Hi :) I want to begin by thanking begin by thanking God who continues to give me the courage to write even when I lose courage to do so at times and I want to thank all of you amazing readers who are continuing to read this story despite the dramatic twist in the last chapter. I promise you that in this chapter, Shivaay will now finally begin to change :) Thank you readers for continuing to be positive, kind, and gentle human beings who continue to encourage me to write :) All of you are a blessing to me :)

This is the only update for this week :)

Note: The views expressed in these chapters, especially by Daadi and Pinky aunty, are not mine at all. I am simply commenting on societal norms that I personally believe are wrong and hypocritical.

I hope you all like the new book cover! :) Please be lenient as I am not a good artist! Lol 😂:D

This update is long, but please definitely do read the ending that answers the big question about Anika's possible pregnancy along with the scene where Shivaay finally might change which is the second to last scene! :)

Hi everyone! :) You all and I are definitely lucky to have such an amazing, awesome, and artistic reader amongst us who has made another lovely video on our very own Shivika from "Learning to Love Him Again for Chapter 30-32 along with a teaser of future chapters!:)

The video was made by the Twitter account name: Iridescentlove4. The link for the video is below: (If you cannot click it then please do go directly to my Twitter account name called @JasmineDarcie where I retweeted the video or please do directly to Iridescentlove4 twitter account to watch the video). Please do spare some time and watch this amazing video! :):

https://twitter.com/Iridescentlove4/status/1210411905665445888?s=20

I also want to say that I am sorry to all readers who may have been disappointed by the dramatic change in the storyline. I am sorry if I have disappointed you :( I hope the future storyline is better and some of you will continue to read it.

The next four chapters are going to be a bit more sad for Shivika, but this is necessary to unite them into a bigger relationship after which lighter moments will progressively be shown.

This chapter finally answers the million dollar, popular question right now which is that is Anika pregnant?!-So do read the entire chapter to find out :)

Also, this chapter shows a beautiful flashback of Shivaay and Anika which shows Shivaay in another light that he hasn't been shown in previous flashbacks.

This chapters also shows a Shivaay that now will change...so please do read the entire chapter to let me know what you feel about the story.

I am sorry I could not give two updates this week, but I had a very busy week in my personal life which has taken a toll on me, so I am sorry :(

Thank you for reading and if you like this chapter then please do like, comment, and share :)

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https://youtu.be/3rc_pQbgx7U

A sense of worry convoluted my mind wrapping it with a sense of uneasiness that clenched on to my heart as my eyes grazed over Anika who laid lifelessly against my chest. Her body continuing to shiver as I tightened my grip on her waist attempting to help her capture the heat of my body.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up at the levels the elevator continued to pass. Chewing on my lip, I bit into intently losing patience as the elevator snailed its way to the top floor. My eyes continuing to dart back to Anika who appeared to be semiconscious as her hand trailed against my chest gripping on to my shirt loosely while appearing to mumble.

"You will fine ok? I am here Anika...Ok?" I whispered softly against her ear as she mumbled.

An unusual ache touching my heart as I looked at her remembering how I found her tonight...Laying on the ground all alone with no one who was close by who could provide her love...I wonder how long she was unconscious before I found her. My eyes moving back towards her as I captured her innocence...

The elevator doors finally opening as I quickly walked out looking towards the hotel room numbers until I finally saw room 707 located at the end of the hallway. Quickening my pace, I looked down towards Anika who continued to shiver as she held on to my shirt tightening her grip on it.

Tagging the card against the door knob, I kicked open the door bringing ourselves in as I slammed the door shut behind ensuring no one would see the both of us together knowing what assumptions would be made.

Walking through the large living area, I made my ways towards the adjunct bedroom as I looked at Anika whose body appeared to get warmer minute by minute as the fever had completely intoxicated her senses.

"I am here...Hm? Anika...wake up..." I spoke softly to her as I lowered her body on to the bed carefully setting her on to it.

My hands grazing against her waist as I laid her on to the bed. Her hand immediately tightening its grip on to my shirt as she pulled me down making my hand fly up in the air as I immediately grabbed on to the backboard of the bed wrapping my hand around hers'.

My gaze falling down towards her as she laid with innocence...vulnerability...The moonlight touching her soul as a dim lamp stood lit in the room.

Her beauty capturing me in an instant as my eyes fell towards her rose colored lips that laid quivering with her eyes remaining shut appearing to have lost their soul's conscious. An unusual glow touching her enhancing the beauty of her soul that she cherished.

This is the purity I want to touch and will touch soon as her husband...This purity she has in form of innocence, vulnerability, selflessness...the purity in how she lacks awareness of the world's evils...the purity seen in how she loves others without any selfish intent...

"I love you," The words slipping out of my soul as I grazed my hand against the soft skin of her cheek tightening my grip around her hand that held on to my shirt.

A sense of fulfillment reaching my heart as I spoke the words to her...A sense of happiness intoxicating my heart with realization of how I had claimed her to be mine in front of the entire world tonight...Joy in the fact that now Anika would only be mine...no other man would dare to claim her now...I know what I have done has hurt you Anika, but...this heart is not allowing me to live a day without you now...I need you...I need your love....

Entwining my fingers with hers', I slowly slipped it away from my shirt allowing it to collapse on to the bed. Wrapping my hand around the back of her head, I lifted her up slowly laying her against my chest as I placed another pillow on top of the first one.

"Anika...wake up...Hm?" I whispered to her knowing it was going to be futile as I ran my hand against her cheeks feeling the heat that was being emitted from them.

Anika always tends to lose consciousness when she gets a high fever and today likely is no different. I remember when she was pregnant with Chaaya, her symptoms were the worst when she got the flu as her fever ran for a couple of days.

My hand trailing to the phone next to the night stand as I placed it against my ear calling for room service.

"Hello, can I please get a tyelnol and bowl of cold water? Make it quick please," I spoke as I hung up the phone quickly wrapping my arms around Anika wanting to hold her against my soul...feel her purity as she laid silently against my chest with a sense of innocence.

Slipping my coat off her shoulders, I laid it on to the bed as I looked towards Anika as I felt the desire to continue to hold her close and protect her...a desire to love her igniting inside of me as I ran my hand through her hair.

Fixing the pillows, I lowered my body helping her lay down as I wrapped my hand around hers' slipping it away from my shirt. She continued to mumble as I pulled up the covers placing it on top of her.

"Anika...Anika..." I whispered despite knowing that she likely will not respond.

"Shivaay is here ok?..."I whispered as I grabbed her hands slowly rubbing them against mine, feeling their soft tender touch after ages, wanting to warm them up as she continued to shiver.

I hope she gets better. I bit my lip as I remembered what had happened tonight...Remembering everything she had to go through. My heart skipping a beat as I remembered the bitter words thrown at her...And her tears...A sense of uneasiness touching me as I grazed my hand against her cheeks where her dried tears laid.

I had to tell everyone the truth Anika...I couldn't bear to see you with anyone else...It was essential I told the world about us because in that way everyone will know that you are only mine and no one will dare to look at you the way I do...You will eventually love me...I can see love in your eyes and that is the love I will bring to light to you and then we can begin our future together...

"Room service!" I sighed as I quickly went to the door opening it as an employee appeared with a cart.

"Here is a bowl of ice cold water and a packet of tylenol," He spoke as I nodded taking hold of them.

"I can handle it. You can go now," I spoke as I blocked the entrance not wanting anyone to get an idea that Anika was in the room with me.

Closing the door shut, I quickly made my way towards the bedroom placing the bowl and the tablet on the nightstand. My eyes moving towards Anika as she continued to shiver. Worry trembling through my body as I quickly dashed to the bathroom to get a set of small towels before making my way back towards her.

Grabbing the towel, I dipped it into the water looking back at Anika once more as I touched her forehead which was hot to touch. Squeezing the towel, I placed it on her forehead delicately as she appeared semi-conscious slowly turning her head towards me as she flinched.

"Mm...no...no...Don't...mom...don't hit...." My eyes widening as my head shot up towards her hearing the small words barely slipping through her dried lips.

The memory of tonight coming back when her mother slapped her...The image shattering my heart as I looked at her innocence realizing that something worse has happened to her...Her mother is quite conservative...What if she hit her more than once? My heart began to pound against my chest as imminent distress touched me even thinking about what had happened to her.

Her parents kicked her out of their home...She loves them so much...I felt something weigh down my heart as I took a deep breath remembering her wails and screams that she let out in my bedroom...Her pleas seemingly appearing to haunt me as I closed my eyes shut trying to tune out the memories.

"S-Shivaay....S-Shivaay..." Her voice catching my attention as I immediately leaned closer to her wrapping my hand around the nape of her neck.

"I-I'm here Anika....Hm?" I spoke as she appeared to let out a small whimper moving her hand out of the covers and hitting it against the pillow as I grabbed it looking at her puzzled.

She is likely talking in her sleep due to the fever. Pursing my lips together, I squeezed the water out of the small towel once more before placing it on her forehead. My hands running through her hair remembering how she tended to find comfort in it whenever I did this to her.

Anika I am here for you now. Do not be afraid alright? Shivaay will protect you from this world now and no one will dare to hurt you now. No one. They will have to go through me first. Now you are my responsibility and I will do everything to ensure you are always at peace and happiness.

Anika continued to shiver not finding warmth in the covers as she moved her head back and forth. What should I do? I looked at the thermostat knowing it was set at room temperature and further increasing it would only hurt Anika and her fever. Maybe I should?...She is shivering and it's important to stop such.

Slipping my shoes off, I looked back at Anika seeing her distressed as she took deep breaths. Lifting the covers, I slipped inside as I seated my back against the board of the bed. My hands immediately wrapping around Anika's waist as I looked at her...A sense of attraction lifting itself up as my eyes trailed her beauty...

A soft smile appearing across my lips as I lifted her up laying her against my chest laying her head right on my heart. My hand entwining in hers as my eyes caught sight of her mehendi which had turned a deep shade of dark red. Smiling, I ran my hand against her palm lines seeing them seemingly connect with mines' as fate would have it.

"I guess my love is deeper than you think to be Anika..." I spoke as I admired the mehendi before trailing my hands to her choora and then slowly up to her face realizing how she looked like a complete bride tonight. Her simplicity igniting her beauty as I slipped the dupatta tightly around her shoulders as I looked at her placing my lips against her forehead.

"I am sorry Anika for hurting you...for letting you go...Looking at you like this makes me realize what I big mistake I did by letting go of you...a complete, true beauty that is seen in your simplicity, innocence, selflessness..." I whispered as she slid her hand against my chest seemingly burying her head into the warmth.

"Hm?...Shivaay...I..." She continued to murmur innocently in her sleep as I wrapped the covers above the both of us leaning back against the bed as I held her into an embrace.

"I wish you were my bride tonight...I wish I can never let you go...But soon you will be my wife and then we will have many moments like these..." I spoke as I caressed her shoulder laying my head against the bed as I remembered a moment in time when she truly was my bride...A moment when I was not in my senses...failing to appreciate her...

Flashback

https://youtu.be/l9mmV96t1ks

A shy smile appeared across her lips as I made a turn towards the hotel where we were staying in San Francisco. My eyes catching her beauty once more as my heart skipped a beat. Her gaze lowered as she played with her hands in her lap-a habit I observed that she has whenever she gets nervous and anxious.

Slightly smiling, I slipped my hand into hers' grabbing hold of it. "Beautiful...is a small word compared to how you are looking tonight," I spoke as I looked towards her. Her eyes slowly lifting up reflecting innocence as her cheeks reddened. The sight of her beauty appearing to intoxicate me as I felt lost in the moment seeing her as my bride...

Making a small turn we entered the main gates of the hotel as we drove down the long route to the entrance. Anika's hand appearing to tremble under my grip as I stopped the car in front of the valet.

Raising my eyebrow, I looked at her confused as she had her gaze lowered appearing quite nervous. My hand grazing against her cheek as she lifted her head up looking towards me. I felt my heart beginning to increase its beats as I looked at her catching sight of the sindoor I had placed in the parting of her hair tonight.

A sense of uneasiness touching me upon looking at her marked with symbols of the vows we took tonight...The mangalsutra dangling from her neck representing how she was now claimed as my wife...My body flinching upon the thought that she was my wife. I don't know why, but I a sense of discomfort touches me whenever I think about what has happened. I shouldn't be feeling this way considering I worked so hard to accomplish this plan...this plan to ruin her...ruin that ego she holds...ruin her as she humiliated me in front of everyone in the office party and how due to her I lost an important project since my business associates were present there and how I almost lost my position as CEO due to her. She deserves to be ruined in daring to challenge Shivaay Singh Oberoi and humiliating him in public that no one has done...She deserves it, but then why am I feeling so uneasy?

"What's wrong?" I spoke as she weakly smiled.

"N-nothing...I-I m-miss my parents tonight," She whispered as tears streamed down her cheeks. Her tears somehow increasing the discomfort inside of me as I sighed taking a deep breath thinking why I was feeling restless by seeing her like this.

My hands slipping against her tears as I wiped them away. She slightly hiccupped as she leaned her face against the palm of my hand lifting her innocence...why do her eyes have that innocence? I attempted to maintain composure, but the restless was not letting go of me as I kept my gaze intact upon her.

"Don't cry alright?...Anika...I understand, but don't worry we will talk to your parents when things settle down alright?" I spoke softly realizing how it was a bitter lie as likely I was never going to approach her parents and end this marriage soon in two months. I mean that is the time frame I placed the bet for with my friends....I took a deep breath as I slowly looked back towards her as she continued to cry.

"Anika...let's not start our new life like this...with tears. I cannot see you like this...Your tears burn like hot ashes on to this soul..." I whispered as the words slipped out surprising me realizing what I just said considering my thoughts have never delved into such depth, but perhaps it somewhere the words hold some truth as I cannot see her tears. Whenever she cries, it feels unbearable and I don't know why.

Anika hiccupped as she wiped her tears with her hands continuing to tremble. Grabbing her hand, I leaned my lips against them laying a soft kiss. Her fingertips suddenly cowering as I looked up at her noticing she was blushing once again.

"The...tears...are also because...um...I...am nervous..." She barely spoke as I raised my eyebrow looking at her confused. She bit her lip, just like she always did out of habit, as she wrapped her saree's pallu around her tightly. The thought then suddenly coming to my mind as I realized what she was trying to say realizing that tonight would be our wedding night.

A small smile appearing across my lips as I looked towards her seeing her utterly timid and coiled up. I truly have never met a woman like her. Her shyness...her timid voice...Women have never been like this around me...Never. Somehow this shyness lures me and it shouldn't considering I see it as a sign of weakness, but this vulnerability she has sometimes lures me to a point that I forget everything...the grudge, the bet, the anger...all of it.

"Hm? Nervous?...Acha really?" I said teasingly as Anika slightly smiled as she looked back towards me realizing I was teasing her.

"Stop..." She whispered as she pouted her lips in a childish way. I let out a small chuckle as I ran my hand against the strand of hair placing it behind her ear taking a glance at her simplicity.

