An update after a long while I know,  but I couldn't sleep, so started writing. Hope you like it. And I changed a name or two here. Do vote and comment if you like it. 

Jan 5

Seoul

Jeong-hyeok

I have a piercing headache since the past three days and a slight fever. The doctor doesn't know what's wrong with me. But I do. It's you. I'm lovesick.

What sort of crazy illness is this? You know one of my ex-boyfriends- when I broke up with him, he told me he was tired of waiting for me. He was so offended, so heartbroken that I never committed to him wholly. His last words to me turned out to be prophetic. He said, "Yoon Se-ri, I hope you meet someone who makes you wait forever."

I smirked at him, thinking it was impossible. I was so sure I'd never make a fool of myself by pining for a man. And where are we now? Yep, you can crown me the Queen of all love-struck fools. Do you know the first time I waited for you was when that Dan-ah showed up at your doorstep and you had to go drop her and her flashy car back to Pyongyang. What did you say? "I'll be right back."

I couldn't tell you this then, but I was upset that you were leaving me alone. As if you chose her over me. Nah, don't get me wrong. I don't blame you. You did the right thing. But that was the first night I realized how much I'd gotten used to your presence. I was waiting eagerly for you to come back. I didn't even sleep all night- my mind kept conjuring up weird scenarios of you hanging out with her, fondling her, kissing her, walking in the night breeze hand-in-hand (though now I'm not sure if couples can actually do all that in public in North Korea), but well, you get the point. And none of this would have been wrong on your part. She was your fiancée! You two are consenting adults, about to be married. You had your freedom. I shouldn't even be in the picture, yet when you turned up at 7.30 in the morning, I couldn't help display my displeasure to you. Didn't you realize that time how much I missed you Jeong-hyeok? Did you miss me too? But like a fool, you upped me again. While I was berating you for being late, you were just arranging for my safe return (albeit at the expense of your own safety).

Jeong-hyeok-shi, it's all your fault! How can you be so selfless, so kind, so loving? How could I not fall for you? Why are men like you born in Bukan? I would gladly exchange a handful of the ones here that I've had the 'pleasure' of meeting, with you.

Now look at me waiting for you. I should advise Cheong-beom to become a fortune teller. He'd earn better than what he does with his music anyways. Speaking of music, I'm listening to Für Elise right now. The piano seems to calm down my throbbing head. I close my eyes and try to picture you playing it, your fingers deftly moving over the keys strumming magic for the ears. You're better than Beethoven. If he was alive, I'd have told him that. Yeah I agree I'm a bit biased, maybe more than a bit, but it is only your music that can make me want to breathe in life again.

Awaiting for that breath of fresh air again,

Se-ri