me proudly in front of the world without any shame or guilt. He looked proud to have me besides him unlike before...He was proud to be with me in this moment and that is what mesmerizes me. The idea....the fantasy...that he longs to be with me...that he may have realized his...mistake.

"Your smile is what makes me smile. Your eyes tells me there is still innocence in the world...Your soul captures your beauty..." Shivaay whispered as I let out a small laugh at his words looking back at everyone else in the crowd as my nerves appeared to disappear. My attention now solely on Shivaay as I appeared captivated by him.

"Only you can make up such words..." I replied as suddenly I felt my heel stumbling. My eyes widening as I felt off balance as I tried to balance myself. Without a second though, Shivaay jumped and grabbed my waist pulling me against him as my hand immediately jumped to his chest.

The voices of the crowd drowning out as I looked into his eyes. He smiled as he looked at me wrapping his hand tightly around my waist as his eyes wandered towards my lips before looking up at me. My body flinching as I felt the rose petals lightly touching me as they fell upon us.

A sense of desire knocking on my heart as I attempted to look away, but only to look back towards him. He was tying a knot around me, ready to keep me, and I was somehow liking it.

"Fools make up words...not lovers Anika..." He whispered as his words caught hold of my heart. I felt a sudden flutter as I looked at him. Shivaay smiled as he lifted his arm up as I twirled following his command captivated by his words.

Lovers...what does he mean? His words suddenly twisting my soul and pushing distress into it, churning it, and molding it into the way it should be...His words snapping my vulnerability as I felt it drop down on to my heart in an instant...

"Presenting Dr. Anika Malhotra and Shivaay Singh Oberoi! The great minds behind this successful show!" The speaker announced as the sound of the mic broke my trance. The cameras suddenly going off as I heard them shutter around us. Shivaay's hand still around my waist as I looked back at him confused wondering what his words meant.

Does he love me? Wait...Shivaay loves me...I felt my head spin as the thought suddenly crashed on to my heart. The emptiness vanishing from within me as it appeared to wanted to capture this thought...this idea that Shivaay loves me.

But, this cannot be. No. How can it possibly be that he loves me? How can he love me? He can never love someone...The questions erupting inside of me as I looked back at him.

Shivaay smiled waving at everyone as he smiled looking back at me winking in the process. He bit his lip as he looked a me with a sense of seduction...My eyes widening as I looked at him.

He might just love me...the gestures, the expressions, the way he talks to me...What is fate doing? How can fate change him like this at such a cruel moment in my life? Is fate signaling something? Has fate teling me that it always has been him and I?

Part 3 is already posted and is next :)

P.S. A lot of Shivika scenes will be seen in the next parts as well :)

If you wish to encourage me to continue writing, then if you liked this chapter, if you wish you can upvote on this chapter.

Edit: I posted a preview of the upcoming chapters for "Learning to Love Him Again" as the next update will be back on December 19, 2019.

https://www.wattpad.com/811301711-learning-to-love-him-again-long-mid-winter-season