I don't know what it is, but tonight everything seems different. Somehow every single thing that I have kept my focus on and centered in my thoughts is vanishing and all my thoughts are turning and coming back to only one person and that is Anika. The moment I have laid my eyes on her tonight seeing her as my bride, it feels different somewhere in my heart and that is something that I cannot pinpoint on.

It feels right to admire her. It feels right to make her smile. It feels right to hold her...I know it shouldn't feel such way knowing the reality of this relationship which is that it is a lie as even though we are now legally husband and wife, I still do not see this as a marriage, but as a way to achieve a bet as to teach her a lesson for going against me, but then why is this thought leaving me?...Why is her presence consuming my thoughts and making me want to accept the fact that she is my wife...?

"Now shall we get going or let the valet keep on waiting for us?" I remarked as she softly smiled looking out the window.

I smiled as I looked towards her somehow allowing her shyness to entangle my thoughts into knots allowing me to only be allured by her beauty. "Acha chale?" I asked as she smiled nodding looking back towards me.

Quickly opening the door, I got out as I made my way towards the other side of the car noticing Anika was already opening the door before I grabbed the door handle. "Hey, at least let me do this!" I exclaimed as Anika giggled wrapping her saree's pallu tightly around her shoulder. The way she is down to earth not once claiming that she be treated in a certain way is something unique...something I have never seen not even in my own family.

"It's just a door!" She argued back as I rolled my eyes before chuckling and slipping my hand into hers'.

"So? At least let me show some chivalry tonight," I noted as she let out a small giggle appearing giddy with a sense of happiness that consumed her...A happiness I had intentions to destroy and that my mind told me to shatter, but somehow something was pulling me back tonight.

Handing off the keys to the valet, we made our way down towards the entrance of the hotel as Anika entwined her hand in mines' grabbing hold on to my arm. Her eyes speaking love as she looked towards me intently appearing to capture my image in her heart...The way she looks at me is so different from the way other women have looked at me with only eyes of lust.

What does she see in me? I have nothing to offer. I am hallow...This heart has never loved anyone...doesn't know how to...and likely will never love anyone. Why can she not see this truth? Is her love for me blinded her to a point that she cannot see that I perhaps...do not love her...perhaps...Would I be lying if I say I have not felt anything for her since the last few months?...My mind swirling in my thoughts as I took a deep breath attempting to focus on my goal...my goal of showing her place, but somehow not being able to focus on this thought.

Walking through the hotel lobby, Anika wrapped her hand around my arm. "Chivalry is something I haven't experienced ever..." She spoke softly as I immediately looked back towards her realizing how her response was minutes delayed from what I had said something that she always does seemingly because she always is lost in her world of thoughts that I have observed.

"Well, now I will show chivalry...Hm? Let me take care of you now," I spoke as she gave me a tender smile.

Smiling, I tightened my grip on her hand before leaning in and laying a soft kiss against her cheek. She let out a small giggle immediately turning her head towards me.

"Stop!" She whispered, but seemingly appearing to have liked the gesture. Rolling my eyes, I led our way towards the elevators.

"Only I am showing love tonight not my new bride," I remarked in a means to tease her which I have started to enjoy occasionally these days. I don't know why I am playing along, but seemingly our simple conversations appear more fulfilling than the dire conversations I tend to have with others.

Anika smiled as she looked up towards me with her innocent eyes before laying a kiss on my shoulder appearing to blush in an instant. My eyes widening seemingly caught off guard from her public display of affection considering she is shy to show love in public.

"Hm? Now this is new," I noted as the elevator doors opened and we walked in. I chuckled noticing her cheeks turning a burning shade of red as I wrapped my hand around her waist tightly realizing we were the only ones in the elevator.

"Remember this is when everything started..." I spoke as Anika looked at me curiously.

"Started?" She questioned curiously as I shook my head looking back towards her.

"Hm...well it started for me. Remember your car got caught in the snowstorm and I brought you to my penthouse? As usual your fear of elevators caught the best of you and grabbed on to me tightly," I noted as I remembered the moment vividly which appeared odd considering it should be meaningless.

"What started?" She asked curiously as my eyes stood still with her question catching a grasp on to my thoughts...What did start? I thought as I looked at the elevator snailing its way up to the top floor. I don't know Anika...I don't know what started...but I know that was part of the plan to reel you in...Say something else Shivaay don't allow her to know what you are going to do.

"Um...loving you...it started that night," The words easily slipping out of my mouth as if they revealed the bare tones of my heart. A small smile lifting its way up to my heart and to my lips as I immediately wrapped my arms around her waist leaning her against the elevator wall.

"Shivaay stop! What if someone gets in?!" She exclaimed placing her hands on my chest as she looked at the doors fearfully.

Her eyes full of fear seemingly attracting me as my eyes hovered over her realizing how breathtaking she looked tonight...Her blushing, glowing cheeks...Her red rose colored, delicate lips...The simplicity of her clothes and jewelry enhancing the ornament she wore...her soul...What is happening to me? Why is she making me lose control of my thoughts right now?

Leaning my body closer towards her, I pulled her against me as she looked immediately into my eyes revealing an ocean of emotions she kept inside of them....not hollow like mines'. Her eyes an open book to her soul as they appeared to lure me in.

"You are going to drive me crazy with these eyes of yours'..." Tracing my hand to her cheek, she lowered her gaze wrapping her hand into mines'.

"They are just eyes..." She spoke as I let out a small laugh trailing my fingertips to her chin.

"These eyes reflect your soul...You are an open book and that is what acts as a drug to me...This sadness, happiness, shyness is a dangerous mix Anika..." I whispered as she looked at me confused. My thumb dragging itself at the corner of her lips which appeared to quiver in nervousness.

"The elevator will stop soon and someone might see us..." She whispered as she traced her hands up and down my chest attempting to hold herself back.

"Tell them you're my wife," I replied as I leaned her face closer towards me filling my senses with the rose fragrance she always wore that seemingly intoxicated me at times making me forget everything except her. Without saying another word, I laid a tender kiss at the corner of her lips as she lowered her head leaning it against my shoulder becoming vulnerable to my touch in an instant.

My hands wrapping around her waist pulling her into a hug as she buried her head into my chest. "We are finally together Shivaay...finally..." She spoke as I grazed my nose against the side of her neck placing soft tender kisses along it finding myself losing control of my thoughts and wanting only her...The moment taking over.

My hand moving towards the back of her head as I slowly lifted it up catching sight of her as she kept her eyes closed seemingly allowing time to take control of her. Her lips catching my gaze as I looked at them admiring the delicate, soft words that eclipsed from them...words no one has said to me before...Words I never heard before. Without saying another word, I leaned closer and captured her lips awakening her as she instantly pulled me closer towards her. Her lips wavering against mine as I felt her shaking in nervousness....Rubbing my hands against her waist, I inched my lips slowly against her to calm her nerves that had appeared to tremble under my touch. The soft, tenderness of her lips enticing me making me realize how they were once virgin before I took a taste of them...realizing how I was her first in almost everything...seemingly empowering me in the moment knowing she was mine and never was anyone else's before.

The elevator doors suddenly opened as Anika immediately let go of my lips appearing startled by the reality that broke her out of her trance. I let out a small chuckle looking at her naivity as I wrapped my hand around her waist pulling her against my body.

"See there was no one waiting to get into this damned elevator," I spoke as Anika shook her head playing with her fingers once again as she blushed an intense shade of red.

"This is one thing I love about you," I whispered as I leaned against her ear kissing it.

"What?" She spoke curiously as we walked towards our room.

"Your shyness...innocence...is something I have never seen," I replied as Anika bit into a smile looking back towards me appearing to melt my words into her heart.

"Now you should admire me. You know...compliment me," I commanded trying to appear serious as somehow I oddly wanted to know what she really thought about me. Anika giggled as she appeared to contemplate and ponder over a series of thoughts.

"Hmm...we have the entire night to talk right? Actually our entire life...I think that is enough time for me to admire you with delicate words ..." She noted barely getting the words out of her as her nerves were getting to her.

"Acha ji?" I questioned as Anika nodded as we almost got to our room. My mind slowly forming an idea as Anika walked side by side next to me.

Without saying another word, I wrapped my arm around her waist before lifting her legs up in the air.

"Shivaay!" She squealed wrapping her arms immediately around my neck closing her eyes shut in fear. An instant laugh erupting from me as I began to move her side to side as she let out a small scream burying her face into my chest.

"I am going to fall! Stop!" She ordered as I began to lead us to our room. Her hands gripping tightly to my kurta as she held on to me.

"It's a tradition for a groom to bring a bride to their room like this!" I argued back enjoying the fact that I was teasing her as she shook her head against my kurta.

"Come on Anika, enjoy the moment will you? You are lucky to be carried this way into the beginning to our new life," I spoke against her ears as she let out a small giggle before lifting her head up looking towards the door to our room.

"Our new life to forever," She spoke as she laid a kiss against my neck setting an unusual chill down my spine upon feeling the tender touch of her lips.

Forever?...A sense of uneasiness dropping down upon me realizing that all of this wasn't forever. That Anika was never going to stay with me forever...That all of this is a plan not a true relationship...I can never commit to a true relationship...Its something I have never given worth to knowing relationships are mere illusions hidden behind life's reality which is greed and selfishness.

"What's wrong?" Anika's voice shattering my thoughts as she placed her hand on my cheek. My gaze lowering as I tagged the hotel room's doorknob.

"Um...nothing...nothing at all..." I spoke as I attempted to play her off. Slowly opening the door, I brought her inside as my eyes widened quite surprised by the room. The door slamming shut behind us as I held Anika in my arms tightly.

The room seemingly transformed from when we had left as arrays of candles stood lit in each and every corner of the room illuminating the room's darkness with hues of red and orange that intimidated the dark night. Roses petals scattered across the floor tailing themselves to the large bed where a large heart was formed by them.

A sense of confusion erupting inside of me realizing that I had not ordered this change. Hearing a small giggle, I immediately looked back realizing it was Anika as she looked back towards the room appearing to blush.

"Hm...like the surprise?" Anika spoke as she played with the button of my kurta appearing to tease me. My heart skipping a beat in an instant as I realized she had arranged all of this for us...how did she keep all of this a secret?

"See...I am learning a few things from you..." Anika whispered shyly as a wide smile appeared across my lips realizing how this was the first time someone had done something like this for me...only me. None of my girlfriends ever did something like this...They were too busy being socialites and climbing the ladder towards money rather than giving this attention to me...Perhaps she is different as she was never part of them...never deprived of her innocence.

Locking the door behind us, I slowly walked towards the center of the room carrying Anika tightly in my arms as silence approached her tying her voice into knots. My eyes following her as she kept her gaze lowered not saying a word.

The silence in the room becoming our conversation as a realization appeared to touch both of us...that now we were husband and wife...somehow after tonight we will be bonded in a relationship that is symbolized to be forever....I took a deep breath as I realized what I was thinking.

Shivaay, what are you thinking? Why are you giving so much importance to this marriage and tonight? None of this should hold importance to you. Focus on why you decided to marry her...focus on that. You married her to show her place. You married her because you know how much she values these types of illusive relationships and how once you will break these values she has that she cherishes then you will be able to break that ego of hers and make her realize how wrong she did to you...Take vengeance over how she made you lose funding for your projects, made you lose important business clients, and most importantly dared to embarrass and humiliate you in public...Go on focus on that. My mind spoke adamantly, however, my heart was telling another story...A story that I did not want to hear....A story of consistent attraction and admiration of this woman...a story in which I have found myself liking her presence and enjoying her company...a story in which I find peace when she is near and restlessness when she is far away...A sense of confusion erupted and tied itself around my mind and my heart not letting it go as I looked back towards Anika.

"I am so lucky...that fate gave me you...You are a blessing to me..." Anika whispered as I felt my heart beginning to pound against my chest hearing those words that made me immediately feel the lowest in my life...How can she see me like this? How can she not see this innate toxic poison I feed and nurture inside of me? How can she see me as a blessing despite the fact that I am the exact opposite?

My eyes moving towards the large bed that stood in front of us realizing its symbolic meaning...Marriage is the way you would get intimacy with her and she will shattered once you will break her...Don't you want that? My mind spoke this statement that it spoke that night when I went to her apartment to win her back in order to execute this plan....My throat tightening as my heart began to increase its beats minute by minute as a sudden rush of adrenaline hit me right in the core of my soul....taunting me, teasing me, telling me to be Shivaay Singh Oberoi and do what he always does...destroys.

Slowly moving towards the bed, I lowered her body on to it making her sit down as she kept her arms around my neck making me lean over her. Her hands trembling against my shoulder blades as she appeared anxious. Her soul forcing her to give a small timid smile as she trailed her hand down my chest igniting goosebumps before grabbing on to my hand.

Without saying another word, she appeared to unravel her barriers as without any hesitance she laid a soft tender kiss on my hand. My soul flinching back not wanting to be enticed by her touch, but failing as my eyes immediately moved towards her and in a second my soul began to twist upon seeing her vulnerability.

"Thank you for...for accepting a broken soul...accepting a soul with so many flaws...I don't deserve this much love that you have given me and continue to give me..." Her words immediately tying my soul into a knot as I began to feel a sense of pain touch it. My breaths getting deeper as I realized what she was saying...She is vulnerable Shivaay...She is vulnerable...where is the ego that you claim there is? My heart spoke as I felt her tears graze the skin of my hand touching my heart in an instant.

My hand immediately placing itself on her head as she whimpered against it. What have I done?-Stop...Stop it Shivaay...Don't indulge yourself in emotions...They are baseless delusions that one submerges themselves in...Don't you dare-my mind spoke as I stood still at loss on what I should do.

Tears have never touched me....This uneasiness over executing a plan or a decision has never even come near me...then what is happening to me tonight? Why is it my heart is beginning to speak for the first time? My mind has always spoke in moments of practicality and this emotion filled crap is something I have never given attention to then what is happening tonight?

My eyes lifting up as they fell on the bed realizing what was written on it. My eyes widening as I saw the rose petals laying themselves in delicate pieces-I love you Shivaay...The rose petals giving life to Anika's thoughts as she kissed my hand once more.

"Shivaay...thank you for saving me..." She whispered once more as I looked at her confused seeing her tears continuing to roll down her cheeks as her eyes reflected the depth of sadness and loneliness she carried. My soul immediately making me kneel down in front of her something I have never done for anyone else...Her tears screaming vulnerability somehow grasping on to my soul and charming it.

My hand immediately grasping on to her cheeks as she lowered her gaze. "Anika...what's wrong? Please don't cry like this...Why are you crying so suddenly? Hm?" I questioned as I leaned my face closer towards her wiping her tears away.

Lifting her eyes full of tears, she looked at me once more. "I-I...I have been so alone...all my life Shivaay...All my life...You cannot imagine how lonely...I was...I had a soul, but...a lifeless one...I had a heart, but one in hunger...wanting love...I never had anyone for me....I had parents, but...but...they were never there...God...I prayed to get an escape...I prayed that somehow I get happiness...I mean this life has been full of struggles Shivaay....Everyone of course faces struggles, but gosh...I have gotten so tired...tired fighting alone...."

My body going still as I heard her words...words that seemingly revealed the soul she was...broken, but beautiful...broken, but brave...broken, but strong...Her tears in an instant revealing her truth...a truth she seemingly hid with her soft smiles and brave eyes...Strength screams from her and to see her soul still broken makes me questions to what level can solely strength heal a broken soul?

