HehehehhehehheheheHEHEHEHHEHEHE- (There's a shit ton of Stucky in here, just warning you lmao)

Disclaimer: this is 100% a crack fic, meaning it's is cheesy (but isn't all my writing?) and exaggerated to be ridiculous. Enjoy.

Shuri, Princess of Wakanda, had a YouTube channel.

Of course she did.

What, did you expect her to be a "proper" princess? There's no fun in that.

She started this channel a while after Wakanda was "open for business" (AKA when it was revealed that it was not, in fact, a poor farming country) and her following just seemed to climb higher and higher.

Some of the videos on this channel included:

Tiny Stank Diss Track

Coachella with T'Challa- Vlog Day 2

November Lab Tour

KING OF WAKANDA EPIC FAIL

Iconic M'Baku compilation

Dora Milaje Training Regime

Stealing T'Challa's sandals- PRANK

Colonizer saying "oh goodness" for ten minutes (this was just one of Steve repeatedly saying "oh goodness" on his visits with Bucky)

And now, she was uploading another video to her channel, one that would receive more attention than usual.

I MET SPIDER BOY- Meet my new best friend!

•~•~•~•

Peter's identity had been out for a couple of months. He'd left school (he'd return eventually) and things had gotten in order. The accords were amended to apply to him, he was guaranteed national security and legal protection like the others, and he was now able to post selfies of his face on his socials.

And now, he was visiting Wakanda.

He was going for a number of reasons. Tony was supposed to be attending some meetings with T'Challa and his faculty, Steve and Bucky were on another visit there to get Bucky's brain checked, and Peter had always, always wanted to see it ever since it's true nature was announced.

So now, as he stepped off the jet, he was vibrating with excitement.

Tony was by his side, Steve close behind. T'Challa was there to greet the group, a couple of the Dora Milaje (including Okoye) behind him.

"Tony," T'Challa said, stepping forward for a handshake. Tony gladly accepted.

"Should we bow?" Peter whispered to Steve.

Steve chuckled. "No."

"Mr. Parker, it is an honor," T'Challa said, turning his attention to Peter.

Peter nodded dumbly before snapping out of his daze.

"N-no! It's an honor to meet you, sir. Really."

T'Challa smiled in approval. "I like this one, Stark. Keep him."

Tony chuckled. Peter almost fainted.

T'Challa looked over to Steve.

"Hello, my friend," T'Challa greeted him, holding out his hand once again. Steve shook it.

"Good to see you."

"Likewise," T'Challa replied. "Oh, I assume you'd like to see Barnes. "Uh, Ayo, could you send for him, please?"

Ayo nodded, making her way behind the others to fetch Steve's friend (or, as Peter often imagined, secret boyfriend. Or at least love interest).

"You'll be staying in the south wing of the palace, Okoye will show you there."

"Great," Tony said with a curt nod, "I'll grab the bags." The billionaire turned his heel and went back into the ship.

"This is so cool," Peter mumbled, taking in the beauty of the palace, as well  as the vast fields and training areas.

"T'CHALLA? T'CHALLLLAAAAAAA-"

A girl, who Peter immediately recognized as Princess Shuri of Wakanda, walked out one of the side doors of the palace.

T'Challa's brow furrowed. "Shuri! We have guests, wonderful first impression."

"Oh," was Shuri's short answer. "Do you know where my Nikes are?"

"That's what your screaming was about?"

Shuri nodded proudly.

The king sighed. "Mr. Parker, meet Shuri. Forgive her behavior."

Shuri threw up a peace sign, using her other hand to bring her red sucker back to her mouth.

"OhmygodIloveyou!" Peter said suddenly. Of course he was a fan of Shuri, who wasn't?

Shuri raised an eyebrow, smiling. "At least buy me dinner first."

Peter laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, I mean I love your YouTube channel. And your Instagram."

Shuri removed her sucked, eyes suddenly opened a little wider. "Oh! You're the Spider-Man! That's why I know your face. I follow you on Instagram," she commented, her accent very apparent in her voice.

Peter gaped. "Oh my god, yeah. I freaked out when you followed me. Seriously."

Shuri laughed a bit. "I know, I'm fabulous. But I don't know if you're worthy yet."

