Copyright © jasminedarcie

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My eyes stood still as I looked at the mangalsutra, a symbol of love and marriage, as I turned my eyes and looked at Shivaay as his eyes stood still as he looked at it. Time stood still as we stared at because it brought memories...memories of a broken relationship. A relationship full of dreams and a hopeful future. A future that I longed for and still do. That mangalsutra held my dreams and held our relationship because it was mine.

Flashback Begins:

My hands shook as I closed the door shut and locked the car. My eyes wandered to the crowd that scattered across the large lawn as champagne glasses clinked to commence the celebration of the wedding of the decade-the wedding of Shivaay Singh Oberoi with Tia Sharma. A wedding that saw the union of one of the richest families in the world and a wedding that saw the commencement of the beginning of a multi-million dollar project that aimed at the advancement in pharmaceutical research and technology along with the expansion of the Oberoi family's hospital chain. I noticed the wide smiles on everyone's faces as people danced, gossiped and chit chatted their way. It truly was a wedding for the rich. Somehow I was here as well.

I walked towards the front entrance of the large hotel as I drifted my eyes throughout the lobby and saw wedding guests everywhere. I tried to move my eyes through the crowd to scan for him. Shivaay.

Today, I have to get to Shivaay no matter what. I just have to. This is a matter of both of our lives and I have to address it. I have questions and I need answers from him. How is it the last three years of our lives was meaningless? That our relationship was meaningless. No matter what I have to meet him. It has been months since I have been trying to get into contact with him and get answers and somehow he is not willing to face me or answer my questions. The only time we encountered each other was in....the courtroom where everything ended. I shut the thought out of my mind as I quickly walked to the front reception desk as I fixed my sari's pallu.

"Hi, I am here to meet Mr. Shivaay Singh Oberoi," I said as the receptionist's smile fell flat and looked at me curiously.

"May I ask who you are?" The receptionist asked curiously as I sighed and showed her my ID.

"My name is Anika Oberoi. I am here to meet him because he is...can you just call him and let him know I am here? Let him know that if he does not let me up to his room then I will tell everyone about us and I have proof of it too," I said sternly as the receptionist's eyes widened and mouth gaped as her eyes traced my face. Her eyes clearly tracing the large diamond solitaire that stood in my ring finger as I quickly hid it under my pallu and looked at her bravely in an attempt to hold ground and meet Shivaay at least once because no matter how much he argues and tries to convince me that our relationship was a lie...I know deep down that it wasn't. That we were not a lie...that our love was not a lie.

"Ma'am.....there is strict protocol on who can visit him," the receptionist replied.

"Please, just try at least once," I said as the receptionist sighed as the placed a pleading face in front of her. The receptionist sighed as she grabbed her phone and dialed a number.

"Hello...yes this is the front desk. There is a visitor for Mr. Oberoi...Her name is Anika Oberoi....Um....no she is saying that she will tell everyone about both of them and....no she says she has proof," The receptionist said nervously as I heard someone yelling at her on the other line.

"Ok....I will let her know," The receptionist said as she hung up the phone.

"You may go up. Room number is 3125 on the fifteenth floor," The receptionist said as I shook my head and walked towards the elevators. I heard my heels silently clicking and clacking on the marble floor as I felt my pallu sweeping the floor in silence as I pressed the elevator button.

I tapped my foot lightly as I waited for the elevator doors to open. I have a destined fear of elevators, but for some reason I was not fearful today because I had to be brave. I have to face him and fight for myself....fight for us.

The elevator doors opened as I walked in and pressed the elevator button. I stood in silence as I stared at the numbers rising silently on the electronic screen as my eyes wandered to the silver walls that appeared to be closing in as I took a deep breath. My eyes slowly falling to my dull reflection as I stared at a face that was unrecognizable. Eyes dull and lifeless as they seemed worn out and tired from a battle as my hair slowly flowed down, giving up on life. I stared at the dark blue sari that dulled and faded as it touched my skin. My eyes slowly stood still on the redness on the parting of my head....the sindoor that still marked me and that I everyday wore despite its resistance to not be worn. My neck begging to be freed from...a burden that was holding on to it...the black beads that tensed and twisted after realizing that it had aged with an aged marriage and it was not be worn anymore...the mangalsutra that was once worn on me with love. Everything was over and I wanted to logically understand that and understand that a relationship I had was no longer present...but for some reason I can not let go because for some reason deep down I know that something in our relationship is not over....that there is something still holding it....

The doors opened in silence as I took a deep breath as I began walking down the hall. I slowly walked as I attempted to gather courage to face him and resist that voice telling me to not go. But, I have to go because this is my last chance....a chance to save our relationship.

I stopped at a dead end as my eyes stopped at the room number reading "3125". My hand followed to the door as I knocked in silence.

Suddenly the door opened as I faced a security guard with a stern look on his face. He moved to the side as I walked in silence as I looked up and saw him...there he was standing there as he looked towards the window. His back facing to me. I walked quietly as I felt tears falling slowly down my cheeks as I placed my hands on my sides and walked to him. I stopped as I stood right behind him as my vision scattered and took in his black sherwani that tensed on his body as I noticed him take a deep breath as he turned towards me as I stood in silence. His blue eyes slowly gazing into mines as they were covered with darkness and utter coldness as they stood still like stone.

I took a deep breath and took a step towards him as he raised his hand stopping me from coming any closer to him.

"Everyone leave!" Shivaay yelled loudly as I shook as he looked at the guards in pure anger.

"Sir...we are here for your protection," The guard said as Shivaay held his hand up.

