"you know it's never gonna work"

November 29, 1965

Dear Alex,

The war in Vietnam is getting worse, they say. It's scary. Some of the teachers and older students have been drafted, which is not a good thing. Charles is a little stressed because it has only been the first semester of school, and a lot of people have left. The school is becoming more and more empty as the weeks pass on.

I know for sure that Charles won't be drafted. Me too. But you and Hank and Sean are a different story. Alex, you could be taken away from me for an unknown amount of months or even years. I can tell you are scared too even though you tell me to be brave. But it's hard. It's very hard. I couldn't bear to lose you. (You might wonder if I already know if you've been drafted because I can read your future; well, I don't. I haven't touched you long enough to see every little detail. Just the more important ones. Like your...death.) 

These letters are getting hard to write also. I feel like you have noticed why I sometimes go off by myself to write, and you worry about me. Which is sweet, but I'm fine. I promise. Just scared.

Back to the war, I've tried hard not to but my mind tries to connect it to your future. I can't hone in on the specific circumstances to your futu-death, but I really hope they aren't connected. I really, realllyyyyyy hope.

And all this is happening so close to our one year anniversary, which passed a few days ago. That was one thing to look forward to in all this depression, I guess. It blows my mind how far we've come. You really want to stick with me, huh?

Sean is yelling for me to come down for dinner, so that's my cue to go. See you at dinner, Summers.

Love, Neva Summ [crossed out]

Love, Neva Liu

PS: Please ignore that mistake if you ever read these (which I hope you don't); pen can't erase and I forgot.

~

Neva folded up the letter and placed it into a medium-sized cardboard box which held the other various letters. She raced down the stairs and slid down the banister, almost sliding onto Charles.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she said, her hands flying to her mouth as she stood up. He smiled warmly.

"It's no problem; just don't give the students any ideas." She nodded meekly.

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing, dear. Let's go eat, shall we?" She nodded again and rolled his wheelchair to the kitchen. Neva saw that his smile was more tired and weary. She wished she could do something to help. She hoped that this horrible war would all stop, that the students would come back, that mutants were accepted, that Alex and her would never be separated.

But she knew it was never going to work.

"Neva! Finally, Future Girl!" Sean yelled happily. She rolled her eyes at the nickname (it was newly developed) and let Charles wheel in himself. Alex was sitting in a chair by the countertop and was reading papers. Probably grading some essays. Neva reminded herself to grade papers later.

"Hey, sweetie," Alex mumbled as she walked over. She leaned down and looked at his work. She pointed to one grammatical error, and he looked up at her with a smile. "This is a history paper, not an English one."

"Yep," she said, but grinned when he marked it. "You're welcome." She hugged him from behind the chair and kept reading the student's paper. "How's Scott?" Alex put down the paper and stroked her gloved arms. His eyes brightened at the thought of his unborn little brother.

"My parents say he's getting big faster," he said happily. Neva smiled. She knew he was very excited for this new little brother.

"I hope I can meet him one day," she said. He pulled her arms, and she yelped a little as he pulled her down to sit on his lap. "Alex! There are students around! Geez!" Some younger students ducked their heads out of the kitchen, and the older ones smirked.

"Do you really think I care, Neva?" Alex laughed.

"Well I do, Mr. Summers." The two gulped as they turned and saw Charles raising his eyebrow.

"Ahem, um, sorry Charles," Neva murmured, clearing her throat. She got off the chair and dusted off her pants awkwardly. He smiled some more.

"Just keep it down, lovebirds!" Sean yelled from across the kitchen, food in his mouth.

"Sean! No talking with food!" Hank yelled back from the other side. Neva and Alex stifled their laughs. Charles sighed a bit but smiled bigger.

"Well...Sean always brightens things up," said Neva.

"Indeed he does," Charles said with a laugh. They all turned their heads sharply - Charles hadn't laughed in awhile. They all exchanged glances and grinned. The young Charles was back, which meant that the night would be one of the best in a long time.

And they were right. Until it was all over.

A couple of  hours and lots of laugh after, there was a knock on the door. Hank stood up from the floor and went downstairs to open it. Charles took another sip of tea, his eyes twinkling. He had just told one of the most outrageous stories Neva had ever heard, and she and Alex were still wide eyed from it. Hank came back up, but something was wrong. His head hung, and it looked like he was crying. Neva ran over and went to hug him, Alex went after her. Hank looked up at...Sean. Sean looked scared. Charles' eyes widened - he had read Hank's mind. 

"Oh god," whispered the professor. He put down his cup shakily. Hank burst into tears and sank to the floor. Neva kept hugging him and asking him what was wrong.

"S-sean...m-military...downstairs..." His words were lost in his sobs. Alex's hand went to his mouth. Charles looked at Sean, who had tears in his eyes. Charles walked him to his room while the rest of the three went to the door to meet a man in military uniform. Thank goodness all the children are asleep. Hank held onto Alex while Neva was handed a piece of paper.