"Don't cry Anika...please...Don't spend these precious tears like these hm? Anika? I am here for you...I am right here. Don't you dare break down ok? I am here now...You will never fight alone now..." The words seemingly shocking me as I realized what I had said knowing the truth that I perhaps had just spoken a lie considering what I was going to do two months later...

A soft smile appearing across Anika's lips as she lifted her gaze looking straight into my eyes. Her hands wrapping around mines'. "I-I know...I know you will always be there for me...Fate has blessed me with you and I know...fate will never steal you away from me..." She spoke as she placed her hands on my cheeks before pulling me closer leaving a tender kiss on my temple...My soul soon revolting finding itself at the peak of discomfort upon realization of what a big lie both of us were living in...a lie that now seemingly tied us.

Anika smiled as she looked away towards the nightstand quickly opening the drawer where her small clutch was. Raising my eyebrow, I looked at her puzzled as she kept a smile on her face slowly slipping something out of it and holding it in the palm of her hand. She grabbed a single rose laying on the nightstand before looking back towards me.

Laying the rose next to her bed, she looked back at her palm before clasping on to my hand. A sense of nervousness catching on to her as she opened her palm revealing a small gold ring in her hand. My eyes widening as I immediately looked towards her catching her eyes as they immediately looked into mines' revealing the love she held for me. My hand staying still as Anika smiled and looked at me.

"I know this ring is nothing and not too wildly expensive, but...but...this is not just a ring Shivaay...this ring symbolizes my love for you...a love that will always be yours'...a love that no one can snatch from you not even yourself....This ring symbolizes the fact that now you have captured someone's heart and that now you reside in someone's soul from which you can never part..." Her words laying a soft, cool tenderness to my soul appearing to comfort it as she looked at the ring intently before slipping it against my ring finger sliding down it.

The ring's touch immediately hitting my soul...capturing it an instant and letting it know what has happened...My heart beginning to skip beats as I realized what I have done...Shivaay no. No. Stop. Don't you dare allow her to lure you in...Stop. Remember what she did? Remember? Don't forget your goal....your plan....

The ring seemingly attempting to entwine me into the vows and promises we made tonight as I attempted to pull back not wanting to remind myself of them. My eyes moving towards the rose that Anika picked up in her hand. Her hands grazing against its stem as she looked into my eyes.

"There is nothing else for me to say except that this Anika from now only will only be yours'. This Anika's breaths...heartbeats...soul will only be yours'...This Anika will only live for you...I know we all have flaws and I know that....that we all have a heart that needs to be mended...Well Shivaay....I promise to mend your heart. I promise to mend your soul...I promise to give you the solace that you have always wanted...I love you Shivaay...I love you..." She whispered as I bit my lip feeling her words touch wounds that I haven't wanted to touch in a long time...wounds of a broken family that I belong to...No one has dared to touch these wounds and she wants to mend them?...Why is she like this? Why is she the only who has dared to look at me this way and for once even make me realize how broken I am.

"I love you too Anika..." The words slipping out of my soul without any hesitation. Without pondering over why my soul let the words slip, I grabbed her arm pulling her into a tight embrace. Her hands wrapping around me instantly as she began to cry. Burying my head into her neck, I began to lay a trail of kisses on her shoulders attempting to give her comfort as she sat still appearing to drown herself away, submitting to the moment. My body beginning to waver as I felt her burning touch against me feeling the heat of our bodies melting against one another.

My hand slipping to the nape of her neck as I pulled her slightly back capturing her innocence that always drove me mad...Purity screaming in her eyes inciting passion inside of me as I looked down at her delicate lips that quivered. "I love you..." they spoke once more igniting fire inside of me...a fire to have her as I immediately crashed my lips against hers pulling her against my body as she entangled her hands into my hair further consuming me by her innocent seduction. Biting on to her lower lip, I began to suck on to its sweetness as she slowly responded appearing to have been caught in the moment...realizing what may happen next.

My hand slowly entwining with hers as I felt it continue to waver. Rubbing my hand against her, I attempted to reduce her nerves, but utterly failing at it as her body continued to tremble against mine.

"Love me only...Choose...me...only..." I whispered against her lips as I dipped her in for another kiss as she slowly began to devour the taste of lips capturing their taste. My hand slipping underneath the cloth of her saree, touching the bare skin of her waist as she flinched.

Intimacy...It is essential...considering how she values it...it is essential to shatter her...Do not stop. My mind spoke as our lips continue to feed into each other's desires increasing their pace losing their rhythm as they roughly went against one another. Trailing my hand from her waist to her arm, I slipped my hand to her shoulder feeling the cool metal of the bobby pin holding on to her saree's pallu. Her body instantly going still as she felt the touch of my fingertips against the cloth that draped her...putting a veil on her honor. Slowly letting go of my lips, she lifted her gaze as she looked at me taking a deep breath. Her eyes revealing a deep passion tangled with her innocence as she trailed her hands down my chest keeping them rested right where my heart was.

Our noses brushing against one another as I kept her gaze still in mines'. Her gaze lowering to my lips as she appeared to lean forward. She began to take deeper breaths appearing fazed by the proximity of our bodies...Wrapping my fingertips against the bobbypin, I unhooked it letting it drop to the floor.

Her pallu slipping down her shoulder as she sat still on the bed. A smile appearing across her lips as she lifted her gaze looking into my eyes. "I will always...only choose you...I will always only love you..." She spoke in an instant lighting up my soul. An unusual sense of happiness touching it knowing that she only loved me...that she was only mine.

Her fingertips tiptoeing against my chest as she trailed it to the buttons of my kurta. A soft smile appearing across my lips as I placed my hand behind her head leaning in for another kiss as I pushed my knees against the floor moving myself closer towards her. Her hands running through the bare skin of my chest as one by one she unbuttoned the buttons...Her hands appearing to shake nervously as I leaned forward pushing her further back on to the bed. My lips letting go of hers as I began to kiss each and every inch of her cheeks devouring them before trailing down to her neck as she let out a small moan. Her hands wrapping around my back as she pulled me on to the bed.

Seemingly, her tender innocent touch appeared to be a weapon of seduction as I found myself slowly being pulled by it. Lifting her head up she slowly kissed my neck as I closed my eyes shut with my heart beginning to beat loudly against my chest finding her exotic touch lighting up goosebumps across my skin.

This is what you always wanted and now you have it...you have seduced her...now you will take her precious honor and that will be it...My mind spoke as I felt her lightly suck on the sweet spot on my neck as her lips trembled against it. My hands dragging against her skin feeling her bare waist as her pallu had slipped itself lifelessly on to the bed. Our hands entwining with one another and hitting against the rose petals on the bed as they lifted themselves up only to fall back. Leaning my face closer to hers I wrapped my hand around her waist initiating to lay her down as she lifted her face up before pulling me into a kiss. Our souls letting go of barriers as we slowly began to move towards the step of becoming one...

What are you doing?! Stop! Stop this instant! My soul suddenly screamed rumbling through my body as my lips immediately stopped against hers. The intoxication of vengeance and lust immediately shattering inside of me as my hands clumsily loosened from her waist not wanting to touch her...realizing what I was about to do. Her fingertips digging tightly into my back as she moved herself up hugging me tightly not recognizing what just happened, but seemingly lost in the moment.

My eyes widening as I looked into the darkness of the night, realizing what sin I was about to commit. No. I cannot do this. What was I about to do? My throat tightening as I felt my stomach form a tight knot that dragged itself up and clenched my heart. Taking a deep breath, I felt my body becoming jittery as adrenaline continued to pump through me from the moment.

Slipping my hands away from her waist, I lifted myself off from the bed as Anika slipped her arms away from me appearing startled. My eyes immediately moving away from her as I caught sight of her sitting in front of me with her pallu slipping down on to the floor.

She was taking deep breaths as she clasped her hand against the bed appearing confused.

"W-What's...w-wrong?" She questioned as I ran my hands through my hair feeling extremely uneasy in the moment realizing the sin I was about to commit.

Without saying another word, I looked away and made my way into the bathroom slamming the door shut behind me.

My heart beating loudly against my chest as I began to take deep breaths trying to get rid of a sense of ache that I felt spreading throughout my body. My eyes closing shut, as the night's happenings ran through me...the wedding...the sindoor...that mangalsutra...the image of her standing as my wife in front of me wearing those symbols that mark her as my honor, my pride,...my wife....Oh my God...What have I done?

My hand slipping against my mouth as I looked into the mirror in front of me looking into my reflection. My eyes screaming an interlude of madness and panic as I ran my hand through my chest finding her lipstick marks against the bare skin.

Relax Shivaay. Don't you dare panic. This is not you. This is not you. My mind began to repeat as I quickly turned on the faucet capturing the cold water and splashing it across my face. Focus. Shivaay. Focus. Try to understand why you married her....It is for revenge...a bet...Nothing else. Nothing else. This marriage is meaningless....Marriage is a bond that can never exist...There is no value to this relationship. You yourself have seen it with your parents...so how dare you even think about believing in this bond? This is nothing....Nothing.

Dragging my fingers down my eyes, I looked into the mirror once more. Take your vengeance...Execute the plan, but do not. Do not play with her dignity. Don't you dare go near her. Don't you dare...Show her affection, but nothing more than basic intimacy....It is sin to do such...This is the biggest sin than the ones you have committed and will commit...Do not lower yourself to this level...Do not commit this sin.

Flashback Ends

https://youtu.be/pWT8Snks6oo

"Shivaay!" My body immediately jumping forward as my thoughts shattered. My eyes immediately turning to Anika who wrapped her arms around me tightly burying her face into my chest.

"Anika...Shhh..." I whispered tenderly as I ran my trembling hand through her hair. She whimpered as she began to mumble once more in her sleep. My eyes moving towards the window realizing it was almost dawn.

Sin...That night I was about to sin...But somehow fate stopped me...However, I did commit sin later...Eventually, I did develop intimacy with her and then left her...The thought of it swindling my heart and expelling a bitter, poisonous pain into it.

Did I commit sin tonight? My eyes widening as the question came to my mind. I told the truth! I told the truth! My soul yelled as I lowered my gaze looking at Anika...Memories of tonight twisting themselves back up from the ruins...The tears, the lifelessness, the humiliation...My heart continuing to increase its pace as I realized what Anika had to suffer...

Have I committed sin once again...?

"Don't...hit me...please...please..." Anika whispered as I noticed tears slowly beginning to slip down her cheeks. My hands immediately running against her cheeks as I wiped away her tears. What is she saying? My eyes widening as I remembered how her mother hit her...But the fear that she is showing in her sleep is telling me another story...a story that something worse may have happened...Did her parents abuse her? My heart beginning to pound loudly against my chest as I felt an unusual pain reach up and climb on to my heart imagining Anika and the pain she must have suffered. How dare they do this to her? How dare they leave a finger on her?

Cupping her face into the palms of my hand, I attempted to bring her back to her senses. "Anika...come to your senses... Anika..." I repeated as I looked at her who continued to mumble as she laid her head against my chest.

Dipping the cloth into the cold water I squeezed the water out again before placing it on her forehead. My eyes falling on to the necklace she wore realizing it was making her feel more anxious. Slipping my hands to the back of her neck, I trailed my fingertips to the clasp of the necklace as I loosened it feeling the soft bare skin of her neck. Her heavy earrings appearing to pull her down as I placed my hand on her earlobe delicately slipping them out and placing them on to the nightstand.

"Chaaya...Chaaya...No!...Chaaya..." She began to move her head back and forth as I instantly began to rub her shoulders realizing she was dreaming about Chaaya. Tears slowly making their way into my eyes as I looked at her...seeing a shattered, broken soul that she had attempted to bury for long. Her vulnerability whispering its way out in her mumbles and her tears that continued to run down her cheeks...She has many wounds...wounds that were given by me...only me. A sense of guilt began to twirl itself inside of me as I looked at her.

"Chaaya...save...her...save her..." She spoke as I flinched suddenly realizing what she was likely dreaming about. A set of goosebumps igniting themselves on to my arms as a chill went down my spine remembering the day that I almost lost Chaaya...the day that changed everything...for all the three of us...I know what I did was wrong Anika, but it was needed...I hope you will understand the day I will tell you...

My hand moving down to her back as I began to rub it helping her to calm down as she moved her body closer towards mines'. Closing my eyes shut, I paused my thoughts finding peace in her arms that I hadn't in a long time...Her soft tender touch vanquishing the irritable fire full of worries...madness...that my soul seemingly held....A soft smile appearing across my lips realizing why I did what I did tonight...I know I hurt toy as I revealed the truth in such a manner, but then Anika...I need this...I need this peace...I need you as you are the only one who could give peace to this darkness that still clings to my soul...

Tender sleep slowly took over as I finally found peace.

Anika's Point of View

I felt a weight on my shoulder as my senses filled themselves with a familiar strong, mint cologne that belonged to one man...

"Shivaay..." His name coming out as a hymn from my soul as his touch strung against my skin. My eyes remaining closed as a sense of confusion touched me...What would he be doing in my room? Room?...What room Anika?...Suddenly I began to hear screams...screams belonging to me as memories of last night rushed back...

Filth...dirt...shattering on to my soul entwining with it as each and every memory began to seep into my skin...into my soul.

"Get out! Get out!" My mom's screams lunging at me as my eyes immediately flew open.

My heart beginning to beat wildly against my chest as my breathing began to get shallow. Feeling a sudden chill, I attempted to move my arm, but failing as I felt a weight on my body.

Slowly my vision cleared up as I noticed a pair of arms around me...My eyes moving around realizing that I was not in my room...not my house...my eyes widening remembering what happened last night...Everything. The humiliation...the loss of loved ones...Tears slipping down my cheeks as I lifted my gaze up finding him in front of my eyes...Shivaay.

What am I doing here? Why did he bring me here? My eyes falling down realizing how I was laying on top of him as we leaned back against the bed. Instantly, my eyes jumped back to him realizing the buttons of his shirt were loose...My mind riling itself up submerging itself into panic attempting to remember what exactly happened last night...

Suddenly, I felt a soft touch on my forehead feeling a tender kiss. My eyes widening shocked by his gesture as I felt him pull me closer against him leaning his face into my neck. The touch of his lips sending a chill down my spine as I felt slow bits of heat graze my cheeks making them a flame red. My soul feeling disgust and revulsive as seemingly his filth appeared to rub on to me as I felt a sense of sin touch me.

"Stop...let me go..." I whispered as I looked back capturing sight of him. His lips parted as he began to lightly snore with his eyes closed shut...eyes that spoke sin. His face reflecting an innocence that he demonically played off...He is demonic...There is nothing more to him than that. There is nothing more to admire than that.

My memory hitting me as it brought me back to the past remembering how he always had a subconscious habit to express such soft, brisk touches when we were once...married. A sense of pang erupting inside of my heart realizing what a big mistake I made to fall in love with a man like him. Why couldn't I see it? Why couldn't I capture his darkness? How could I allow myself to come close to him?

"Shivaay...let go..." I repeated once more as I attempted to slip my body out of his, but failing as he leaned back pulling me against his chest burying me in the strong scent of his cologne.