"Go outside and stand there. Everyone leave," He said and slowly the guards left as his gaze stood still on my face as I looked up at him as I felt my tears consuming my cheeks as they dripped down to my lips.

"Why are you here?" He hissed as I sighed and closed my eyes shut as I attempted to look for courage before opening them and looking back at him.

"Because I am someone with whom you spent two years of your life with. Someone who was chosen to be your life partner and someone who you threw out of your life without giving any reasons...."I whispered as I noticed him sighing as he clenched his fists.

"I did give a reason and it was clear....very clear. I had a bet with my friends to trap you...cage you and then leave you. That's what I did. I wanted revenge for the way I was insulted in public and for the way I lost such an important project because of your nonsense! That project was my dream and a means to further publicize my business and dreams" He yelled as I took a step back away from him as my eyes widened.

"So you are telling me that you wasted two good years of your life to take revenge from me? That doesn't make sense! I had found out about your stupid bet six months after we were together and you know what I did....I forgave you! Because I know what I felt for you is what you felt for me! We were meant to be and you know it too!...We can still be together! You still have a choice! We have a choice! I forgive you...just come back to me. Choose me!" I exclaimed as I felt tears washing down quickly out of my eyes as I felt them burn. I felt an aged bottle of emotions shatter inside of me as I felt my heart burn in anguish as I looked at him.

Suddenly his hands wrapped around my arms as he brought me close to him as I hiccupped as he brought his face close to me as I felt his breath...full of alcohol cloud on my face as his eyes wandered on my face as I looked into eyes looking for hope.

"You fool! I was going to leave you after six months, but then the way you reacted after finding out about the bet made be so bitter....the fact that you had the audacity to come to my office, yell at me, slap me in front of all my clients, make me lose such an important contract.... And most importantly insult me set a fire inside of me that couldn't be extinguished. I had to play you and play with this mind of yours! Now you listen to me and get this straight....this wedding is important because it means landing funding for my dream project that Tia's father is willing to fund and you better not ruin it!" He hissed as he placed his finger on my temple and pressed it hard as my eyes widened in shock as his words pinched my heart...the same words I had heard when he decided to break me six months ago....break our marriage. All for a bet! But most importantly, the last thing that broke our marriage and pushed him for divorce was a deal! Money! How could he?

I moved my face away from him as I tried to get out of his grip as he held on me tightly as his hands gripped my arms hard not letting go....as if they didn't want to.

"So for a bet, you ruined me and my life! Moreover, for a deal you were pushed to break our relationship! Why?! Why did you hurt me so much that now nobody....no one can fix it? No one can fix this heart....can fix me! Only you can fix everything....fix me....fix this heart...and fix us! I was your wife for two years! We had a good marriage....I did everything to keep you happy and to love you....You also loved me. I know you did because you wouldn't have stood ground in a two year marriage for some stupid revenge! The truth is maybe you just couldn't leave me because somewhere you too felt what I felt!" I hiccupped as I wiped my tears.

Silence stood between us as his face stood still as his eyes stood still on my face. I looked up and saw his face stand still as he pursed his lips together as his hands stood still on my arms. His eyes had a twinkle in them...a hint that his eyes were masking what he felt.

"Everything is over Anika. You are not my wife anymore. We are over...." Shivaay began as he looked into my eyes. His words twisting and turning as if he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"I know deep down that no matter how you portray yourself to be...cold and isolated....you do have the ability to feel. I know that you cannot lie to me. You just cannot....If you hated me then you wouldn't have held me when I broke down, not kiss me with love everyday, not take those oaths to marry me. You just cannot marry someone on the basis of revenge-"

"Well, I can! And I did! Because when someone hurts my reputation then I will do anything to bring that person down, to break them, so they are not able to get back up and ruin me!" He yelled as he let go of me and grabbed a vase as he slammed it on the ground. I screamed as I placed my hands on my ears as he looked back at me. His face red, psychotic and full of rage as he walked towards me as I walked back in fear as I trembled. I felt myself hit the window behind me as I leaned into the white silky curtain as he came close and leaned in.

A small smirk appearing on his face as he placed his hand on my cheek as I shivered as he trailed his hand slowly up to my forehead and down to my cheek and back to my ear as he placed a lock of hair behind it. I stared at his hand that was bleeding as my eyes widened as I placed my hand on top of the wound. His smirk disappeared as his hand wrapped tightly around my hand as I yelped in pain and held on to the curtain tightly.

"I did that to you. I broke you and now you are actually beyond repair. I am so proud of myself. Proud that I actually trapped you so well that you still see me in such manner...in such good light. I cannot believe I fooled you so well that you still want me. I mean look at you. Look at yourself!" He started laughing as I felt my blood boiling. How could he just laugh seeing me like this? Was everything truly a lie?! How could he fool me in such manner? My hands went up to collar of his sherwani as I pulled him close in anger as his eyes furrowed.

"Why are you doing this?! This is not you! I know it! Tell me why?!" I yelled as he kept on smirking as he placed his hand on the back of my head as he pulled me close.

"This is me love. What I was with you in that marriage was not me. Do you get that?! Our marriage was a lie....this relationship was a lie!"

"No!No!No!....It was not a lie. You are saying this to yourself to make yourself not feel guilty! Our relationship was not a lie! Nothing was!" I yelled.

"It was! Everything was and you have to understand that! We are over Anika! We got divorced....you are no longer Mrs.Shivaay Singh Oberoi. Do you understand?! Leave now!" He yelled as I shook my head and placed my hand tightly around his hand and shook my head as he clenched his teeth in anger.

