December 13th, 2020

You know, Umbrella Academy Fics should be perfect for me. Weird superpowers? Flaws characters? Sci-Fi elements? Family dynamics? I love that! Heck, I even liked how they did time travel, and I never like how shows do time travel! (I mean, other than shows like Doctor Who that are all about time travel.)

Except it's not. In fact, aside from fandoms that just don't have a lot of fanfictions, they're the fanfictions I read the least. Why?

Lack of Nuance/Originality

Umbrella Academy fics just...have no nuance. There's no agreeing with different people, or having different opinions. By which I mean they always support the other siblings and always disagree with Luther and Reginald. Would it make more sense for them to agree with Luther in this situation? Or more in character to not make fun of him, or to make fun of the all equally?

Like, choose a fanfiction. Do it. Right now. I will bet you anything I will, right now, describe that character (if they're a sibling):

— Either Eight or Zero (I don't have an actual problem with this, by the way. It'd be hypocritical if I did. But also I really respect people who are willing to figure out how to shift around the numbers.)

— Despises Luther. Sometimes it's a mutual hatred, sometime the story make Luther literally Satan, and sometimes the fic tries to make Luther Satan but really all his does is be vaguely annoyed at OC's "clever" comments while the OC is painfully hostile.

— Also they for some reason think it's OK to make fun of and belittle his trauma (including mocking his body dysphoria), but also will bite the head off anyone who does the same to others.

— *Insert required required line about how the others considered themselves family, but the OC didn't so it's not incest TM*

— But also still calls them their brothers and sisters??

— Already hates Reginald. No left over guilt or trauma. At least outside of Designated Love Interest Angst Time. No "well, he was our father". No misplaced loyalty. No being conflicted because yes he's an asshole, yes he was abusive, but still he was their father and they really did want his love.

— The only one who was nice to Vanya. Totally forgive her for twisting their very traumatic childhood into a "woah is me" story all about her and profiting of it. (OK, maybe I'm a shitty person, but how could someone forgive that? And with out at least some time coming to understand Vanya's point of view? Bullshit.)

— So basically they're boring.

— But no, guess what, they're snarky!

— Probably start out with Five. Then they either follow Five or go back to the house for the house fight. Sometimes they go with Diego and Klaus, other times they stick with Five. They never end up with Allison when her throat's slit. Which on one hand makes sense, it ruins the flow, but also I'm disappointed?

— Oh, and their power is probably some sort of elemental control, telekinesis, or a rip off of something else. I don't just mean in the show, Scarlet Witch rip offs are very popular.

And I know I've done some of the things, and that these on there own aren't bad, but I really shouldn't be able to guess 50% of fics. Every OC shouldn't have the exact same opinions. People shouldn't respond Luther being slightly nice or OC not liking fan favs with

Honestly, I feel like it's effected my confidence in my writing. I'm not trying to be arrogant and brag how ✨ Original ✨ my stories are. I'm just saying sometimes I look at how formulaic the stories are and my brain goes, well, there has to be a reason. Right? People write what they want. So, if I write something different, what if people don't like it?

The thing is, all of my choices are in character. It makes sense Ciana would defend their father at her funeral. She always wanted her father's love and approval. And even if she didn't, look at how she responses to other things. Ciana's upset when they put tentacles on Ben's coffin because she knew he didn't like his powers, or when Luther went through Grace's things (interfering with her privacy) or accused her of murder after she raised them. She's someone who values respect and loyalty, and insulting someone at their funeral while others are trying to mourn and turning it into a fight really doesn't agree with that.

But according to most fics, the OC should be dancing on his grave and snorting his ashes or something.

Listen, I know I'm always saying to write what you want, and people who like it will find it. But the truth is I write to make people happy. I want to make something people enjoy. Seeing that my writing, which I love dearly, makes others happy as well, gives me joy. So sometimes I can be a little sensitive if I worry people don't like my writing.

Also, to stop talking about myself, it just makes people less likely to read your book. Why read your book when they can read a hundred other with basically the same character, which in fanfiction, when people are usually only changing one character, mean it's basically the same book?

Incest & Forced Romance

As someone who isn't super into romance, I've always been painfully aware that fanfictions often require it. Heck, they're often made solely to write a romance. I've just accepted it.

But the forced nature is really obvious when it comes to Umbrella Academy. This is because, while it does include romance, Umbrella Academy is, at it's center, a story about family. It's hard to include a character that isn't a Hargreeves, and people want their OC to be a Hargreeves. But that means incest.

