5. Advancing through the Seasons.

Rei's coughs are wet and sick, and they don't stop for a long, long while.

Most of the time when they start, he sits down, and waits it out. It takes a while, but he's good at waiting, so that's fine. Sometimes, there's blood. Other times, perhaps he'd say goodbye to lunch and breakfast. Most of the time, it's just dry heaving.

It's all a measure of how awful his day is going to get. It's like a game, but he can't see the health bar, and his daily remaining health is different each morning. Let's say that, on a good day blessed by the gods above that hate him, he's allowed to start at 6 HP.

Yep, it's like a dice roll.

Except it's 6 as the maximum out of a hundred.

"I rolled a 1 today, huh..." Rei mumbles, "why do I have, like, the worst gacha luck ever?"

(Well, it's fine. It's not like he's died from a bad morning before.)

"Rei-kun, we're having a Family Vs Battle with Dino-san," Tsuna calls from outside the window, "you don't have to come if you don't want to, but I'm gonna ask anyway, are you coming?"

How do they have so much energy? It's barely the New Year.

Sae and Sui are off with Kuma-sensei, visiting extended family or something, so Rei has the house to himself as the child that physically can't handle the travel. He has no idea where Dad is, but that's normal.

Rei opens his window and sighs, resting a hand against his cheek as he leans his heavy head against the window.

"I'll go later," he says, "you'll be at the riverbank?"

"Are you still in your pajamas?! It's noon—" Tsuna freezes. "REI-KUN IS THAT BLOOD?!"

It got on his sleeve.

"It's tomato juice."

"Did you really think that excuse will work on me?!"

Instead of Tsuna, it's Reborn that comes up to the window, inviting himself in to inspect. Rei can't help but chuckle as the infant leaps up the building like a cat, defying all logics of nature, and then starts scrutinizing his room as if there'd be a threat inside.

"You dying, punk?" Reborn asks.

Rei doesn't know if this is a trick question. "You're a little late on your information source. Everyone in town knows about the ticking time bomb, Ninomiya Rei is."

He sighs, reaching for the tissues to try and absorb some of the blood on his sleeve. If this stains his favourite jacket he's going to be so upset...

"I'll head out after washing up," Rei says, "you guys can go have fun first... ah, right. There are red packets on the table, Reborn. You can have one."

Reborn frowns. "What is it?"

"Otoshidama."

"You are not old enough to give New Year's Money."

"If you don't want it—"

"I didn't say that. It's still mine, I'm just questioning your intentions."

Rei smiles. Reborn isn't the type to chase answers for things he's not interested in, so Rei is genuinely feeling a little flattered.

He supposed honesty is the best policy right now.

"I just want to change the subject, of course," Rei admits. Drinking some water, he sighs in content. "Tsuna's coming upstairs soon. Ask him to make you an espresso or something, why don't you?"

(Don't look at me like that.)

(Like I'm some poor little creature that needs to be cradled and protected.)

(I know mortality more than anyone else.)

Reborn doesn't say anything else, so Rei takes that as his cue to start changing into comfortable clothing.

Rei doesn't understand the fuss, honestly.

Survival of the fittest. In her past, that was the code that they lived for. So even if Rei was weak and fragile, he had ways to escape and survive, because he understood that no one existed just to be protected. No one was obliged to protect him, ever or at all, and thus—

"Hey, you," Reborn says, "I'll have you know, even Yakuza clans will fight tooth and nail to protect the lady of the house."

Ah crap. He forgot that this is one mind-reading (not literal) infant.

Rei chuckles. "What are you talking about, all of a sudden?"

"You're thinking you're a burden, right? So you're trying to capitalize on your strengths and hide your weaknesses so they won't be used against you," Reborn says, "I know. I've seen your type around more often than you can think."

Rei doesn't look at him.

"Traditionally, the women of the family don't fight," Reborn says. "The missus, the mother of the clan, the daughters, the household subordinates— they are highly valued and veiled under the family's namesake, whether they are a fighter or not. No one questions why they are protected. Do you understand why?"

Rei raises a brow.

"...because traditionally... women are seen as weaker?"