"I don't believe in this divorce! I don't! The only reason I signed that piece of paper was because you threatened to ruin my parents and me and that's why I signed that paper. If it was up to me I would never have divorced you because you know why? A piece of paper cannot erase the oaths we took....the pure oaths that bound us spiritually. No matter what....you are my husband!"

"Was! Was your husband! Alright! And how dare you speak to me in such manner! You know what I can do!" He yelled. I grabbed his arm and brought myself close to him.

"You don't know what I can do. I can tell everyone about us. I have proof and I brought it with me....You cannot just get rid of me!"

Suddenly he grabbed me as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in as his hand pierced into my waist. I stood still as his eyes laid into mines as I stopped and looked into his eyes. I could tell there was more than what he was saying as his eyes showed some amount of warmth as they used to before....

"You will not to do that. I know you won't because if I go down then you will also go down with me. Our wedding and our marriage was a secret and will be a secret....my parents would have been against this alliance and so would been yours because even this world doesn't want us to be together. Your parents do not believe in a love marriage while my parents would never approve of your class status. You have to understand that we were never meant to be. Never. Everything was a lie. Everything. I lied and took my revenge and now we are over," Shivaay said as he looked into my eyes as I felt my breath stopped. Over...just like that...how? How can he forget all the moments we have spent together....moments full of happiness and love. A relationship that was built on commitment and trust....where did it go? Where has commitment and trust gone?

"We had a future....we had plans. You were part of the plan," I replied as he immediately looked away.

"No I wasn't....you were never part of my plan. I have dreams and goals to fulfill. You were never and will never be part of it. I mean look at you! You can never be part of this class I belong to, represent and be a public face for me and my family and I mean come on really? I am shocked how for so many years you could perceive yourself to even be my wife? You are not fit for the bill!" He said as my mouth widened as I wiped my tears away. Class? What? How can he say such things about me? He never did, but now he is saying such awful comments.....how could he. How could he insult me in such manner?

"I cannot believe you are the man I loved. I cannot believe you can say such things about me. Who are you?"

"This is me. This is who I was and will always be,"

"I am giving you chance. Fight for me! Fight for us!" I begged as I held his hand into mines and looked into his eyes as he looked into mines.

"There was no us. Never will be," He said as he looked into my eyes and that was when I realized it truly was over. His eyes did not portray that love that he had for me when we were together. His eyes were cold and hardened as stone and clearly they reflected his heart that had given up on me and our relationship.

A relationship that both of us had raised together, protected and cherished was finally over. Everything did end, but why do I have this awful feeling that a part of it hadn't. Why am I feeling this way? Why cannot I just let go? How can he just go and be with her? Be with Tia?

"Tell me one thing....will Tia love you the way I did? Will she keep you happy the way I did? Will she protect you, listen to you, understand you the way I did?"

The tears began again as my hands went up to my mangalsutra as I held it in my palm and enclosed it tight.

Shivaay stared at me as he eyed my mangalsutra as he slowly looked up at me. He stood still as I did too. Something was holding us....and for some reason we both couldn't let go of each other's gaze.

"I don't find it necessary to answer you because you know why? You don't have the right to ask anymore. You are not my wife anymore"

"Fine...I know it is over. Now I know it is over....we are inching to the end of this hope I had....this hope to be with you. I don't have the energy to fight anymore....to fight for us because a relationship can only be fought for when both partners want to fight for it. This was my last battle to fight for us and I know now it is over," I sighed as I looked down at my mangalsutra as it begged to be let go. I took a deep breath as my hand went to the back of it. My hands trembled as I placed it on its hook. I attempted to open it as I struggled....I sighed as I wiggled my thumb hard and finally the hook broke as I brought my mangalsutra down and held it in my hand. I looked up at him as he stared at the mangalsutra. I walked up to him and grabbed his hand as I placed my mangalsutra on it. My hands slowly falling to the ring on my ring finger. I placed my hand on it and took it off as I placed it in his hand.

"These don't belong to me anymore...I want to curse you and wish ill upon you, but I can't....I care for you a lot, so I want you to be happy because....because I love you," I said as I stopped as he looked up at me and bit his lip as he looked into my eyes.

"And I think I will never stop loving you," I took all the energy to tear my eyes away from him as I realized I didn't want to let go....but I knew the time had come to do such as I turned around on my heel as my eyes fell on the mirror in front of me as my eyes widened as I stared at the dried blood that had edged on my forehead and filled the spot on top of my sindoor. It was his blood....I looked back at him as he looked at me as his palm enclosed the symbols of our marriage....our aged marriage.

I felt a tear drop on to my cheeks as my eyes pained and burned as they looked at him. I took a deep breath as I tried to gather courage as I turned around and began walking towards the door. My hand trembled as I slowly opened the door. Don't look back. I thought as I stepped out of the room and closed the door shut.

Flashback Ends:

My eyes stood still as I stared at the mangalsutra as Priyanka held it up before us. My eyes shifted to Shivaay whose eyes stood wide open as he stared at the mangalsutra and looked back at me. It was mine....a representation of a broken marriage. This should be meaningless to me after all these years, but then why cannot I pull my eyes from it. Why does Shivaay still have this if he was the one who broke us apart?

"Bhai...this doesn't look like Tia bhabi's..."Priyanka began as Shivaay raised his hand up at her.

He snatched the mangalsutra from her hand as my eyes widened as I stared at him holding it tightly in the palm of his hand.

"You got your necklace....now leave,"Shivaay said sternly as his eyes hardened with utter sheer coldness.

Priyanka clearly got the memo that he was in no mood to be questioned as she walked out of the walk in closet as I stood there in silence as I looked at him as he looked back at me. I played with my dupatta as I stared at his palm holding the mangalsutra. Why does he still have it? Should I ask him? I should because if our relationship mattered nothing to him then why does he still have my mangalsutra.