Tracing my hand against his shirt, I pulled on it attempting to awaken him from deep sleep. "Shivaay...Shivaay!" My voice crashing his dreams as his eyes flew open in an instant.

"What?! Are you ok?!" He suddenly exclaimed wrapping his hands around my cheeks as he looked into my eyes. My heart skipping a beat in an instant as I looked into his eyes finding his demonic gaze vanishing as a sense of concern appeared to take over...it was peculiar. Something I hadn't seen in a long time.

Stop Anika...Don't. Don't fall for those eyes that can play off a million of toxic, fascade like emotions. Don't.

My gaze lowering as I slightly turned around looking at the bed realizing it was a mess. The pillows laid on the floor as the covers slipped off the bed and draped the brown carpet. My dupatta laying on the bed lifelessly... My heart beginning to pound as anxiety hit it in an instant...Well nothing particular happened...Jogging my memory, I began to remember parts of it as I began to remember Shivaay was placing cloths on my forehead and then he appeared to hug me, but that was it...I don't think anything else happened.

His hand trailing from my cheek against my forehead as I looked up at him, staring intently at my forehead, confused not understanding what he was doing. "Hmm...Thank God you are better. It's a little less warmer, but still warm...How are you feeling?" He questioned as he placed his hands on my shoulder.

Confusion hitting me as I looked at him not understanding what he meant. My mind drifting off to his question as I reflected upon it. I don't know how I am feeling. Feeling in the sense of my body that continues to vomit almost every day and the fact that my throat is a bit scratchy from a possible flu. Or feeling in the sense that my soul has...a lifeless feeling as if the last bit of life it carried with a sense of dignity and honor was stripped from it now just leaving it bare for everyone to mold their filth on to it making it feel as if it's the most vile being taken birth.

"Anika?...How are you?" Shivaay's voice breaking my thoughts as I felt a tear run down my cheek. So he asks who is the one who is the reason for this torturous suffering that continues to touch this sinful soul not letting it live.

"W-What a-am I-I...doing here?" My eyes lifting up as I revealed my tears to him letting him know what a soul he shattered...he has a right to see these tears.

His eyes appearing to soften, perhaps part of his charade, as he placed his hands on mine.

"I-I found you unconscious outside of your house last night, so I brought you here in the hotel ..." He whispered softly as I immediately looked away snatching my hands out of his grasp not wanting to feel their touch knowing what they had done.

"W-What h-happened here...last night?" A sense of nervousness touching my body as it felt a sense of weakness wanting to know what happened to me as I felt my head continuing to spin with nausea fulfilling it just it has been for the last couple of days...I wonder what happened to my health last night. I mean I did faint suddenly and then got a fever.

"What do you mean?" His voice changing sternly as I immediately looked back confused. His gaze appearing to lower as he looked me up and down appearing to gauge on to what I was thinking. A sense of discomfort touching me as I felt his intense gaze appearing to peer on to my features.

My hand immediately snatching the dupatta form the bed as I threw it across my neck not wanting a stranger's gaze to be set upon me...He is a stranger...He became a stranger the moment he decided to throw our dirt in the public which hit me and stripped me of my honor.

Shivaay immediately got off from the bed as anger touched him. "What the hell?! How can you even think I would do something like this?! Are you out of your mind Anika?! You out of all people should know I am not like this..." He exclaimed as his voice showed a sense of panic and anger. Wait...what is he thinking? I looked at him confused as I began to piece the puzzle realizing that he might just be thinking the opposite.

He began to take deep breaths as he began to pace back and forth next to the bed with his hands running through his hair finding himself at a loss of words not knowing how to react.

Pulling my knees up to my chest, I felt tears beginning to stream down my cheeks feeling a slight sense of fear from his sudden outburst. How could he think I would think of him like this? I know one thing that he is demonic...he is a beast...but he would never do this.

"I-I...k-know y-you wouldn't do something like this...God, I just want to know what happened last night to me! I don't feel well!" I began to take shallower breaths as I laid my head on my knees feeling it spin. My stomach building nausea that slowly touched me.

How could he think I would think this low of him? Shivaay would never do this...Despite how he is, I know he would never do this...My hands slowly running through my body knowing no one touched it last night...My mind slowly tracing back my memory as I began to remember him placing a cloth on my head...whispering that I would be fine...then I would murmur...then he took off my earrings...loosened my necklace...that was it...I sighed realizing nothing happened as my conscious awoke me making me remember how my body had lost the energy to fight despite my mind was awake in the moment.

Shivaay sighed as he took a deep breath shaking his head taking in sight of me. "I would never do this to you. Never. Last night you had a severe fever and I brought you here and took care of you. Nothing else alright?!" He exclaimed as I looked at him finding truth to his words which I already knew were there.

He began to walk away before I grabbed his hand making him stop. "I-I...know...I know you would never do something like this...You understood me wrong...I know nothing happened alright? I remember most parts of last night and I know nothing happened...I just wanted to know what was wrong with me..." I spoke as he slowly moved his gaze towards me looking into my eyes. His eyes appearing to soften as I held on to his hand letting him know I trusted him in this instance...but nothing else. This is the only place where he is not demonic...My mind wandering to our first wedding night remembering what happened...

A soft smile appearing across Shivaay's lips as he looked away. "Stay here and relax. I am going to order you breakfast ok?" He spoke as he slipped his hand away from mines' walking out the room.

A sense of exhausation taking over me as I watched him walk away...What am I doing? Why am I talking so normally to him knowing what he did yesterday....knowing how without even touching me, he snatched my honor through lifting our secret out of the grave and putting it on display for the world to see.

Shaking my head, I wrapped my arms around my knees placing my head there as tears slowly streamed down my cheeks. I know you would never stoop to this level Shivaay...this is one thing I trust you in...but then why did you ruin my trust in everything else? Why? Why couldn't you hold on to my love? Why did you have to break me like this? You claim to love me then why did you ruin me?...I felt a sense of loneliness slowly clasp on to my heart as I remembered what happened last night...How my own family abandoned me not once listening to the truth of my words...how Shivaay humiliated me in front of everyone claiming we were in love...Does he even realize the severity of this situation? Does he even realize what he has done? What love does he have?...He doesn't love me...its an obsession and sadly he is not getting out of it.

My eyes lifting as I looked at the hotel room realizing how it was eeringly similar to the room we spent our first wedding night...the same walls, the bed,...everything...A chill going down my spine as I remembered that night...You kept my dignity that night then what happened now? Why did you decide to humiliate me last night in front of everyone?...Why didn't your soul flinch last night like it did that night? My eyes slowly closing as the memory slowly came back...

Flashback

https://youtu.be/NKxgvYsGLVM

With trembling hands, I dragged my saree's pallu from the floor placing it on to my shoulder as I slowly looked back towards the door where Shivaay had held himself in.

A sense of confusion touching me as my body continued to tremble in nervousness. The moment the idea set in that tonight was going to be an intimate night, my body has gone into overdrive continuing to ruminate over what will happen...I never have been this close to any man before...and indeed the thought makes me very nervous and anxious despite knowing that everything is right...he is my husband...and we love one another...but still I have this sense of fear that is not letting me go.

But, why did he just leave? Did I do something wrong? I thought as I fidgeted with my hands nervously with my face becoming warmer minute by minute remembering how close we were...towards becoming one. I felt my cheeks flame another shade of red as I felt my heart skipping beats thinking what would happen...I love him, but still I am so scared of what will happen...I sighed as I trailed my hands against my mangalsutra slightly smiling as I realized that now I was claimed to be his forever...this mangalsutra is a symbol of marriage, but also a symbol of our love...this mangalsutra symbolizes the fact that now I will always be his...always.

Suddenly, the door opened as I immediately looked up meeting his gaze. His eyes lowering as he looked away as if he didn't want to see me... I looked at him puzzle not being able to comprehend the sudden change in his demeanor.

Shivaay made his way towards the cart in the corner of room where a decorated array of alcohol laid. My eyes widening as I watched him proceed to opening the bottle of whiskey and pour it in a glass. How can he do this? On the night of our wedding he is drinking...He is an occasional drinker, but still I do not like it and he knows it well.

Taking a large sip of whiskey, he poured himself another one as I shook my head immediately getting up from the bed and grabbing a hold of his arm. "You promised to not drink tonight Shivaay...please do not drink..." I spoke gently as he lifted his gaze towards me revealing a sense of darkness in them...a peculiar sense of anger that I had never seen before...Suddenly he snatched his hand from mines' as I immediately stumbled back. My hand grabbing on to the nightstand as I attempted to balance myself. A sense of shock running through me as I immediately looked towards him not being able to understand his sudden change in behavior.

Taking another sip of bitterness, he looked back towards me. His eyes appearing threatening making a chill go down my spine. "Don't you dare ever command me any shape or form...You are my wife, but it doesn't mean you have gotten an automatic right to tell me what I can or should do," He hissed, looking at me with a piercing gaze that set a sense of panic inside of me. My heart speeding up as I felt my breathing get deeper...my anxiety has been in control lately, but right now I can feel it building itself back up from fear...fear of the sudden change that it has seen in the man I am married to.

A sense of eeriness appearing to embrace him as he looked at me. He took a step towards me as I stood still lowering my gaze feeling as if just merely looking at him may trigger him. "Do you understand Anika? Do you understand what limits you have as my wife?" His voice appearing to slash the last sacred word as I immediately looked up at him attempting to gauge on to his thoughts and this puzzling behavior he was projecting.

"Understand?" He repeated as he looked into my eyes. Feeling as if I didn't agree, something worse would happen, I decided to agree with his words knowing it was best to keep peace for tonight considering it was our first night together...But, it doesn't mean I will listen to him. As his wife, I will do everything to ensure he is on the right path.

"Y-yes," I barely spoke as I looked away feeling a sense of anger over the fact how he was behaving with me knowing that I was his newly wedded bride. We have bonded ourselves in a sacred relationship and he is commanding me as if I am not an equal to him...which is something I do not accept.

Don't say anything Anika...Don't let your anger ruin the night...I thought as I looked towards him who walked away towards the bottle of alcohol ready to drown himself in it once more.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to gather my patience as I walked to the other side of the bed taking a seat. My eyes following the dark night that stood still outside as I looked into it attempting to not say a word...Tears slowly building up in my eyes as I stared at Shivaay's reflection in the window as he continued to drink and contemplate upon his thoughts...One moment, he was holding me so close to his heart and now suddenly he is aloof...How can he behave in such manner on our wedding night? He loves me...then why doesn't he care how I am feeling right now?...This moment is supposed to be about us...only us and our love for one another.

Leaning back against the back of the bed, I pulled my knees up to my chest as I laid my head there continuing to soak in the dimmed moonlight that peaked out of the clouds. Tears slipping down my cheeks as I bit my lip attempting to not make any noise and attract his attention considering he might still be upset.

How can he behave such way knowing how much I have gone through to make him mine?...I have left everything...my parents...my pride...for him...How can he be so cold knowing how much I have sacrificed for him?

"Anika?" I sat still not saying a word as I heard him call out to me once more. My eyes staring into his reflection of window as he appeared to place his glass down before beginning to walk towards me.

My toes recoiling themselves back as I felt him take a seat in front of me. His hand trailing against my leg as I pulled it back feeling slightly angry at him for how he just behaved with me. "Anika...I...Look it's been a long day today and I...I just got frustrated in the moment..." He spoke appearing to look for words, but failing to find them.

His hand trailing to mine as I kept it still on my knee not moving it once. "Anika...come on don't be like this..." He whispered as I immediately looked up at him furrowing my eyebrows.

"Acha? So I cannot be angry, but you can? You can be any way you want and not me?" I snapped as Shivaay's eyes widened appearing surprised by the sudden bolt of anger that slipped out from me.

A small smile appearing across his lips as he forcefully slipped his hand into mine entwining his fingers into it. "Acha ji...so you also get angry on small things? Now this is something I have not seen before," He noted teasingly as I threw a glare at him.

"Small thing? What small thing? This is our first night together as husband and wife and I just wanted that...that we spend it together with positivity...happiness...not this bitter poison," I spoke angrily as I looked up towards him.

Shivaay's eyes appearing to soften as he lowered his gaze appearing to think about something. "Anika...look...all of this is new to me. I just don't like it when someone tells me what to do...I have always been independent and spent this life practically all alone on my own, so...you have to understand me..." He kept his gaze lowered as I looked at him finding a sense of honesty in his words.

Shivaay knows a lot about me and family, but I don't know anything about him...I know his likes, dislikes, and how he is as a person, but I don't know anything about his family and the type of environment he has grown up in, perhaps, there is more to him that makes him snap like this sometimes. Anika, give him the benefit of the doubt...don't let this small thing ruin such a beautiful day...this is such a beautiful moment in your life.

"But now I am part of your life Shivaay...I know this is all new, but now it our duty to protect one another, comfort one another...and...love one another," I spoke as I tugged on his hand grabbing his attention.

A soft smile appearing across Shivaay's lips as he lifted his hand wiping away the tears on my cheeks. "I love you," He spoke as my eyes widened caught off guard from hearing his sudden confession. He let out a chuckle as he grabbed my hand laying a tender kiss on it.

"Surprised by the sudden confession?" He questioned as I rolled my eyes with a smile beginning to play across my lips.

"Perhaps...considering you say it occasionally," I replied as Shivaay let out a small laugh before leaning forward placing his hand on my cheek.

"Then I will say it every day...each morning and each night," He spoke as I felt my cheeks heat up as he chuckled before laying a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I love you Anika..." He spoke once more as I let out a small giggle feeling giddy in the moment as shyness and an intoxication of love overtook me in the moment.

"Ok...now you do look beautiful even when you cry, but I don't want anymore tears...Alright?" He ordered as he got up making his way to the small dressing table in front.

"What are you doing?" I questioned curiously as he walked back towards me holding a small gold colored bag.

He smiled as he took a seat next to me. "I think these will bring your beautiful smile back," He spoke as he took out a black box followed by another small one. I looked at him puzzled as he looked back towards me opening the black box. My mouth gaping open in an instant as I looked at the box in shock not expecting the surprise.

A beautiful ruby necklace set with a large ruby ring encircled with diamonds laid in the box catching my breath in an instant. My eyes immediately moving towards Shivaay as he smiled before moving the box towards him and slipping out a ruby ring that was part of the set.

"W-What is this? I...No...I cannot take this!" I exclaimed immediately distancing myself from the box knowing that I definitely was not going to take it as it looked too expensive.

Shivaay looked at me confused, "Why do you not want it? I mean you do not like it or something?" He questioned as I shook my head.

"No...It's beautiful Shivaay...I mean I cannot take this. It looks too expensive and I definitely do not want something so expensive. I am probably going to lose it or break it knowing how I am. Please return it or something!" I exclaimed nervously as Shivaay let out a small chuckle as he grabbed my hand from my knee placing it in his.

His eyes capturing me an instant as they appeared to observe me finding pecularities. "Why are looking at me like this?" I questioned innocently as he smiled running my fingertips against his lips making me blush in an instant from his seductive touch.