Peter tilted his head. "Worthy?"

Shuri stepped forward.

"wHOEVER THREW THAT PAPER-"

She paused and awaited Peter's response. Peter immediately lit up.

"YOUR MOM'S A HOE!"

Tony, who was walking back with the bags, looked scandalized. Peter hardly ever used language like that.

Steve just snorted in amusement.

Shuri broke into a grin. "YES!"

"Oh my god, I just made a vine reference with a princess."

"You have spider powers, I thought you'd be a little more professional."

"Nah, I'm just a fanboy."

Shuri nodded in approval. "You're worthy, and you're my friend now. We are making a video together," she proclaimed.

"Oh my Loki, yes!"

"Glad you're excited, kid," Tony grunted, putting the bags down. "But let's get settled in, first."

Footsteps echoed lightly from the same door Shuri had come out of.

James Buchanan Barnes.

"Buck!" Steve said excitedly, rushing over.

Bucky opened his arms as if saying "yeah, it's me" and let Steve hug him. He returned the gesture.

"I'll show you your rooms, now," Okoye said, gesturing for them to follow her.

They nodded and followed.

•~•~•~•~•

Peter got all his stuff put away rather quickly. He was across the hall from Tony, and Steve and Bucky's rooms were a few doors down (Bucky usually stood out in his hut, but he wanted to be around Steve).

The teen pocketed his phone after checking the time and walked out across the hall to Tony's room.

"Tony, what are we doing now?"

Tony slid his now-empty suitcase under the bed. "Tonight at seven they're hosting a little welcome dinner for us, so until then, just hang around. And wear something at least a little nice for dinner."

Peter nodded and left the room, walking down the long corridors of the palace.

"Oh, Spider-Boy, you are here!" Shuri's voice ran out.

Peter looked up to see her leaned up against the wall. "Yeah! You can just call me Peter."

Shuri nodded. "What do you want to do? This place seems grand, but it's really kind of boring. The only thing that keeps me going is my technology," she joked. "But I'm assuming you'd rather do something else."

"Wait, Wakandan tech?! I have to see that. I love robotics and all that stuff!"

Shuri seemed a little surprised. "You and I are going to be very good friends, Peter."

Peter grinned and followed her to the labs.

•~•~•~•~•

"Y'know," Peter said as he fiddled with some circuit boards, "out of all your videos, my favorite is the one where you just say modern slang terms to people who don't get it."

"Oh, yes!" Shuri laughed. "Let me pull that one up."

She swiped her fingers on the screen, typed something in, and pressed play. The video displayed in the form of a holographic projection.

Shuri approached Bucky and T'Challa.

"Barnes, how old are you again? Thirty-five?"

Bucky smiled a little. "One hundred, actually."

Shuri gasped. "Damn, sis! Your skin is still glowing! Drop that skin care routine!"

Bucky looked at T'Challa with a concerned expression. "What is she saying? Why is she speaking like this?"

T'Challa shook his head. "I have been begging my mother for a translator since the day she was born."

Peter grinned and looked at Shuri, who was cackling at her own hilarity.

"I know, comedy genius" she stated proudly. "Oh, I've got some technology that can change your eye color! Come here..."

•~•~•~•~•

"Shit!"

Peter looked up. "What's wrong?"

"We're going to be late to the dinner! And my mother's hand is not one you want to suffer at, trust me."

"Oh, no, Tony's gonna kill me," Peter panicked. "I've gotta get dressed."

"You just have to wear a shirt and pants, I have to wear a corset. Those things suck!"

"Oof, sorry," Peter empathized, grabbing his phone. "We've gotta run."

They rushed out of the lab and went to their respective rooms.

Peter quickly got into some khakis, a button up, and a blazer. In the rush, he also grabbed a brush, wet it, and made his hair slightly more presentable.

Hurryhurryhurryhu-

•~•~•~•~•

Peter made it in time, thankfully. He and Tony made their way to the dining hall at precisely 7:00, hopefully making a good impression.

T'Challa was sitting at the head of the table, of course. Other royal staff members sat in their respective seats.

Steve and Bucky were there, too, sitting next to each other and laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny, Capsicle?" Tony questioned, intrigued.

Bucky spoke up. "This idiot got us fake IDs when we were teenagers to vote."