"That is mine....isn't it? Why do you still have it?" I asked as he looked at me as he moved his eyes around everywhere except looking at me.

"I don't want to talk about it," He bluntly replied as I furrowed my eyebrows and grabbed his hand tightly and looked into his eyes.

"What do you mean?! It has been five years since our divorce and you were married again as well, but you still have kept my mangalsutra all these years! Why?! Tell me! You were the one who said that our relationship meant nothing to you and it was a lie then why Shivaay! Why?!"

Shivaay furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back at me.

"I don't need to give you any answers. Get out of my room," He replied coldly as he snatched his hand away from mines as I looked at him curiously at his odd behavior.

"Why?! It was mine! Why do you still have it?!" I yelled.

Shivaay clenched his teeth as he wrapped his hand around my wrist tightly and began dragging me out of his room as I held on to his hand and tried to loosen my grip.

"Answer me! Why do you still have it?! I want answers!" I exclaimed as he kept dragging me.

"I decide when I want to give answers and this is not the time for it!" He slammed open his door as he pushed me out. My eyes widened as I held it as he was about to close it.

"Why are you doing this? Why? You are a puzzle....a puzzle that no one can solve. You ended our marriage and now when I want answers of why you are holding on to a symbol of that marriage....you just don't want to tell me. Maybe because you yourself do not know why you still have it? Why you still are holding on to it?....Was I right that day....your wedding day with Tia.....that you actually felt for me during this marriage....actually loved me...." I whispered the last sentence as his eyes widened as he looked at me as I did at him in hopes that he would say something. His face softened as he held on to the door as I held it.

"Just leave," He said and he slammed the door shut as I stood there and stared at the door in hopes he would open it again. But nothing. The door remained closed as I looked away.

I sighed as I turned around and felt tears gathering up in my eyes as I tried to take deep breaths and not allow them to fall. I walked silently down the hall as my dupatta dragged with me. My eyes fell on the family photos as I looked at different family members smiling as they held on to each other. I stared at the pictures and my reflection on to the frames. It is amazing how nobody knows how I was part of this family....an invisible member not seen or realized upon, but a person who was part of it.

Shivaay's Point of View

I stood in silence as I locked my door shut and slowly opened up my palm as I stared at the mangalsutra. I bit my lip as I remembered how it was once worn by Anika. I closed my eyes as I leaned back against the door. Her smile flashed in front of my eyes as she stood in my vision as the bride I saw her to be on the day of our wedding. She wore the same exact mangalsutra that was held in my palm. I sighed as I took a deep breath and stared at it. It stood still in my palm not wanting to be let go.

Why can't I let go of it? It has been five years and still I cannot let go of an aged relationship. No matter what I cannot let go of a relationship....why? What is so important about it that I cannot let go? Why cannot I just let go of it...let go of Anika...Why is her mere presence driving me crazy and making me lose control of myself? Especially, after that kiss...I cannot stop thinking about her...thinking about us. The kiss brought back feelings that I thought were long gone and part of a lie...an unreal relationship, but somehow maybe those feelings were never a lie. I never felt this way ever with any woman...not even Tia that I felt with Anika in that moment and not even just that moment, but in every moment that I spent with her.

The past two weeks have been full of thinking...Thinking what might have we been if we never got divorced. Would I have been happier than I am today? When it was only me and her I was never alone despite being just two people living together in a house...I felt like I was complete. After I left her and moved in with my own family-a big, joint family, I should have felt complete, happy and wanted, but ever since I have felt so alone.... So alone and isolated from everyone. After leaving Anika, I achieved everything that I ever wanted only because I left her and knew it was for the best for my career and future, but then why am I not happy? Why does my own family appear as a curse to me? I bit my lip as I felt my vision blur as I felt a tear drop down my cheek. My eyes widened as it made its way down and fall on the mangalsutra.

Flashback:

I closed my eyes as I stared at Anika walking out of the room as I stood with the mangalsutra tightly held in my hand. Look back...look back at me once. I thought as she walked away in silence and held onto the door as I looked at her expecting her to look back, but she didn't.

The door slammed shut as I gulped and closed my eyes as I took a deep breath.

Shivaay you are doing the right thing. That relationship was a lie. It was formed on the basis of a lie and it was meant to be ended one day.

Then why couldn't you have ended it earlier? My conscious spoke as I took a deep breath and closed my eyes shut. My conscious bringing in a sea of awareness and emotion into the logic I was trying to implement and confirm that my decision of giving Anika a divorce was correct.

Not today Shivaay. Today is very important. This wedding is important. After getting married with Tia, you would have my hands on the largest project that you would have never gotten if you hadn't agreed to marry her. My lifelong dream would be fulfilled...A dream to advance and thrive in pharmaceutical research along with a dream of expanding hospitals to wider regions and diverse regions in the U.S. I would get the funding and support that I had always wanted. Tia's father would invest his own money and funds into a dream that I had always seen. I cannot back out. And most importantly this marriage is because of....I stopped the thought not wanting emotions to get the best of me today.

Then why am I feeling so empty? Why am I feeling like I lost something big. This relationship should have never affected me, but then why is it affecting me so much? Why am I still thinking about Anika? I should be happy and focus that I fulfilled my plan that I had made initially- that I broke her and broke that ego of hers. I won a bet and I should be happy because before this bet, I had won many others and had a feeling of satisfaction and happiness and fulfillment, but why cannot I feel those feelings in this situation? -Is it because I gave up on this bet at one point...for the sake of...

