“Teri baahon ke ghere me kaid tha,

meri neendon ka aashiyan…

Jara sameta kya tune khud me,

mere sukoon ko jaise rihayi mil gayi….”

The distance nurtured the pain in their hearts, but slowly it dissipated in thin air, as their love bubbled up claiming it’s lost place again. She was content, finally relieved and happy in her heart, but Sameer was still aggrieved. Those scary words of the doctor were still resonating in his heart. He was not only in pain but deeply scared and worried. Thinking about that wound, he slowly tightened his arms around her, maybe unknowingly.

Naina snuggled in his heart, her hands went around his waist some more tight and she mumbled,”umhmm, Sameer… sone dijiye naa, mujhe bhut neend aa rahi hai…”

Sameer leaned slightly and looked at her small face snuggling in himself. At the same time, she scrunched her nose, pouted and sniffed. Unknowingly his lips curled up. They were sitting there quietly not more than 20 minutes and his cute little wifey already dozed off, but next moment his heart ached thinking of those sleepless nights she spent in pain and tension.

All of a sudden, he wanted nothing but to hide her in himself, that too so well that no pain could ever see her. But at the very moment his heart was restlessly pounding sending him signals. He felt like a failure… he failed as a friend to understand her… he failed as her husband to love her… he failed to fulfill his own vow to protect her… he failed badly but now he vowed again to at least take care of her in all possible ways.

He lifted her slowly, but suddenly frowned and murmured,”itna weight loss… kaise Nainu… “, but sighed slowly and carried her to the room.

Naina was in deep sleep, God knows another side effect of medicine, or she was just feeling light and relieved after shrugging off that burden from her heart but of course he couldn’t. He lied down with her in arms, caressed her hairs, and kissed her forehead softly. Although he didn’t want to leave her side, still after thinking something, he got up and went downstairs.

Nanu smiled looking at him walking inside the kitchen. He got up from the couch and headed to his room, but a voice stopped him.

Sameer stopped him in time and asked him,”Nanu, aap dinner me aaj kya khayenge… kya bnau… Naina kya bnati hai… aur kaise…”

Nanu looked at him and suddenly burst into a loud laughter. Wrapped in a brown apron, he had a ladle in one hand, while he scratched his head with another, but the cute innocence on his face reminded him that adorable kid 20 years before he was. He laughed heartily, in fact louder when a confused Radhe appeared behind him.

Well he was about to reply, but then Kanchan di came with a brown diary and said,”Sameer baba, aap isme dekho… isme Naina bahu ne sab kuch likha hai… kal bhabhiji bol bhi rahi thi ki bade sahab ke bare me kuch bhi janna ho isme dekhna, agar wo naa huyi toh…”

“Kya matlab naa huyi toh… Naina kyu nahi hogi… yahi toh hai wo… wo yahi rahegi… mm mujhe… mere paas… nahi hoga use kuch… kuch bhi nahi… nn nhi…”, suddenly he jerked and mumbled incoherently as if something triggered under his calm demeanor.

Radhe and Kanchan stood confused, while nanu frowned. He looked at him deeply and said loudly,”Sameer…”

“Ji… ji nanu..”, he was startled and replied, wiping his forehead sadly.

Nanu again stared at him for a moment and said, this time softly,”tu ye khana waana chhod, ye Kanchan aur Radhe kar lenge… tu mere paas aa kamre me, mujhe kuch kaam hai…”

“Ji nanu…”,he couldn’t say anything more and just replied with a sigh. Of course he knew and understood that nanu had already seen what he was trying to keep from him, and now he actually didn’t know how to answer him. However he opened the diary, took a look at the time table and instructed about the menu to Kanchan and slowly went to Nanu’s room.

****************************************

“Sameer…”, nanu roared. His voice filled with disdain but eyes shown an incompetent pain.

When there is no other way, truth is the most convenient road to walk. And following the path Sameer chose to say everything honestly to him. Now when nanu knew everything, he roared in anger. Sameer lowered his eyes. He knew he had disappointed him this time.

At this time Nanu’s roar like voice resonated again,”wo Dipti… wo aisa kaise kar sakti hai… usne socha bhi kaise Jaiprakash Maheshwari ke parivaar pr haath daalne ka… “

“Nanu aap aise gussa….”, Nanu was hell angry at this time, and beyond anything, Sameer became worried for him. But, it seemed like this time his bottom line was trampled.

“Chup kar Sameer… mana thodi tabiyt kharab thi, lekin itna bhi kamjor nahi ki har aira gaira mere bachho ki zindagi se khele…”, Nanu scolded him.

“Nanu, gussa toh mujhe bhi hai, aur ye hisab toh mai bhi karna chahta hu unka, lekin ye sab se jyada abhi Naina ki health important hai…”,Sameer tried to calm the raging storm unsuccessfully.

“Achaa… tujhe fikar hai uski…”,nanu sneered.

Sameer lowered his eyes, in fact head. Couldn’t dare to meet his eyes at all.

Nanu sighed, looked at his dear grandson, somehow he felt very pity for him. It’s not like he couldn’t understand his love for his wife, but he was still disappointed in him. He loved him dearly, spoiled him at extreme, but now important to teach him a lesson too.

“Sameer, kitni baar kha tha ki kabhi business aur kaam ke liye parivaar ko pichhe nahi chhodte, lekin tu… mujhe toh yakeen bhi nahi ho rha ki mera Sameer… aise bhi… mujhe lagta tha ki tu ab samjhta hai use, lekin tune toh…”, nanu was really disappointed in him, he walked and sat on the bed dejected.

“Nanu, I am sorry, I am really sorry… lekin sach me yha kuch bhi thik nahi tha tab… wo Tribhuvan aur uske admiyon ne… Mai toh bas use pareshan nahi karna chahta tha… “Sameer saw him dejected, he quickly crouched before him, kept his hands on his knees and mumbled. Though wanted to tell everything, but, at the last moment, he decided to conceal some facts, because he didn’t want to disturb him anymore.

Nanu was angry but sad too. He heaved a long breath, kept his hand on his head and said,”hm, ab aur kuch nahi, bas uska khyal rakh… agar use kuch…”

“Nahi nanu… Naina ko kuch nahi… meri Nainu ko kuch nahi… Nanu…”, Sameer suddenly jerked his head and shook his head hastily.

