Step One

1

"Kelly," said Keegs. "What did Guldbrandsen want, or should I even ask?"

I opened the driver's side door and sat. I pumped the brakes and the gas pedal and turned on the RMP. Filled with anticipation, Keegs climbed into the car and threw his cover onto the dashboard.

"He told me to keep you away from Bongiovanni. You're already on thin ice, Keegs, so just let me handle anything regarding that asshole."

I started the pre-vehicle inspection, checking the blinkers, horn, and the MDT (mobile data terminal). I switched on the overheads using the flashers, then the rotators and strobes. After giving the siren a chirp and wail, I reached for the mic, took it from the cradle, and called us into service.

Keegs sniffled from the cold air and rolled his fingers on the dashboard. His head bobbed to his created beat as he turned toward me, and his wide smile stretched from ear to ear, signaling the start of the conversation I knew was inevitable.

"So it's pink, bro," he said. "You pumped or what?" His tone was lofty, and his grin bared his teeth. "Well? Did you get a good look at her, and not as a boot? I mean, bro."

"Yeah, I saw her. I'm not dead."

"I bet you did. Everyone did. And now you get to ride with Officer McMenamin every day, all day." He handed me an empty Snapple bottle for my spittoon and ripped open a new package.

Keegs' insistence on having this conversation intensified the knot in my stomach, making me feel even more on edge. He knew I saw Maxine in the field that day, but he didn't realize she had stunned me.

I wasn't ready to talk about this, at least not yet. I needed to keep my shit wired tight and stay frosty before I said anything to anyone.

The last thing I needed was to engage in a competitive game of one-upmanship and destroy her good name. And I was determined not to be reduced to a mere number discarded on the deli counter. But Maxine didn't fit that mold.

We pulled out of the parking lot and headed across the street to the 7-11 to start our shift.

"Well, she's freaking hot." Keegs shook his head and whistled. "Damn fine." He pulled down on his Kevlar and smiled.

We pulled into the lot and felt the tires cross over the concrete apron.

"She's a McMenamin. Show some respect," I said. My patience wore thin, and my words became sharp and biting.

"Easy," he said. "We're just having a hypothetical." He laughed out loud and shook his head. "And yeah, her old man's a political party prick, so let's hope she doesn't take after him."

I caught Keegs' eye. His forehead creased, and his lips tightened. He had a look of disbelief and anger that made you seem crazy and stupid.

"And who gives a shit that you're her FTO? I can tell you're into her, and you, my friend, have the prime real estate. Your car and your rules."

"Okay," I snapped. Keegs found me out, like he always did, his keen intuition never failing to amaze me. However, it proved to be his most annoying trait. He was relentless, refusing to quit until I revealed my feelings.

"Getting in her pants is not my goal. You know I don't like one-night stands or friends with benefits. I want a relationship, a real one. Not making her into my sex puppet."

Keegs sat back and stretched out his arms. "Well," he said. "You might get your chance. During roll call, I saw her looking at you."

Leaning against the seat's backrest, I rolled my head towards him. I cast a skeptical gaze, squinting my eyes and raising my eyebrows in disbelief.

"That's because she found out I have her jacket."

"Bro, when Chaney said she was your boot, she couldn't take her eyes off you."

"And how do you know that?"

Keegs smiled and bared his teeth.

"Because I was watching her the whole time." He stretched out his arms again, this time pushing against the roof. "You're hopeless, Kelly. You are the most insecure, unconfident guy I've ever met."

He grabbed a wad of Redman, put it in his mouth, and rolled down the window. He offered the open package, but I refused.

I pulled into the stall and put the car in park. A Saint Gabriel's Rectory van was two spots away. Several nuns and a few priests meandered near the doorway. Some were smoking, others nursed coffee cups, but all seemed happy.

"Holy shit, man," sighed Keegs. "If these Jesus freaks think I'm going to make my confession or bow down and kiss the ring, I'll lick their fingers and groan.

"Bro, that's like sacrilege," I said and laughed.

