First a Definition

Gay Male

A man who is solely attracted to other men in a sexual and or romantic way. Applies to Cis men and Trans men equally as it has nothing to do with biological sex. Gay men may or may not be attracted to Trans men or only be attracted to Cis men. While some may view this as transphobic it is right to remember that attraction is not a choice and that statement was the very beginning of LGBT rights in this country and there is nothing a person can do to change their sexual attraction.

Now onto the culture of Gay Men as separated from other LGBT groups

Gay men are one of the most common depictions in media of LGBT characters. While there is starting to be more representation Gay Men are the most commonly seen and are often seen as the face of our movement in many respects. And while this may be true there is a lot that they get wrong. Often using stereotypes to convey the message that they are gay rather than putting it in the text they put it in the subtext. This can be considered "coded gay" and while many people want more out of their representation there are many on the conservative side of things that would prefer we stay out of media in general.

Gay male culture also is well known to be rooted in racism and sexism in ways you wouldn't think of. If you go on Grindr you will see endless pages saying "No Asians, No Queens" as one example. While personally, I fail to see the problem with dating someone of a different culture or who likes to bend the rules when it comes to gender it's clearly still a problem in certain areas of LGBT culture

Another prevalent theme in the Gay Male culture is surprising. In surveys taken in America Gay Males are significantly more likely to be in shape and have an extremely lowered risk of obesity. While this is not true for all sections of our culture as the same surveys revealed Lesbians were at a higher risk this does provoke curiosity as to what could be the cause. Perhaps gay men are trying harder to stay in shape because finding potential partners is more difficult.  Perhaps exercise is a coping mechanism for dealing with the pressures of being gay in society. Perhaps male gay culture puts more pressure on men to conform to a masculine ideal body type. My personal theory is that its all three of these and many more unknown factors.

Gay male culture has also created many wonderful things as well. The rainbow flag. Without Gay Men speaking up when women didn't have as loud a voice as many men did the movement would've been slowed down to the point we still might not have gay marriage. But as I am proud of the strides our community has made I also want to look at the ways we have a long way to go even within our own community. Now that those problems have been addressed let's move on to some representations of gay men in the media specifically Yaoi.

I know it doesn't seem like a scholarly way to go about looking at LGBT representation but there is a much larger base of work to talk about when it comes to Yaoi then there is for coded gay characters which will honestly need their own chapters for me to fully get into.

But Yaoi is a good way to show everything typically done both right and wrong in our communities eyes as far as gay representation goes.

Let's start with the right.

It makes gay men and by extension gay culture less intrusive and frightening to general audiences.

While this isn't true for all yaoi and there are problems I will get into later. Yaoi typically shows gay couples, not as this scary thing that churches believe them to be but as sweet endearing couples that want the same thing out of their lives and relationships. I.E. Love, mutual respect, affection, trust, etc.

They make being gay seem normal not something shameful

Say what you want about Yaoi but no one there will tell any of the viewers that being gay is wrong. In fact, it is the most normal thing in the world. To them, it's like breathing so to the viewer they get used to the idea that people around them might be gay.

it allows viewers to experience sexuality from a safe environment

I know a lot of people complain that yaoi is for straight women and that its poor representation

Now for what's wrong

In a way, it still follows gender roles

In yaoi, there is typically a more of a typical gender role couple. By that I mean one plays the role of a man and the other plays the role of a woman. While this does sometimes occur in a relationship where one will take on more masculine roles and the other more feminine. Yaoi basically has nothing but these gender roles. Actually, I can extend that to most gay couple media in general.

Abuse is romanticized 

Honestly, this should be more of a complaint with romance in general not just Yaoi. It's a common trope to the point I wrote a psychological book about what would actually happen if someone attempted these "Romantic Kidnapping" things in the real world. It was not pretty and the whole point was to make romanticized abuse leave a bitter taste in the mouth the next time someone reads it. But it is still there in Yaoi and I can not stress enough that this is a highly dangerous idea to spread around and we shouldn't endorse it.

Stereotypes are used

Now stereotypes are unavoidable in media but for Yaoi the stereotypes can be a bit more harmful. The people who watch Yaoi often love gay culture they just don't know how to access it so they have been watching Yaoi to try and feel close.

Fetishizing of Gay Men

Now I don't think fetishes are necessarily a bad thing. As a trans man myself, My gender identity is considered a fetish and I have come to terms with that. Now there are arguments to be made on both sides here. As a trans man back when I was struggling with my gender identity I watched Yaoi. While others considered it a fetish it connected in me something I haven't ever experienced before. I wasn't ready to seek out LGBT culture yet but it helped me get to that point. But there are women who watch it who merely want to fetishize gay guys. But at the same time, that fetish often stems from some inadequacy in her own sex or romantic life and could lead to her discovering that she isn't fully straight, or cis. 

On the other hand, it can lead to gay men being objects to oggle rather than people with their own relationships and lives. And I can understand the frustration on that front. Gay men aren't there for women to oggle they are there for their boyfriends to oggle. And it can feel like two steps forward one step back but it is progress that we have more representation in the media even if it doesn't feel like good representation. And many of the problems are slowly disappearing or at least lessening.

I chose Yaoi cause it has many of the same problems and triumphs a good portion of queer media does. It is for better or worse what we have right now. But as we grow in number we are more and more by the day making things for queer people, about queer people, by queer people. Check out this book for an example. It's written by a queer man Me.