"Because...you are so different from any woman I have met before...All my life I have seen women run after these type of luxuries as they appear to define them and you...don't. You define yourself by who you are and what your soul speaks..." He spoke as his words touched the drums of my heart making it speed up upon hearing its admiration. Biting my lip, I hid a smile as I looked at Shivaay.

Shivaay placed his lips against the palm of hands laying another kiss before slipping the ruby ring down my finger. "Shivaay please don't," I spoke and before I could say more Shivaay pulled me into an embrace.

His lips trailing against the side of my neck leaving butterflies fluttering inside of me feeling his nose tickle against my skin. "Shivaay stop!" I yelled giddingly as I continued to giggle burying my head into his shoulder.

"These rubies, diamonds, solitares...are worth nothing in front of you. Hm?...But, this is all I have and so now I will lay the world at your feet knowing its worth nothing in front you, but having it the only way to proclaim my love for you..." He spoke as his words raveled themselves around my heart making it feel loved...protected...care for that hasn't happened in a long time. No one has ever expressed their love for me the way he has. Indeed, this is what has been the cause of that empty hallow feeling that I have carried for years.

Placing my hand on his cheek, I turned his face towards me as I looked into his eyes. "I don't need anything Shivaay, but just your love...Love can be expressed in the simplest gestures and that will be enough for me..." I whispered as he smiled wrapping his hand around my cheek as he pulled me closer towards him. His warm breath heating up my cheeks as my gaze lowered on to his lips.

"I love you Shivaay...I love you more than anything or anyone...Words cannot describe the love that beats inside of me...a love that now has become entwined with this soul..." My voice barely breaking through slowly leaning closer towards him and without any hesitance capturing his lips. My body trembling with a sense of nervousness considering this was the first time I had made the initiation, but knowing it was right as now he is now only mine...and now I have rights that I could impose on him. His lips appearing to form a smile as he began to run his hand through my hair allowing me to lead the way as I slowed down the moment allowing me to taste each and every sweetness of his lips that was mixed with the bitter taste of alcohol...His lips tasted bittersweet just like him...and that is what I love about him...He isn't perfect, but he admits his flaws showing them proudly without hesitation...He holds a sense of darkness yet uses it to protect me...Most of all he loves me.

My lips continuing to quiver against his as I felt my hands clumsingly tracing the bare skin of his chest feeling jittery from realizing what could happen next. His body pressing against mine as he pushed me to the back of bed increasing the pace of our kisses as I wavered under his seductive touch that executed dominance. My hands wrapping around his neck as I pulled him closer as he slipped his lips away from mines' grazing them against my skin as he began to leave soft, tender kisses across my cheeks as I blushed taking deep breaths attempting to calm my nerves.

Suddenly, his hands appeared to loosen once more as his lips slid against my cheek as he took a large sigh. My hands sliding down his chest as I immediately turned my face towards him confused on why he stopped.

"W-What's wrong? Am I...I doing s-something w-wrong?...I..." I began to stutter not knowing what to say as I pulled my pallu up once more feeling mortified in the moment realizing I was the inexperienced one in the relationship considering he was the one with many girlfriends of the past. I probably am nothing compared to them in this matter and probably that's why he is backing away.

Shivaay took a deep breath as he ran his hands through his hair before grabbing on to my hand. I bit my lip as I kept my gaze lowered not wanting to look up. "No...Don't you dare think that this is about you...I...I just want to give you the value that you deserve....Look this is your first time and I definitely don't want to rush things for you. Anika...I don't want you to pursue something so you could show your love for me...I know you love me, so you don't have to pursue this for the sake of it..." He spoke as my eyes immediately shot up. A weak smile appearing across my lips as his words made their way towards me providing a sense of peace to my anxious nerves that were running haywire at the moment.

"I want this moment to be special for you...not nerve wracking or anything...We just got married and all of this is new for you and it's best we take things slow...It's best we pursue this when you are more fully ready..." He spoke as my smile widened as a sense of pride awakened inside of me to have him as my husband. He understands me more than anyone and cares for me and my feelings rather than about himself...Indeed, I was nervous tonight and he is perhaps right that right now I am not fully ready....and he's willing to wait. I smiled and in an instant I pulled him into a tight hug.

"And this is why I love you...You're always thinking about me before you...You have so much respect for me...I must have done some good deed to have gotten you," I spoke as I laid a kiss on his chest as I noticed him smiling with his hands wrapped around me tightly.

"Now are we going to sleep now because I am tired!" Shivaay exclaimed as he pulled me down on to the bed wrapping his arms tightly around my waist as I giggled laying my head against his chest laying another kiss right where his heart was.

Trailing my hands against his arm, I pulled myself up looking down towards him as the moonlight fell upon his face sharpening his features that further enticed me. His hand trailing against my cheek as he placed a strand of hair behind my ear.

"As I promised, I will say an I love you now before we sleep and an I love you when we get up in the morning...so I love you Mrs. Anika Shivaay Singh Oberoi..." He spoke loud and proud as I giggled before leaning down and laying a kiss on his temple.

"And I love you too Mr. Shivaay Singh Oberoi..." I whispered as he smiled before pulling me into another kiss.

Flashback Ends

https://youtu.be/lnS40UF-yCM

That night you maintained my dignity even though later everything did change...we did develop intimacy, but that was mutual...in those moments emotions got the best of the both of us...How could I say I didn't feel anything from you? And how could I say that you didn't feel anything for me? I know you felt something for me...I know those moments were genuine. I still remember the way you looked at me in those intimate moments...And my heart tells me that not everything was a lie...maybe somewhere you did love me...But then why would that matter now considering what you have done?...

What happened Shivaay? That night...you had some humanity that pushed you away from me telling you how wrong you were, but what happened last night?...Why didn't you stop once before deciding to humiliate me...shattering my honor...in front of everyone...Even strangers now know about us and now even they will look at me with these eyes...these perverted eyes that would make me feel filthy...what have you done? After what you have done to me...I don't think I will be ever able to love you...Ever.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to wipe my tears, but failing as they wouldn't stop. The mortifying humiliation that I bore last night is not letting me touch peace...My soul is still wavering and turning wanting to escape after what has happened to it.

I sighed as I looked into the darkness that spread across the room thinking about my family...They should've listened to me...I know I committed a mistake by not telling them the truth, but they should've believed me that there is nothing between Shivaay and I...I don't understand why they failed to believe me considering they know me the best...

I wonder how they are right now? My thoughts going back to Dad realizing how had his blood pressure had risen last night...I hope he is ok considering he already has gotten very sick before...I hope Mom is ok...I wonder if they are thinking about taking me back? Maybe they are looking for me? Probably not Anika...Probably not. You know them. Last time when you ran away, not once did they call you...You were the one who called them many months later only to hear them say that they didn't want to talk to you or see you anymore. Considering what has happened last night, I don't think they will ever turn towards me.

Hearing a loud knock on the bedroom door, I peered up watching Shivaay walk towards the door opening it as someone brought a cart inside.

Placing my hand on my mouth I looked away immediately feeling revulsed from seeing the food on the cart as it smell of pepper and sweetness mixed together spread across the room. What is happening to me? Suddenly a cramp in my womb appeared as I placed my hand on it...

"How is your pregnancy?" The question suddenly erupting in my mind as that peculiar woman's face appeared in front of my eyes who I saw last week at the hospital...My eyes widening as I remembered her prediction.

The question suddenly setting off my heart as I began to feel it beat quickly against my chest as my face began to redden. No. It's not possible...The chances are low...But then, what if it is true?...Seemingly, the thought disappeared as my mind focused on the wedding and my guilt over the sin I was going to commit...however...the symptoms have not fully gone away since then...

Placing my hand on my head, I began to ponder over the possibility as I felt my womb cramp once again...No. This cannot be...fate cannot punish me in such way...A sudden rush of worry began to tie me up as I felt it latch on to me. A fear seemingly touching...seemingly real.

"Anika...here have some breakfast..." Shivaay spoke as he brought the cart closer to the bed. Shaking my head, I looked away feeling more nauseous even thinking about eating.

Morning sickness? Check. My mind spoke tauntingly as my eyes widened realizing the pattern of symptoms that as a doctor I was ignoring. As a doctor, how could I neglect this? Has my anxiety wrapped around my mind and consumed it to a point that I am failing to see reality?

Shivaay slowly sat down on the bed as he looked at me while I attempted to take deep breaths with my mind consumed with fear about what was to come. "Anika, look...I know I have...hurt you...and I know you are upset, but let's talk about this after you eat alright? For now forget everything and eat...You look so pale and frail...come on eat something ok?" His hand immediately grabbing on to mines' as I flinched suddenly startled by his touch that reminded me of that night...that vile, lustful night when everything happened...when the possible blessing caught me as it escaped from divine fate to make its way into my womb...A part of him and me...

Suddenly, I took a gasp as I felt something crawl up my throat intending to sprad its venom. My hand clasping on to my mouth tightly as I immediately got up from the bed quickly running towards the bathroom barely able to balance myself as my head continued to spin.

"Anika! Anika are you ok?!" I heard Shivaay call as I quickly ran towards the toilet ready to puke the bitter poison that was making its way out of me.

Blood rushing to my face as an awful set of chills began to run up and down in rhythms in my body. Taking another gasp, suddenly my body threw out the poison as I began to vomit.

Feeling a warm touch on my back, I looked through my side realizing it was Shivaay. His hand gripping on to my back as I continued to spill the poison out of me. My body going weak as I felt my muscles trembling from the sudden shock that my body jumped into.

"Shh...It's ok...I am here...Ok?" I heard Shivaay whisper as he ran his hand through my hair.

Tears beginning to spill out of my eyes as suddenly I felt a sense of vulnerability realizing how in this moment I was so alone that I was finding comfort at the hands of a man who is cause of this loneliness...who ruined me...And now further reckoning may be written in my fate if indeed fate decides to lay a blessing...

My body continued to spill the poison out as Shivaay knelt down and held my hair back slowly rubbing my shoulder. His touch seemingly making me more nauseous as I couldn't bear it...His touch reminding me of sin...sin we committed that night and sin he committed yesterday.

"It's ok...You will be fine alright," He softly spoke unaware of the fact that perhaps now I will never be fine...perhaps this is not a transient disease, but something bigger...this is a small life that perhaps is screaming to let you and me know that it is present and will now soon come.

Suddenly, the poison began to vanquish...the gasps taking themselves back as my stomach recoiled into normality. My hands collapsing on to the ground feeling feeble as my head began to spin in large waves.

As Shivaay flushed the toilet, he wrapped his arms around me. My arm immediately wrapping around his waist asking for help as my mind continued to spin. "Come here...let me help you ok?" He spoke as with all his force, he helped me get up from the ground reminding me of the time he would tend to do such when I was pregnant with Chaaya...My eyes closing shut as I remembered her attempting to not awaken the memory knowing it would only worsen this grave of sadness that I am carrying.

A sense of fraility touching me as I began to remember the similarities of this moment to many moments of past when I was pregnant with Chaaya where my health had spiraled downwards just like what was happening now except may be worse.

"Anika...talk to me...Are you ok? Should we go to the urgent care clinic? It is Sunday, but they are open and just a few minutes away from here," Shivaay noted as he helped me get to the sink turning on the faucet.

Shaking my head, I cupped my palm under the warm water before allowing it to run into my mouth.

"Anika...you are not looking good. You look so pale and now you are vomiting. You should see a doctor considering you had a high fever last night as well," He spoke as I shook my head once more before grabbing the toothbrush and opening it from its packaging.

Suddenly I heard a loud sound, my body immediately jumping back as Shivaay appeared to have slammed his hand hard against the marble counter. His face turning a deeper shade of red as I gulped nervously taking a step back realizing I had triggered him. "Why are you so stubborn?! Listen to me! You do not look well! Alright?! Come with me now!" He exclaimed as his voice echoed in the large bathroom.

Glancing away from him, I quickly opened the toothpaste in an attempt to ignore him as I have pretty much become used to these outbursts knowing how he is.

Suddenly I felt him grab on to my arm turning me towards him. He furrowed his eyebrows as I looked away trying to force my arm out of his grip.

"Let go of me!" I ordered as Shivaay held on to it pulling me closer towards him. His proximity adding a sense of disgust as I remembered his ill intentions that he put on display last night when he decided to mortify me in public.

"No I won't! I am worried about you!" He exclaimed as suddenly a smile appeared across my lips hearing his lie...Worry? He is worried about me?...He is the reason why I am standing here like this as a beggar...finding comfort in the roof he has offered me because he is the reason why everything got stolen from me last night...all in a minute. If he was worried about me then he wouldn't have done what he did yesterday...He told the truth, but the manner he told it in and then spoke a lie about our "love" is what he did wrong...and now he says he worried about me?

Raising his eyebrow, he looked at me curiously "Why are you smiling?" He questioned as he slipped his hand away from my arm.

Lifting my gaze, I looked into his eyes finding that unusual madness they held previously appearing to disappear...however, what I can see is his selfish toxic ego that he seemingly has and that isn't allowing him to see he has done.

"Says he is worried about his love who is the reason to ruin his love...Why shall he worry knowing he himself poisoned his lover's soul?..." The words slipping out from my heart as they appeared to touch that ego that his soul wonderfully embraced.

My words appearing to capture that ego as his mind appeared to go still. Silence overcoming him as he looked into my lifeless eyes attempting to piece the puzzle that my words had spoken.

A tear trailed its way down my cheek as I smiled looking into my reflection in the mirror observing my tears as they glistened on a pale face from where the soul escaped. My eyes blood shot red as my lips continue to quiver in sets of chills running through my body. My hands tracing my hair as I ran through their death seeing loss of life.

"Anika..." He whispered as he took a step behind me looking into the mirror as I kept the smile looking towards his reflection. His eyes appearing to soften as he grazed his eyes over me appearing to take in the fraility and vulnerability my soul proudly held on display as it had nothing else to hold on to anymore.

"What more do you want to say after breaking me bit my bit and piece by piece?" I whispered as I looked into his eyes. His gaze lowering as my words appeared to silence his thoughts questioning him and his actions...Somewhere I hope one day he realizes what he has done...someday he realizes what his ego made him do...someday he realizes that he is not a good man.

Suddenly a loud knock awakened the silence between us as Shivaay's head shot up immediately looking towards the door before back at me. Looking away, I quickly placed the toothpaste on the toothbrush as I began to brush my teeth not once looking towards him. He sighed as he walked out of the bathroom without saying another word.

My eyes lowering to my womb as I stared at it...a sense of silence dancing inside of me not allowing me to comprehend or listen to my mind or heart...What if I am pregnant? What will I do? Who will I turn to?...Will it be Shivaay?....The question igniting fear inside of me as cupped water into the palm of my hand and gargled it.

The thought of carrying his child creating trails of fear inside of me...His child. The memories of last night coming forward as I remembered the madness...the obsession...all screaming from his eyes as he proceeded to ruin me without shame...Will our child be like that as well? Will my child be like him?....I took a deep breath as I shook my head leaning against the counter praying that my fears are untrue...praying that it is just a bout of anxiety and nothing else...Praying that I shall not be pregnant. Have I not already seen the worst?...Haven't I already been ruined?...Then why is fate ruining me more?

