July, 5th of 1797

"My dear Laura:

I'm afraid I don't know enough words to describe to you the horrifying experience my fellow brothers and I recently went through. Yesterday was one of the worst —if not, the worst— day of my life. I can't sleep, thinking of the disgusting acts we were forced to perform, under direct orders from our superiors. We slaughtered a whole town in the name of the republic, but lawfulness and fairness —those promised traits of our new world, that were sold to us blindly— weren't present throughout the ordeal. You were right in that sense. My idealism blinded me.

One of the most barbaric things I saw whilst fighting in that city was a young woman on fire, from head to toe, screaming for help as she ran towards our troops. Her skin was hanging from her bones like the melted wax of a candle, and falling to the bloody ground bellow like leaves from a dying tree. Someone begged me to put her out of her misery, so I did. With one single shot, I sent her to the loving arms of the Lord, away from the painful reality of life. She fell right as the buildings around us collapsed under the blows of the heavy artillery. I could her cries echo throught the burning city, in the voices of her neighbors. I had no choice but to ignore the guilt that choked me in that moment, and the horrid smell of burning flesh that lingered in my nose, because I had to keep fighting.

And yes, I lived, but even thinking about the situation brings tears to my eyes.

This is not to say that now I'm fully opposed to our army's actions. I remain strong in my convictions that they are a necessary evil. No war has been won without death, and no freedom has ever been conquered without war. It's a bitter truth, but one I've been forced to accept in order to survive.

I hope God forgives us all for the atrocities we've committed. I pray he will show us mercy when our time comes.

I'm extremely happy to know that you're doing well, and that your husband is still far away. Please, be careful, and do whatever you must do to keep yourself safe. Do not forget how much I love you, my flower.

- Francis.