Steve, teary eyed, defended. "Look, I was just trying to be politically active during the depression, alright?"

"Comin' from the guy who literally falsified his enlistment forms."

"You know what? I don't need this," Steve said, still trying to stop laughing.

"Oh my god, just kiss already," came the familiar voice of Shuri.

"Shuri!!" T'Challa scolded.

She shrugged. "It's pretty obvious, you can't blame me."

Bucky was still laughing while Steve sat there, pink in the face.

"That's enough, sit down," Ramonda said, giving her daughter a look.

Shuri huffed out a breath and sat down, her blue, brown and green dress glimmering in certain spots as she walked.

The dinner commenced.

"Welcome, guests. We hope you enjoy Wakanda, as well as your meals," T'Challa said with a pleasant smile. He sat down next to his mother, who looked at him fondly and took his hand.

As the meal began, Shuri kept mouthing things to make Peter laugh. The conversations among the adults were mostly about the meetings they would be holding and the progress they'd made with Bucky.

At one point, Shuri glanced over at Steve and Bucky, who were sitting unusually close.

Hm. They're literally only inches apart.

The dinner went on. Peter was continually amazed by the food, each dish seeming to taste better than the last. A couple of people who didn't realize Peter had enhanced metabolism were shocked by how much he was able to eat.

By the end, Peter was full. He and his new friend were excused.

"Steve and Bucky sat really close to each other. You think they'll ever date?"

Shuri laughed. "It's already painfully obvious how much they like each other. Barnes talks about Steve all the time. If they don't date, nothing matters anymore."

Peter laughed.

"Anyway," the Princess continued, "let me show you the royal gardens! We have chickens."

•~•~•~•~•

People were starting to regret introducing Peter and Shuri to each other.

Here's an example of why.

Tony walked into a lab the morning after the dinner to hear a horrifying statement by Shuri.

"What if 'It's Raining Men' and 'Let the Bodies Hit the Floor' are about the same event from different perspectives?"

T'Challa, with a distressed look on his face, pleaded with her. "I am literally begging you to stop."

Peter spoke up. "No, let her finish."

Tony slowly backed away.

•~•~•~•~•

Later in the day, Steve and Bucky lumbered into the "ballroom" of sorts because they heard something coming from it. A sound, muffled and intense.

There they found Peter and Shuri yelling impossibly loud:

"TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT!"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY REALLY WA-"

The super soldiers left hastily.

•~•~•~•~•

Tony, this time with T'Challa, worked diligently in the workshop trying out some tech that he wanted to use. T'Challa was showing him how certain things worked as Tony gave some recommendations to make things more stylish looking (what? A man can like his tech to be aesthetically pleasing).

Peter and Shuri walked in, talking about some weird Gen Z shit and recording themselves.

"So, in conclusion, Dean Winchester is bisexual or arguably pansexual, but it doesn't even matter because Cas doesn't have a gender because he's an angel."

Shuri nodded in agreement. "Very wise, I believe we can come to a consensus on that."

Tony was smirking at his kid's comment (he'd watched Supernatural with Peter) and T'Challa was rolling his eyes.

"Kid, come over here real quick," Tony requested, Peter obediently nodding and running over.

Tony was looking through a magnifying glass, using a tiny drill on something on the other side.

"I don't remember the last part of that last paragraph. Can you read it for me?"

"No I cannot," Peter stated.

Shuri grinned and the two inhaled in sync.

"WHADDUP, I'M JARED, I'M NINETEEN AND I NEVER FUCKING LEARNED HOW TO READ."

T'Challa snickered a little bit at that, he knew what they were referencing.

Tony just sighed.

"Nevermind."

•~•~•~•~•

"We need a plan," Shuri groaned in an annoyed voice as she sat down at a table with Peter.

"I dunno if we should push it, Shuri," Peter said, voice laced with uncertainty. "I mean, it's their lives. It might not be smart to... y'know."

Shuri sighed. "Look, you don't understand how obsessed they are with each other. White Wolf never stops talking about the Captain. Ever! It's always 'Steve this' and 'Steve that' with him! And they clearly have something going on between them. They were giving each other heart eyes at dinner.

"I don't wanna make them mad!"