"You're going to get shot in the head if you say that in the world of mafia," Reborn grins, raising a finger gun in his direction. "But you're not wrong– those standard expectations existed, and still exist today. Women take the domestic work, men take the field work— that's the norm. But you're the opposite, and people like you aren't exactly uncommon either in this day and age."

Rei and Haru have similar skills in gymnastic expertise. Rei's father, Yuuichirou, and Nana have the same ability to create a safe space for lost children. It's all about how they use this strength, and what they prefer to do alongside it.

(Rei shudders at the memory of the crew going on a crusade simply because Maman's wallet was stolen by some small-time punks.)

People that need protection will always exist. And they have their own ways to survive.

It's not as if Tsuna is lording over his guardians with overwhelming strength or leadership, either. At the very least, Yamamoto— who dwarfs him in talent, charisma, and raw power— clearly doesn't follow him for that reason.

Tsuna has his own strengths that he hasn't realized yet, but Reborn is helping him utilize to the fullest, and thus Tsuna, who's still weak and no-good, can survive as a member of this highly competitive environment.

(Albeit, it's against his will. But that's not important.)

"It's simple, really," Reborn says, "the physically strong are enslaved by the aspect of a warm home and delicious food, and only the physically weak were smart enough to weaponize that in exchange for an easy life. People aren't perfect— everyone has limits, and you won't find someone who's good at everything. That's why communities are formed to create a respectful symbiotic relationship."

The Arcobaleno, in itself, are formed of seven hitmen that primarily operate alone. They do not need to work in a community to gain their reputation.

But there's a reason they've never explicitly denied their positions as a unity of seven.

There is power in a community, even if it's just a name, and only the ones that know how to utilize it can survive in this world.

Even Gokudera understands this— he obeys Maman's orders without a second thought, because he knows that without her, the peace of the family will be majorly jeopardized.

Even Gokudera understands that as an illegitimate child, even after working hard enough to be acknowledged as 'Smokin' Bomb Hayato', he will ultimately amount to nothing if he does not hold onto his position as a member of the Vongola.

"We're not protecting Maman, the girls, and the kids, because they're weak," Reborn says, "we protect them because they are, first of all, capable of doing things we can't, and second of all, personally valuable to someone we do not want to upset. And that, in itself, is a 'strength' that only they are capable of wielding."

It's survival.

But a different kind of survival to what Rei is familiar with.

Sometimes, a princess locked in a tower is perfectly fine as she is, meekly waiting for a prince. She is not a broken, harmful stereotype just for needing aid in life, because what purpose do the knights' strength have, if it wasn't to help the weak and helpless?

Even a character like that has a purpose in the world they were put in, and the story cannot begin without her.

(Surely, one day, Rei will find the jigsaw puzzle he belongs in, too.)

"You've earned yourself a place in that category, Rei," Reborn says. "Consider it an honour. You have the power to destroy anything you don't like— you just have to tell us, and we'd all take up arms and help you just like we helped Maman."

It's the power of influence.

The power of communication.

Rei feels honoured, of course. That's a tremendous honour, to be told by the greatest hitman in the world that he is important and valued. It's embarrassing, really.

"Don't tempt me," Rei says, pouting as he turns away. "I'm in this group of nonsense, but I want to be the most insignificant piece in this puzzle. I can't contribute in charisma or manpower, I'll stay on the sidelines. Let's keep it that way. I don't want any kind of influence on you guys, either. You guys are the most reckless dumbasses I've ever met, and I don't want any of you getting hurt for the stupidest endeavours known to man. "

"Oh, so you imply that you do have someone you want us to fight," Reborn hums, ignoring the entire rest of the sentence, and Rei balks at his slip-up. "You could even ask us to fight the sun, you know? I'm sure we'd find a way."

Rei laughs. "You're probably going to stuff Tsuna in a cannon and aim toward the sky, so please don't."

"You're wrong. I'd do it to Lambo, because he'd come home after a while. Tsuna would get lost on the way home, and that's a pain in the ass because I need to train him into a Mafia boss as soon as possible."

"Reborn, when you say it so seriously it doesn't sound like a joke..."

"Because it's not?"