Nanu took a deep breath again and looked at his grandson’s pitiable demeanor sadly. At this moment, he looked like a lost kid. He wanted to soothe him, but he actually couldn’t bring himself with some consoling words, but just rubbed his head and patted his back slowly.

After some more time, he said,”jaa ab upar… “

“Par Nanu aap…”,he was not sure.

“Mai thik hu, tu meri chhod aur apni Nainu ka khyal rakh, mai bhi thik rahunga tab…”,he said patting her cheeks, and in a soft teasing tone.

“I am sorry Nanu…”, Sameer got up and walked to go upstairs, but stopped and mumbled before leaving the room. Nanu didn’t reply, but slowly nodded his head.

*****************************************

“Sameer…”

God knows how much time passed when Naina woke up finally and looked at him staring at herself lovingly. As if still in a daze, she lifted her hand, and mumbled his name even before her fingers touched him.

Apart from checking on Nanu’s dinner, and accompanying him on the table, he stayed by her side quietly. He laid beside her, settled himself on his elbow, stroked her hairs and stared at her all the time.

When Sameer saw her wake, hensat straight. Her soft voice and a sweet smile, his lips curled up too. He held her hand, kissed her palm and said softly,”Nainu, uth ke kuch kha lo, fr baaki baate, thik hai…”

“Sameer…”,this time her eyebrows frowned as if looking at some ghost, voice was a little louder, and mixed with disbelief.

Naina looked at his hand holding her palm unbelievably. Suddenly she got up, lifted her other hand and slowly touched his cheeks.

Now Sameer frowned. But He couldn’t understand anything, held her other hand too and asked softly,”kya hua Naina… aise q dekh rahi ho mujhe…”

“Sameer aap…”,she whispered and got in a haste.

Sameer was still confused, slightly scared for her mental health too, when she sat up hastily, looked at him again in disbelief, but then suddenly threw herself in his arms.

“I missed you Sameer, I missed you so much… I really really missed you alot…”,she blabbered incoherently and burst into tears.

“Naina… sweetu…”,he tried to coax her like a kid, but still not sure that she is really expressing her grief, or it’s a blast of her emotions.

However, he remembered the doctor’s instructions, wrapped her in himself tightly and tried to calm her more.

“Nainu… mai yahi hu sweetu… aur hamesha yahi rahunga, tumhare pass…”,he said softly while swinging back and forth slowly.

“Sameer, aapko pta hai waha Delhi me…”,it seemed like a year, but in less than 5 minutes, she sobbered and said in a low, less agitated tone.

Sameer sighed in heart, recounted the doctor’s warning of extreme mood flips and said softly,”Nainu, bahut der ho gyi hai, pehle kuch kha lo, fr hum Delhi ki sari baate karenge… “,he said slowly and gradually mumbled in heart,”Mujhe bhi sab janna hai…”, but couldn’t say it loudly.

Fortunately without any more delay, Naina hummed and got up.

“Nainu, tum change kar lo, mai khana yahi le aata hu…”, suddenly Sameer said and about to leave.

But before he could leave, it seemed like Naina remembered something and said in a fit of worry,”Sameer, Nanaji…”

“Don’t worry sweetu… unko dinner krwa diya, medicines bhi de di aur ab tak toh nanu so bhi gye honge… ab jaakar change karo naa, mujhe sach me bhut bhuk lagi hai…”, Sameer replied and suddenly whined like a kid.

Naina smiled and hummed in reply.

**********************************************

“Sameer, kya mai badal gayi hu…”

It was after dinner, when Sameer pulled her in the balcony and sat with her in his arms. Though they were quiet, but at the same time both wanted to talk endlessly. Naina was quiet, but peaceful and relaxed, while Sameer was not only sad but feeling extremely guilty.

The look on her face when he fed her the first morsel was something that he couldn’t forget ever, and that made him very uncomfortable in heart. He wanted to ask about Delhi, wanted to know more about her condition, but this time feeling completely out of words.

Sameer didn’t know how to start, when suddenly Naina asked and he was stunned. His mind was already in mess and this question filled his mind with blankness.

“Nahi Nainu… aisa toh nahi lagta mujhe… kya hua hai, kisi ne kuch kha kya…”,hr thought for a moment before replying and asked softly.

“Sameer, wha naa… wha mujhe kuch ho gya tha… kabhi kabhi bhut ajib sa feel hota tha… bhut… bhut jyada.. “,she lifted her face from his heart, looked at him agitated, closed her fists and said like struggling for the right words.

Seeing her so agitated, he moved quickly. He held her face in palms, and said,”itna pareshan hone ki baat nhi Nainu… mai yhi hu naa, tum shant ho jao aur fr bolo, kya hua…”

“Sameer, wha naa… wha kabhi bhut rona aata tha… kabhi itna gussa aata tha ki… kanji bhaiya aur bhuri ko bhi kya kya suna diya maine… aur Rohan aur Amrita…”,she was slightly calm now, but then suddenly got quiet.

Sameer waited patiently, but she seemed lost somewhere, and he couldn’t help but ask,”Rohan aur Amrita kya Naina… kuch hua kya unse… I mean Mrs. Somani ya…”

“Nahi Sameer, jhagda nahi… lekin jab bhi wo nanaji se… mera matlab hai… Sameer, unhe saath dekh kar mujhe… matlab aisa pehle toh kabhi nahi lga, lekin us waqt jaise khud ko… khud ko samajh hi nahi pati thi… ajib sa lagta tha… jaise mere seene pr achanak se koi bojh aa pda ho, jaise mai saans bhi nahi le paa rahi… Sameer, aisa nahi hai ki mai nanaji ka khyal nahi rakhna chahti thi, lekin wo dono jab bhi…”, she paused for a moment, but this went like an era for Sameer, before she started again.

“Sameer, kabhi kabhi toh un dono ko dekhne se bhi dar lagta tha, ki kahi meri najre unke rishtey ko, unke pyar ko na lag jaye… mujhe khud se nafrat hoti thi, bhut jyada… mai khud ko jaise… Sameer mujhe aisi Naina achi nahi lagti…”

As much as she spoke, Sameer was hating himself more. The more he wanted to protect her, the more he pushed her into endless grief. In this whole time, his only fault was that he couldn’t understand her heart. He couldn’t understand that since her childhood she was never treated well by her family, and now when she found love in him, this sudden distance couldn’t bear by her innocent heart. He then wanted to talk to her, but didn’t, coz worried for her  and now, he had no single word to say that could calm her, but he had to.