"No, it's not. They're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds."

2

"Are you going inside?" I asked. But Keegs fidgeted and frowned at seeing the Pope's people refuse to leave.

His eyes darted around, his neck extending as he looked behind us before finally shifting his attention toward me. His demeanor shifted, the tension melting away from his face, and a smile resurfaced.

"Ha, not now," he said and pointed. "Look who just showed up."

Behind us, a sleek black Chevy Traverse rolled into the parking spot. The light bar was faint and hard to make out, but the driver was impossible to overlook.

"Guldbrandsen," I whispered. When I did, my heart jumped, and the tickle in my stomach became something else: panic. I spit the tobacco into the cup. Juice trickled down my chin as I expelled the remaining fragments.

I wiped away the evidence and took a swift gulp of water. After swishing it, I spat it out the window and onto the blacktop. As I tugged on the visor, a pack of gum landed in my hand. I put three pieces in my mouth and chewed hard and fast.

"Just freaking wonderful. I'll handle Guldbrandsen," said Keegs. "You focus on McMenamin." He paused for a second and snapped his fingers in frustration. "Kelly, for Christ's sake," he shouted. He was quick to cross himself, a sudden burst of religious fervor no doubt because of the presence of the Pope's own. "You're her FTO. Talk to her."

He pulled down on his Kevlar with both hands.

"Kelly, if you're gonna just stand there looking at her, I'm going to embarrass you when I come out."

"Sweet Jesus weeping on the cross, Keegs. Give me a break," I said.

"Just relax and be yourself. And no Marine Corps shit," he said. "Just be calm and be confident in who you are, even though you're not confident in who you are."

A wave of emotions overwhelmed me, torn between the desire to cry and the urge to panic and flee, the feeling very familiar to me.

In Afghanistan, my first firefight looming over me began as a confrontation with a few hostiles and escalated into a fierce battle with the Taliban. I felt that same anxiety and couldn't believe how my fear of talking to her seemed so irrational.

"Kelly," he said. "You need to cut this shit out. Bro, you killed terrorists for a living. So why would you be afraid of Maxine?"

While his words resonated with me, I couldn't help but feel that the reality was more complicated.

Catching the sight of Maxine leaving the truck and making her way towards the doors, I took a deep breath.

"Just be yourself," he said and then smiled. "Not your neurotic, burned-out Jarhead self. Be the guy that nobody likes but me. She'll love it."

With a click, I swung open the driver-side door, and the sound of my footsteps echoed off the wet pavement. My heart raced as I wondered what he would do next. I don't know what possessed me or where it came from, but I approached Maxine outside the doorway.

"Would you like anything inside?" I asked. She smiled at me, and I felt like I was in a trance. She put her hand out while she bit her lower lip.

"I'm Maxine," she said.

As I took a moment, my left hand sought refuge in my pocket, and I extended my right. I didn't want her to know that my heart was pounding. Instead, I felt a comforting warmth as our palms met. Our clasp was tender, evoking the sensation of holding hands.

"So, maybe later," I said, "we can grab a bite to eat at Ray's and talk a little about my expectations, your experience, and what each training phase looks like."

Maxine nodded and smiled back. "I'd like that." Her voice was soft and warm and made me tremble inside. And holding her hand made me nervous, eager, and lustful.

"Central to Corporal Kelly, ten-two, watch command, zero-three. Forthwith."

I reached for my shoulder mic, depressed the PTT, and sighed.

"Ten-Four."

I forgot myself and took the chewing tobacco from my utility pocket. I was waiting for Maxine to flinch or scowl at my disgusting habit, but she didn't.

"Sorry, Maxine," I said. "I've got to call the Lieutenant."

"I'm going to get some coffee," she replied. "Will I see you later?"

She showed me a radiant smile, her eyes filled with pure joy, and turned to enter the building, only to pause for a moment.

"And Corporal, you can call me Max."

I watched her head inside and took in a long and hard stare at her ass. I couldn't help myself.