A/N: Sorry it's been a few days! I've been getting a lot of messages and comments from readers asking me to continue Astray, so I've been focusing on that. Astray is the sequel to Adrift, so if you haven't read Adrift yet, I highly recommend you do! It'll be three years old in December 😭😭😭

P.S. Do you guys like the new cover?

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓑𝓻𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓷˚｡➶˚┊

Flerry felt like a nightmare.

One month after Jimin got taken, Y/n returned to Flerry. She stood there, in the center of the town. It felt wrong to live in their new home without him. It felt wrong to keep fighting when he wasn't by her side. A whole month had passed, yet it felt like a day. She had a childish hope that she'd wake up and he'd be there, holding her in his arms.

The thought extended beyond just herself. She worried for him, too. Jimin left that life. He was healing. Although he had years upon years of trauma to unpack, he was already getting better. There were less nightmares. He slept well. It seemed like he enjoyed life. But with the Emperor taking him back, even for a minute, that progress stopped. Y/n feared it reverted the progress completely.

It was foolish to come back to Flerry. She knew that. Jimin sacrificed himself so she could escape the Emperor, now there she was, standing outside of Kastor's house.

Isolation crept through Flerry's streets. The only sound was the soft breeze rustling the trees nearby. There were no Mimos, no glowing Mismas to light her path. All she had was the stale gray color of the walls of the houses surrounding her.

She entered Kastor's home, her feet causing the floorboards to creak. The carpets were half installed. There were patches of wool and patches of pure wood. Y/n went to the wool and saw the hallway leading to their room. Her toes ached as they brought her closer to the door. Her hand hovered above it and begged her to enter. She had to close her eyes as she did.

Just as expected, it was empty. There were no signs of life. No eye smiles. No squeaky laughs. No warm, honey smell. What replaced it was dim lighting and the smell of pure air. There were no colors. Everything felt so dull.

She sat on the bed and waited. She didn't know what she was waiting for. Perhaps an angel would come to her and guide her down the right path. Y/n didn't believe in angels. Like the Exodus Caves, angels were a tale to keep her morally aligned with the rest of New Theon. Not that it mattered. There was no such thing as morality, only people playing pretend.

Five minutes passed. It was silent. No Mimos. Not even a breeze. All that remained was Y/n, sitting on their old bed and remembering all the times they curled up together and whispered sweet nothings. She remembered Jin cooking for them and Jimin helping out. He had never admitted it, but he adored Jin more than the others. More than Jungkook and Tae. Jimin stayed with Jin whenever he wasn't with Y/n or Kastor. They took walks, cooked, made stupid jokes. Jin was where Jimin learned his sense of humor. Maybe that was why Y/n hadn't been able to look Jin in the eyes since it happened.

Her gaze fell on the floorboards in the corner. It was the only part of the room that didn't have carpets. She got up and went over, kneeling so she could peel back the wood. There were stacks of paper there. There had to be five month's worth of papers, waiting to be discovered. She wondered where he put them, but she didn't expect him to leave them in Flerry.

Y/n took them and sat back on the bed, staring at the words. He had beautiful handwriting. The letters were a mix of print and cursive, each line spiraling out on the page and pulling her in. There were several mentions of her name on the first page. It was an introduction. Jimin introduced himself and his current life situation. There weren't as many jokes as she was expecting.

"Is this a diary? Should I start with 'dear diary'? Okay, fine, let's do it.

Dear diary,

My name is Park Jimin, the Emperor's Bitch, Kastor's Least Favorite Dwarf (don't tell Jin or Y/n about that one), or Commander Park. Call me whatever you want. The therapists at Topside told me to start a diary. They told me to write my feelings and everything I go through in a day. Unfortunately, those therapists forgot to think of the most important thing: I don't know what I go through in a day. They tell me to write my feelings as if I can even decipher what they mean.

Maybe I should start slow. Let's try that again. My name is Park Jimin. I went by Park for a long time because I hated my name. I still do, but it doesn't hurt like it used to. Sometimes my friends call me Park by accident, especially Jungkook. I don't consider him my friend, though.

