I dont know...
Why do I feel the way I do? Why do I keep hurting even with nothing going bad? You'd expect, if you see someone down, they're facing a dilemma. What will you say about me? That Im over reacting? That I like drama? 
Yes. You'll tell me that. Because that's what you believe. Dont you? I'd know the best....
Are you a human or a season? You come when you want to... You leave when you want...
No.... Seasons are predictable. You're not. 
I dont know... Why do I hope? Why do I hope you;d change? You haven't changed in all the past years of my life. Why would you change now? Because Im stupid enough to hope? Stupid enough to believe you'd see? No. You wont. Because you'll never change, you'll never see.... Because you are a shadow. You will be there with me every minute, every place.... Shadows remind you how lonely you are. Like you.

I dont know...
Why am I waiting? Crying out your memories, why? Bleeding on unsuspecting pages. They will never hurt me, you know... They have no heart. They have no soul... But you see, they listen. Like you dont. Like you never will. After all, for you, Im just a word in the sea of encyclopedias, am I not?
Yeah. I am. Because I'll never be brave enough to say it all to your face....
Because you're not a harmless page, you're a never ending horror book....
I hate you. I hate you so much, I want to kill you. Am I crazy for wanting that? I want to die. Am I crazy for that, at least? What is crazy for you anyway? 
No... You wont answer that. Do you know why? Because you are a coward. You will never face it. You will never face me. Never face the hurt you caused me; the scars you inflicted on me; the nights you filled with tears..... I hate you so, so much. That now, I wish pages had emotions. Just so someone could feel my hatred for you. My fear near you. My nervousness around you. My love.... Never. Not even in my best nightmares. Not in my worst day dreams. 

 I hate you, I hate you.... And I hate myself. Because even as I say this, I miss you... I just cant help it. How do you not see what you've done to me? How do you not realise what you've moulded me into? A wicked piece of poetry no one will ever be able to understand. Why do you do that to me? What have I ever done to you? Why dont you ever hold me? Like you used to.... I miss you so much, some place in my heart aches. I hate you so much, my eyes cant bear the pressure of holding it back. Not the love, the hatred. 

So many questions... So many voices in my head, how do I hold them back? How do I hold my tears back? Sure you taught me how to get back up. Sure you taught me how to fight back.... But what do I do once its all over? What do I feel? How do I get those emotions back? How do I get my trust back? My memories? My nightmares? My innocence? My childhood? My past?... My present? Even my present isnt mine. Why do you creep in my thoughts? I consider your memories dead.... Then why, WHY do you still live in my mind?  I fucking hate you for what you made me... For what I feel, for what I cant escape.... I dont even know how to hate you... I just feel a million burns in my chest... somewhere deep there. I dont dare see exactly where. You were my mirror right?  Now my mirrors are all broken. You broke them! How do I find you? There are a million of 'you' staring back at me. Which one are you? Which on... am I? 

Kill me please, I dont want to leave this way. i wasnt to die! Why do you keep me alive? KILL ME dont let me live