He sighed in heart and said slowly,”kuch nahi hua hai Naina… kuch bhi toh nhi… meri Naina bilkul waisi hi hai… kuch kaise ho sakta hai, mai kuch hone hi nahi dunga…”

With his every word his wounds started to bleed again. He hugged her, infact wrapped her in his arms so tight as if wants to accentuate in himself. Naina too squeezed her eyes, and hugged his waist tightly as if wants to imprint him on her heart.

God knows how much time passed, but he somehow controlled himself, and said softly,”Nainu, chalo ab rest karo… aur haa aaj ka toh sara din aise hi chala gaya, lekin kal se tum pura din sirf padhai karogi, nothing else… maine tumhara timetable bna diya hai bas wahi follow karna hai… nanu ka khana, dawai ya fr baki ka sara schedule mai dekhunga… ya fr jarurat padi toh koi nurse rakh lenge, thik hai…”

Naina gasped and gawked at him. But instantly protested,”lekin Sameer….”

“Nahi, ispr naa koi behes hogi aur naa koi badlaav… ye pura mahina tum sirf ek kaam karogi… nahi actually do, no three… ek padhai, dusra khud ka khyal rakhogi aur…”,he paused for a moment, and she asked anxiously.

“Aur teesra…”

“teesraaaa…… ummm, lemme think….. haa, apne nikamne pati se thoda pyar bhi kar lena….”,he pinched her nose and teased her.

**********************************************

Haash… finally she smiled, finally she laughed, finally he heard the jingles of her bangles, finally she looked a little like before. Sameer turned and softly sighed looking at her coming out of the washroom. Though he was sad and anxious, but her beautiful appearance was like a flow of cool breeze amidst scratching hot sun.

Naina came, looked at him with a mixed feeling of excitement and shyness. Although they were sleeping together for the last two days, that some inches of distance was more than kilometres. And now her physical condition was not compatible, but a sweetness filled her heart.

Sameer too looked at her, somewhere looking forward to these moments too. But now……?

What an unfateful situation…….??????

Sameer wanted to but couldn’t… coz he knew her situation and Naina… she knew her condition but still wanted to..

However, they both looked at each other deeply for some moments… though lips were quiet, but eyes had stories of their heart. Slowly Naina ambled and laid down beside him. Suddenly the air seemed thicker and their heart throbbed.

At first she laid on her back maintaining a small distance, Sameer didn’t say anything but settled himself on the back of his palms and just looked at her deeply with a teasing smile. Naina bit her lips, tried to endure the shyness, but the spreading smile on lips and a pink blush on cheeks spilled the beans. She squeezed shut her eyes, smiled sweetly, turned and hid her face in his chest.

Sameer smiled, tightened his arms around her completely hiding her in himself. Even if it was not desire, he wanted to reassure her presence and perhaps wanted to assure her well-being. His heart raced suddenly excited like a teenager. He didn’t know what exactly happened, but as she snuggled more into him, his heart burned with rekindled passion. His hands moved gently on his back. Though all anxious for her, but still sane enough to keep himself restrained and not exert more pressure.

Well, if passion burnt his heart, then it’s not otherwise for Naina also. Her breaths got heavier too. If his hand moved, then hers was not quiet either. Though slower than him, but her hand too moved on his waist to abdomen and chest. She held his shoulder and slowly moved from his embrace.

“Nainu…”, suddenly he whispered.

His voice was hoarse and in this moment it felt so hot that her already warm breaths got warmer, lips parted and she sighed softly. Her face gleamed in enchanting dim golden light and eyes shone like bright diamonds. She looked like the hot flame stucked in cold ice that completely soaked him in feelings. He leaned slowly that their breaths fragrant each other. Didn’t matter that she shifted or he pulled her back, but she tilted her head in his embrace, they both looked at each other at the same time and just in the moment his warm lips brushed on hers.

They both sighed at the feeling of the moment. It was like that first drop of rain that fell on the hot earth and lost somewhere in it. But just like the parched earth their thirst wasn’t gonna be satiated by this only. His lips intruded hers again and with a soft humm welcomed by her.

Like a sweet marshmallow, her taste dissolved in his breaths igniting the fires of seduction. His lips moved gentle with hers but demanded more of her. Though he knew, he couldn’t, and he restrained himself. But Naina didn’t know. She hummed, moaned and arched herself until his body brushed in him. He groaned aloud.

“Sameer… “

“Naina…”

They both sighed each other’s name, but this time it blazed the fire between them. He leaned again. His warm unyielding lips on hers again, this time more demanding and deep. She gasped, held her shoulders and next moment her hands slid and locked behind his neck, fingers entangled in thick hairs.

As the kiss deepened, his hands too coupled with his lips and sneaked in her top and warm palm found the treasure of softness. His body leaned and brushed against her warmth. She moaned and whimpered loudly, giving him the way of her soul. As his magical hands did the trick, shaped and pinched her beauty mounds, their lips moved eagerly, tongues tasted and mingled with each other, the body moved in a rhythm that soused their senses completely.

Sameer didn’t know exactly when he lost the path, but his body leaned more on her exerting some weight and hands now moved on her belly. Her hands too moved hungrily on him raising the degrees of carnality. But then….

She frowned, her eyes opened wide, that went unnoticed from his closed eyes. But just the next moment, she held his moving hands to herself, squeezed shut her eyes and her other hand held his shoulder very tightly.

Sameer frowned and looked at her. Suddenly she whimpered, first slowly then loudly, shook her head left and right vehemently and mumbled,”dard ho raha hai…. Aaahhh… dard… dard ho rha hai Sameer…”

It was like her words fell like a meteor enlightening his senses in fact startling him. He was shocked. More than quickly he moved away from her body, cupped her cheeks and said,”Nainu…. Kya… kya hua… kha dard ho rha… Nainu I am sorry sweetie… Nainu…”

He kept taking her name, but she couldn’t reply, in  fact still shaking her head hastily. She bit her lips and clenched her teeth tightly to endure the pain. For one moment, he helplessly looked at her ashen paled complexion, but next moment leaned and tried to lift her.

