It Takes Some Time

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By Anonymous

~

Hey there world. Here's the story of how I discovered myself about five times.

The first I'd heard of the LGBTQ community was a few years ago, and, after a while of being slightly confused, I was an ally.

A bit after figuring out these people did, in fact, exist, I thought I was bisexual. I told myself "I could date a boy or a girl, so I'm bi".

Later on, I discovered nonbinary genders. Again, I was confused, but I don't think that's part of the story. Then I thought, "Well, what's keeping me from loving somebody like this?" And thus, I identified as pansexual. I told lots of my friends this, and this was my label for a good while.

It was around this time when I started questioning my own gender identity. I still felt generally female, but also mostly like neither of the binary genders. I would also have days where I'd feel more masculine than anything.

I eventually found the term demigirl, and decided, this was me. It seemed to fit me, feeling partly female and partly something else.

The rest of my story is all pretty recent. One day, I was thinking that I never wanted to have sex. It sounded gross, and I just wasn't into that. I'd heard of asexual, and that was the new identity that I had. Asexual panromantic

Then, even more recently, I realized that my plan for my life had never included getting married to anybody. And I was fine with this, thinking romantic relationships were tedious and stressful, despite never being in one. And so I became an asexual aromantic

And, just a week or so ago, I feel like I finally pinned down my gender. I usually feel like neither boy nor girl nor nothing else, really. I did some snooping around the Interwebs, and lo and behold, I found the term "neutrois", basically gender-neutral. Being smack dab in the middle of male and female. And I felt, this could be me. So I said it out loud: "I am gender neutral". And it honestly seemed to fit.

The rest of the day, I spent in some sort of a high, having figured out myself, at least for now.

The moral of this story is, sometimes you change labels. Sometimes you change labels multiple times. And that's ok. It takes some time.

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