I took a deep breath as I walked back and forth as Anika and my conversation kept repeating in my mind. Could I have fought for our relationship...no of course I couldn't and wouldn't have. Our relationship was meant to be broken from the start, so why would I fight for a relationship with a bleek future? But then why do I feel I should have, but why? This relationship was a lie and that's what it was always for me. I shouldn't even be thinking about all of this right now. I should be thinking about getting married to Tia and beginning my dream project.

I closed my eyes and felt Anika's face flash in front of me as I quickly opened them and slammed my fist on the wall as I stared at the mangalsutra in my hand. I sighed as I felt memories related to it flash in front of me...but if this relationship never mattered to me and was meant to win a bet and break Anika then why didn't I end it earlier? Why did our marriage last longer than I intended it to be? Why did I allow her to plan our future? I should've walked away the moment she...I sighed as I kept pondering until I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said as I looked up and saw Papa and Ma walk in with bright smiles on their faces as I quickly placed the mangalsutra in the pocket of my sherwani.

"Are you all ready?" Ma said as I shook my head as she smiled.

"I am proud of you beta. You made the right choice for our business. Actually, most importantly the right choice for you. You will reach new heights of success and achievement," Papa said as I weakly smiled as I attempted to gain confidence in my decision, but somehow I couldn't.

"You ok beta?" Ma asked as I nodded.

"Yes, let's go right? Time for the wedding," I said as they smiled as we walked out of my room and took the elevator down to the hotel lobby. Everyone smiling and shaking hands with me as I weakly smiled and tried to gather happiness from everyone, but couldn't. This was the moment when I felt the most alone. I couldn't relate to anyone not even my own family as I tried to feel the emotions of happiness and excitement for the future, but I couldn't. I couldn't gather those feelings that I once had when I was with Anika.

Everything was a blur as I had drowned myself in alcohol before presenting myself at the wedding. I felt myself walking without a soul to the main wedding hall as I felt everyone follow me. Every ritual felt alien and not relatable as I walked through rituals and welcomings into the hall. My vision blurring out happiness as I made my way to the mandap as I sat down. I felt my family smiling and hugging me as I sat there without a soul...without a part that had always been mine.

I gulped as my eyes widened as I stared into the fire...the fire that represented the end of an aged marriage and beginning of a new one, but why doesn't it feel like a beginning? Why can I not let go of a marriage that I myself had burned down? Why do I still feel that Anika is mine....that she is my wife and that no one can take that place that she had taken in my life. I tried to remove the thought as I stared at my family and their smiling faces as I attempted to gather courage and logic in order to prepare myself for a married life with Tia.

I heard the music play as I looked up and saw Tia walking in the hall as everyone showered flowers as she smiled and walked in. Cameras flashing as newsreporters tried to capture images while relatives stood in awe in how she looked. They felt attracted to her, happy for her and hopeful. They felt so happy and excited, but I couldn't gather those feelings.

I felt empty. Nothing. I couldn't feel anything...no liking, no attraction, no love as I looked at Tia as she walked in.

Feel something. Feel some emotion. My mind spoke as I tried to take in her image as my bride, but couldn't. I closed my eyes and felt Anika flash in front of me in her bridal wear as I opened the eyes as they widened as I looked at Tia. I should be getting those feelings that I got when I saw Anika walking towards me in her bridal sari, but why am I not getting it now? That relationship was based on a lie....but I felt something when I saw her as my bride even though I knew the marriage was a farse. Why do I feel that I have faced the biggest loss that could never be regained? I sighed as I kept thinking about Anika....let go of her. I repeated as I stared at Tia and faced my destiny.

Flashback Ends:

I stared at the mangalsutra as I took in a deep breath. I have to let go of Anika. We are divorced. She's not my wife. I know I broke her hope today, but I had to. I cannot just go back on my word and try to pursue a relationship that had always been based on a weak foundation. Plus, the kiss was only due to a moment, it did not mean anything. It shouldn't mean anything and I shouldn't overthink about it. In fact, I should learn a lesson from this that to stay away from Anika and not make anything much more worse than it already is. I never loved her...I mean I couldn't have. The relationship meant nothing...it shouldn't have meant anything. Then why am I still thinking about it and thinking what could have been that wasn't?

Anika's Point of View

"Awww...so you both are going to Rome for your honeymoon!" Gauri exclaimed as Priyanka nodded her head in excitement as they squeeled. I shook my head as I stared aimlessly at the magazine as my mind still drifted to the mangalsutra I had seen in Shivaay's room. Why does he still have it? Why would he still keep it eventhough we are divorced? If what he said on the wedding day was true....that our relationship was a lie then why does he still have the symbols of that marriage? I broke my thought as Gauri laughed loudly.

"Waise...you are so lucky! You know Omkara took me to Ireland...not fun at all! I wanted to go somewhere pretty, exotic, sunny, but no he took me there!" Gauri said as Priyanka laughed as she rolled her eyes.

"Anika, where would you go for your honeymoon?" Gauri asked as my eyes widened as I felt caught off guard as I looked at them as they stared at me curiously.

Honeymoon. Great the last thing I could have ever thought of. Well I did have one and it was the first time I was so happy in my life. The first time when I felt I oculd be carefree as I had someone to take care of me. All my life I had shouldered a burden of giving my parents a good life and being responsible for them that I never had fun. I was always stressed and upset about school, my grades and struggle to go into medical school that I never had time to be happy. That was the time when I was so happy....Jaipur. It was so beautiful and exotic. Shivaay knew how much of a history geek I was and how in college I had minored in history because I loved it so much. So, he took me where I had always wanted to go....Wait, why I am thinking so hard about this. I shouldn't even be thinking about a past long forgotten.