My friends are Jin, Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Kastor. My girlfriend is Y/n. Not to brag, but she's hot. I got a hot girlfriend. Don't tell her I said this, but I like her ass. Like, a lot. Oh, and those thighs. And her pus-"

Y/n swapped pages before she could read any further. She laughed, but it felt painful. Like it was squeezing her lungs. She used her clammy hands to flip through the papers, scanning over the words and drinking in every detail. Most of the stories were similar. He went over his feelings for the day. None of them were ever overly depressing. At least, not in the beginning. About one week into the papers, Y/n noticed one that had more words than the others.

"Dear diary,

I talked to Kastor today. He told me about his son. He told me about the pain he felt. I don't know how it happened, but I started crying. Somehow, Kastor ended up being the one comforting me when he was the one talking about the deepest pain he had. What's wrong with me? Why did I cry? I used to cry alone or not at all, but now, I do it all the time. It's part of my daily routine.

Kastor deserves better. He had a wonderful son. He keeps calling me 'kid' and 'son', but I wish he wouldn't. I could never be as good as his son. I could never fill that void in his heart. But as much as I wish he'd stop, I also don't want him to. Is that selfish? Is it weird that I feel both those things at the same time? Why can't I get Kastor off my mind? He's just a grumpy old man who has severe allergic reactions to anything fun. Why do I want his approval whenever I do something? Why do I want him to call me 'kid' more often?

I don't know what I'm saying. Am I supposed to? Is this getting too deep? I could make a joke about that, but I don't have the energy to. Maybe I should go to bed early today. Y/n's looking at me funny. She just asked me why I was frowning. I told her I was deep in thought and it was my thinking face. She believed me. I think. Women are very scary, diary. She threw a pencil at me when I told her to 'calm down'. But even if she's throwing pencils at me, I'm grateful for her. Just like how I'm grateful for Kastor. I hope he'll find peace. I hope he gets to see a free New Theon. The free New Theon his son was fighting for.

Thanks for listening. Maybe this diary thing isn't so bad after all.

Love,

Kastor's Least Favorite Dwarf"

Y/n rubbed her fingers across the page, not bothering to move her eyes away from the words. She had no idea he felt this way. He never shared his feelings about Kastor other than to make fun of the old man. It seemed as though they had a relationship where they would rather have fun than think. If they had to think, they had to confront the reason why they were so attached to each other in the first place. They were each other's hope. As Y/n gripped the wedding ring dangling from her neck, she realized how important hope was.

The next few pages were short stories Jimin wrote. They had nothing to do with his feelings. But then, she found the page she didn't know she was looking for. The page he wrote on the day she told him she loved him. It was shorter than she was expecting. It didn't even have the intro Jimin grew accustomed to.

"She loves me. She didn't say it out of pity, she said it because she meant it. I didn't think about it before. Love, I mean. I've always liked her, but I didn't think about if I loved her until she said it. As soon as she said it, I saw and felt memories. I could feel her hair in my mouth in the morning when she was passed out and buried against my neck. I saw her eyes whenever she asked to ride Shadow out to the meadows. I felt her fingers on my chest, a touch I didn't think I'd ever like. Everything came to me at once, and I realized that I've loved her this whole time.

But do I deserve her? I don't know. I don't think so, but she might slap me for saying that. That's just the thing, diary. I've hurt her. How can I come back from that? How did she forgive me? I'll never forget when we sparred, and I made her flinch. I didn't know what heartbreak really felt like until that moment, when I saw her move away from me. I love her so much. I can't imagine hurting her now, but back then? Commander Park was a monster. I hope he dies and rots. I hope he never becomes part of me again.

Sorry this is short. I don't feel like writing today.

Love,

Jimin."

A tear hit the page. It came from her, but she didn't notice until her thumb landed in the pile of moisture. She cried in their room, all the memories of their relationship hitting her at once. She ended up curled up on their bed with the life story of Park Jimin laying beside her. For a moment, it felt as though he was there. The pages were so vivid. So alive.