“Ghabrao mat Naina.. sab.. sab thik ho jayega… abhi doctor ke paas jate hai…”,he tried to soothe her and lifted her head.

“Nahi…”,just as he leaned to lift her, she grasped his t-shirt and mumbled.

“Lekin Naina….”,he protested immediately.

“Nahi… nahi Sameer… aisa… ahh… aisa hota hai kabhi kabhi… wo maine dawai nahi… li… shayad isiliye… bas mujhe dawai de… de dijiye…”,she stuttered somehow writhing in pain.

Sameer was stunned, he wanted to go to the hospital instantly, but she didn’t allow it. He once again tried to lift her, when she mumbled again,”Sameer, abhi koi doctor nahi milega aur is waqt jayenge toh nanaji bhi pareshan ho jayenge… aur subah… subah toh jana hi hai naa…”

Sameer caught in a dilemma. Though he remembered the doctor’s warning clearly, it was true that no doctor would be there. He sighed in confusion, looked at her curling up like a ball and asked her,”lekin abhi tumhe jo itna dard hai…”

“Kuch nahi… dawai de dijiye bas…”,she said with a faint smile.

“Dawai…”,he whispered to himself and then compelled himself towards sanity and said,”Naina… itni dawai leni achi baat nahi naa… mai tumhe garam pani laa kar deta hu, aur hot water bag… tumhe acha lagega…”

“Lekin Sameer…”,she tried to protest.

“Nainu, ek baar try to karo… agar fr bhi kuch nahi hua to medicine le lena…”,he calmed her.

With a soft humm she understood and laid again and Sameer went downstairs.

Just after 5 minutes, Sameer walked into the room again, with a hot water glass, but she was not in the room. He reached the dressing room hearing a sound there and asked knocking on the door,”Nainu… kya hua… thik ho naa…”

“Hmm… bas abhi aayi…”,she replied.

Slightly confused he kept the glass on the side table of the bed. Suddenly his eyes fell on shining deep red spots on the bedsheet and though it took him one minute to understand but soon he understood and the next moment his eyes widened. He quickly reached for the dressing room again and asked worriedly,”Nainu, tum thik ho naa…”

This time with a humm, the door opened and he held her quickly.

“Don’t worry, mai thik hu… wo kapde thode kharab ho gye the toh… ye bedsheet bhi… mai change…”,she said with a trembling voice but he interrupted.

“No… tum baitho yaha… ye pani piyo, aur ye sab mai karta hu…”,he said and supported her to sit on the love seat.

“Lekin…”,she wanted to protest but his one look was enough to show her resoluteness and she sat down quietly.

After settling her well, Sameer pulled the corners of the bedsheet and threw it in a laundry basket rolling like a ball, and brought out another fresh bedsheet. Though he took the task in hand but suddenly realised how much that mattress was heavy and task was heavier. He struggled, and failed several times. Naina chuckled and got up to help him, but he decisively stopped her. However somehow after struggling for a few minutes, he managed to pull the corners not in exact place but at least now sleepable.

“Oh no…”,just as the task in hand completed, he remembered something and ran downstairs muttering a curse.

Naina frowned, wanted to follow, but revolting pain was so much to go downstairs. Patiently impatiently she waited until he appeared again after 15 minutes, this time with a hot water bag.

“Sorry, wo pani jal gaya tha, isiliye fr se garam karne me thoda time lag gya…”,he said and slowly kept the bag on her lower abdomen.

She moaned softly in relief and he sighed in relief. After sometime, though groaning in pain slightly, but much lower than before, she slept. God knows it was the effect of warm water, that small tablet that doctor prescribed today, or his presence, but she slept. He saw her sleeping, felt relieved, but couldn’t sleep for the whole night.

***************************************************

“Tu… Naina nahi uthi ab tak… wo thik hai naa…”, Nanu asked him instantly when saw him giving himself the first tea of morning, instead of his beloved daughter in law.

“Nahi Nanu, uski tabiyat thodi kharab thi raat ko… thik se so bhi nahi payi, isiliye maine uska alarm off kar diya…”,once he said everything to him, now decided not to keep secrets from him.

Nanu didn’t reply but his eyebrows knitted and he lost in some deep thoughts.

“Kya sochne lage nanu…”,he asked.

“Soch rha hu, wha Delhi me kitni baar aisa hua hoga lekin tab uska alarm kisi ne off nahi kiya… har subah muskurati huyi aati thi mere saamne…”, Nanu replied but his tone choked with surge of overwhelmed emotions.

Sameer looked at him, tried to recreate the scenes in his imagination, but last night the way she whined and writhed, his heart ached impeccably just with a little imagination. He didn’t know what to reply but slowly said,”aap chinta mat kijiye Nanu… abhi wo uthegi to hum jayenge doctor ke pass… Naina bilkul thik ho jayegi…”

Nanu thought for a moment and asked him,”Sameer, abhi office me kitne projects chal rahe hai…”

“Ek do chhote projects hi hai Nanu… aapki operation ke liye wha tha, fr socha tha ki jab tak aap puri tarah thik ho kar ghar nhi aayenge koi nya project nhi lunga… fr wo strike ki wajah se bhi delay ho gya…”, though he was confused but explained well.

“Thik hai, tu mishra ko bol mujhe report kare aur Nisha ko bhi… abhi kuch time ke liye ye sab kaam mai hi dekhunga…”,nanu said resolutely.

His resolution shook him and he immediately protested,”lekin Nanu…”

“Nahi Sameer… abhi Naina ko teri jarurt hai… aur ye sab kaam jyada nahi hai… tu fikar mat kar, mai exertion nhi lunga… aur fr tu toh hai hi…”, Nanu tried to make him understand.

“Nahi Nanu… ye sab mai kar lunga, aap chinta mat kijiye… mai apna time ache se manage karunga…”, Sameer said.

“Sameer, ye mujhe karne de beta… kahi na kahi meri bhi galti hai… maine shayad samjha hi nhi ki agar thoda sa bhi ye sab baant leta toh shayad aj ye nahi hota… lekin aj jab tujhe aur Naina ko, mere bachho ko jarurat hai to kya mai aise hi khada dekhta rahu… tu chinta mat kar, mai khud ka bhi khyal rakhunga… agar apne liye nahi bhi toh ab tum dono ke liye…”, Nanu explained in detail.

