Today is one of the bad days that I've experienced. The sun was giving her best to shine brighter than ever. As the cold breathe of the trees that was watching me at the corridor of our building ruffles my messy hair. The smell of freshly bathed grass and plants in the ground floor that I can smell. Everyone was relaxing since it was our vacant time after a long test at math. Fortunately, I have a good score there.

          "This is the best time to play some music!" The clouds mouthed me as I daydream.

          I played my nightcore playlist and sing along. I tried to record my pretty ugly voice and hear how bad I was. Take note, I am a choir member, okay? A tap I felt in my shoulder. A warm yet  cold hug was gifted to me as he complimented my singing. He dust the floor and put his handkerchief and let me sat at it. He sat at the cold floor of  corridor and placed his guitar on my lap and started teaching me how to play it.

          "Do you know this song?" Then he played his guitar. I guessed the song and sang it together. He was Mozart while playing his guitar to me. My oh my! I could gladly hear him sing and play for eternally!

          "Cool! Guess this song too." He played another piece. Familiar yet unfamiliar. Like I heard it before but I never encountered such song. He sang it with emotions like everything the lyrics say was all about me.

          " 'Cause I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
'Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes, she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again..." Then left a sweet kiss in my forehead saying he love me and wait for me even the stars won't shine in the night because I am not ready for such relationship.

            He sang all of his heart. All the songs he sang, this touched my heart and causes it to fall hard in the ground. But little did I know he never gave his heart. And there I was, picking my broken pieces of my shattered heart in the ground. He didn't wait for me because he found someone who is willing to say yes immediately as he was holding my hand. He tried to cut the rope and he was successful. This is a bittersweet memory that was carve in this song. And everytime I hear this song, the sweetness and aches that he gave was all coming back like a automated arrows that will pierce my heart.

      "Watch out!" Yelled by someone familiar and saw him. Him looking concerned and scared. Bright light was coming to me close. I should see it clearly but it end up blinding me.  Blinding light in the darkest night of my life. I can't see anything but darkness. I can hear mumbles and screams. Physical pain is bearable but the aches inside me is killing me. I am willing to die just to see you in my next life. I'm willing to love you again in my next life. It hurt so bad that all I want to do is love you more.

"Wake up!" Someone shouted. I groaned and rub my eyes. I saw light. Warm and lovely light that the sun emits. Another dream or is it? It felt too real. Another sleep paralysis? Or a disregarded memory? I stand up and fixed my bed.

Do I believe in past life? I do believe on it. That girl in my dreams always says about it so why not believe. People gifted with unnatural powers of the wonders of the world told me that the girl I see is me in my past life. Even that now I am a boy. A hopeless romantic akward boy.

I already have a girl I am seeing. She's so pretty. She's my classmate. Our muse. Our star student. Very far from my status. A akward and clumsy boy. I feel in love at first sight. Little touches causes sparks-- I hope she felt that too. I think she is my soulmate, even we doesn't talk or interact that much. I observed that we have a lot of common. Mostly music. I like to rediscover old musics-- so does she! I am just seeing her as a candidate of my soulmate at first but witnessing guys making a move at her making me feel uneasy. Uneasy with blazing fury inside me. Why should I feel that way when we didn't even have a relationship yet? I didn't even ask her to be friends or date yet! But why do I feel burning sensation of fury inside me when she is with someone else?

"We know that you have feeling with our muse, why not go make a move?" One of the intriguing question of my friend. And this I decided I should already make a move and make her mine.

We easily get along. I already told you that we have wide range of commonalities than differences. Getting along with each other is such an easy breeze. I tried to pamper her with things she wants. Shower her with compliments. Bringing out my gentleness.  Until I slowly officially court her.

"A flower offering for the most gorgeous flower I know." I said and gave her a Dahlia bouquet. It's just as pretty as she is.  She know that I love her but she is still undecided. She said she is not ready for such relationship. This scenario feel so familiar. So familiar that I will know what will happen next.

She stand there singing songs while admiring the surrounding she always see in everyday basis. I hug her from behind and compliment her singing. I dust the floor and put my clean handkerchief and let her seat on it. I put my guitar at her lap and teach her how to play. We sung and bond as I felt a cold wind passing by and a pictures struck my eye. Just like what the boy did to the girl in my dreams.

" 'Cause I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
'Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes, she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again..." I sang a unknown song. Unknown for everyone but a lovely song for me that I am willing to dedicate to her. I left a sweet kiss in her forehead saying I love her and wait for her.

Then later on I saw her with another man. She introduced the man to me. I grabbed her hand wanting to talk with her privately. I asked her how, when and why. She gave me nothing but an hurtful goodbye.

"Let's just be friends." Then left me in sadness. But I can't give up now. I'm just starting. I kept courting her even she doesn't want it anymore. I just gather all the courage that I need to express and court you but why now? She said she doesn't wanna entertain me anymore and just want to stay friends. I respect her decision. Then I'll wait for you just like what I said when I kissed your precious forehead. The closest touch I did.

I did wait and observe your relationship with that guy. But why did you cry? Never in my life ever thought of making you cry. But why did that insolent fool make my precious girl cry? It never suits her. Softest among the soft, happiness and warmth is what suits you the best but why did the man you picked stain you with hues of blue?!

"Dahlia!" The very first time I yelled your name. I always tell your name with gentleness and love. Why yell?

"Felix!" She cried and run toward me. She looked like she been pulled back into reality.I tried to stop her but all was in vain. I run toward her and tried to push her away but she hugged me tighter than I ever hugged her for years have passed. And again visions passed by my eye.

"Dahlia! Please get off me!" I cried at her begging for her to let me go. I can still save her! Save us both!

"No... I am wrong! I'm sorry!" And hugged me tighter.

"Let's talk later! I'm begging you..." I wailed.

"I did love you-- No. I love you. I am just afraid to tell you. I'm afraid our friendship will tore apart but when you confessed I felt relieved. I didn't know what gotten into me but please don't let me go." She said as hiccups from her cries escape between words she says.

"I'm not letting you go. I'm doing this to protect you- us!" But she just cried. What happened to you when I'm gone? My precious flower …

" You know I love you right?" I calmed myself and accepted the fact that I can't fix this anymore. She nodded. I caress her face full of gentle andcare and wipe all those tears that escaped her beautiful eyes.

"I thought this is the time but I guess its not. I'll wait for you again,my dear. I hope you'll wait for me too." I said and kisses her forehead. Instead of pushing her, I gave her my hug that she surely miss. I did hug her everyday to miss me back then. Another blinding bright light comes toward me-- not just me, us.

This day should be bright, warm, and full of lovely colors. Yet to world– fate gave us nothing but hues of blues and blinding bright light in the darkness. I'll wait for you again my precious flower. In our next life, I'll meet you again and hoping we will be together there. Sharing love. Together with ups and downs until our hair will be filled with grays and white. Hoping and longing for you to be mine in our next life, my dear.

" I love you." And everything went pitch black.