"The day they try to hurt you, I'll eat my own shoes. They're as peaceful as they come . Besides, it'll work. It's not that hard

Chewing the inside of his lip, the arachnid-infused boy looked down. "Maybe..."

"Cool. Let's go."

Shuri left the room, clearly expecting Peter to follow. He caved in and did so.

•~•~•~•~•

"Barnes, I'm making a video," Shuri lied, walking to a common room where Bucky and Steve were sprawled out watching movies.

Peter was by the princess's side, watching her work her "matchmaking magic."

"Uh, okay... you need my help?" Bucky inferred.

Shuri nodded. "Truth or dare."

"Uh, truth."

Shuri grinned. "How did you meet Rogers?"

Bucky barked a laugh. "He was getting his ass kicked on the sidewalk, that's how."

"Elaborate, perhaps?"

"Saw him getting kicked around by a couple of kids. He was fighting back, though. Best as a tiny eight year-old could. But he didn't stand a chance-"

"Buuuuck~" Steve whined in embarrassment.

Bucky continued. "I jumped in to help him, got the other kids to beat it. The rest is history."

Shuri nodded and turned to Steve professionally. "Rogers, truth or dare?"

Steve shrugged. "Uh, truth?"

"Booooorrringg," Shuri groaned.

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Don't I get a choice?"

"Of course."

"Okay, then I choose tru-"

"UUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH-"

"Fine, dare!"

Now content, Shuri aimed the camera at him. "I dare you to kiss Barnes."

Suddenly, Peter gasped. He didn't think Shuri was gonna ask that.

"What?" Steve asked, suddenly red.

"Shuri, I-"

"Hush, now. He chose dare."

"No I didn-"

"Shhh. A dare's a dare."

Steve looked at Bucky, who, shockingly, was offering a tiny smile and a shrug.

"Uh..." Steve seemed lost.

"I mean," Bucky said, "I'm cool with it I guess-"

"Of course he is," Shuri said definitively. "Go on. I dared you."

Peter was now hyperventilating in the corner.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodo-

"I mean, I don't mind, either, I just don't want to overstep boundar-"

"For God's sake, Steve!" Bucky groaned in annoyance, done with Steve's rambling.

The brunet grabbed Steve and promptly kissed him for at least two seconds before sitting back down in his spot on the sofa.

Steve was frozen.

Shuri was jumping up and down and cackling.

Peter was on the floor.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODO-

"You're such a bisexual disaster," Bucky said lamely, eyes now on the television again.

Steve sat there for a moment, still stunned.

Shuri, grinning proudly, looked at Bucky. "And you? You're not a bisexual disaster?"

"Oh, no." Bucky said. "I'm hella gay."

Peter wheezed from across the room, still helplessly on the floor.

Steve looked at his best friend. "You are? I thought I might've been reading you wrong..."

Bucky just winked.

Shuri smiled. "Alright, I'll let you two make out or whatever, come along, Peter."

Peter was still facedown on the floor, so Shuri grabbed him by the leg and dragged him out of the room.

•~•~•~•~•

"Are you sure that's gonna work out?" Peter asked the princess, who was checking her hair in the mirror. They were in the empty dining hall about ten minutes after the incident.

"It better, I went through lots of trouble," Shuri joked.

Peter laughed. "I guess you..."

Shuri gave him a triumphant look. "Go on, say it."

Pete sighed. "You were right. Good job."

"C'mon, let's play video games."

•~•~•~•~•~•

The day Peter had to go, things were hectic.

Tony was packing and Shuri was trying to annoy Peter in his room as he tried to pack, which he didn't mind much.

The boy zipped his suitcase. "I'm gonna put this in the jet, c'mon."

Shuri nodded and followed.

The two walked down the palace corridors, talking.

"It will be so much more boring here without you," Shuri said sincerely. "Things aren't exciting here, much."

Peter nudged his friend. "We can FaceTime. It'll be fine. Besides, if I beg enough, Mr. Stark will have to bring me back for a visit."

Shuri laughed. "I'm going to edit and upload the video of your visit. I expect you to comment under it. Something snarky."

"You have my word."

They got out to the landing platform where the jet was parked.

Peter smirked as he passed the side of the building to see Steve and Bucky around the corner, one giving the other a little goodbye kiss.