I weakly smiled and suddenly smashed the thought out of my head as Priyanka shook my shoulder.

"Huh?" I said as Gauri and Priyanka broke out laughing as I bit my lip.

"Where are you lost? Hmmm....thinking about someone special," Priyanka said as she raised her eyebrows at me curiously.

"What no! Let's not talk about this right now. I don't think that far down the road. I don't have anyone in my life right now," I said as Priyanka sighed and threw her pillow at me.

"Well, think about someone nah! Look around maybe you will find that someone special. You have to start being selfish Anika and think about yourself. Don't you want to have a husband who loves you and cherishes you and whom you love and cherish?" Priyanka said as I my gaze stopped as I stared at the picture of Shivaay hugging Priyanka behind her on the wall. I did have someone special, but not anymore and I don't think I will ever be able to replace him. I will never be able to love someone like I loved him....and he broke me. I don't think I will ever love someone because of that fear of being broken.

"What happened? Don't tell me you are still stuck on him?" Priyanka asked as my cheeks reddened in frustration as Gauri looked at both of us curiously.

"Stuck on who?" Gauri asked as Priyanka looked at her and then at me as if asking if she should tell her as I shook my head and looked at Gauri.

"Well before Anika and I met and became friends, Anika was in a very strong relationship with someone while in medical school. She loved him like crazy and guess what? He lied to her about their relationship. He had a bet with his friends to date her and then left her. Can you believe the audacity of that man? If I ever find him I will personally give him an earful and a few punches!" Priyanka exclaimed as my eyes widened. If only you knew. I don't think you would be able to do that considering how controlling and dominant he is.

"What?! Oh my God. What's his name?" Gauri asked as my eyes widened.

"Um...forget about it. I don't want to talk about him," I said.

"See that's what she says when I ask. I don't know why she always says that," Priyanka said as I placed my dupatta on my neck.

"Because that's all I have to say," I replied as Priyanka sighed and looked at me.

"Don't you want those same feelings again that you had with him?" Priyanka asked as my eyes stood still as I looked up at her. Feelings...I stopped as I tried to remember it. The feelings were still there, but buried deep within, but only for him. I sighed as I looked away from Priyanka.

"Well, I think it is late at night, so how about we go to sleep?" I said as I looked away from them.

"Look, I'm sorry Anika if I hurt you," Priyanka said as she hugged me as I shook my head and weakly smiled.

"It's ok...I am fine. How about we focus on the positive which is your wedding," I said as I smiled as she smiled.

"Anika, I am sure you will find someone special someday and he will love you more than anyone else ever did," Gauri said as I smiled and looked at her.

"Ok, tomorrow's the sangeet and I think you all need you beauty sleep right?" I said as I laid my head on the pillow and looked into plain sight.

"Awww....fine you go ahead and sleep because I know how tired you are. Let me go and curl Gauri bhabi's hair since she wants it done so bad," Priyanka said as she and Gauri walked away to the bathroom.

I sighed as I stared at the photoframe across from me which was Shivaay smiling as he stood next to Priyanka and Omkara. I sighed as I remembered that first time that everything changed between Shivaay and me. The moment when I felt something that I never did before for anyone else.

Flashback:

I sighed as I stared at the blackboard where Professor Oberoi continued explaining tariffs as I quickly wrote down my notes in the notebook as he drew a graph. It was mandatory office hours and right before the final exam, so there was a rush of students in his office with a sea of questions. Certainly, I had my set of questions, but somehow they got answered as others had similar questions. Generally, I am too shy to ask and clearly that was happening in this situation. For some reason I always had a fear of asking questions and today was no exception either. I always have had an internal fear that someone would end up laughing at me and at the ridiculous question I would ask, so I avoided to ask any.

"Any more questions?" Professor Oberoi asked as he looked at us as everyone's hands raised up with more. I stared quietly at my notebook as I made sense of the tariff problem he had written on the board.

"Anika, do you have any questions?" My head shot up as I looked at Professor Oberoi. My cheeks flushed with redness as they felt hot as I looked at him as he placed his hands in his pockets and looked at me with a slight smile on his face.

My pencil stood still on the tip of my lip as I looked at him as he looked at me.

Great, what question should I ask? I don't really have one and to be honest I am completely blanking out. I hate being put on the spot since it makes me blank out more. I fumbled as I looked at him.

"Um...um...well how is the economy affected if a trade war occurs between different countries? How do tariffs come in play?" I asked as Professor Oberoi smiled as he crossed his arms and looked at me.

"Excellent question. What raises the curiousity?" Professor Oberoi asked.

"Um...I mean historically, tariffs have been used as a means to wield political power, so that is where the curiousity comes from," I said as he smiled.

"Well, that's a good question. In fact, that is the level you all should be at. Think about how business is utilized by different parts of society and how different areas of business could have diverse effects outside of the economy. You all are future doctors, but also leaders...leaders who could bring change to society. An unequal society from which you will meet patients from diverse backgrounds whose lives and health are influenced beyond certain factors beyond their control, such as the economy that influences jobs which influences the income of individuals which in turn influence their way of living and their health," Professor Oberoi said as my eyes widened. Wow impressive. It is eery how close our viewpoints match. This is the first time I ever heard a professor being so concerned about society.

Professor Oberoi broke my thought process as he began answering my question as I looked at the board, but my gaze broke as it followed him. The way his arms moved up and down as they tightened under the navy blue blazer he wore. His blue eyes set in focus as he went upon explaining. He is so....Stop Anika. No stop that thought. He is your professor. I shouldn't even thinking about this especially since I should be focused upon my studies. I sighed as I looked at the clock strike six as office hours was officially over.