"Alright, enough!" Rei claps loudly to himself. "Get out! I need to change!"

He tosses the infant right out and closes the door.

"Oh, and Reborn?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

Reborn chuckles, clearly hiding a smug glance under his fedora. "Consider it repayment for the Otoshidama."

Rei kicks the door right back open.

"You little thief! Did you take Lambo and I-pin's portions, too? Even a lion knows how to share with their young!"

"Oh, that's great. I'm not a lion."

-

"Seriously?"

Kunomasu Kazumasa, more affectionately known as 'Kuma-sensei' to the general public of Namimori town, glares at the sight before him.

"Oooh! Good timing!" Takeshi beams, throwing his hands into the air. "KUMA-SENSEIII! Help us out here, we need a doctor!"

Tsuna's crew associating with suspicious adult men in black isn't surprising considering their track record, neither is Rei in the midst of all this. What is surprising, is the wooden paddle Rei is holding, and the blood on its edge. There are dramatic sprays of deep red across the ground, and he finds the source very easily— Dino Cavallone, sprawled on the ground, whining loudly as he lays flat on his back.

"No, you don't need a doctor. Y'all need Jesus. And a lawyer."

"Is Jesus a lawyer?" Takeshi asks.

"No, he's a carpenter," Gokudera answers.

"In my defense," Rei says, pouting, "he missed the ball, stepped on it, tripped, rolled, and headbutted the edge of my hagoite himself. I didn't do anything. I am innocent!"

"I am the witness..." Dino whimpers. "Can the victim be the witness, usually?"

Kuma-sensei stares, exasperated. "I wouldn't know. The only lawyer in my family ran off into the twilight with the man of her dreams."

Reborn cheerfully dictates the match from his pedestal. "I guess the winner of the Hanetsuki battle is Rei! Congrats, you got us some points, Rei, good going."

Kuma-sensei crunches the cigarette between his teeth and spits it out in disgust.

"Fuck's sake. What the hell," he says. "Can't you associate with a less frustrating crowd, Rei? They're bad for your health."

Rei sticks his tongue out at him. "You're bad for my health, oldie!"

-

"So it's gotten worse, huh..." Kuma-sensei sighs, bonking Rei over the head with the clipboard. "Looks like I'll have to up your prescriptions..."

Rei hums, pulling his shirt back on before shrugging on his sweater. He fixes the position of the bobby pins in his hair, scrutinizing himself in the mirror, not quite satisfied.

Kuma-sensei puts down the stethoscope, looks through the worrying medical scans and documents, and frowns at the computer screen.

Kuma-sensei really doesn't get Rei for checkups as often as he should. Rei likes it that way, but he's also not too assured by the way Kuma-sensei looks more and more distressed by what he finds, each time.

He's not usually an expressive person, this doctor.

Rei thinks he shouldn't mention that, though.

"If you're done with my checkup, I'm going to go," Rei says, pulling on another jacket. It's snowing outside and this is hardly enough, even including gloves. "The others invited me to a snowfight at school."

"Don't—"

"I know, I know, don't join them," Rei says. "I'm just supervising Sae and Sui. I'll be drinking hot chocolate with Romario-san at the side. Promise."

Kuma-sensei sighs audibly, maybe for the hundredth time.

So, Rei changes the subject. "You giving me the new prescriptions after I'm done with my old ones, or—"

"I'll give them to you tomorrow. Don't bother with the old ones, they're clearly not working," he says. "You taking any painkillers recently? The ones I said you could take whenever it gets too bad?"

"Been taking them for the last week or so, why?"

"And they're working? Good. Keep taking those. Ditch the rest."

"Gotcha... wait, I thought you said I'll die if I take too many of them?"

"That applies to every medicine in the world."

"...okay?"

"What's stronger, your medicine or your illness?" Kuma-sensei challenges.

And Rei hesitantly answers, "my illness... is that how it works?"

"Of course not," he says, and Rei wonders why he even bothers talking with this asshole. "Your illness doesn't make sense, and I've given up on using common sense to fight it. Just go with whatever works."

Rei huffs. He supposes that's fair.

Kuma-sensei stands up, reaching for something in his closet. "Before you go. You can never have too many layers, so put this on too."