"What are you doing here?!" Shivaay's voice catching a hold of my attention as I looked out into the bedroom hearing a set of voices.

Grabbing my hair I twisted it back into a loose bun as I wrapped my dupatta around me tightly making my way out of the bathroom. Curiosity making its way to me as I heard a familiar set of voices in the living area that followed out from the bedroom.

Slowly tip toeing, I walked towards the living area suddenly stopping startled as I saw the sight in front of me. My eyes widening as I stumbled back holding on to the wall realizing who it was.

Pinky aunty and Daadi...What are they doing here? My heart beginning to pound loudly against my chest as I immediately leaned against the wall in an attempt to hide myself. My mind going blank as I placed my hand on my chest in thinking what to do. Oh my God, what if they see me here? What will they think? What will they say? My mind beginning to spin as I closed my eyes praying that they would not see me...praying the moment will end in an instant.

"Get out! For God's sake just get out!" Shivaay yelled loudly as he paced back and forth in the living room appearing quite angry from the loud footsteps that slammed themselves against the wooden floor there.

Digging my feet into the carpet of the bedroom, I clasped my hand on my mouth attempting to ensure they would not hear me.

"What do you mean we should get out?! We are your family and we have a right to know where you are. We were worried where you disappeared since last night," Pinky aunty exclaimed as I peered out seeing Shivaay throwing his head up in the air frustrated.

"Oh please! Don't give me these nonsensical excuses. You have never given a damn where I go and how long I have disappeared. You never did! So, tell me what are you doing here?" Shivaay questioned as he crossed his arms looking at both his mother and grandmother.

Daadi took a deep breath as she shook her head looking back towards Pinky aunty appearing to indicate that their supposed lie was not going to work.

"So, tell me what you both are doing here? Daadi at least you can tell me the truth," Shivaay remarked as Daadi looked up towards him with a guilty look.

"Shivaay beta...look...This reputation that the Oberoi family has, has been intact since many years...Of course your hard work has brought a new pride to the Oberoi Empire which has further strengthened our reputation, pride, and honor in society. But, beta...what you are doing now is wrong. You shouldn't be destroying yourself like this," Daadi spoke as I lowered my gaze realizing what or who she may be referring to...me.

"Oh please stop beating around the bush Ma. Look, we are here to get that hex out of your life. We know she is here!" Pinky aunty spat as my body went numb with panic setting in second by second realizing what was going to happen next.

Oh my God. They are here to find me...Clenching on to my dupatta tightly I stood still as my hand immediately ran to my womb taking deep breaths in fear of what would happen to not only me, but the possible innocent life inside of me remembering the pure anger and disgust all of them displayed last night.

"What are you both saying?! Get out right now! Get out!" Shivaay screamed loudly as suddenly I heard footsteps getting louder. My eyes closing shut as I felt the footsteps coming closer and closer...towards me.

Suddenly, eyes flew open as the large force grabbed my arm swinging me across the room towards the bed. My head immediately turning as I caught sight of Pinky aunty fuming with relentless anger as she appeared ready to lunge upon me.

"There she is! Look Ma! Look we found this hex who has become a curse on our family!" Pinky aunty yelled as tears began to stream down my cheeks hearing the bitter words she began to spit on to the bits of dignity that my soul desperately was holding on to.

My head shooting back towards Daadi who stood next to her appearing to give me a threatening gaze as she looked at me up and down with disgust. Her gaze making goosebumps slowly rise on to my body as fear touched me...what if she does something to me or...? My eyes lowering to my womb as I looked up towards her. Her sense of disgust touching me as I ran my free hand across my stomach attempting to protect the one that may be inside of it from seeing how the world perceived its mother.

"Let her go!" Shivaay yelled as he immediately dashed towards Pinky aunty who pulled me back once more.

Pinky aunty's grasp tightening on my arm as felt her nails leaving a mark on to skin. She looked up at her son appearing disappointed and disgusted with his actions. "Let her go? How can we let her go?! She is the reason why people are questioning us today and asking what kind of a family we are that not only nurtured our son's secret marriage, but also the fact allowed our son to begin an affair with his ex-wife who was engaged to his cousin. Do you know what the world is saying right now?! Do you know how the world is looking at you today?!" Pinky aunty yelled as Shivaay clenched his jaw tightly holding on to his last bit of patience as anger flashed across his face reaching into the core of his souls reflected in his bloodshot eyes.

"Why only blame him?! Look at her! This girl is truly deplorable...a curse... I never thought Anika you would turn out to be this way. You spent the night here with a man who is a stranger to you by all means! Disgusting...I am shocked what low class girls like you can do for money!" Daadi spat as I immediately looked up at her shocked hearing her words. Her words soiling the edges of my bare soul engraving itself into it letting it know its worth...which was nothing not even a penny. The small bits of pride and honor that I was holding on slipping away from hearing her words that devalued me in an instant.

What is she saying? What is she trying to imply? How can she think this? My eyes moving towards Shivaay as he looked back towards me...See what you have done...Look Shivaay...look at what you have done to me....look at what you have made everything think about me...look at how the world see's me now because of you...I bit my lip trying to hold my tears, but failing as they escaped from me.

"Acha look! Now she is showing these crocodile tears! Hm! Ma this is how she trapped our Shivaay before and now again. Look at her!...To think that we thought to get Shivaay married to her...Thank God, I found out how low class her family was and how they were on the roads for a long time before associating our family with them," Pinky aunty taunted as I shook my head in an attempt to deny her accusations, but knowing it was no use considering that their perception was solely formed from what Shivaay had showed to the media...of course they would believe his false lie that we are in a relationship...of course they would believe it. But, somewhere their words still hurt like piercing thorns considering that they have met me so many times and still think such low of me despite seeing that I am nowhere close to what they are claiming me to be.

"I spit at such girls! Such loose character such girls have!" Daadi spoke. My body standing still as her deadly words pierced poison into me. My heart beginning to ache not bearing the filth that was being thrown at its owner...A sense of life disappearing as no emotions appeared to touch me. Her words easily slipping into me as if my soul was accepting the label...beginning to believe that indeed my character was loose.

"Stop! Don't you dare!" Shivaay yelled as his voice resounded amongst us making me suddenly shake as I began to cry clasping my hand on to my mouth not being able to bear the humiliation of one thing...one cherished valuable I had...my honor.

Shivaay took a step forward as he immediately grabbed my hand snatching me away from Pinky aunty's grasp. I stood still as I felt his hand entwine into mines' clasping on to it tightly as he took a step in front of me facing Daadi and Pinky aunty. My eyes sitting still on the floor not able to look up at any of them as the dignity that allowed me to do such was no longer there.

"I warned you all to not dare to question her character and still you all had the audacity to do such! How dare you?! How dare you question her purity with your filthy, dirty words? How dare you being women disrespect her in such manner?!" He yelled as I closed my eyes shut not being able to bear the mockery that I was becoming...

"Anika is my pride! My honor! She is mine! You both have no right to play with my pride...my honor!" He spat as I looked up finding hypocrisy screaming from the sickening being. His Pride? His Honor? How can he say all of this despite knowing he has stripped me of all these key ornaments that my soul lauded...How can he forget so easily what he has done? Does he not realize his mistake?

"Acha? Pride? Honor? Who is she to be your pride and honor?! Huh?...Who is she?...Nothing. She is nothing! You never gave such respect to Tia who was your wife. You never gave Tia her rights by pursuing any means of intimacy with her and yet you dare to book a hotel room and claim your intimate rights upon this girl who has no relationship with you!" Immediately I looked up towards Pinky aunty puzzled and disgusted all the same time...No intimacy with Tia?...My eyes widening as I looked at Shivaay who slowly looked back towards me appearing to take notice of what I was thinking.

"It is because of your lack of interest in Tia that led her to pursue an extramarital affair!...Now when I think of it...Was your lack of interest because of this girl?! Was it?!" Pinky aunty questioned as my mind began to spin hearing the words of truth reveling themselves out of her mouth.

Shivaay and Tia...they had no intimacy?...What? My mind beginning to trail back to the set of memories...as I began to trace back trying to remember what happened in the past...Remembering the convoluted, complex relationship the three of us shared...my hatred for her...The way she dared to flirt with Shivaay...and how I had suspicions on Shivaay and Tia...was I wrong? Lifting my eyes I looked towards Shivaay who stood still not saying a word as he appeared to be lost in his thoughts.

Even if him and Tia didn't have intimacy...why should I concern myself with it? Why would it matter to me?...It shouldn't. I don't give a damn about him and what happened in his second marriage. I have no right considering it was his marriage and considering Tia is now dead...there is no use thinking about this...No use.

"What is this girl compared to Tia?! Huh? She doesn't have money...She doesn't have class...She has no reputation..."

"That is the key that she isn't like all of you!" He yelled cutting off Daadi as I looked up towards him confused by what he meant. His hand tightening around mines' as he pulled me closer next to him.

His gaze capturing mines' appearing to reassure me that he was here as his eyes softened. "She is innocent...she is pure...she understands me the way no one does... she is selfless...Not once thinking about herself, she always thinks about those who she loves, but most importantly...she brings peace to this soul I carry...peace that I have needed in a long time..." My eyes pausing as I looked at him...His delicate, simple words pausing my anger as they appeared to dive down inside of me...strumming the strings of my soul making it want to believe his words...wanting them to be true. But...are these words truly his? If they are then why did he execute such reckoning for me?...If he see's me as this then why did he decide to ruin me and destroy these values that I preciously cherished and carried which he himself claims to now admire.

Pinky aunty let out a small laugh as I immediately looked back towards her. "I cannot believe this...I cannot believe that this filthy, characterless girl has consumed you to a point that you don't give a damn about anything or anyone else except her! This hex! She is a curse and you yourself are allowing to enter your life! Do you know what society calls girls like her who spends nights in hotel rooms with men?!"

"Ma!" Shivaay screamed immediately lunging towards her as she took a sudden step back appearing appalled by his reaction. Shivaay's face reddening as the veins of neck appeared to throb with rage pumping through them.

Numbness...my mind touching it as I felt the sharp pieces of poison one by one insert themselves into me...The poison screaming at me as it inserted each and every word of the last statement she spoke...The moment suddenly overwhelming as all the words they said began to collapse upon to the hallow, emptiness inside of me puncturing it and letting life escape.

My hand running down the side of my body as I flinched not wanting to feel the angst of the poison of her words...not wanting to find the truth to her words that labeled me as a...My mind halting not wanting to even think about that word...knowing the meaning it held...

"Get out right this minute! Out of here now! Do you understand?! Get out before I call security and make a mockery of you in public! Out!" Shivaay screamed as suddenly cries erupted from the hallow being inside of me...becoming wails as I clasped my hand across my mouth snatching my hand out of Shivaay's grip not being able to bear the disgrace...the humiliation...Life appearing to slowly slip away as my heart beats began to slow down minute by minute while my soul struggled to keep grasp on to me and not walk away.

"We will go now, but don't think we will let go of this matter..." Daadi spoke before looking back at me as she grabbed Pinky aunty's hand dragging her out of the room.

https://youtu.be/qSpdo7hF5J8

My body collapsing on to the bed as tears embraced me...making me whimper and falter...not being able to bear the pain any longer as this pain of disgrace and loss of honor began to become unbearable burting its roots inside of me not wanting to let go. My dupatta...a mere symbol of honor slipping down my shoulders not wanting to touch me knowing that I had no value...nor honor...that needed protection.

Clasping my hands against my chest, I continued to cry not being able to bear the burning angst that was clenching on to me not wanting to let go...Never would I have thought that the world would see me in such way...label me with such filth...Never would I have thought that the one thing I had left remaining, after losing everything, my honor would be snatched away from me in such way. Never.

"Anika...Anika...please don't cry like this...Please don't." I felt a sense of revulsion as I looked up towards my culprit who shrewdly placed a poker face not revealing that he was likely finding pleasure in my disgrace....sadistic pleasure.

He took a step towards me as I immediately threw my hands against his chest pushing him with all my force. His body stumbling back as he looked back at me stunned.

"Don't you dare come near me! Don't you dare!" Screams erupting from me as I could no longer bear the pain that was continuing to burn inside of me not allowing me to even grasp on to the smallest bit of life.

My screams igniting a fire of rage inside of him that he was holding on to dearly for the longest time. His eyes glistening a color of red as a dash of darkness flashed across them indicating an evil soul lurking inside of them.

"How dare you?!" He yelled immediately lunging towards me as he grabbed my shoulders pushing me on to the bed as I grabbed on to my womb fearing something worse may happen if indeed a life is present. My bun loosening as my hair fell over my face blurring the sight of him as I felt him stand above me.

Tears continuing to weave themselves out of me representing an agonizing poison that had dipped inside of my heart.

Get up Anika. Don't falter. Get up and reveal his true face to him...get up! My conscience commanded as I dragged my hands against the bed gathering bits of energy to lift myself up.

His body trembling as anger thundered inside of him with his gaze remaining fixated upon me. Strip his ego Anika...the way he dared to touch your honor by humiliating you and destroying each and every relationship you cherished, he deserves to be shown his truth.

Gathering my strength, I pulled myself to the edge of the bed looking directly into his eyes not willing to wave and surrender to his anger like I always did. "No! Shivaay Singh Oberoi...No! How dare you?!" My voice barely holding strength as I gritted my teeth looking towards him.

My voice pausing him as he stood still with his fists clenched tightly as if attempting to control himself.

Taking a deep breath, I wiped my tears away before looking back at him. "Look at yourself... Look at what you have become! And then look at how this demonic being inside of you... your ego... your sadistic pleasure...has wrecked me. Can you not see the perverted, filthy eyes that the world see's me through now...? Can you not hear the stripping of my honor with each filth that now each and every person throws at me and will continue to throw at me?...Is this your love? Hm? Is this your love that only destroys?" I questioned as I looked into his eyes attempting to draw him back to the path he should be on...I know I am only human and only God can guide him to the path, but it is important that at least I can incite his conscience. His conscience needs to be awakened to make him realize what he has done...the sin he has committed...My culprit deserve to suffer in the same angst, from committing a sin, that I am going through as of now.

Shivaay's eyes softening, but failing to be awakened as he repeated his words that he has been screaming since yesterday. "Anika...why don't you understand? I love you and I did what was needed...what our love demanded! I will not sacrifice our love for the sake of society, norms, ad values!" He exclaimed as he grabbed my shoulders pulling me up forcefully.

Love? What love is he talking about? A love that we supposedly had years ago and in which I was the one only who fulfilled it. A love that was barren...as it was always one sided...At least that is what he always has claimed. "Love? Our love?...A love that you yourself buried in the grave claiming you were never felt it...never was committed to it...that all of it was a charade...That love Shivaay? Huh?..." I questioned as I grabbed his wrists forcing him to look towards me. His eyes matching mines' to only show something that I have rarely seen...tears.

Tears brimming in the blue hues of his eyes reflecting a sense of angst that they appeared to hold. My heart standing still confused and puzzled not being able to understand the cause of the tears as it was always told that a love that we had was actually an unrequited love that only I had...so why is he holding tears that actually are mine?