I quickly gathered my belongings and packed my backpack. I looked up and saw a swarm of girls gather around Professor Oberoi. Clearly they were attracted to him as they flirted with him. I rolled my eyes. This has been the norm ever since the semester began as I heard girls gossiping about their unofficial crush and attraction to him. Certainly, I wonder what is attractive about him...but the way I felt a while ago I could tell what other girls may find attractive about him. It's the eyes. It's always those intense eyes and the way they attempt to charm you.

I for the matter have tried to keep a safe distance from Professor Oberoi especially after our ugly encounter due to that car accident. I mean we did find common ground and made our apologies, but still I should keep a safe distance concerning the fact that he will decide my ultimate grade for the class.

I quickly walked down the stairs and out the building as a rush of cold air flew across and touched me. A swirl of snowflakes flew around in the night sky as I smiled. Snow. The signaling of the beginning of winter. This is the first time I have experienced snow. I grew up in California and in the bay area I never saw snow. Forget I never went beyond that small region anywhere else, so snow was definitely something new.

Crap, we are supposed to have a snowstorm approaching this evening. I should get home before things get worse especially concerning the fact that I never drove in snow and don't know how to. I quickly walked to the street and unlocked my car as I sat inside and started the ignition.

The roads were empty clearly indicating people had made way home to avoid the storm. I bit my finger nervously as I attempted to drive slowly as I felt the snow falling faster as I drove slowly. The streets were definitely becoming increasingly covered in snow. I should really get to home quickly.

Suddenly, my car stopped as I attempted to push the gas pedal. Why isn't this moving? I thought as I pressed the pedal hard, but somehow the car wouldn't budge. What's going on? I thought as I pressed the pedal. The car wouldn't budge. I sighed as I noticed the snow inching up more quickly. I wrapped my purple scarf tightly around me as I tried to nestle into my white sweater as I opened the door. My eyes widened as I stared at the tires that had snuggled in deep into the white snow. Crap, this is not good. Mom was right, I should have gotten the snow chains, but I forgot. It's all because of finals. Finals are next week and clearly I have lost it with all the studying.

I sighed as I took out my phone to call the tow truck for help, but clearly luck was not on my side as there was no signal on my phone. I looked around and noticed only homes with windows and doors shut. No one was in sight to ask any help from.

Great, just great. I hit my phone hard as if doing such would allow it to get signal. Suddenly I felt my eyes squint as a pair of car lights approached me. I looked up curiously as a mini white colored SUV drove down quietly on the road. I raised my eyebrow. Should I flag them down? Well, it is late evening. It's clearly not safe to flag anyone down, especially in this part of the city. I thought. The SUV stopped as I raised my eyebrow as I looked at it. I quickly looked away as I rubbed my elbows as the cold air rushed through my body as I attempted to warm up my sweater.

"Hey! Anika!" I heard someone call as I the voice sounded familiar. I quickly turned around and noticed it was Professor Oberoi as he quickly walked down the path towards me as I looked at him as a faint smile appeared on my face realizing I probably won't be stranded after all.

"What are you doing here all alone?" Professor Oberoi asked as he walked up to me as I looked at him.

"This is not the safest part of the city. You shouldn't be here," He said as I rubbed my elbows and looked at him.

"Actually, my car got stuck in the snow. It's totally my fault because my mom did tell me to get snow chains, but I forgot to do it. Clearly very stupid. I was attempting to call the tow truck to help me, but my phone has no signal," I said panicking and full of anxiousness as Professor Oberoi looked at my tires. Whenever, I get nervous and stressed out I have a habit to ramble and clearly I was rambling nonstop.

"Yeah, it will definitely be hard to get this car out soon considering the fact that storm is practically here. In fact, it is going to get worse soon. I won't be surprised if the car gets snowed in," Professor Oberoi said. My eyes widened as I looked at him. Snowed in? As in buried in snow?

"What? Really? I mean snowed in like literally snowed in?" I said as he shook his head and looked at me.

"Pretty sure....um you can call the tow truck and get it towed, but to be honest it is forecasted the storm will give a pretty big hit at 8:00 and its 7:00 already. I highly doubt the tow truck will come through such harsh conditions and help," He said as I gulped nervously as I looked at the car. How will I get home? I mean I have to get home? My anxiety kicked in as I tried to take in a deep breath.

"What about the police? They can help right?" I asked as he bit his lip and looked at me as I tried to look for hope.

"We can try, but honestly I think they will likely be busy and it will be hard for them to come and help you considering conditions will likely be getting worse soon. Their safety is important too," He said.

"Great! Just great. Anika you have definitely screwed big time," I said talking to myself in third person as I slammed my hand on the roof of the car.

"Look...um....I can help you," He said as I raised my eyebrow and looked at him.

"Help?" I said curiously as he looked around and then at me.

"It's not safe for you to be out here in the snow. Clearly, you can see we will get a large amount of snow today. So, um...I can take you with me. We should leave your car here. My bodyguard Khanna, you see there in the driver's seat, will take care of towing your car. I mean just keep the car here, take the keys, Khanna will call the tow truck when it will be more safe for it to be towed. Honestly, the roads are empty and I highly doubt anything will happen to your car," He said as I bit my lip and looked at him.

Go with him? I mean how? He's my professor and clearly we have a professional relationship. How can I just go with him? I mean I just cannot do that.

"Look, I'm a gentleman and your professor. You will be safe if you come with me. I cannot just leave you here like this in unsafe conditions," I looked up at him as I figited with my hands.