Rei watches, conflicted, as Kuma-sensei wraps the soft fabric around his neck, gently winding it around before tying it, so expertly, secured and neat.

The scarf is almost black, dark blue in the light, and a little worn out. He can tell by the little embroidered bear stitched into the side, threads falling apart.

"What a lame scarf," Rei says.

He lifts his head after the jibe, but to his surprise, Kuma-sensei's face is scrunched up, eyes furrowed, lips pulled tight. Full of conflict, so strained with a sad hesitation— his hands only waver for a second before proceeding with his work.

Kuma-sensei forces that painfully firm expression into a heartbroken smile. His eyes never wander, and though they look right at Rei, they don't seem to meet.

(Kuma-sensei's hands are foreign to this action.)

(To this action of 'putting a scarf on someone else'.)

(Yet, they do so well, like he's been preparing all his life to do this. Like he's practiced this motion so many times, yet he's never gotten to do it before.)

(It's an action full of care, his hands fueled with love. And yet, Rei can't help but feel he's not the recipient. Kuma-sensei's heart craves someone else, someone that he was never able to do all this for.)

"Yeah, it's really not your style, you little teenage dumbass," he says. "But reckless little idiots that don't know how to keep warm? They don't get to complain when other people dress them against their will. Deal with it."

He ruffles Rei's hair roughly before shoving him out the door.

"There now. Watch the road as you go."

Rei sighs. "Why are you acting like my dad?"

Kuma-sensei hollers through the closed door. "Yuuichirou can go fucking die in a ditch!"

"Why do you hold a grudge on my dad for being absent more than I do??"

Rei gets no answer.

He eats his pride and wears the lame scarf. It smells of a cologne that strangely differs from what Kuma-sensei usually wears, and it's a nice fragrance. It's really warm, too.

(He can't for the life of him remember where he's seen it before.)

(But well, that doesn't matter.)

-

"Strange."

Reborn looks through an array of information in the Disciplinary Office. The snowfight is happening outside.

Hibari had been contemplating chasing him out, but the information interested him.

"You're not allowed to go through student records," Hibari simply says, reading it all anyways. It's not like Hibari's using the desk for anything, anyways.

Reborn doesn't pay that much mind. "Rei doesn't have a legal mother, not even in his hospital birth records," he says. "This is unusual."

Hibari raises a brow at that. Sure, it's not common, but he wouldn't call it unusual.

"But he has a birth record here. Which means he was born in this town... so it's impossible for them to not have the name of the birth mother. Even if he was abandoned, there's no reason to remove the name of the woman that received maternal care in that time period. It would be a different matter if it was erased or the documents were missing, or it was a Jane Doe, but it's just empty instead," Reborn frowns. "Unless these records are forged, and he wasn't born in this town at all... why go through so much effort?"

It doesn't specifically matter that Rei was or wasn't born in Namimori. Someone had gone through some effort to make sure that he at least looked like he did, and that could only mean one thing.

Something about Rei is being hidden.

"It's not about Ninomiya Rei," Hibari sighs, placing down the papers. "I don't know why you are investigating him, nor do I care. But the Ninomiya Family only settled into this town fourteen years ago. There is nothing you can find about them here."

That's almost exactly how old Rei is.

(What happened all those years ago, on May 1st?)

"I see," Reborn understands immediately. "It isn't Rei's identity that is being forged here."

He picks up a picture. It's of the Ninomiya Family, father, son, and two daughters.

"...it's the entire family," Reborn deems. "More specifically... the father. Ninomiya Yuuichirou artificially created a family record here, in order to hide something."

Reborn can imagine it.

He can imagine it.

Reborn can imagine a scenario, a theory— it's wild and nonsensical, right out of some cliche that's been seen one too many times.

Reborn can imagine, maybe Ninomiya Yuuichirou too, lives in the underworld, and thirteen years ago, he forged a new identity for himself in this very same town, deciding to settle down, desperate to separate himself from this darkness.

And the reason? Something cheesy, perhaps... he had probably wanted his child to live a normal life. As a civilian.

