When I feel that way, I feel like it would be so great to have a quiet, private, deep conversation with someone, but I can never think of anyone who I could talk to, that way. I have thought of journaling, but it leaves me feeling empty because I would like a response. I ask questions and seek answers.

I'm not sure if I'm having feelings I haven't identified or dealt with, or what's the matter. Frequently, I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all day long, sometimes yes.

I only know that I hate going around feeling that way. Don't ask me why. Whatever contact I crave, I can't get it when I'm in that mood, or my need is far greater than anything that a human being can give me. The oddness is that it hurts bad enough that you imagine you might be bleeding to death, yet you won't die.

The loneliness endures on some level no matter who is there. If we don't feel safe vocalizing all of our needs, or we feel like no one understands our needs, or we have had to deal with environments where we had to live ghosts and had no real voice or presence in the world, or we didn't feel loved for exactly who we were. Well, the loneliness permeates. Many people do not question their existence or their identities so deeply, those who have been forced to might consistently feel lonely.

I don't know what I do now is try to lose myself in something, whether it is music or nature or reading or whatever else. Or I stop thinking about my existence and try to engage someone else and be there for them. Something to immerse myself in life that occurs outside of who I am, and that detracts from the loneliness. Something that is not passive but more proactive, so I can respect myself at the end of it.

That would go a long way.

Being in: what I mean by limbo is that you don't move anywhere. You don't go up and you don't go down it is just the same monotony over and over again.

I'm currently in that rut... and it is really getting grating. While other people are off pursuing higher education, I'm still stuck trying to get into higher education (and that's tentative at best). I am working harder but everything is starting to get vanilla...even the "fun" moments like video games or purchasing personal stuff for myself (although nowadays I no long have a time for my personal stuff).

I read that INTJs (I don't care what personality I have) are very driven and I can relate because I want to succeed in life. I'm doing my best so I could move on with my life to next stage of my plans.

Have you guys ever been in limbo?

How did you feel while you were in it?

How did you survive it?

I'm sorry if this sounds like complaining, but it's a bit of a rant or vent for me especially since I feel quite behind my peers in terms of a lot of things.

My analogy is that like a great white shark, I have to be moving or I will die. When my life is stagnant if I don't have any direction to move or at least be planning some type of mobility in my future. I get depressed, become nihilistic, and sometimes fall into Se grip. I hate it. I feel claustrophobic when the most I can is planning the immediate future. It's like I'm suffocating. Add feeling "behind" other people (especially people who have screwed up their lives or made bad choices while I've sacrificed fun in order to stick to my long view goals) and yeah, it's a bad place to be. I mean literally not knowing which way is up.

But whenever I go to sleep. I stay restless thinking. From time to time this answer traps me. Like what if I ride it out? Accept that I can make small improvements now or at least not let myself get in a worse place in other words like trying not to undo later or complicate  plan 'A'.

I know that even if I don't follow the exact plan I can still get ahead.  But damn it I will feel more lost and disorganised. Even planning and plotting without movement can get me down It's more like the equivalent of the super villain in prison, imagining this scenarios traps me in prison of my self so planning is kinda worthless in this point.

The limbo line will begin to flow again.