Well, he is my professor and to be honest I have to get home. This is the only way I can stay safe. I cannot just strand myself here in the snow. I should trust him. I thought as I looked at him as he faintly smiled.

"Um...ok. I will do that. Thank you for willing to help me," I said as he smiled as I quickly opened the door and grabbed my backpack as I locked the door.

"No problem," Professor Oberoi replied as I followed him as he walked ahead of me swiftly. I sighed as Professor Oberoi opened the passenger door for me as I got in quickly into the heated surroundings as Shivaay sat down right besides me as he closed the door shut.

"Where to sir?" Khanna asked him as he looked back at me as I fastened my seatbelt.

"Where to?" He asked as I looked at him.

"Um...405 Ashberry Road," I said as Khanna put in the address on the GPS.

"Warning, roads blocked on route," The GPS monitor announced. My eyes widened as I looked back at Professor Oberoi.

"What? How? I mean how?" I repeated nervously as I looked at Khanna.

"Well, likely the roads that are headed towards where you live are blocked by snow," Khanna said as my eyes widened.

"What? How will I get home?" I questioned as I looked at him.

"Well, are there any alternative routes?" Professor Oberoi asked as Khanna tried to look for other routes, but clearly the roads were blocked.

"I am sorry, but I can't find any routes that are not blocked,"

My throat tightened as I felt my body feeling hot as I anxiously tugged on my sweater. How will I get home? I mean I obviously cannot get home, but then where will I go? I don't have anywhere to go. I mean don't know anyone in the city and really haven't made any friends who would be willing to offer me a place to stay.

Professor Oberoi leaned back in the car seat as he placed his finger under his chin as he looked at me. I sighed as I looked ahead with my eyes wide open.

"Do you know anybody in the city that can help you?" Professor Oberoi asked as I gulped and looked at him.

"Not really," I said as he sighed and looked at me.

"Well...my house is a bit farther down in the city, but I'm sure the roads may not have been blocked down there completely," Professor Oberoi said as I looked up at him. My eyes widened. What? His house? No...I mean no. Of course not. He is my professor and I cannot even think about such thing. I mean we hardly know each other and heck I have never slept over anybody's house, so why would I stay the night at a guy's house. No matter how modern I might appear, I am quite conservative in such matters. But, if I say no then where will I go?

"Look I know what you are thinking. I mean am your professor and clearly it will be highly awkward if you come to my house, but think about it. Where will you go in such weather? It is not safe for either of us to be out here in such weather. Once the snow stops, Khanna will drop you at your home. Until then you can stay at my house. Believe me it's completely safe. Trust me," He said as I looked into his eyes as he did into mines'. Should I trust him? I don't know if I should, but then where else could I go? If it wasn't for the weather I would not have even sat in this car because I am a girl with some self-respect. If mom finds out that I am going with a man to his house she would immediately disown me. God, what should I do? I looked out at the window and saw snow piling up on the road as I sighed. Well, he is my professor and I mean he appears like a decent man because he at least didn't leave me just deserted out there in the snow and he sacrificed his own safety by willing to stop his car and check on my safety in such harsh weather. I looked at him as he looked at me. I mean I should trust him, he doesn't seem harmful or anything. I sighed as I looked at him.

"Ok...I will go with you and then leave right when it's safe to go outside," I said as he smiled.

"Good, let's go then," He said as Khanna began driving down the road in silence.

I sighed as I wrapped the end of my scarf around my finger as Professor Oberoi sat with his leg placed on his thigh as he looked out the window. I felt my heart rate speed up as I nervously sat there. This is so highly awkward. Clearly, this is the last place I would want to be. Me and Professor Oberoi all alone together in the same car. Worst of it, I would be going to his house.

I felt Professor Oberoi's gaze on me as I looked at him as he looked away and looked straight ahead. Why do I felt that he was staring at me? Stop it Anika. Stop imagining. In fact, stop thinking nonsense and such rubbish. I really think the nonstop studying has effected me mentally....the stress is really getting to my head and definitely making me imagine nonsense.

The scenery began changing as more snow piled on the road as Khanna made his way down the empty roads of the city. This definitely was a posh area of the city as I noticed luxury apartments grazing the roads as designer stores lined up the streets. The streets lit up with holiday lights that colored the pile of snow as red, yellow, and green as it fell on to the streets.

We stopped as I looked outside and noticed barriers in front of the road indicating the road was closed.

"Sorry sir, the road is closed ahead," Khanna said as Professor Oberoi placed his phone in his pocket and looked at him.

"It's fine. We can walk from here. My home is only two blocks down from here," Professor Oberoi said as he turned around and looked at me. I shook my head as I opened the door and grabbed my backpack and placed it on my shoulders as Professor Oberoi grabbed his laptop bag and a large black umbrella.

The night was beautiful as snowflakes, appearing like bright crystals, fell down on the ground as the wind blew silently signaling the presence of the snowstorm. I began walking in silence as I felt Professor Oberoi's steps follow me. I smiled as I captured a snowflake on my palm as I looked at it as it vanished. I smiled at the magic of it as I closed my palm.

I felt a shadow upon me as I looked up and saw a black umbrella as I looked down as Professor Oberoi held it over me. He smiled slightly as I looked up at the umbrella.

"Where are you going? I think I am the guide," Professor Oberoi said as I felt my cheeks flush in red as I felt embarrassed over my lack of consideration as we began walking.

"Thanks for the shield," I said pointing up to the umbrella as he smiled and looked ahead. I brought myself closer under the umbrella as I felt the snowflakes attach to the locks of my hair as I moved a lock away from my face. Today was not the day to leave my hair open. I felt it fly around as I tried to move my face away from them.

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