(People don't just escape from the underworld. It's just not possible. You don't just 'quit' the mafia. But this guy has managed to do it, somehow.)

(Until now. Because Reborn has just found a mistake in his forgery, and Rei has been dragged into the underworld anyways. How unfortunate.)

Alas, this is just a scenario, just a theory.

Maybe Reborn's thinking too much. It's too far-fetched. Ninomiya Yuuichirou is an unsuspecting househusband, that's all it is... right?

(Sometimes, he wishes his instincts weren't so sharp. )

Reborn beckons Leon to him, and hops from the table to the door. He has places to be, a curiosity to satiate, and little time to waste.

Hibari lifts his head when he goes.

Reborn answers the unasked question. "Oh, don't worry. If things go the way we'd both like it, the peace of Namimori will hardly be rustled."

Hibari frowns. He has no idea what the hell that means, because he cannot read minds, and cryptid not-infants are so fucking annoying.

He sighs, looking out the window to the fervent idiots throwing snowballs at each other.

"Suddenly, I want to arbitrarily hit a bunch of targets," he mutters. "I suppose I'll make those herbivores down there my targets for today..."

-

"Look, Rei!" Yamamoto comes to him with all the exuberance of a child that received multiple gifts, "the kid gave me a bat and it turns into a sword when I swing it fast enough!"

"That's great. Dera just started up the incinerator out back. Go throw it in there."

Yamamoto laughs at that.

Rei gives it a skeptical side glance. "Don't you already have something like that?"

They're in the Asarigumi Dojo, and Yamamoto's dressed well in traditional hakama as he trains. The Shigure Kintoki is displayed upon the wall, and the straw targets are sliced cleanly in a diagonal streak.

"I can't use that one in the Mafia game unless dad gives me permission," Yamamoto says. "Remember how mad he got when I used it in a duel with Mochida-senpai?"

"Yeah, I wanted to punch you for that one too, what were you thinking?"

"Hey, he's the one that challenged me for Kyoko's hand or something. I just took his challenge. Like, a man, or something," he says. "And you know I give all challenge games a hundred percent effort."

"And that explains why Mochida's so humble now..."

"Now, now," Yamamoto snakes an arm around Rei's shoulder. "Thanks for always keeping me company while I train, Rei."

Rei sighs, leaning against the pillar of the traditional Japanese dojo. Things are peaceful, but he knows bitterly that it won't last for long. He has no idea how much time has passed, but they're entering their second year now, and this is where things truly begin for this series.

Soon, conflicts will occur, and Tsuna's life— and by extension Rei's, too— will be turned completely upside down.

He's not sure if he's ready for it.

(But then again, when is he ever ready for anything?)

"Rei-chan has been found!"

Rei perks up at the call, finding Lambo on the wall. He spreads his arms just in time for Lambo to leap in victoriously.

"Lambo wins the find-Rei contest! Lambo-san is the winner!" he proudly declares, and I-pin shows up half a moment later on the same wall to wail in despair.

"Oh dear," Rei takes the child in his arms, reaching out to offer to catch I-pin as well— but Lambo whines and I-pin pridefully refuses and now he's in a tough spot. He sighs, resigned. "Seems like you won, Lambo-san. What's the prize?"

"Lambo gets all of Rei to himself today!"

"What?!" I-pin exclaims.

"Awh shucks, he got him first!" Sae whines, coming around the corner with a lunchbox. "Bummer, bummer!"

Sui trails behind them, not particularly bothered about losing. "A deal is a deal."

"What? No fair," Yamamoto joins in, wrapping his arms around Rei's shoulders to pout at Lambo, "I was supposed to have Rei all to myself today!"

"Nuh-uh! He's mine now!"

"So I just have absolutely no say in this matter?" Rei asks, dryly, and predictably, he's just completely ignored. "Seriously?"

"Sui will be claiming Takeshi-nii," claims Sui as she sits down, tuckering herself a spot on Takeshi's lap and looking awfully proud of it despite her usually blank expressions. "Sui has claimed Takeshi-nii."

"What." Takeshi turns to her, a hand still on Rei's shoulder, putting on an incredibly sincere pout. "Well then. I've been claimed."

