I cannot handle the heat, I'm one hundred percent an ice queen

I'd love to be able to create snow, to make ice crystals, to have the cold never bother me.

But I shunned myself for being too emotional and started trying to be stronger, and it worked, and it's so much worse.

Not caring that much anymore means I'm slowly turning into a shell of who I used to be, a girl with a frozen heart, the one thing I was supposed to be running from but foolishly ran towards.

Between fire and ice, I'd want the ice powers, it makes sense, it fits me.

But becoming that shell of myself, whoever that person may be, is starting to scare me.

With fire powers, I'd be a fiery force, dangerous, passionate, uncontrollable, deadly,

Somehow, right now, it's seems safer for me to throw myself into my emotions—anger, fear, sadness, joy—and live fiercely,

rebelliously,

so unlike me, than choose the ice powers and becoming colder, stronger, less feeling

Will I be able to turn back and run towards the path from which I came?

Will I be able to rewrite my destiny?

Will I be able to find out what I need and who I need to be?

Oh, this life is so messy

In becoming the best version of myself, will I succeed?

Or will I lose sight of my true purpose and doom myself to be a monster for all of eternity?