So what do they do? Make their own love interest, who isn't a sibling?  Make the story about familial love instead of romance it? Platonic fics,if you want to focus on just one character?

FUCK THAT, IF OC ISN'T MAKING OUT WIH SOMEONE, HOW ELSE WILL WE KNOW THEY'RE VALID??? LET'S GO INCEST!

(PS: for legal reasons I will be mentioning this is a joke. You don't need love to be valid and do not do incest. It's bad for your mental health.)

And you know what's even worse? Sometimes the romance just COMPLETELY OVERWHELMS EVERYTHING. OC's personality, plot, and interactions are all centered around who they're making out with. Not, you know, what would be in character for them.

In short: I hate forced romance. Umbrella Academy fics are not only the most forced romances in existence, but sometimes completely ruin the family themes I came for.

Demonizing

STOP! DEMONIZING! LUTHER!

He is NOT homophobic. He is NOT racist. He is NOT sexist. He is NOT whatever shitty ideal you shove onto him because you want some conflict with your OC, but your lazy ass didn't feel like making more than one character (because GOD FORBID you make, like, ONE EXTRA NAME) and you couldn't be bother to make someone else to do that, so instead you just crammed your least favorite character in like a triangle peg into a circle hole. Not that it helps that the rest of the fandom is just like RIP APE BOY and dAd SeNt me tO tHe MoOoOnNNNN because they're insensitive asses who can't look beyond their bias noses.

I'm sorry. That was really salty. But also I'm not deleting it because this is a spam books and I really need ONE place to freely express myself. Also it's something I feel like people need to hear. You can't just force a character you don't like to fill every single conflict with your OC when it's not actually in character for them to do so. (Especially when people turn other characters into innocent babies coughBillyButtheadcough coughYouChoseWhichBillyIMeanThey'reProbablyShitToocough.)

Ignoring Flaws

The opposite above, people really like to ignore the flaws of "fan favs". Like the OC is always totally fine with Vanya's books, or her victim complex (before Vanya fans bite my head off, I say this with love. I really like Vanya's character...I'm just aware thar she has massive victim complex.) They're never upset with Diego insulting all of their siblings, they never mention Klaus's selfishness (again, also said with love. I find it interesting how Klaus is both one of the most empathetic and also one of the most selfish siblings.) They always 100% OK with Five being a literal murderer who has the communication abilities of a rock.

This gets especially uncomfortable with Klaus's drug abuse. By which I mean the OC never tries to help him? If anything it always feels like they're condoning and supporting it.

And this is where there's the biggest divide. Fandom says "love" is never questioning the love interest and basically being a perfect clone who never questions them. Real life says that if someone is doing something that hurts them, especially something that hurts them as much as drugs, loving them means making the tough choice to force them to get better. To challenge the people you care about to be the best version of themselves.

Five Fics

Five fics are the most popular. They also make me the most uncomfortable. Why Because a lot of people make their OC actually 13 years old. Which is a BIG no.

Do you under stand that you're shipping a 13 year old with a 58 year old? Do you understand that you're making Five a pedophile?

And I know, I know, he looks 13. But appearance isn't what makes pedophilia bad. What makes pedophilia bad is that adults are in a more developed mentality and stable situation than children. They have more life experience and more understanding. Children naturally look up to adults and trust them. All of which is, weather the adult means to or not, taken advantage of when they enter the relationship. Which is why kids can't consent to that sort of stuff — they don't understand what they're consenting to. And even if they did, they'd be influenced by the adult too much for it to be fair.

Also, I'm always weirded out when people "age them up" to physically 15. They say it's "not for sexual things" and "just because they aren't comfortable writing romance with 13 years olds." But like...then don't write romance with a 13 year old? There's a bunch of other characters, who are 29-30 years old. And what is it about romance that you consider "to old" for 13 year olds? Was it the hand holding? The stupid nicknames? You do know there's more to romance than kissing and sex and groping, right? That it's about, you know, actual feelings?

I'm sure I could think more, or be nicer, but my wrist is in pain for some reason. It's been hurting for awhile, but like, extra pain, so I'm probably going to take a break from writing for awhile. At least not for a long reason.

Anyways, enjoy this last Tumblr post. It's not exactly my ship, but a cute idea anyways.

The moon says gay rights I guess.