She didn't move for two hours. Commander Shawman told her to return in one, but she didn't care. She was sure the man was getting impatient. He was the one who piloted the ship, meaning he was waiting for her at the dock by the Rocklands. She couldn't bring herself to care.

And, ten minutes later, she got her answer about Shawman: he was, in fact, impatient. He entered the room and witnessed her in her most vulnerable state. She didn't have the effort to care.

"I don't want to go back," she mumbled as the tears fell across her face.

"You will when you hear what I have to say." She fell quiet at that, Shawman sitting on the edge of the bed. "I've been hiding something from you. I didn't think you were in the mood to hear it."

"I doubt my mood will improve."

"That's why I think it's best to tell you now," he said, sighing after. "The Emperor reached out to us through our ambassadors in the City. He wants to meet you."

"Excuse me?"

"He wants to meet you and me. Something about wanting a peace treaty. We'd be on neutral grounds in the center of New Theon, but outside the City. Somewhere open so we can both see if there are any surprise attacks. I already organized a group of guards to escort us there."

"You're making this sound like it's happening now."

Shawman fell quiet for a beat. "It's in a few hours."

"And you didn't tell me until now?"

"You've been so focused on the next mission, there's been no time to tell you," Shawman said. "Listen, we don't have a choice. This is the first time the Emperor reached out to you peacefully. I believe he won't wipe us out. My scouts are already set up in the area in case something goes wrong. We'll be safe."

"I don't care about safety. Just you and me and the guards, that's all we need. The Emperor has Jimin. If we can negotiate his release..."

"We have to put the rebellion first."

"But if we can," Y/n said, pretending he didn't speak at all. "We'll get the upper hand. Jimin is the best fighter in New Theon."

Shawman agreed, and together, they left Flerry. She took the papers with her as they sailed back to Moros. They didn't have much time to prepare thanks to the long sea ride. Y/n packed, told Jungkook the situation, and left for New Theon with a squad of guards armed to the teeth. She was armed too, but she was sure it wouldn't matter. If the Emperor wanted them dead, no weapons or guards would save her. Not like it mattered. This was her best shot at finding Jimin and getting his release.

She didn't enjoy staying on the mainland. She much preferred Mount Moros. At least there she had access to basic necessities. New Theon didn't provide her with much. Even if it did, it didn't change the atrocities the Emperor committed. And as she approached the meeting spot, she realized she was about to speak with the man who caused so much harm. The man who took Jimin. The man who tortured Jimin and made him a weapon.

The meeting spot was empty minus the rebels. There was a single, round, wooden table with four chairs, likely for the Emperor and whoever his right hand would be. They were in a clearing like Shawman suggested. It was near Flerry but far enough that the small town wasn't put at risk. It was also far enough from the City that she didn't fear a swarm of City-goers would rush to the meeting to disrupt them. Or worse: kill them.

She could see the grasslands stretching on for over a mile, and she noticed there were people in the distance. The guards stayed at attention while Y/n and Commander Shawman sat side by side. The wood felt cheap and old, like it had been there for centuries. It smelled of mold and rot. There was dirt scattered around it, too.

Y/n attempted to calm her heart as the grass tickled by her feet. There were no trees in sight. No flowers, no Mimos, no Mismas, no wildlife. All they had was the clearing with jagged grass that hadn't been cut in months. At the very least, the grass seemed more green than yellow, but it didn't change how the amber rays of the sun cloaked the nature in a sheet of aureolin that had her trembling. Or maybe the harsh wind was the cause of that.

They waited. Their guards stayed behind them as the Emperor and his men approached. Kim Namjoon was by his side and took his seat first. Emperor Donovan was slower, his jewels clanging together as he grabbed the back of the chair. When he sat, the entirety of New Theon slipped away for a beat. His eyes met hers, and although she couldn't see his face, she knew he was smiling as he chuckled.

"It's a pleasure to formally meet you. Let's discuss peace, shall we?"

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓑𝓻𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓷˚｡➶˚┊