By SpazzyKat56

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I'm gonna start by saying I grew up in a very, VERY Catholic household. (Jesus give us power to do this and that pretty much every hour of the day.) I had what religious people would call a "close relationship" with God. I was in fifth/sixth grade when I had come to terms with the fact that I do, in fact, like girls. Everything about them. It started when I realized that it wasn't just curiosity that led me to kiss my best friend, but an actual crush. So when I learned what gay was (and everything else) I started identifying as bisexual.

Now, I feel like it is important to note that I am adopted, so I already felt second best in my household as a daughter (jokes on you, past me, you're non-binary) and pretty much everywhere else. The only person I had come out to was my step father, who I like to think of as my Guardian Angel, regardless of how religious I am. So when I heard from my mother that "all gays were damned to hell in the eyes of God" over the family dinner, I was utterly devastated. I wanted to die. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in. I wouldn't come out for hours.

Finally when I had calmed down, I retreated to my bed in the room I shared with my older sister. My step dad came in and had a lengthy conversation with me. He told me that what my mom said was complete bullshit (and he is the perfect example of a white, straight, middle-aged male). Made me feel better. Safer. And he told me that not everyone is going to accept the way I am, and that's okay. Because the people who care are the ones that matter.

If you all don't mind, I have a second to share.

Recently I have been struggling a whole lot with who I am, what with college looming over my head. And a big part of that lately has been my gender. For some reason, I kept thinking that I had to fit a specific norm. I had to be a guy or a chick. I tried guys. Didn't like it. I tried dresses. Didn't like em. I tricked myself into thinking I was male. Because I felt weak. Inferior. Wasn't who I was.

Eventually I said "F*** IT". Like, dude. If I wanna feel feminine and embrace it, then you bet your butt I'm gonna embrace it! If I wanna get my testosterone up and running and wear baggy shorts and big shirts, then hell yeah, I'm gonna do that! I figured out that I don't have to classify as anything. I worried too much about what I should call myself rather than just being myself, man. So leaving it here I'm gonna give any of you currently reading this a piece of advice:

If you're questioning, question. You have plenty of time to figure that out. Don't stress out about it! There are plenty of things to stress about already. Don't let who you are be one of them.