Dance With Me

May 22 7:00 pm

Ocean Avenue Beach

The May sky turned orange as Maxine and I strolled toward the end of the pier to Overlook Point. The breeze was fresh, and the smell was briny and crisp. Behind us, the sun began its brilliant descent in color. To our right was the ungroomed beach strewn with shells and driftwood.

I heard the mewing seagulls and tonight's cover-band soundcheck from McSorley's.

"Kelly," said Max. "I can't believe it's been two months." She squeezed my hand and took hold of my bicep. Then, as she leaned against my shoulder, I moved the hair from her face.

"Neither can I," I said. "It feels like we've been together for years—not in a bad way. It's been surreal, at least for me."

She squinted and cocked her head. The puzzled look required an answer I would be more than willing to accommodate.

"Surreal?" she asked.

"I know. It's ah—yeah," I started. "It's just that you are kind of out of my league. Your old man is making sure everyone knows that." Her eyelids drew together with a clenched half smile.

"That's not true," she said with urgency and a soft tone. "You need to put that out of your mind."

"Maybe you're right, I don't know. But I love you and want to be with you always."

"I feel the same way, sweetie." With a beautiful smile, she craned her neck and tapped the tip of my nose. "Sooo, what's the big surprise?"

"Well, I—ah. Soon," I stammered. "Promise."

The promised surprise. Right. The plan, according to Keegs and myself.

Max and I would start the night here at Overlook Point. Given her love for the beach, it was a simple choice. Maxine loved the sounds and smells it offered, its beauty, the sun's colors, and the breeze against her face and neck.

For tonight, Keegs suggested I make it about her and our relationship. The conversation we would have does not differ from that of many lovers before us. Among other things, we would hold hands, kiss, and, of course, dance. We would dine at a private table at McSorley's by night's end.

However, what worried me and wasn't part of the plan was the in-between. That's where second thoughts plagued me because my surprise was a handwritten letter. I struggled with how to craft it so Max would think of me as a wordsmith or romantic.

Contained within my writing were a heart's true confession and complete vulnerability. That's what could make this disastrous. I wanted to spend eternity with her. The thought of her considering me a fool would devastate me.

I sighed when I thought of the time between now and her becoming an immersive reader. My heart throbbed, and I felt the words sticking in my throat.

"Are—are you nervous?" she asked and smiled. "Oh, my God, Kelly, you're ridiculous."

No sooner did her words mock me in jest than did the wind shift, carrying the cover band's soundcheck from McSorley's. Max swung around and swayed to the music.

"Wow," she said. "They're really good."

"That's my buddy J-Soul. He was a finalist on one of those TV singing shows. Now he's the frontman for Stage Evolution."

As the chords changed and Joe sang, she reached out to me.

"Dance with me," she said and took my hands. "I love this song."

As the band played and sang about fantasy, starry eyes, and dancing with your partner, I twirled her away and back into my arms. I locked into her groove, and with a gentle release, she sauntered backward. Her hands stretched overhead. She snapped her fingers to the rhythm. This was a most welcomed interruption, giving me time to consider my next move.

"Are you willing?" she sang.

"I'm most willing, my lover," I whispered, mirroring her movement. However, the time between now and her becoming an immersive reader wouldn't leave me be. As she danced around me, the wringing of my hands returned. "Okay—Okay. I'm good," I stammered. "Come here."

As I caught my breath, trying to slow my heartbeat, Max danced over, turned, and put her back against my chest. Then, wrapping my arms around her, she shared her cheek.

When I heard Jay G's voice lifting us off the ground and embracing us with each other's love, she whispered the lyrics. Her gentle softness enveloped me like a whispering breeze. Its delicate presence commanded attention, its tone and control palpable. At that moment, it stole my breath, leaving me in awe. And I didn't want her to stop.

But, as quickly as the nerves faded, they were back. I needed to get this done.

While still in her embrace, I reached into my back pocket and rubbed the envelope between my thumb and palm, stalling.

"I—ah." Breathe, you idiot. She loves you, so calm down.

"I know you studied Law and Literature at U-Mass Lowell, so I tried to—I wrote this for you," I said. "Surprise." Her, what did you do for me? look settled my nerves and gave me courage.

"I titled it 'My thoughts and an exposition on our courtship.'"

She grinned and rolled her eyes at my exaggeration. "Ooh. Exposition?" she asked.

"Yeah, I don't know, just, a—It is what it is."

The envelope, wax-sealed and imprinted with my family's signature, was a wrinkled mess. When I tapped it against my palm, I saw her name scribbled in pencil, smeared, and blurred.

"Are you?" she asked, biting her lower lip, "um, going to give it to me, or are you teasing?"

I drifted off into thoughts of rejection, but she sensed it and took control of my attention.

"Kelly, hey," she said, soothing my nerves. "Are you okay?"

My exasperation for words caught something in her eye. We stopped dancing as I held onto it with both hands in the presentation. She smiled, then took the wrinkled wax-sealed letter from my fingers. Holding it to her nose, she sniffed.

"It smells like your cologne," she said. "I love it already." Max adjusted it in her palm. "Aww, you handwrote it."

Finally, she turned it over, caressed the seal, and grinned. As she pushed her thumb against the wax, it cracked and gave way, revealing a glimpse of what lay beneath.

Beads of sweat formed on my forehead, and each breath I took felt shallow and strained, as if the air was thick with anticipation. To my surprise, she read the letter out loud.

"Maxine,

I want to assure you that I am yours now more than ever. My deepest desire is to press you close to my heart, feel your breath, and touch your lips until I am enchanted. You are my love and spiritual companion, the pillar of my confidence, and the constant reminder of my goodness."

"I, ah—"

She put her finger on my lips to quiet me. She continued reading aloud.

"I have concluded that I may not be the man you wanted. By that, I mean I may not measure up to what you deserve. I do not take this burden lightly and desire to become the man with attributes you would be proud to call husband."

As tears filled her eyes, the craziness of this life made sense. Love was more than a feeling. That had to be! It had to be a choice, a deep commitment, and a desire to complete another.

She was quick to wipe a tear before continuing.

"Much is made of broken roads and how they lead wounded spirits to others. Whether through deserts, the wilderness, or oceans—roadways, paths, and bridges always guide lights to one another. And I believe we have found each other's lights. And so, we have been bound by providence and His guiding will."

Her eyes twinkled, and they spoke to me. And I listened. She would not walk away from me.

Her smile returned, her gaze shifting towards the letter, filled with happiness and curiosity.

My beautiful Maxine.

She looked up at me as a tear fell from her cheek and onto the letter. As I inched closer, I gripped the back of her arms.

My pledge of love, devotion, and constant affection belongs to you. I hope we can ignite a flame quenchable only by death. And even then, it will continue until our days are complete. I will always desire to love you. I'll mourn the time away from you. You, my lover and best friend, are my completion.

I love you,

Your someday husband,

Kelly

She was gentle in folding the letter, put it into the envelope, and held it to her lips. Then, with her eyes closed and her face tightened, she trembled. Refusing to turn away, her eyes spilled with a slight smile.

"William," she said. "If I ever crossed my heart or wished on a star, it has come true." Cupping my cheeks with her palms, our foreheads touched. "You've beguiled me, William Kelly. And I will love you for the rest of my life."

With our noses touching, I closed my eyes, heightening my awareness of our connection. She kissed me and drew back slightly. I could feel her breath as she whispered. "My lover and best friend. I choose to give you my heart."