Sameer didn’t know what to say, but nodded and got up to leave to go to his room. Perhaps he too felt a need for some spare time to be with her. He was not sure but decided to give it a chance.

“Sameer, tu aur kuch mat sochna, mai sab sambhal lunga… itne barso me tarah tarah ke logo se deal karne ka anubhav hai mujhe… mai dekhta hu wo Tribhuvan wala matter… aur us Dipti ko bhi…”, Nanu said again with a deep resolution.

Sameer nodded, but he trembled sensing the hatred and fury in his voice.

***********************************************

“Oh Mr. Maheshwari… so soon… I…”, as soon as the doctor Shruti saw him entering, she exclaimed, but stopped in between as he shook his head negatively slightly.

Doctor frowned but stopped as saw Naina following him. Perhaps she understood and smiling in a professional way asked them to sit.

Thankfully Naina didn’t notice the exchange between them. She sat and slowly explained her problem. As much as she explained, eyebrows of the doctor knitted together deeply. She asked her some regular questions mostly about the frequency and quantity of the medicines she took.

In the end she sighed, called her assistant and sent her for the  preliminary check-up. Sameer didn’t say anything till now, but as soon as she left, he asked the doctor,”doctor, meri Naina… wo…”, he was completely at loss of words, didn’t know what to ask, how to ask and most importantly how to bear the reply.

“Well… frankly it’s not gonna be simple, but for now, let me check her first, then we can talk…”, the doctor replied in a soft tone, but her voice was not strength giving at all.

However, the time passed slowly and impatiently he waited for completion of check-up. Suddenly after 20 or 25 minutes, a nurse, probably the assistant of doctor Shruti, came running and said hurriedly,”sir, aapki wife ko admit karna padega, please aap sari formalities puri kar dijiye…”

Sameer felt like going through an earthquake. Everything shook around him and He asked worriedly,”kya hua hai Meri Naina ko…”

“Sir, doctor ma’am aa rahi hai thodi der me… she will talk to you… abhi agar der na ho to better hai… “, softly she replied and lost again behind the closed doors of the check-up room seeing him nodding agreed.

*******************************************

“Doctor… Naina… kha hai wo… I want to see her…”,after more than 25 minutes when completing the formalities, he was waiting desperately for the next update, finally the doctor came.

“Relax Mr. Maheshwari… I understand ki aap bhut worried hai unke liye, but we have to deal with it maturely…. Filhaal wo thik hai… she needs an infusion, wahi drip lagayi hai… haa, lekin isse pehle, I need something to talk to you… please have a sit and listen to me carefully…”, doctor softly said and sat in her chair.

Sameer too sat before her, though extremely worried but understood the need of the moment.

“Mr. Maheshwari, aapka case bhut different tha toh last night maine kafi research ki hai in dono pills pr… but isse pehle mai apni findings share karu, let me ask you, Naina ji ko kuch time pehle koi chot lagi thi, koi accident hua tha… on her waist or lower abdomen… ya fr aap logo ke private moments me kabhi kisi aggression ki wajah se kuch…”,she asked softly.

Sameer furrowed his brows and replied slowly,”yes doctor… kuch time pehle… ummm, usko uski aunty ne… I mean haa use kamar pr kafi gehri chot aayi thi, almost do mahine pehle…”, he replied but his heart started to pound violently in his lungs.

“Toh aapko kabhi nahi laga ki unka test karwana chahiye…”, the doctor asked this time slightly aggrieved.

“Karwaya tha doctor… Doctor Dipti ke yha hi… usi waqt unhone wo contraceptives prescribe ki thi aur kha tha rest ke liye… fr Naina ne recover bhi kar liya tha…”,he replied slowly but a fear clawed his heart deeply.

Doctor sighed, perhaps didn’t know what to say, but after some moments said softly again,”Mr. Maheshwari… let me inform you that her uterus is badly injured and these pills… ek pill shayad itna effect nhi karti, but in dono pills ki wajah se unki body ka self healing system completely tut gaya hai… abhi internal bleeding bahut jyada thi isliye admit kiya hai…”

“Doctor… meri Naina…”, Sameer looked like a bloodless lifeless corpse and somehow muttered her name.

Doctor looked at him, tried to remain professional but the grief of the couple affected her too. She replied slowly but kind of friendly and helpful manner,”abhi wo thik hai… baki reports ek ghante me aa jayegi… tab tak you can accompany her…”

*******************************************

“I am sorry sweetu…”,he mumbled again and again looking at her sleeping face.

When he came to see her, she looked extremely haggard lying helplessly on that hospital bed. His heart gave a physical lurch and he strode forward, held her hand and sat like falling on the visitor chair.

“Mai thik hu Sameer…” she smiled and said.

Though he nodded, but didn’t know what to say and just remained quiet. He bit his lips to endure the pain, lowered his eyes to hide the misty redness, but just held her hand tightly.

Perhaps she would notice her painful state, but fortunately the nurse came, injected something in drip bottle and said softly,”ab inko neend aayega… inko sone do, disturb nahi karne ka… jitna rest karega, utna acha iska vaaste…”

Sameer nodded to the nurse and looked at Naina. He softly caressed her hairs, compelled himself to smile and said somehow maintaining a loving and caring pitch,”so jao Nainu… mai yahi hu…”

Naina looked at him deeply. She wanted to ask something, perhaps noticed the pain in his eyes, but then her eyelids felt heavier and before sleeping she said slowly,”Sameer, nanaji…”

“Kuch mat socho abhi… mai baat kar lunga… tum rest karo bas…”,he replied and kissed her forehead softly.

After she slept, Sameer called and talked to Nanu, updated him with all the information. Nanu told him not to worry about him and to take care of Naina only. Then he went in and sat beside her again. Now as she was sleeping he couldn’t help but his eyes spilled helplessly.

He held her hands, leaned and kept his head in the crook of her neck and mumbled an apology again and again, while his eyes kept spilling endlessly.

