Dear David,
Or should I say, Ponyboy, I remember how I first met you in seventh grade. We were an awkward bunch, but the others and I sat together with you at lunch. You were always reserved, but I noticed your little grins and how you always listened. When eighth grade came around, we started calling you ponyboy because we thought you looked like Ponyboy from The Outsiders. You even thought so. We made memories and inside jokes together. We were a dysfunctional group; they left me out, talked behind my back sometimes, made fun of me, and were only really my friend to copy my homework and have someone to hang around with to not look like a loner, but we still had moments of friendship and unity. When high school came around, no one really bothered to acknowledge me as their friend, but I remember how I saw you after school looking so sullen, so I walked over and talked to you. We didn't have many classes together, but I always talked to to you when I could. You were always so nice and gentle, yet mysterious. You were one of those people that noticed things, but kept them to yourself and respected others. You were a wallflower.
Then came the time when I had to move away... I didn't think I had anything to lose because I didn't really have all that many friends or was attached to much, but then I remembered you. I messaged you and it broke my heart when I heard about your mom's mental illness and how your parents abused you. You told me that you went into the foster system just like me. We understood each other's pains and we were great friends despite the distance. You talked to me about wanting to end your life and all the pain a few times. I tried so hard to keep you from giving up, because I was close to doing the same myself. One day, you just stopped messaging me. It was until a few months later you told me that you returned back to your home with your parents and your dad didn't allow you to talk to me; I suppose because you might've told me too much about the things that went on behind closed doors. I tried to reach you, but you never responded. After awhile, I gave up trying to contact you and now I regret it so much because I lost someone that I could have easily helped. I lost someone who understood some of the things I went through, and we could've faced them together as friends, but I made a mistake by giving up. It only would have taken a few minutes out of my day to send you a message and check up on you or even just to say something nice even if you couldn't respond. I'm sorry David. I really hope you're in a better place now, without pain and without feeling that everything is useless. I hope you are resting in peace.
I know you might've felt no one loved you, but I love you as a friend and you will always be in my heart. Thank you for teaching me to not give up on anyone and being my friend when not a lot of people wanted to be my friend. You are so special to me. I know it was hard being someone who saw things and just kept quiet. I know you were very, very good at observing things and understanding things and you noticed so many things, that unfortunately, you were able to understand and see every little disgusting thing about this world. I'm sorry that the corruptness of our world and society stood out to you more than the love you received. I'm sorry that you didn't receive the love you needed. If only someone was there to love you and adore you, to treat you gently and validate your feelings and thoughts... if only there was someone who you could share your thoughts about the things you saw, maybe you wouldn't have to see things and keep it all in, maybe your feelings would have been more bearable. You had a lot of talent David, you were a great person and you could have gotten very far in life. You only needed to resist a few more years with your parents and you would have been free. You were so talented with your music, especially playing guitar. You ventured far into music, as far as the music that wasn't mainstream and weren't known by many. I remember how I was a fan of Red the band for a short time and I was so shocked you were too! You were full of surprises, and one thing I found funny about you was that you baked.
Looks can be real deceiving. When I first met you, I would have never thought that you liked to bake. According to your family, your specialty was lemon meringue pie. You were intrigued with history and very smart, you were in honors classes too. I wish you saw all the talent and potential you had. You were the guy that was always there for people when they needed a friend. You were also the guy who faced many issues alone, but would still do anything to see someone else smile. You were very talented with graphic design and art, it inspired me. One of my favorite movies, besides The Perks, is Meet The Robinsons, and that was your favorite movie too, I'm guessing because of the happily ever after and the close family bonds in the movie. You could have had a family and a happy ever after like that too David, if only you held on. Remember how you loved reading? We could have hung out at the library some time and just stick our faces in books and have the best time ever without ever saying a word to each other... but you're not here anymore. I bet you left a lot of people wondering, " why do the best people always die?" If you were asked that question, you would probably say something deep, like, " When we cut flowers, which ones do we cut? The most beautiful ones. That's why." You promised me that you wouldn't hurt yourself David... You promised. It hurts that you broke the promise, but I know it felt like there was a big boulder on you all day , everyday and it became unbearable and you felt hopeless, so I understand why you did what you did. I forgive you now, and I miss you.... I hope you're in a better place. You will always be in my heart and I will never give up on anyone else because of what you taught me. Thank you for everything David. I'm going to try to say goodbye now because I need to start my mission of loving others endlessly and never giving up on them, so I don't lose another precious person like you. I love you.
Love always,
Your forever friend,
N. V.
_______________________________
David Robert McLain
Born September 7th, 1999
Committed suicide June 5th, 2016.

Please light a candle for him.