October 15, 2016

DAWN:

      "Oh, my!" Alice exclaims as she peeks into the garment bag hanging on the rack behind me. "This is spectacular! You've outdone yourself this time, love. How long did it take you to dream this up?"

      I giggle at her choice of words, and reply, "Strangely enough, that's exactly what happened. I had a dream once where I was wearing this dress, and as soon as I woke up I grabbed a pad and sketched it out. The actual construction was a bit more time-consuming, though. I started gathering the fabrics right after Ash proposed, but I held off on the actual cutting and sewing until we'd decided on the date. And I did the same thing with this as I did all of your dresses; I just basted them together until the final fitting a couple of weeks ago, just in case someone gained or lost a few pounds."

      "Well, luckily that didn't happen to anyone," Inna observes, as she turns to check her reflection in the mirror. "These all fit perfectly. Maybe if Jake and I get married one day, I'll have you design my gown."

      "Anytime, sweetie. And that goes for the rest of you, too."

      I've spent the last several months designing the dresses that all of the girls are wearing, along with my wedding dress, so things have been a bit busy. Fortunately, they all came out exactly the way I wanted them, so the girls all look fabulous.

      Lily is my maid of honor, of course, and she absolutely begged me not to dress her like a "little girl", but Aunt Gwen and I both agreed that a fourteen-year-old didn't need to be showing an excessive mount of skin, so I came up with this for her:

      It's a mint-green silk brocade, with hand-embroidered floral appliques sewn to the chiffon overlay that covers the bodice and forms the sleeves, with a couple trailing down onto the skirt. There is a bit of a dip to the neckline, but the flowers cover a good portion of it, so it isn't inappropriate for someone her age. And she was pretty stoked to get her first pair of actual heels to wear with it, too, even though she's had to spend a good part of the last couple of days practicing with them to make sure she doesn't fall off of them going down the aisle.

      And for my bridesmaids, which consist of Alice, Inna, Juliet, and Tiff, I went with a completely different look, with more of the vintage feel that most of my designs have:

      They're all wearing nineteen-twenties style sleeveless dresses in different colors of silk velvet, with an asymmetrical ruffled hemline and a dropped waist. Alice is in seafoam green, Inna in deep pink, Juliet's is a golden-yellow color, and Tiff is wearing ice blue, and they're dressy, but not ridiculously formal. Obviously, most normal people aren't going to wear their wedding gown out to parties or fancy dinners after the wedding, but I've always thought that it was kind of wasteful to have bridesmaids dresses that could only be worn once, and then get shoved into the back of the closet, so I decided to do something that they can wear again, if they want to.

      They've all been ready for a little while now, so it's finally time for me to get into my dress, so they can take care of my hair and makeup without having to worry about getting smears on the dress when I put it on. But just as Alice and Lily start to ease it out of the bag, there's a knock on the door, and Tiff opens it a crack to peek into the hall, then opens it to let Dad and Ash's cousin Lisa in, with both of them carrying a wriggling toddler.

      "Here you go," he announces, as our baby sister stretches out her arms, reaching for Mum. "She's just been changed, so it should be safe to put her in her dress whenever you want."

      "Come here, sweetie," she says, taking the baby from him. "You can hang out with us and watch your sister get ready, and then I'll get you dressed."

      She catches sight of us, and leans forward in Mum's arms, shrieking, "Dwin! Iwwy! Bebby tiss!"

      "Excuse us just a sec, but it seems that we need to deliver some emergency kisses before I get dressed," I tell Alice, as I move toward Mum. "All right then, Miss Bevvy, if you want kisses, you need to stop squirming. It's hard to kiss you when you're being a wiggleworm, y'know."

      "Bebby iggamerm!" she giggles, as her eyes sparkle with mischief. I lean down and drop several quick kisses across her cheeks and nose, then step aside so Lily can take her turn. Our little sister is fourteen months old as of the first of this month, and with her beautiful sky-blue eyes, caramel-colored ringlets, and perpetually cheerful nature, she's everyone's darling. Even Ash has fallen under her spell, and he spoils her almost as much as the rest of us do. Her name is Beverly Kirsten; the first name in memory of mine and Lily's mom, and the middle name for Jed's mom, who is out in the front of the venue with the rest of the family, and who was proudly proclaiming herself as "Grandma" to all three of us even before they officially adopted me. Bev is also one of my flower girls, along with Lisa's two-year-old daughter, Adelyn. Lily and Mum have been helping her practice throwing the petals over the last couple of days to make sure that she knows what she's supposed to do, and Ash actually came up with a plan to keep them from "going off-script" during the ceremony.