*******************************************

“Before I tell you the reports, allow me to ask how much these reports meant for you…”

God knows how much time passed, but he was startled when the nurse came and informed him  that the reports had come and the doctor was looking for him. He sat, wiped his face, caressed his Naina’s face and hairs, kissed her forehead and hand and then left slowly. Though scared and extremely nervous, he tried to hold his last ounce of strength and hope. But as he sat before the doctor and even before the reports she asked him that, his heart shivered violently.

“Doctor… mujhe sirf meri Naina chahiye pehli si, smiling, muskurati huyi… pta hai doctor, hamari shadi ko sirf teen mahine huye hai, aur in teen mahino me bhut kuch dekha hai humne saath me… kabhi hum roye, hum lade-jhagde, aur kabhi hase, khushiyan baanti… uski ek smile se meri puri duniya roshan ho jati thi… har waqt ek sapna sa tha mere liye… aur aj aisa lag rha hai ki sab kuch pichhe chhut rha hai…”

He paused for a moment and then said again,”doctor mere pass parivaar ke naam pr jyada koi nahi, pr usne wo sab kami jaise ek jhatke me dur kar di…doctor, mai bhut pyar karta hu usse, meri zindagi hai wo… use khona toh dur mai ek chhoti si taklif me bhi nhi dekh sakta, aur aj ye sab… aj mai janta hu ki aapko lag rha hoga ki mai ek careless husband hu, aur mai inkaar bhi nhi karunga… lekin ye kahunga ki chahe doctor Dipti ho ya fr aap… koi bhi insaan doctors ko bhagwan samjhta hai, bharosa karta hai… mera yhi bharosa aj uski sazaa ban gyi hai… doctor aap jo bolengi mai karunga, jha kahengi use lekar jaunga, please aap…. please meri Naina ko thik kar dijiye…”, he said helplessly, and joined his hands before her.

God knows why he said or rather blabbered all this, but talking about the past, one could easily notice the stars in her eyes and talking about the present his eyes got misty in a moment. Perhaps he wanted to vent out the grief. This time his heart was so much in pain that even the breathing seemed a luxury.

Thankfully the doctor understood his pain, neither she interrupted him, nor asked anything more and with a long breath started to say.

“Don’t worry Mr. Maheshwari, she will get the best available treatment… jo kahi bahar ho sakta hai, wo yaha bhi hoga… so…”, the doctor said and looked into the report for some minutes and said again.

“Well, Mr. Maheshwari, good news ye hai ki unke most of the organs like heart, kidneys, digestion and respiratory system, all are working fine. I mean thodi bahut problem hai, but it’s all curable, not to worry at all… “

Though he knew that it’s not all, but sighed in relief instantly.

While after a soft pause, the doctor started again,”Mr. Maheshwari… jo ye dono pills hai, inko bhut tactfully, bahut soch samajh ke plant kiya gaya tha… I mean doctor Dipti… most probably she deliberately wanted to destroy her reproduction system, so most affected part wahi hai…”

Sameer bit his lips, gulped a big lump, sensing the fear of his heart coming true and sat straight.

Doctor Shruti too took a long breath and said again,”abhi unka uterus kafi wounded hai, jiski complete healing me I guess approx three months ka time lagega… umm, I mean complete healing me… matlab you can lead your married life normally after one week or so, but…”

“But…”,he asked anxiously.

“See, Mr. Maheshwari… ye jo aisi drug ya medicines hoti hai, life me aur human body me jate jate kafi stains chhod ke jati hai… lekin abhi kaun sa stain permanent hai aur kaun sa nahi, ye kahna kafi jaldi hoga…”, doctor said in a soft voice.

“Kya matlab doctor…”,he asked impatiently.

“Matlab kuch stains waqt ke saath fade… umm, I mean kuch problems waqt ke saath chali jayengi, kuch jaldi toh kuch thode jyada time me lekin abhi unki uterus ki jo condition hai…”,she paused for a moment that felt like an whole eternity for him.

Sameer shifted uncomfortably in his seat when the doctor started again,”Mr. Maheshwari, I am afraid ki abhi unka uterus is condition me nahi ki wo conceive kar sake… waqt ke saath ye situation change hogi, lekin kitni aur kab… ye mai abhi nahi kah sakti… probably she can conceive in future and probably not too… so, you have to stay strong to face this…”

Sameer was completely out of focus. He didn’t know what to say. His heart pounded and pounded again before settling down, his whole body shook badly and broke down in cold sweat. His eyes widened, then blurred his vision. He tried to get up and go to her, but all his strength gave up, his knees refused to support his weight and he stumbled badly.

Doctor stood up from her chair, but before she could do anything, he sat down in chair, wiped his face and heaved some deep breaths.

“Khud ko sambhaliye Mr. Maheshwari… halaki situation ideal nahi hai, lekin mujhe lagta hai abhi kuch bhi decide kar lena jaldi hai…”, doctor tried to console him.

Sameer nodded, suddenly reached for the water glass on the table, gulped down the whole water in one breath and said in a low tone,”doctor, mai nahi chahta ki use ye sab pata chale…”

“Okay… as you wish, but I suggest ki unhe bta dijiye… waqt ke saath waise bhi pta chal jayega… pta rehne se treatment continue karne me asaani hogi…”, the doctor softly said with her experience.

“Mai dekhta hu doctor… lekin abhi toh nhi…”,he said and got up to leave, but suddenly remembered something and asked again,”doctor Naina ko kab tak yha rehna padega…”

“Ohh… jyada nahi… most probably aj raat bas… kuch jaruri medicines infusion hai.. isse unke womb ki healing fast hogi…”,she replied in a kind professional tone.

“Ji doctor…”

Sameer replied and left to go to her room. He knew that he had to go home once, if they had to stay overnight here in hospital, but at the same time he didn’t want to leave her alone. He thought to call Munna and Swati, but himself rejected the idea, remembering that Swati was pregnant. He pinched his eyebrows, tried to think straight and after thinking for a while decided to call Nisha.

Though she was an employee but an experienced kund woman too. And also He had to discuss some office work too, so that everything would run smoothly for Nanu. He called Nisha, and she came after 20 minutes.

“Naina ko kya hua sir…”,she asked worriedly as soon as saw him.