Sean Cassidy, mutant, Banshee, member of the X-Men, had been drafted into the army. A special forces in Vietnam. There was a small signature of a man named Treak or something like that. Neva could barely read it, her eyesight was getting more and more blurry.

"Is he here?" the man said. Neva looked up. She debated about lying, saying he wasn't, just so Sean could stay. Instead, she nodded.

"Mr. Cassidy is here," Charles' voice came through. Sean was holding a duffel bag, and his eyes were red. This was wrong, Neva thought. He's just a boy! He can't! No! With all her might, she refrained herself from punching the army man.

"Neva..." Alex pulled her gently towards him. Hank had left to Charles' study, so Neva hugged Alex tightly. Sean looked back at them - his eyes big and watering, his freckled face scared. Before she knew it, she ran out and grabbed Sean. He grabbed her also.

"When you come back, tell me all the jokes you learned, promise?" she whispered. He nodded into her hair. "Be safe, Banshee."

"I will, Future Girl," he teased with a crack. Neva felt her arm being pulled away, and Sean felt himself being pulled away. "Neva!" he shouted desperately, but Alex quickly pulled her back.

"Alex, he can't, it's all w-wrong," she stuttered into Alex's shirt. He nodded.

"I know, I know," he whispered. Neva heard the door close shut. Hank was heard in tears in the study.

"I'll go over," Charles said. Neva blurrily saw him wheel away. She looked up into Alex's blue eyes.

"I never got to read his future. I could've...I could've seen this happening...I could've prevented this ...I-I..." Alex put a hand over her mouth. She got a flash of a memory - he was just a kid, smiling with his family in New York City. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing it to go away. He took his hand away and murmured an apology.

"Neva, there's nothing you could've done, ok?"

"But-"

"Shhh. Sean will come back. He's a tough guy, alright? He'll be back soon. I know it," Alex said. She nodded, but slightly doubtfully. Hank came out with Charles, sniffing. Charles seemed even more defeated and tired.

"Alright, children," he said. "Time for sleep." There was no Sean to say a remark about "not being children." There was no Sean to poke them as they all walked upstairs to their rooms. There was...no Sean.

Alex held onto Neva's waist tightly as they walked upstairs. He eventually scooped her up and carried her bridal style because she started to falter slightly. He gently laid her on her bed. Neva was too tired with everything to say goodnight to her boyfriend. She fell asleep as soon as she touched the pillow. Alex smiled slightly, laid down next to her, looked over her one last time, and then fell asleep next to her.

He heard Charles cry softly from the room over.

~

FIVE YEARS LATER...

March 11, 1970

Neva woke up bleary eyed. She saw Alex next to her and went to wrap her arms around him. Her gloves were still on from last night. He stirred slightly.

"Hey hon," he murmured. She smiled at the nickname. He switched between "sweetie" and "honey." It was adorable. There were no sounds outside: Hank had dragged Charles out with him to the store (there was a note on her nightstand). There were no students. They had all been sent home or drafted. There were no teachers either. They all left, most of them were in the war. Even sweet James Cavern was gone. Everything was gone. It was only the four of them left.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty."

"Aw, are you calling me beautiful?" He turned around and made a face.

"Oh stuff it, Summers." They both laughed. Neva kissed him once on his neck, ignored the small memories, and then swung her legs off the bed.

"Come back..." Alex mumbled sleepily. He reached for her, but she was too quick.

"Not today, Alex. C'mon, get up before Hank barges in," she said as she walked towards her drawers to get some clothes. He groaned and then got off the bed. He ran over sneakily and grabbed her waist, making her yell a little then laugh. "Hey, Mr. Summers, just because you're 25 now doesn't mean you can do whatever you want." Alex mumbled a denial and pushed his face into her hair. "You're such a child."

"Hey! I am 25 years old!" he said, muffled. The day before had been Alex's 25th birthday, a very momentous occasion. Charles had actually gone out of the house to buy a cake with Hank, and Neva had distracted Alex by the lake whilst also trying to decorate as best as she could. Alex was very happy about all of them at his birthday, all four of them. His parents had even sent a card with a picture of four year old Scott Summers, who turned out to be a very healthy baby. He taped the picture into his room (although he never slept in his room anymore). They had visited Scott once, a couple days after he was born. Neva met the Summers, and though they seemed wary of her, she was at least a bit respected. She and Alex had been dating for a whole two years after all.

Oh yes, that was another big thing that the four mutants were excited about: Neva and Alex. It had been a whole six years. They had all flown past so quickly; Neva was surprised at how it seemed that it was just yesterday that Alex had taken her to the mall on their first date.

Of course, Hank had started asking her about wedding plans. She just blushed and mumbled a "I have work to do, I'll talk to you later." But to tell the truth, she was wondering the same. Was Alex going to propose soon? It seemed like such a big moment that they hadn't really talked about it. They were both preoccupied with the disappearing students and teachers. Also, Neva had a feeling, an odd feeling, that she and Alex were never going to officially end up together forever. It was because of his future - which she had learned to push away a lot.