Leaning his face closer mines', he looked into my eyes' depths attempting to lure the lifeless soul they held. "Anika...how many times do I tell you that not all of it was a lie...Not all...I would be lying to say that I didn't feel anything...I tried everything to resist your love, but your love was too powerful that eventually took hold of my heart..."

My eyes closing shut attempting to not want to hear more...not wanting to face this "love" that he had for me...I always have had a hope that not everything was a lie...and somehow that hope is finding fulfillment after hearing his words, but then...what about his love? It's not love...It's not...Love isn't what he thinks it to be.

Slowly opening my eyes, I looked back towards him as I slipped my hands from his wrists not wanting to touch his filth. "I...I don't know what to be believe in and what not to...You have played with this heart so well and fooled it to a point that now it lays lifeless not being able to tell anymore who its lover is and isn't...All this heart remembers is the love it once indulged into...a love it dived into so deep that it forgot everything...each and every emotion and illusion except love...The love this heart touched was selfless...Selfless..." I whispered as tears slipped down his cheeks appearing to understand the depth of the love I had for the first time...perhaps for the first time listening to the heart that once beated only for him and for his sake.

"You love me because I am selfless right? That is what you love about me...but then what are you? Have you ever dared to be selfless? Have you ever dared for once to think about your lover rather yourself? Is your love brave or a coward just like you?"

"Anika!" He yelled as a soft smile appeared across my lips finding a sense of fear lifting itself inside of him...something I hadn't seen before...The sadistic phantom inside of him appearing to twist in fear as its ego was hit by the thorns of truth.

Grabbing my arm, he pulled me against his chest closing the distance between us as he pressed my body against him. Shaking my head, I continued to smile as I looked into his eyes realizing how he was attempting to show his dominance to veil the fear he had of being labeled as a coward.

"How dare you?" He hissed as I sighed leaning closer towards him.

"Only cowards would do what you did. Only a coward would go out and humiliate his love in public because of fear...fear of letting go...Only cowards are selfish...Cowards can never be selfless...Cowards can never love...Never!" I spat with anger as I attempted to shatter his ego that made the core of his essence just as he shattered my honor...this ego is the evil inside of him and this is the evil that needs to be reckoned.

Suddenly my body flew back as I felt his hands slam against my shoulders. My feet hitting the edge of the bed as I grabbed on to it preventing myself from falling and laying in pity in front of him. My conscience awakening as anger twisted inside of it...anger over how he dares to dominant me despite everything he has done...That's it...no more. He cannot treat me like this anymore...

"Anika don't you dare utter another word...Do you hear me? It is my love that is stopping me from becoming my worst and you have seen what I could do! So stop this instant!" He ordered as I let out a small laugh looking back towards him holding on to bare means of strength that I found not wanting to falter in front of him.

"Look at you...you cannot even hear the truth! You cannot even hear what you have done...the sin you have committed!" I yelled as I balanced myself upwards taking a step towards him as he immediately looked.

The demonic gaze hovering around him as he took a step closer towards me. "Sin?! And what about you?! Huh?! What about you?!" He yelled as he pushed me back lightly in an attempt to make me surrender to him. A tinge of anger touching me once more as I clenched my fists tightly before grabbing on to his hand immediately pulling him towards me. His eyes widening as he appeared surprised by the sudden strength that I appeared to catch hold of.

"I am a sinner!...I have sinned...Right now what has happened was partly to the sins I committed from leaving my family for a man who never loved me to....to pursuing a relationship with your cousin knowing it was wrong...and then...lastly...of course...sleeping with you because I gave into lust! I know my sins and I am brave enough to admit them, but what about you?! Huh! What about you?!" My screams pushing through the sadistic being in front me as he stumbled back appearing to drown into the bit of reality my screams gave him.

My vision beginning to swivel violently back and forth as I slumped on to the bed with my heart pounding loudly against my chest as another faint cramp rose in my womb. Immediately grabbing hold of it, I began to take deep breaths realizing the fragility of the situation knowing I needed to maintain calm or else something worse could happen.

Suddenly a loud bang erupting in the room as I let out a scream immediately lifting my feet up on to the bed as I felt something fly across besides me. My eyes immediately turning as I saw the wooden lamp hit the wall falling into pieces.

Vicious, vile hands immediately grabbing hold of my shoulders as he pinned my body against to the back of the bed. His knee pressing on to my leg as I yelped biting into a scream as I immediately looked up towards him meeting his red, demonic eyes full of rage.

"What is my sin? Huh? Is loving someone a sin Anika? Did I sin my telling everyone the truth? What is my sin?" He began to question as a sense of madness appeared to slowly consume his range of thoughts....His eyes appearing to threaten me wanting me to silence myself, but I know those eyes are not his, but that selfish, sadistic being that lays inside of him...a part of him that makes him forget about everything, but himself.

Be brave Anika...Be brave. Do not let him incite fear inside of you. You have nothing to lose now, so why fear? Awaken him...awaken that part of him that needs to come to life. Gathering my strength, I immediately looked into his eyes knowing that it was time to speak his truth.

"Your sin was to strip and bare my soul in public by taking the last thing it held...honor...Your sin lays in that you were a coward who never dared to be selfless and let me go, but instead relied on a malicious plan to claim me...Your sin lays in the fact that you failed to uphold the key vow of love which is to cherish the lover's honor and pride...what you did was the worst...You ruined me yesterday...ruined me to a point that now I cannot even lift myself and walk with pride amongst others...My parents don't see me as their daughter, but a curse...a filth that they do not want in their house anymore...Not only them, but now the world see's me as the filth that they shall do everything to eliminate...to isolate from society...I am the filth that no one wants..." Tears slowly slipping down my cheeks as my voice came out as barren and lifeless. My soul suddenly falling back as strength slipped out of it after it called its last cry...its last plea...

My face collapsing into my hands as I began cry the angst that my heart was suffering at the moment. My body slowly breaking down not able to hold any strength as I felt the ground beneath me lose its grip not wanting to hold a burden anymore knowing that I was only a piece of filth. A sense of weakness touching me as I collapsed on to the bed burying my face into the pillow attempting to find comfort in its lifelessness.

Silence falling into the room as the only sound heard were my cries...cries of agony that called for help...called for comfort...except no one was there to hear it. The evil phantom standing in front of me can never hear me...he never did, so now what will he hear? He can never change. Never...He is not capable of it. At least I tried...tried one last time to awaken him and his conscience.

Shivaay's Point of View

Her cries acting as a bane slowly crawling into me-teasing me, taunting me, and screaming right into my soul...A sense of uneasiness appearing inside of me as I stood still staring at her as she laid in front of me completely lifeless...completely broken...Her wails seemingly appearing to haunt me and question me and my actions....

A sense of numbness touching me as I stood still with my mind diving into the memories of last night attempting to gather the sins I committed. Have I truly wronged her? Was I wrong in the way I told our truth to the world?...Suddenly, each and every memory came back...memories about her and her state...The way the world screamed their filth at her...The way her parents abused her...the way she was left abandoned alone at night with her sickness embracing her...A sudden rush of weakness falling on to my legs as I stumbled back holding on to the wall.

What have I done?...My hands clenching on to my chest as I dug my nails into it wanting to pull out the demonic being that lived inside of me...that selfish, egoistic being that for once didn't allow me to see how my actions would hurt her...how my actions would salvage her of her pride and honor...I have done the same thing again that I did years ago...Again, I became selfish...only thinking about me and my desires that once fulfilled would feed into the sadistic being I carry as a part of my soul.

How could I do this to her?...How could I ruin her with my own hands? My eyes falling to my palm lines as I looked at them realizing how fate has time to time again placed me in an illusion in which I have always thought about me...my desires, my wants, my needs...not once thinking about the other...the other always being Anika...

Am I coward? Am I truly a coward?...Closing my eyes shut, I let my tears fall remembering each and every time I have been a coward...the purest example seen in how I took Chaaya away from her...My heart dropping in an instant as the memory came forward...a memory that I have buried in the graves of mind not wanting to touch it, but knowing that it was the cause of our downfall...the downfall of our family. And now what I have done?...Once again I put on the costume of a coward and decided to shatter the honor and pride of the woman I truly love...

Is my love truly an obsession?...My eyes widening as the question suddenly perturbed me with my eyes falling towards Anika as she whimpered with her back towards me laying her tears in front of me as a validation of the obsession I formed...Is it an obsession that I only think of her day and night wanting to be with her...wanting to love her and her loving me?...Is it an obsession that only I want my name to be engraved on her letting the world know that she is mine?....What is the line between love and obsession?...Can this heart love anyone or will it always entangle itself in obsessions?

Lowering my gaze, I traced my hand to my chest placing it on my heart...Closing my eyes, I attempted to find an answer to my question wanting for once to have someone or something speak up inside of me to tell me...to guide me...

And somehow my conscience for once awakened and somehow the divine fate that was part of it spoke.

If your love was a true obsession then right now you would not even be feeling her tears melting as wax on to your heart...You would not even be feeling the painful, trembling angst of the fresh wounds of her soul...Your soul would not be trembling right now wanting to escape from the burden of guilt and shame...right now you would not even be questioning your love...right now you would not even be admitting your sins...You are in love...She is your love...Until this moment, not once have you confessed your sins to your own soul...so tell me isn't this love?...Isn't she your love who made you look into yourself for once and capture the darkness you carry?

You do love her, but you need to learn how to love her....

Anika's Point of View

For once learn the rules of love Shivaay...If you truly loved me then you would've learned how to love me...This love is a drug that once consumed takes control of your senses, your heart, depths and tones of your soul if you allow it to be...No one knows how to love, but if their love is deep enough then divine fate allows them to learn these rules...learn how one loves...

If he truly loves me then he will change...But what will change even Shivaay decides to transform himself? Will I get my pride, my honor, my dignity back? Will I get my parents back?...No. No. Once this soul has ripped apart by the world and salvaged with dirt and its filth...nothing can be changed after that...it will always remain a curse...it always will be deprived from its relations and its love...

My body trembled as another part of me continued to wrangle and struggle...not only have I sinned and been punished by the filth of the world...but now perhaps...I carry a life that will be known for my sins...What am I going to do? What if I truly am pregnant? My hand trembling as I placed it on my womb staring out into the darkness of the skies that fell upon me from the window.

"Anika..." My eyes closing shut as I clenched on to the bed sheet not wanting to see him. Burying my face into the pillow, I held on to it tightly not willing to lift myself up.

His hand slowly trailed against my shoulder as I laid still not wanting to even feel a bit of his revulsive, sick touch. "Anika..." He repeated once more as I bit into my hand holding on to my tears not wanting to look towards him.

He took a deep breath as he kept his hand still on my shoulder burning his revulsive touch into me. He appeared to move as I laid in silence not saying a word.

Our fights always end up like this...Always. After all these years, our fights have the same toxic volatility to it...The screams, the tears, the shattering sounds of glass that scream our anger and frustration with one another, and then...silence with me usually laying down while he stands still not saying a word...There is only silence...Complete silence.

"I-I...am...going out for a moment...I will be back soon...Um...here is some cash I have placed in case you need anything..." His voice barely breaking through as I closed my eyes shut.

A sense of sickness lifting itself up inside of me as I clenched my teeth tightly. "I don't need your damn money..." I spat realizing that no amount of his wealth would give the peace to the inner fire set inside of me...that I am worth more than being comforted by his pity.

Shivaay sighed as he slowly walked away slamming the door shut behind him.

My head continuing to spin as I placed it into my hands trying to maintain composure, but utterly failing at it. I sighed as I took deep breaths, but felt my stomach continuing to churn as a sense of pure nausea dripped upon it. Clasping my hand against my mouth, I attempted to stop another vomit as I sighed shaking my head.

What if I am pregnant? The thought grasping tightly on to my soul as I placed my hand on my womb. No. This is not possible. I cannot be carrying a child in his name...Fate cannot do this to me...But, then I did commit a sin...Closing my eyes shut, I remembered the fateful night at the beach remembering when I crossed all the barriers and broke all norms to get a touch of lust...Tears slowly beginning to stream down my cheeks as I wrapped my dupatta around me tightly feeling a sense of filth slowly running through my veins deep into my soul and letting it know that how now it may be completely maligned.

What am I going to do if I am pregnant? What will happen? My stomach moving itself inward as I sighed feeling a sense of suffocation as my chest began to tighten. What should I do now? Should I confirm?...I mean these could be symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome, but then...I have been late on my period...I thought it was due to my hormone balance, but then...what if it is a pregnancy?

Oh my God...Clasping my hands on to the mattress of the bed, I slowly lifted myself up as I dragged my feet down the carpeted floor walking towards the window. My eyes setting on the dark sky as I noticed rain slowly beginning to drizzle once more...the agony of the skies representing the fire of fear inside of me. My body continuing to tremble in fear as I felt tears continuing to stream down my cheeks. I will be ruined if a life decides to nurture itself inside of me.

My gaze lowering as I looked at the street across from me. Lifting the curtain up, I slowly peeked out of the window as I saw a small shopping center across from the road. My eyes falling on to a drugstore located right at the corner of the street. My hands feeling clammy as I began to fumble with my fingers thinking what I should do. Should I go there?

My eyes moving towards the money that Shivaay had left for me to use remembering how I told Shivaay, in spur of the moment, that I don't need his money...But, how long are you going to wait? If it is a pregnancy then it is better to know for the health of the child...the health of my baby...Considering my symptoms have worsened and right now I have a flu, it is important I find out about the child...My heart beginning to beat loudly against my chest as I felt my palms sweat.

Don't do this to yourself Anika. Don't. Be brave...You have nothing to lose now. You already have lost your honor and dignity, so what are you fearing? I sighed as I immediately grabbed the money from the nightstand picking out two twenty dollar bills from it.

Biting my lip, I looked back into the mirror as I saw my reflection...a lifeless reflection that didn't have a soul anymore...I don't have any honor...I don't have any dignity...so what soul do I have? I sighed as I wrapped my dupatta around me tightly before walking out of the room.

Shivaay's Point of View

What have I done? How could I do this to her? Anika's screams and cries continuing to echo through my ears as I realized what I had done...What a sin I had committed once again. Tears streaming down my cheeks as I felt a sense of discomfort trail itself inside of me realizing what I had done...How could I do this to her again? Once again, I have broken her...I wanted everyone to know the truth...I wanted to tell the world that she is mine...But how did I fail to realize that her honor and dignity were going to be hurt the most? How did I allow my selfishness and ego get me to a point that I once did not consider how my actions would hurt the one I love the most...Anika?

Clasping my hands together against my lips, I sat in silence in the café of the hotel finding a sense of distension lock my heart in realizing the sin I had committed. Anika doesn't even want me to be near her...nor touch her...I see that disgust in her eyes as she looks at me...The pain, the vulnerability, the sadness in depths of her soul reflected in those eyes is haunting...I cannot see her like this...What have I done? Running my hands through my hair, I tugged on it attempting to punish my soul that laid in the mind telling it how sinful it is.

I love you Anika...I love you more than anything. I shouldn't have done this to you...Did my selfish desire consume me to a point that I failed to think what would happen to you by committing these deeds?...But then I was the one who continued to believe that if I will fall then I will bring you down with me...But that is not love...

Love is selfless -that is what she always says and what she said today...then why didn't my heart adhere to such words? Why did my heart decide to destroy you once again?