      Since he doesn't have any male cousins in the correct age group, he asked Emily to be the ring bearer, and along with carrying the little satin ring pillow, she's going to pull the smaller girls along in a little wooden wagon that Mum and Monica have painted up and decorated, and try to keep them focused. I've put her in a knee-length lavender nineteen-fifties style dress, and the munchkins are in pink dresses with flowers sewn onto the bodice, with blue tulle over the skirt to create a color-shifting effect, and they're both adorable in them.

      Lily finally manages to get away from Bev, and tells Dad, "I'm not trying to sound rude, but we have to kick you out now. We need to get Sissy into her dress and makeup, since I'm pretty sure we don't want Ash freaking out because she's not there on time."

      "No, that wouldn't be good," he agrees, as he gets ready to step out the door. "He's definitely getting impatient, he's already practically accused us of screwing around with the clocks, because he claims that things are taking longer than they should."

      "Well, I can definitely relate to that," I say. "I feel like this day has already been three times longer than normal. It's like the clocks have just frozen in place, like it should have already been five o'clock hours ago."

     "Just two more hours to go, hon, so there is light at the end of the tunnel," Tiff informs me as she shuts the door behind him, then locks it. "There. Now we don't have to worry about somebody walking in before you're decent."

      Alice motions for me to come back, and Lily rushes to follow, grabbing a small stool and placing it behind me, then rushing over to the corner table to grab a small box she put there earlier. As I sit down, she comes back to join Alice and Tiff, who are standing next to me, and opens the box to reveal a sizable collection of hair clips, bobby pins, and ribbons in several different colors. Then, as Alice starts applying my makeup, Lily and Tiff start on my hair, while Inna steps behind Lily to work on hers, and Juliet takes care of Emily's. 

      This gets my face and Lily's hair done in fairly short order, and my hair is arranged not long after, which gives them just enough time to spot check each other and do a couple of last-minute touch ups before the photographer taps on the door to see if we're ready for pictures.

      "Give us five more minutes!" Mum calls out, as she removes Bev's dress from the rack and starts working to get it on her. "Dawn is just getting ready to put on her dress!"

Lily dashes around to help Alice finish opening the dress bag and take the dress out. As they remove it, I hear the other girls gasp behind me, and Juliet says, "Holy shit, I see what you meant, Alice! That is one of the most gorgeous dresses I've ever seen!"

      "I know, right?" Lily enthuses. "It's so cool how Sissy decided that she wanted to have colors on her dress, instead of just plain white. It's totally different, and nobody else will have the same dress for their wedding!"

      "So this isn't going to be part of your line, or Ashley's?" Inna inquires.

      "Absolutely not, this is one of a kind, I'll never make another like this," I reply. "To be honest with you, there was a point in time when I thought this one was just going to sit in my inactive file forever. I literally dreamed about wearing this dress, walking up the aisle to Ash, not long after I got out of the hospital, when I still thought that he'd never want to see me again. I actually tore the sketch out of my book the day that Amy had me come over to meet with him, because even though I didn't think I'd ever wear it, I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else having it, either."

       I stand up, take off the robe that I've been wearing over my underwear, and position myself in front of the mirror, waiting for Lily and Alice to lift the dress over my head as everyone clusters around for a closer look:

      My dress is strapless; the bodice is constructed of pleated and gathered white silk charmeuse, with a large array of silk flowers, ribbon embroidery, and beading across the front in shades of blue, green, and pink. There is a pleated organza ruffle separating the upper part of the dress from the chiffon underskirt and embellished train, which is the only change I made to my original concept, in order to incorporate a very special piece of fabric: a linen tablecloth that Nan gave to me the last time Ash and I visited her and Pop. She explained that it had been a wedding gift from her grandmother which she had been very proud of, only using it for special occasions, until it had somehow gotten snagged on something that had made a large rip along one end. She offered it to me, saying that she would rather see it turned into something pretty for someone else to enjoy than just toss it out, and I accepted it, without any specific plan for it at that time.

      But barely a month later, Kyle called to let Ash know that she'd been sent to the hospital, and that things didn't look good, so we left on the first flight to St. Louis, and barely managed to get there in time to say our goodbyes, because she passed away just a couple of hours after we arrived at the hospital. Ash was an absolute wreck, and Pop just seemed completely lost, like he was running on autopilot, so it kind of fell on me, Amber, and Kyle to keep them from totally falling apart while Ash's aunts and uncles took care of the arrangements. We stayed in Missouri for the funeral, and for a couple of weeks afterward, until Pop seemed to be a little more like his old self, but eventually we finally had to go back to LA and get back to work.