“Nisha di, aap thodi der yha rukiye Naina ke saath, mai ghar jaakar aata hu… Nanu ka routine dekhna hai aur shayad kuch chize lani padengi… Naina ko hosh aaye to kahiyega mai bas aadhe ghante me aaya…”, he didn’t reply her question, perhaps didn’t want to repeat all those words of pain and left slowly giving her instructions and kissing his Naina’s forehead.

******************************************

“Naina thik hai Nanu… usje reports bhi sab normal hai… matlab jyadatar… wo aj bas wha… kal aa jayegi wo ghar… wo thik hai Nanu, aap… aap fikar mat karna, bas apna… apna khyal rakhna… ummm, thoda time lagega complete… complete healing me… pr wo 2-3 mahine me puri tarah thik ho jayegi… doctor ne bola… wo thik hai Nanu…”

Sameer came house, asked Kanchan di to pack necessary things for her, and stood before Nanu to inform him about the recent situation but he stammered badly just as he opened his mouth.

Nanu saw him deeply, didn’t say anything but just pulled his arms and embrace him tightly in himself. His embrace was so kind and warm that even after controlling hard, he broke down so desperately.

“Nanu….”,he cried out like a small kid and mumbled along with tears,”Nanu… meri Naina… wo… uske saath… uske saath hi q hua ye… kya… kahunga mai usse… aur kaise… Nanu mai…”,he cried helplessly complaining and shouting sobbing like a small kid.

Nanu softly patted his back only, neither ask to stop, nor demand any details, but just softly caressed his back and hairs. After a while, when his condition was slightly better, nanu said softly,”kaafi der ho gyi hai Sameer, Naina tera intezaar kar rahi hogi… “

Sameer too realised, quickly wiped his face and looked at Nanu anxiously.

“Mai thik hu beta… bas tu himmat bnaye rakhna, rasta kafi lamba hai…”, Nanu replied taking the hint of worry in his eyes.

Sameer nodded, decided to be strong and leave with some spare cloths, and a lunch of nutritious soup and vegetable dalia for her.

**********************************************

“Naina…”,she was already up, when he reached to the hospital.

He stood near the window for some moments, saw her little chirpie birdie talking and laughing endlessly to Nisha di. She was quite well and in a good condition now. He smiled unknowingly even after all the pain of his heart and strode towards her taking her name loudly.

Naina looked at him and smiled brightly. But next moment blushed profusely as without caring about Nisha or the nurse, he sat before her and hugged her tightly. She was stunned, tried to push him away, but no vain, he was stronger.

“Sameer… Nisha di…”,she softly whispered trying to infuse some sense in his handicapped brain.

“Hm… kaisi ho ab… dard toh nahi…”,he didn’t reacted much but cupping her cheeks carefully, asked her.

“Abhi toh bilkul thik hu… yha q rakha hai ab tak, mujhe ghar jana hai…”,she replied and whined.

“Hmm… jayenge… acha tum 5 minute rest karo mai Nisha di ko kaam samjha ke aata hu…”,he said and asked her to lie down before leaving.

Nisha di had already left the cabin seeing them intimated, and waited outside of the room. Sameer came out, he instructed and explained about the upcoming challenges of life to her.

“Nisha di… kuch time ke liye no new projects… nanu ne kha hai ki wo sab handle karenge, but make sure ki un par koi exertion naa ho… major paperwork sab mai ghar pr hi kar dunga aur jab tak extreme condition naa ho tab rak koi meeting mat rakhiyega… baki wo Tribhuvan ka mai dekhta hu kya karna hai… but I am trusting and depending on you this time…”,he gave her all fye necessary instructions.

“Don’t worry sir… I will try my best… “,she explained and got up to leave, then suddenly remembered something and said,”sir, aap office kab aayenge… aapse kuch jaruri baat karni hai…”

“Kya hua Nisha di… aapko chhutti chahiye ya paise… boliye na kya baat hai…”,he frowned but softly asked her.

Nahi sir wo nahi… anyways, itni bhi jaruri nahi, aap office aayenge toh baat ho jayegi…”,she replied softly.

Sameer nodded and she left, though she wanted to ask about Naina’s condition, but seeing him ao aggrieved couldn’t dare so, left wishing a good luck.

“Sameer, mujhe kya hua hai…”

It seemed like he stepped in endless battle that every moment was a new struggle. As soon as he stepped again in the room, and tried to feed her that soup, she asked even before the first gulp.

Sameer heaved a deep breath, thought for a moment and replied,”Naina, tum jo dawai itne time se continue le rahi thi naa, usse kuch complications ho gye the… lekin ab sab thik hai…”

Though he couldn’t say everything, but decided to inject the truth bit by bit.

Perhaps instinctively, but she instantly touched her belly and asked,”kya complications Sameer… mujhe thik se btaiye, sab… sab thik hai naa… mai… mai thik hu naa…”, her voice trembled slightly.

“Haa sweetheart, bilkul thik ho, lekin tumhara patidev jyada der tak nahi rahega… samjha karo yaar, bhuk lagi hai…”,he tried to say in a cheerful tone and perhaps sucessful too, but forgot that she knew to read his eyes.

Though she looked at him suspiciously for a long time, but fortunately didn’t ask anything more and opened her mouth to take the sip of next spoonful of soup.

Sameer sighed in relief, but failed to notice that she wringed her fingers together, bit her lips and secretly clutched the seams of his t-shirt tightly, perhaps her heart felt something, and she felt an unknown fear piercing its claws in her heart.

********************************************

Haash…. Finally they left the hospital next day. Doctor didn’t prescribe a long list of medicines, but just gave two pills to reduce the effect of medicine and side effect of stopping that suddenly. But till now, sameer had accepted the situation, though his soul was soaked in grief but now he had drown this grief down in his heart and vowed not to mention it again.

Although he had decided to tell her everything himself, but for now pushed it for later, at least after her exams.

Time flew like blink of an eye and she was recovering well under loving care of Sameer. He stayed at home most of the time and took care of her like a delicate flower. Under his delicate care she bloomed and glowed like a charming princess again. Nanu was taking care of business and he was doing all  the major paper work and meetings. For other things, Nanu had already asked someone to investigate secretly both Tribhuvan and Dipti.

Her exams started and now about to end too. Behind these hectic study schedules, excited preparations for Kamya and Preeti’s marriage.  Everything seemed fine, but when water seemed still on surface, it’s an alarm of major hurricanes.