"Looks like your plan worked," Peter said to Shuri, who smirked.

"I know, I saw them being all mushy earlier."

Tony was at the foot of the loading ramp, a little smile on his face. "Hey, kid."

"Hi, Mr. Stark."

The billionaire raised an eyebrow.

"Tony," Peter corrected himself.

"Better. We gotta go, say your goodbyes."

T'Challa was standing by the jet formally. Peter approached him, a little timid, still.

"Thank you for having me."

"Why are you saying it like a nerd?" Shuri interrupted before T'Challa could get a word in.

"Aunt May didn't raise a hooligan," Peter snarked at her.

"You are very welcome. I may even invite you back if I think the risk of you and my sister burning down the palace is low."

Peter laughed and nodded.

"Parker, I will miss you so," Shuri said, fake crying dramatically.

"Nah, you'll live. Maybe."

"Kid!" Tony called. "It's time!"

Peter waved and ran up the ramp. Steve was waving at Bucky.

And then, Wakanda was out of sight.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Peter was in bed a few days later at the tower, scrolling through Instagram when a notification popped up from YouTube.

Princess Shuri

I MET SPIDER BOY- Meet my new best friend!

Grinning, Peter clicked the notification and let YouTube pop up.

After two ads played (seriously, why two?!?) the video started.

The first clip was Shuri in the lab.

"You guys, guess who's visiting Wakanda."

[Camera to Peter]

"Say hi, Peter."

"Hi, Peter," Peter said cheekily.

Shuri held the camera to both their faces and laughed. "I finally found another to match my meme-powers."

The two laughed and the video cut to Peter working on something in the lab.

"Peter, how much money do you have?"

"Uh, like, 69 cents."

"Ah! You know what that means."

Peter put on a broken and sad voice. "I don't have enough money for chicken nugget-"

The clip changed again.

Peter was laughing quietly as he watched the video and scrolled down to the comments (the ones that had gotten there quickly, he assumed there'd be more when he reloaded the page).

He knew he owed her a comment...

So he typed.

Peter Parker Official

Not to be biased or anything but this is definitely your best video.

The lighting is fantastic.

But the guy you're hanging out with is kinda annoying ngl

Peter laughed at his own stupid humor and posted it, scrolling through other comments.

ShuriStan3000

The day I meet Spider-Man is the day I complete my life's only purpose.

That was cute. Peter almost didn't, but he couldn't help not replying to the user.

-Peter Parker Official

Omg same here I'm like ur biggest fan

He looked at more comments.

YeeHawHawYee

I'm early but all I have to say is FINALLY

how2begayfordummies

Omg I'm shaking I-

Sierra Blaire

Person: why are you bisexual?

Me: *aggressively gestures to this video*

WhatWouldBobRossDo

No one:

Not one person:

Not even a single soul:

Peter Parker: I rEaLlY LiKe wAfFLeS

(This was, of course, a reference to the video)

DetroitBecomeMemelord

I don't think I've ever seen two more attractive people together before wtf

Peter may or may not have blushed at that.

He watched through the rest of the video, deeply amused. Shuri knew how to edit with comedic timing, of course, so by the end, he was cackling to himself in his room.

He looked through some more comments, and eventually found one with a few hundred likes already.

Charles_is_100%_that_bitch

I went to school with him before his identity got out and it just hit me like a ton of bricks how much cool stuff he's probably doing without us lmao

Peter got really excited, actually. He forgot that his friends would probably see this video.

-Peter Parker Official

Hi, Charles!

"Underoos, c'mere for a sec, please!"

Peter looked up and put his phone in his back pocket. "Coming!"

•~•~•~•~•~•

The video, three days after it was posted, was at 132M views.

Peter got a lot of dms and texts, asking him what Shuri was like and what they did when they hung out.

He kept quiet about the Steve and Bucky thing.

His comment had been pinned by Shuri, who had some snarky reply to it.

He tweeted out "my favorite princess is priNCESS SHURI OF WAKANDA-"

And he could officially say that he knew royalty.

I FINISHED IT!!! FINALLY! I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter, but I feel awful bc I have like 10 old requests that I never got done...I'll get around to it eventually.

Love you all!

**********

February 20th, 2020