      Then, a week or so later, it occurred to me that I should probably start planning out the dresses for my wedding party, and making a final decision on the fabrics for my dress. I moved in with Ash right after they finished the tour, and we've set up one of the spare bedrooms to hold our mutual fabric stash, so I went to see what we already had to work with, and ran across the tablecloth as I was rummaging. Once I found it again, it occurred to me that I should find some way to use it in the wedding, so that Nan could still be part of the ceremony in some way. There were already some small blue flowers embroidered across the cloth, which meant that it just needed a bit more embellishment to fit in with my concept, so I simply reworked the skirt a bit, and used it as part of the train. Ash hasn't actually seen the dress yet, of course, but when I told him what I was doing, it actually brought him to tears, and he said that he knows she'd love the idea, and being able to still take part in the wedding. 

   "Earth to Dawn! Helloooo!" Alice calls out, bringing my attention back to what's going on around me. "We kind of need you to step into your dress, love. I'm pretty certain we don't want to risk mucking up either the dress or your face by dropping it over your head."

      "And I don't think there's time for me and Tiff to redo your hair, either," Lily adds.

      "Okay, point taken," I concede, stepping very carefully into my dress and holding my arms out at my sides so Lily can hold it up as Alice starts fastening the hooks in the back. "I was just letting my mind wander a bit, that's all."

      "We had to holler at you like, three times," Lily informs me. "Where did you let it wander to, anyhow?"

      "Just thinking how using Nan's cloth in my dress almost makes it seem like she's here watching us. Like I wish Mom could be."

      "But she is, Sissy!" Lily insists. "You told me that she said she'd always be watching out for both of us, remember? She's here, I know she is! There's no way she'd miss something like this!"

      "I agree," Mum chimes in. "There's not a doubt in my mind that she'll be watching you walk up the aisle to Ash, and be overjoyed that you're so happy. But I also thought that you should have something to represent her today, too, so I brought this." She rummages in her bag with her free hand and pulls out a small bottle, passing it to Lily, who lets out a squeal.

      "Mommy's perfume!" she exclaims, holding it in front of my face. "I remember it always smelled so pretty. Can I use some too, Mum? Pleeeease?"

      "Of course you can. Just be careful not to get it on the dresses, it might stain the fabric."

      I take the bottle, spray some on my wrists, and rub them together, breathing in the gardenia scent before I hand it back to Lily. She does the same, then passes it back to Mum before turning back to hug me. "I told you so, didn't I? Mommy and Ashley's Nan are both gonna be watching you guys get married, even if we can't see them. Who knows, maybe even Sawyer will be watching. You did say that he told you he wanted you to be happy, right?"

      This surprises a laugh out of me, because it reminds me of a conversation that Ash and I had a few days ago, and after a couple of seconds I give her a squeeze and reply, "Y'know, you could be right about that, sweetie. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he was here."

      "All right, girls, let's get this show on the road," Mum interjects. "We've got a little over an hour for Toni to get the pictures taken before we have to be ready to go, y'know."

      She opens the door to let the photographer in, and things quickly become a blur of "You stand over here", "Turn a bit to the left for me, would you?", and several repetitions of "Careful! Don't step on the dress." for the next hour or so, until Dad sticks his head in the door.

      "Fifteen minutes to go time," he announces. "The guys are getting lined up in the hall, you girls might want to join them soon."

      Lily and the other girls hurry to get into position, and Mum walks out with Emily and Lisa, since they've decided not to put the kiddos into the wagon until the last possible minute, to minimize the likelihood of a tantrum when they walk out of sight. This leaves me standing by the door with Dad, and we wait silently for several minutes before he turns to look at me questioningly. "You sure you're ready for this, hon?" he inquires. 

      "I've been ready since he put this ring on my finger," I answer. "There's nothing in the world I want more than to go out there and marry Ash, so don't worry about me getting cold feet, or anything like that."

      He smiles, and as he places a quick kiss on my forehead, we hear the music start. He crooks his arm for me to take hold of and says, "Well, I think that's our cue. Shall we be on our way, then?"

      "The sooner the better," I say, as I loop my arm through his. "Let's do this." 

      With that said, we start following the others toward the large wooden doors that open into the venue. And with each step, I'm that much closer to becoming Mrs. Ashley Purdy. 

      In just a few minutes, all of our dreams will come true.