Her last exam was two days later and she was studying spreading all her notes on the balcony floor bed. Sameer was doing his paperwork on a side. The scene looked complete serene and tranquil, filling their hearts with satisfaction of eternal love in life.

Suddenly Sameer saw the time and said to her,”Nainu… ab rest karo… bhut der ho gayi hai… baki syllabus kal… abhi do din hai tumhare paas…”

She frowned and made a pout, but he refuted with a bit strict humm and she got up and started to arrange her papers. Sameer saw her, kept his file down, smiled and went in room to prepare her night medicines and bring a water bottle from downstairs.

*********************************************

Next morning was blissful, with beautiful colours of morning and their blazing passion. Though doctor had allowed but Sameer didn’t initiated or dare to make love to her after that day, but it’s unimaginable to stay away from her. His every day, in fact both of their day started with looking and mingling into each other.

Sameer kissed her feverishly struggling with hot urges of his body. She too whined and whimpered, writhing in passion. Their hands touched each other everywhere, but they both restrained themselves in last moment.

“Sameer…”, Naina sighed and looked at him deeply responding on his every touch.

“Nainu… bas do din… “,he replied as a sigh and hide her in himself.

“Unhmm..”,she whined and pinched his waist protesting at his wierd restrictions on themselves that they would not do it during her exams.

Sameer smiled but didn’t leave her but they both lied hugging eachother for a long time.

********************************************

“Oh God… wo grey file kha gyi…”, Sameer was going for an important meeting, when suddenly in the way he noticed a file missing and exclaimed loudly.

“Kamal wapas chal…”,if it’s any other file, he may not go back risking the meeting schedule, but the file, that was lost, was actually her original medical reports. And his heart was sending a bad signal to him again and again.

Though he didn’t want to keep the file at home, but sending it in the office seemed more risky. Nanu advised him to keep it in factory’s exclusive executive locker, but he didn’t get chance to go there recently, and as today’s meeting was near the factory, he decided to keep it there and that’s why, last night brought out it from his locker at home and took it with him. But now it’s lost.

“Naina…. Naina….”,he entered in the house shouting his name like a mad man.

“Kya hua… q chilla raha hai…”, Nanu saw him looking bewildered and tensed alarmed by something.

“Naina kha…”,he wanted to ask, but suddenly his heart jumped in mouth seeing that file kept with her notes on the table.

“Naina… Naina kha hai Nanu…”,he asked as noticed the file, his heart was lurching, but didn’t know whether she had read it or not.

He asked anxiously praying in his heart that she didn’t read it.

Before Nanu could reply, he saw her descending from the stairs with a pile of washed and dried cloths. She looked at him, frowned, but then asked slowly,”aap fr se… kuch bhul gye kya…”

Sameer observed her keenly and didn’t reply, instead his eyes moved and fell on the file. Naina followed his eyes and saw that file from corner of her eyes. She didn’t say anything, but just kept the clothes on couch, and strode forward. Sameer didn’t understand, but his heart convulsed, started to give a positive signal and he sighed slowly in heart following her moves still.

Naina walked towards dining table, though nothing unusual, but he felt something was not good with her movements. Suddenly she poured water in glass, mumbled something inaudible, and lifted the glass to drink the water. His eyes widened seeing her incoherent movement. Her hands shivering badly that almost shaking. Water poured out of glass, somehow managing with both hands, she sipped up the water, but more than her mouth, it spilled on her face and neck.

“Naina…”,he dared to call her name softly, but seemed like it went unheard at all.

“Naina… “,he tried again, but finishing her water, and murmuring something inaudible, she walked towards the kitchen.

“Naina…”,this time he didn’t call but pulled her holding her arm and hugged her tightly and said,”Naina… kuch nahi hai…”

“Jhooooot hai….”,in the very moment, her heart wrenching loud scream resonated in the mansion and shook every corner of it.

“Sameer… chhodiye… chhodiye mujhe….”,she trembled and struggled badly in his arms.

She was so violent or aggressive this time that he was having difficult time to hold her. In struggles, they both slipped on ground.

Kanchan di and Radhe came running listening that scream and a file slipped from Nanu’s hand. But this time no one dare to make even a alightes sound. But soon gaining her concious kanchan asked Radhe to accompany Nanu and herself she went back in kitchen, leaving the couple alone.

“Q kiya… q jhut bola…”,she screamed again, holding his collars and jolting him badly.

“Nainu… kuch nahi hai…”,he mumbled tried to calm him.

“Haiii…. Kuch haiiiiiiiiiiii Sameer…. Kuch haiiiiiiii…”,she shouted again.

Sameer was struggling hard to control her, but next moment was even more heart piercing. She lifted her hands and slapped herself hard.

“Naina…”,he shouted, tried to hold her, but she repeated it. His heart ached impeccably again.

She struggled, slapped herself and pulled her hairs. No matter how much he tried to control her she kept scratching herself, slapping herself and pulling her hairs. The more she behaved crazily, the more his heart filled with excruciating pain In all this neither her screams came down, nor her questions. And her tears kept soaking his shirt like pouring rains.

“Jhut q kha….”

“Q nhi btaya….”

“Mai….”

“Sab khatam ho gya Sameer….”

She shouted again and again and kept hurting herself. Suddenly he hold her hands, jolted her and shouted,”Naina… bas karo… pagal ho gyi ho kya…”

“Haaaaaa…. Ho gyi hu mai pagal… pagal ho gyi hu…”,she screamed and broke in tears.

“Sameer… mai… mai…”,she screamed but next moment her heart piercing wails shook the entire house.

“Naina… bas karo jaan…”,he tried to calm her, but his own eyes spilled vigoursly.

God knows how much time passed, but after a long time, she fainted and fell feebly on him and he lifted and took her in the room.

Slowly he placed her in bed. Though his heart was bleeding, but somehow he managed to apply ointment on her scratched face and hands. Then he couldn’t take it more. But got up and leave the room anxiously finding a loneliness to vent out his pain. Perhaps, it became his biggest mistake, coz after 5-10 or maximum 15 minutes when he came back, the door was locked.

His heart took a dip in anxiety and came up with numerous bad hunches.

“Naina ne darwaza q band kiya…” He whispered and knocked the door anxiously hailing her name loudly.