"What?! No fair!" Sae whines.

"No fair! No fair!" I-pin echoes.

All things considered, this is peaceful. And that's enough for Rei.

-

Rei's nightmares never change. He knows what's going to happen each time he finds himself in it, and yet, no matter what he does, nothing ever changes.

He's always walking down an alley.

And it doesn't matter if he walks down, runs down, turns around, or even tries to scale the walls—

—in an instant the ground beneath him will dissolve into black sludge, and he will fall into it, unable to grasp anything. It will snag him by his ankle and drag him into the thick, watery depths, and then—

—and then he'll slowly sink further, and further away from the light.

If he looks down, the depths are beautiful. Even though it's dark, he sees the corals and fishes clear, and they swim around him in shoals of fascinating colours. They glisten and flutter, and it's so morbidly peaceful, he's enchanted.

And just when he's found himself enchanted by the sight—

—he will be shrouded by Drew Cite's arms, and she will cup his face within her hands, and she will bring him to her side.

In the depths of the waters, her eyes are bloodshot, broken, and crying tears so deeply scarlet. There are scars on her face, a split lip and eyes clawed to a semblance of clown makeup, and by her deeply wedged and calloused fingers he knows, she'd done it all with her own nails.

And she demands, her voice hollow, so deep, so furious.

"Give it back to me."

Rei cannot breathe. Cannot scream. Cannot tear away.

"Give it back to me. Give it BACK! GIVE IT BACK!"

She screams. Over and over. And over.

"Why are you happy? Why do you get to be happy?"

All Rei wanted was to live his life with his sisters. Peacefully, chaotically, and it didn't matter if his life wasn't meant to last the longest, he just wanted to be somewhere in the equation. It didn't matter if he was just mob character number three that passed by Takeshi's antics every once in a while. It was fun, and that was fine for him.

"Liar. Liar. LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!" she screeches, "If you don't want it, I want it! Give it to me! Why do you get to have all these things? When did I have to lose them? Give it back! Give it to me! You're wasting it all! You're wasting it all, you're a waste!"

You're useless.

You're not needed.

If you can't enjoy it anyways, let me have it. Let me have something. Because I want it so much and I can never get it again, so why should you get it if it doesn't matter to you anyways.

"Why do you get to have everything I didn't?" she sobs. "Why do I have to just disappear? Why do I have to be forgotten, too?"

Rei can do nothing.

He can only listen. And understand, from the depths of his heart, as each word pierced a new stake through his chest.

She grieved for herself, because no one could do it for her.

"Are you going to forget me too?" she mourns. "Of course you are."

She's so lonely.

Rei gasps awake into breath, and immediately, he doubles over choking, sucking in a breath— no, that hurts. He can't get it in his lungs. It hurts. He needs to breathe. How does he breathe, again? Ah, the air just own't come in he can't— he coughs, a hiccup after another, please. Please, just breathe.

He stutters out a shaky breath without ever taking anything in and there are tears in his eyes. It hurts. It hurts so much.

He doesn't know if this is from the sadness or the pain.

"Rei?"

The door opens.

"Rei!"

That's how dad finds him.

"Where's your inhaler? Fuck— Rei, it's okay. It'll be okay—"

His voice is harried, flustered, and so, so terrified— but it's enough. Rei clings, and clings, and sobs, and it just hurts so much he doesn't want to think of anything except the tightening in his lungs. He just wants to focus on Dad's voice.

("Are you going to forget me too?")

No, he can't. He focuses on breathing once the inhaler is put before him but he doesn't want to get too distracted. He obeys when his father helps him through it but he can't. He can't forget.

He can't forget her face. Can't forget her crying voice, ringing in his head. Can't forget the tears in her eyes. Can't forget the way she clung to him, hoping for comfort. Comfort that Rei unquestionably gets anytime he wants, and yet, she's down there alone.

She's always alone. Because she's dead.

(I'm so sorry, Drew.)

(I won't forget you. I promise.)

(I promise. I promise, so please... don't cry.)

It's May 1st, his second year of junior high and he's finally, officially fourteen years old— and yet, all he can think of right now is that Drew, too, was only fourteen when she died.