The loud ringing of my phone shattering thoughts as I looked at it realizing it was Mrs. Dixit. Raising my eyebrow in curiosity, I quickly picked it up placing it against my ear.

"Hello, Mrs. Dixit. Is everything ok?" I questioned.

"Yes, everything is good. Actually, Chaaya was missing you a lot and she wanted to talk to you, so I decided to call you. Here talk to Chaaya alright?" Mrs. Dixit said as I smiled finding a small bit of happiness in the sadness that clung to me. Try to be happy Shivaay, don't let Chaaya even get an idea about what is wrong.

"Papa! Good morning!" She exclaimed as she began to giggle on the other end. I smiled hearing her soothing voice that appeared to capture the sadness I held.

"Good morning meri jaan. How are you?" I questioned as she giggled once again just like Anika.

"I am good. I miss you," She spoke as I bit my lip wiping my tears realizing I hadn't seen her since the last three days considering I had gotten busy with executing the plan that not only helped me achieve my desire, but ruined the one who I desire and love the most.

"I-I miss you too meri jaan. I promise to visit you tomorrow ok?" I noted in an attempt to convince her a she sighed.

"What about mommy? You promised I will meet mommy soon!" She yelled as my eyes widened hearing her words.

My mind jogging back to my memory realizing what I had told her about two weeks ago when I promised her that she would soon meet Anika...At that time things were different, I had assumed I would confess my feelings to Anika and she would reciprocate, but instead she got engaged to Armaan and then this who debacle happened. I sighed realizing how I had likely given false hope to the child...I want to tell Anika about Chaaya, but then now is definitely not the right time considering how upset she already is and how much more she will likely hate me upon finding out that I hid Chaaya from her.

"Beta...um...Look mommy is still busy, but she will come soon...Ok?" Biting into my tongue, I wiped my tears knowing that I was telling a lie since I myself do not know how long it may take to bridge the gap between Anika and I before she would be able to trust me and understand why I hid Chaaya.

"When?! I want to see her Papa...Please tell her that I want to see her!" She appeared to cry as I realized my words had likely broken her heart. Her tears further increasing the uneasiness inside of me as her tears are something that I can never bear to hear.

She is so young, innocent, and completely unaware of the broken family she belongs to. She doesn't know what her father's true face is...She doesn't know what a horrible man I am and how much I have hurt her mother...She doesn't know that the reason why she is deprived of a mother's love is because of me. No one else, but me.

"Chaaya beta please don't cry...Beta please..." I whispered attempting to calm her as she continued to cry before the line went silent.

"Hello, Shivaay beta, Chaaya ran away. Is everything ok?" Mrs. Dixity questioned as I sighed placing my head into my hand feeling an ache appearing in my heart as it began to become burdened with realization how I was failing to give happiness to the two closest people to my heart...Anika and Chaaya...Perhaps, I will never be able to learn the true value of relationships.

"Um...everything's fine. Chaaya is upset that she is not able to see her mother yet...Can you please look after her now? I will try my best to come as soon as possible to visit her," I spoke as Mrs. Dixit agreed and soon hung up the phone.

Placing my head into my hands, I stared down at the glass table looking into my reflection seeing a sense of hallowness and emptiness in it...feeling revulsive remembering what the soul of this man did to Anika yesterday....Shivaay...you have to become a man now.

What you did at the sangeet was a cowardly act. What you did by snatching Chaaya from Anika was also a cowardly act. You have always given into this selfishness that feeds on your ego and gives your soul a life. But now you have to change. You have to change for Anika and for Chaaya...Be the way you have always been to the outside selfish world, but when it comes to these two, you have to change...you have to learn what selflessness is...you have to learn the true value of relationships...My hands clasping together as I looked up wishing some divine fate would be listening to me...please guide me...for once I want to do the right thing...for once I want to change for my family...

My eyes slowly moving up as I noticed Anika walking into the hotel lobby. Her hands appearing to hold something, wrapped in her dupatta, as she looked around with a tensed look. Raising my eyebrow, I slowly got up peering out the glass window looking into the hotel lobby as she appeared nervous looking around before pressing on the elevator button.

What is she doing? Thinking where she must've gone considering she barely could get out of bed today. Quickly grabbing my phone, I rushed out into the lobby pacing myself towards the elevator seeing her getting in it.

"Anika! Anika!" I called out to her as she appeared to look up. Her face going pale in an instant as her eyes widened. She immediately pressed the button letting the doors close as I stopped in my steps surprised by her action.

What is going on? She saw me then why didn't she stop? She is still upset, but still she would've stopped. Quickly pressing the elevator button, I looked up at the elevator realizing the second one was slowly snailing its way down.

Something is definitely going on with Anika. The way she just ran away from me and that fear seen in her eyes moment before tells me something if off. Ever since early morning today, she has been behaving in a way as if she is trying to hide something...I don't know, but my heart is telling me that she is hiding a secret and I have to figure out what it is.

Anika's Point of View

My hands continued to fumble against one another as I anxiously waited for the elevator doors to open for the top floor. Crap, he saw me. I know I should've stopped for him, but then what if he saw these?...My eyes slowly moving down to the two boxes I held in my hand that were wrapped tightly in the red dupatta symbolizing the pure, ill fate they may carry...Their presence making my heart skip a beat in an instant as fear slowly crawled on it. My womb cramping once more as I bit my lip. My hand trembling as I slowly placed it on my womb...fear and panic becoming a dangerous mix as I prayed this womb was hallow knowing that if it wasn't then something worse would likely happen...knowing what the world would not only think of me, but the innocent life as well...I can bear the filth, but I would not be able to bear it if this innocent life is looked through the same filthy eyes by the world.

Tears continued to slip down my cheeks as I took a deep breath feeling a sense of loneliness embrace me tightly realizing how in this moment I am all alone. No one. Not a single person is here for me right now...to hold me...to tell me that everything will be alright...No one...I have many who will in an instant come and throw dirt on my character, but not one who will stand up for me. So, is it wrong if I pray that this womb is empty? Is it wrong to pray that this child shall not face the same lonely, dirty world that his or her mother has faced? Is it wrong?...

The rumbling of the elevator doors breaking my thoughts, as I began to quickly walk down the hallway towards the hotel room looking back hoping Shivaay hadn't made it up yet since I know he likely is coming up considering the suspicious nature he has.

Quickly opening the door, I slammed it shut as I picked up my sharara not wanting to stumble as I rushed towards the bathroom. A tight knot forming inside of me as I took deep breaths in an attempt to relax, but failing as I locked the bathroom door behind me.

My hands trembling uncontrollably as I grabbed on to the first box opening it as my heart began to do somersaults as pure anxiety began to wrap around it tightly willing to not let go. My soul twisting on to itself and not wanting to face the reality as my mind continued to command me to do the test and not give into anxiety that was pushing me to ignore the situation at hand.

Please, please don't do this to me. Please. Give me another punishment, but don't do this to me. Please. I looked up to divine fate, feeling tears choking on to me, as I attempted to pray for my fate...pray that I don't suffer...pray that a child doesn't suffer because of me...

Shivaay's Point of View

"I don't give a damn about the meeting! Do you hear me Papa?! I don't give a damn what the board of directors think alright?!" I yelled as I slammed my hand against the elevator's wall feeling quite frustrated and angry with Papa at the moment. My heart pounding loudly against my chest as I could no longer bear the selfishness of my own blood.

"The board of directors want to meet you for possible ethical code violations! They believe it is a violation to date a hospital employee and now considering the great deed you did by telling the world about you two, you now have to answer them. Do you know your position as CEO is at risk right now?" Papa spoke as I clenched my jaw tightly hearing the last statement.

At risk? Really? Well...First it is difficult to remove me and if they do then they themselves know they will fall. I am the reason why this brand of "Oberoi Hospitals" has succeeded and it will fail the day I leave it. "Really? Well tell them that I don't give a damn. If they want to overthrow me then be it, but tell them that Shivaay Singh Oberoi will not sacrifice his love for damn money! Alright?!" Without allowing Papa to say another word, I cut the phone off slamming my hand against the door as I leaned back closing my eyes shut as I listened to my heart not the selfish mind that nurtured itself inside of me.

I choose love. From now on I will always choose love. Always. Gone are the days when I ran after money and sacrificed my marriage for it...Now I will never sacrifice my family for the sake of money. Never. Money, luxury, power...are three greeds that consume madness and feed on to it, but I have realized that even if one has these three and is on the top, they still might not have solace...they still will be hallow...if they don't have love...So now I will always choose love.

As the elevator doors opened, I walked out looking down the hallway both ways to see if Anika was in sight. She likely is in the room. Speeding down towards the room, I quickly opened it.

"Anika! Anika!" I called out as I walked into the living area not seeing her. Where is she? Is she ok? I hope she didn't fall sick again. Slowly making my way into the bedroom, I looked around not seeing her. Raising my eyebrow, I looked back towards the bathroom as the light appeared to be on.

Anika's Point of View

https://youtu.be/UQG_kc3q7gs

My body stood still as I held the two sticks in my hand waiting for my result. My heart continuing to beat fast as I leaned against my counter waiting for my fate...waiting to see now what fate will do...Haven't you already made me suffer? Haven't I already walked on thorns? How many more thorns will I have to walk on? Tears slipping down my cheeks as I continued to curse my fate pushing it to not further mold my life into a mess.

A consistent wave of anxiety running through my mind as I felt my legs tremble with a sense of weakness latching on to me. My head continuing to spin as my vision got blurry with tears that were not ending. A sense of revulsion still churning inside of me as I held the two sticks in my hands waiting for the result to come.

Lifting my eyes towards my reflection I looked at myself...A sense of loss of life appearing to hover me as my eyes appeared dull...only capable of dancing with sadness...my lips swollen as bitter words only slipped from them...My gaze lowering as I looked at the choora I still wore...representing a bride I was to be, but fate stole away from me only to mortify me... with eyes tracing to the dark red shade of mehendi that laid on my fate lines...symbolizing the dangerous ominous fate that could soon be touching me...

A small smile appearing across my lips as it looked down upon my ill fate...my life has now been sent to the ruins...but can something worse happen than that? Who knows? Perhaps there is something more worse, dangerous, and toxic than getting ruined and walking the world without life...Perhaps what is worse is to live in the world without a soul bearing its filth with another being...who may be a part you...what may be worse is walking this world with a small bundle of life who will be seen as filth...

My eyes lowered as I looked at the results.

My body going numb as my soul escaped it in an instant....Heartbeats slowing down as life bit by bit began to slip out of me...My hands beginning to tremble as I looked at the two sticks laying on top of my fate lines...

A small plus appearing....

Positive.

Pregnant.

A sense of weakness crash landing into me as my body immediately collapsed on to the floor. No. No. No. "No!" I screamed clasping my hand against my womb attempting to make it hallow, but failing knowing the blessing that it had been given.

Tears streaming down my cheeks as wails erupted from me realizing the wrath of fate that had been placed upon me for the sin I committed. No. This cannot happen. No. I cannot be pregnant....I cannot...Oh my God...what am I going to do? What will the world think of my child?...My eyes widening as I felt the filth of sins touching me...hitting the depth of my womb...and falling on to the innocent life it carried...No. Shaking my head, I collapsed my head into my hand feeling my life lifting out of me and burying itself into the ground.

Suddenly, I heard a loud knock on the door. My body trembling as I jumped back looking towards the door. The tests spilling out of my hands and tumbling on to the floor revealing my sin...

"Anika! Anika are you ok?!" My eyes widening as I realized who it was...

My hand instantly wrapping around my womb as I sat still looking at the door. Memories of that night rushing back...The night giving me a sensual touch as I felt his ghostly kisses touch my soul once more...My soul becoming livid remembering what it was taking part in the moment...my soul livid over realization whose life it held inside of it...

Closing my eyes shut, I ran my hand softly over my womb feeling the blessing...remembering that the blessing was not only a part of me, but a part of him...part of Shivaay...Part of a man who embraces the darkness...a man who only knows how to destroy...what have I done? What has fate done?

"Anika!" He called once more as the doorknob twisted.

....

......

Teaser for Chapter 33 and 34

Anika laid in silence as she stared at the ceiling hearing the beats of the life inside of her.

Dr. Skylar's hand moving the ultrasound scanner across my womb as she softly smiled looking back at Anika.

"Well, here is the first hearbeat..." She said as the volume turned on making her hear the beats.

"And here is the second heartbeat," She said as Anika's eyes widened as she quickly looked towards the machine as shock hit her.

........

"So? I don't give a damn about you or this empire if it means I have to lose Anika...I love her. She is mine now and I have found peace in my life knowing that this world now knows that she is mine and no one can even look at her the way I can do...I need her....I desire her...and now I have claimed her, so...I don't care if I am digging a grave for my career..." Shivaay spoke with a sense of bravery as he leaned forward looking directly into his father's eyes.

"What about this? The Oberoi Empire?...You are the heir to this..." Shakti Oberoi spoke appearing appalled as he looked at his son who completely had sold his soul off to love...a mere illusion.

A small chuckle erupting from Shivaay as he shook his head back and forth as he looked at his father's foolishness before his eyes darkened. "No one can take the Oberoi Empire from Shivaay Singh Oberoi...No one. If I am overthrown then so will begin the end of this empire..."

......

"Dad! Dad! Nothing will happen to you! I promise Dad..." Anika screamed as she continued to give her father CPR. Tears streaming down her cheeks as her father laid still in front of her...

"Stay away! We don't need your help! We don't need it!" Mom screamed loudly trying to push her back as Anika continued to give him CPR.

"You are the reason that this is happening! I wish we were childless, but didn't have a daughter like you!" Mom screamed as Anika looked at her father. Her life slipping out of her as she looked at her father lifeless in front of her.

....

Thank you for reading and if you liked this chapter then please do like, comment, and share.If you like this story then please do share it with other readers who may be potential interesting in reading this chapter :)

Again, I also want to say that I am sorry to all readers who may have been disappointed by the dramatic change in the storyline. I am sorry if I have disappointed you :( I hope the future storyline is better and some of you will continue to read it.

The next four chapters are going to be a bit more sad for Shivika, but this is necessary to unite them into a bigger relationship after which lighter moments will progressively be shown.

Do you think Shivaay will now finally change? What will happen to their child? Will Shivaay accept the child and how will he react once he finds out?

I am not sure if I will be updating next week as I am feeling a little low lately and I might update my other story, but I am not sure yet.

Let me know what you thought about this chapter by messaging me on Wattpad or Twitter (Twitter account name:Jasminedarcie) or commenting on this post :)

Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year in advance!

Ciao!

-Jasmine

Edit: Hi everyone! :) You all and I are definitely lucky to have such an amazing, awesome, and artistic reader amongst us who has made another lovely video on our very own Shivika from "Learning to Love Him Again!

The video was made by the Twitter account name: Iridescentlove4. The link for the video is below: (If you cannot click it then please do go directly to my Twitter account name called @JasmineDarcie where I retweeted the video or please do directly to Iridescentlove4 twitter account to watch the video). Please do spare some time and watch this amazing video! :):

https://twitter.com/Iridescentlove4/status/1210411905665445888?s=20