"You're a very big baby," Neva muttered. She pulled out a shirt and some jeans. There was also a gun, but she folded some socks over it. The X-Men hadn't trained in awhile, but Neva still was one of the best shooters in the world (according to Hank).

Alex shook his head and laughed, then released her, going towards the door to his own room.

"See you downstairs, hon," he waved. She waved back and quickly changed. She had to make sure Charles was not taking too much of the test serum from Hank. It was Neva's daily check up. Charles had become a totally different person. He was deflated, depressed, and had started taking a serum that Hank had made to give him moments of his legs. Most of all, he had began to stop caring. About the school, about his family, about mutants, even about his own life. He blamed himself the schools' emptiness. No matter how hard they tried to talk to him, he had stopped listening and it was a great difficulty to wake him up in the morning.

Neva shrugged on a light jacket, tightened her gloves, and went to the kitchen. She saw one bottle of the serum on the table and sighed in relief. One bottle was ok. She started dragging things out of the fridge and heard Alex slide down the banister. She turned around and ran right into his lips. After melting slightly, Neva scrunched up her face and pulled away. She pushed away his future: the fire, the explo-

"Do you want to eat?" she interrupted her own thoughts and asked in an authoritative manner. He rolled his eyes and helped her grab some bread and breakfast foods.

"But no one is home right now," he protested. "We can go outside or something! Climb trees, swim maybe! I don't know!" Alex latched onto her waist again and pulled her close to him. Neva didn't try to struggle, he was much stronger than her. She put her arms around his neck and stood on her toes.

"Uh huh. Charles would know if we didn't eat. Then he'd make us eat, then Hank would cook and he doesn't like cooking and then..." Alex cut her off with another kiss. "Alex!" she mumbled. He pulled back and grinned.

"I love you too, Ms. Liu." She rolled her eyes. There was a throat clearing, and Neva saw Charles and Hank over Alex's shoulder. She waved and then pushed Alex off gently.

"Hey! How was your trip?" she asked. "I got some bread and stuff for breakfast."

"Bread?" came a small voice. Neva turned in confusion. Charles wheeled out of the way, and she saw a small, raven-haired child holding onto Hank's hand tightly.

"Oh my god," Neva whispered. Alex responded quicker. He went over and kneeled down.

"Hey," he said softly. The little girl went behind Hank's leg.

"Hi."

"What's your name?"

"Rivera." Alex smiled.

"Hi Rivera. I'm Alex. That's Neva." He pointed at Neva, who waved slightly. She had never seen another mutant who looked like her - Asian, scared, small. She suddenly had flashbacks of her own childhood.

"Hi Mr. Alex." The little girl smiled. Kids always liked Alex.

"It's just Alex but thank you! How old are you, River? Can I call you that?" She nodded and raised up four fingers. Neva saw Charles smile slightly. "Wow! Four! You're such a big girl!" River giggled.

"Come on, River," Hank said gently. "We can go to your room."

"Ok!" she said happily. The two walked away, and Alex stood up. Neva put down the food and walked over.

"Charles, who is that?" she asked slowly.

"Her name is Rivera Lee. Hank and I found her at a public pool," Charles explained. "I read her most recent memories, and her family threw her out because she showed a small mutation at such a young age."

"Something with water?" Alex asked. Charles nodded.

"Water manipulation, I'm guessing."

"She's four," Neva murmured. Charles nodded. "Charles...she's four! We haven't had kids that young in years!" She started to panic. "And-and-and we can't take care of her! This is not a home anymore...not a school. Maybe it was an accident...not-not an actual mutation..."

"Neva, dear, calm down," Charles said. She looked up at him.

"Professor, the only person out of all of us who was good with kids that age is...is...was..." She stopped. They hadn't heard back from Sean in five years.

"Is in the army," Alex finished. She nodded shakily.

"She's only four years old. Four! You know it's never going to wor-"

"We can take care of her,"  Charles interrupted. Neva wanted to shake her head, yell at him that he was becoming a drug addict, that this was no more a place for children.

Instead, she nodded.

"Ok." Alex hugged her.

"We can do this," he whispered in her ear. She nodded back, doubtful but also determined.

~

A/N: OK SO! LEMME EXPLAIN FOR A SEC! Yes, this is part of the DIVIDE SERIES, which also includes PERFECT, which means yes River Lee (my other OC) is going to be apart of this story. I suggest reading PERFECT also, but it doesn't matter whether you read it after this story is over (which might be soon ahhh) or while this story is continuing. As for me, I will be focusing a bit more on this story at the moment and then continue with River's story because there are little hints in this one about the next book. Also some of you might be wondering why River hasn't mentioned Neva at all, but don't panic ok? There's a plot to this book of sadness.

OK WOW THAT WAS A LONG A/N SORRY; BASICALLY SHAMELESS SELF PROMO - GO READ PERFECT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY AND I ALSO LOVE RIVER AND SCOTT

DALVIE OUT