14 May 2016

Seokchon, Seoul, Republic of Korea

He's cuddling me in his arms and this undeniable feeling of happiness washes over me. His face is blurry, but I know he's smiling. He holds me, tiny and fragile, over his head while his mouth moves to form words I can't understand. I open and close my small hands, reaching for him and making happy noises.

The man holding me is handsome even though I can't really see him very well. I watch him continue to speak and try it myself. My lips feel strange when I try to move them. However, as I do this, he breaks into a joyful celebration, holding me close to his chest now. It's warm and being in this man's arms, I know I'm safe and loved.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, we love you Misung!"

A symphony of high and deep-pitched voices pull Miranda from her comforting dream. She blinks slowly, breathing in deeply as she comes to. Around her, the faces of her close friends come into focus around her. Her eyes are drawn to Yoongi, though, because he's singing in a comically deep opera voice as they finish the song.

"Happy birthday to you!"

Everyone around her claps as Jieun helps her sit up in bed. The girl's smiling face is not one she expected to see, especially since she had said the previous day that she wouldn't be able to make it to her birthday gathering.

Jieun smooths a hand over Miranda's hair before giving her a kiss on the head. "Make a wish!"

She just now notices the small cake that Taehyung is holding in front of her. The number '23' is written in vibrant blue icing atop the elegant white ruffles of the frosting. Miranda pauses—she doesn't know what to wish for. She has great friends, a successful career, more money than she knows what to do with—how can she ask for more?

So she doesn't. Silently, Miranda wishes for her friends to be healthy before blowing out the candles. She notices Jungkook becoming increasingly fidgety around Jieun—though it's no secret that she's his celebrity crush.

Taehyung leans back with the cake, a smile plastered on his face while Seokjin gropes at her ankle through her bedspread, seemingly trying to find something. She squirms, but he only points a finger at her accusingly. "Hey—what'd you wish for, brat?"

"Coke and...whores," she lies, pulling a laugh from the seven people in the room with her. That's when she realizes that something's missing. Or rather, someone. There should be eight.

"To the kitchen!" Seokjin announces before leading everyone out.

Before he can go, Miranda gently takes hold of Jimin's wrist. "Where's Joon?"

Jimin's eyes are wide and unblinking as he stares back at her like a deer in headlights. She watches him swallow hard, seemingly searching for an excuse as he's been silent for too long now. "He—"

"It's fine," she finishes for him, letting go of his wrist. "I get it. He's my ex, we shouldn't even be hanging out anyway."

Satisfied with this, Jimin runs out of the room to join his bandmates, leaving only Jieun and Miranda. Jieun closes the door while Miranda swings her legs over the side of the bed before standing up and smoothing her pajama shirt.

Jieun snorts. "Kim Namjoon, that coward. It's been years since you broke up—he could at least come to your fucking birthday..."

"Maybe it's good that he isn't here," she replies quietly, walking over to her closet to pull out a simple outfit. "He asked me a weird question not too long ago and things have been awkward ever since."

Watching her quickly change into the peach ruffly dress shirt and black slacks, Jieun narrows her eyes. "What'd he ask?"

Miranda pauses where she's pulling her pants up. It was an odd and unexpected question. Quite frankly, she still doesn't know what possessed him to ask it. Her head temporarily looks back at her bedside table where her phone is blowing up—probably with birthday messages from seniors and juniors in the industry.

"He asked if I think about him."

"And you said...?"

She buttons her slacks and places both hands in her pockets while looking in the mirror to make sure it's appropriate for the occasion. "I didn't have the chance to say anything, but if I had, I still wouldn't know what to say."

"Well, do you still have feelings for him?" Jieun asks while picking up Miranda's pajamas and throwing them into the hamper next to her bathroom door.

Although it takes a moment for her to think, she's sure that she has absolutely no romantic feelings left for him. She can't. "No."

"Good," her best friend is quick to answer while going to open her door. "He's trash."

Miranda sighs, walking into the bathroom for a minute to grab a hair tie before brushing her hair and putting it into a high ponytail. "He's not trash, Ji—we all make mistakes," she calls before coming back into the room.

"Yes, and dating him was one of your biggest ones." After the snide comment, Jieun crosses the threshold to the living room, Miranda hot on her heels.

Together, the girls enter the kitchen where Jungkook is looking through her cupboards while Taehyung sits on her counter eating a pack of goldfish crackers she had forgotten was even there. Jungkook mutters something to himself about her "stupid sugar-free diet" while Hoseok makes a big deal over her outfit.

"Wow, wow—serving looks, birthday girl!" He takes her hand while examining her head-to-toe. "Twirl," he commands. She obeys, laughing all the while. "Very nice." After approving, he lets go of her hand and hands a poorly-wrapped rectangle to her.

Miranda takes it, turning it over in her hands. It's about the size of a book but is heavier than it looks. "You guys got this for me?"

"No, it's for your dying ficus on the patio," Yoongi says with absolutely no expression from where he sits on a stool at her bar.

Pinching one of his cheeks with increased pressure, Miranda smiles. "What would I do without your meaningful sarcasm, Yoonie?"

Yoongi swats her hand away with a small smile before nodding at the present. "Just open it."

Jieun scoffs, leaning on the counter from the kitchen side. "A book? Weak. Your present is dirt compared to mine."

"Aggressive words from such a small girl," Seokjin remarks before taking a goldfish cracker from Taehyung.

"Cheap shot," she growls, pointing a finger at him as she gives him a scowl.

While they bicker, Miranda carefully unwraps the present, sitting beside Yoongi in the process. The outside of the box is green and white, but she doesn't see the writing until all of the wrapping paper—which is Christmas themed, by the way—is off. The word reads "Ancestry" in English, sending Miranda's heart into a frenzy.

"Oh my God!" she shouts. "This is the DNA kit I've been wanting!"

Jimin smiles, placing a hand on her back momentarily. "You always said you wanted to know what your exact ethnicity was, so—here you go."

"You guys, I love it!" she exclaims, running around the kitchen to give each of the boys a hug. Taehyung is giggly, amused as he watches her bounce all around. "I'll go do it right now!"

Without another word, she rushes into the hallway bathroom next to the kitchen and unpacks the contents of the package. After reading the instructions, she takes the long Q-tip and rubs one side of it on the left side of her throat, as deep as she can. Afterward, she places the Q-tip in the tube provided and puts her bar code sticker on it. After placing it in the envelope, she runs out to announce she's going downstairs to mail it before leaving.

She trots down the building stairwell, grateful for the sunshine that kisses her skin through the large windows. Down at the mailboxes, Miranda quickly gives the bulging envelope to the desk clerk to send out. When she turns around, she notices a familiar female standing outside and taking pictures of the building.

Miranda peeks her head through the main entrance, giving the girl a smile. "Iseul!" She waves at her, not surprised when the girl takes a picture of her. "Where's Hoon? You guys usually walk this route together."

Iseul smiles back, lowering her camera. "He's snooping around the SM building. They usually give us the best scandals."

Iseul and Hoon are photographers for Dispatch. During certain days, they usually walk around the wealthy celebrity neighborhoods looking for story leads. Miranda has become familiar with them and often greets them when she sees them at airports, shows, or the street her building is on.

"Well, give him my best!"

The girl nods. "Oh—happy birthday, by the way!"

"Thank you, dear!"

Having good company is something Miranda has always cherished. Good friends and good people around her in general always lift her spirits. It's good that she's enjoying these times right now because she really has no idea how hard things are going to get. In the past, she hadn't expected bad times, but they weren't a surprise, either.

It's funny how fast we can plummet when we reach our life's peak.