~Avengers Compound, West Coast location~

Life as a SHIELD agent and member of the Avengers was never boring. There was thrill, danger, and the occasional opportunity for seduction.

But never in all my years as an agent had I ever thought that living in the Avengers Compound, surrounded by my teammates, would make me feel so...awake at three in the morning.

I couldn't sleep. I blamed the time difference, but I'd lived out here long enough to not let it affect me. So that couldn't really be it.

It was an inconvenience, waking up at all hours and not being able to shut off my brain. I used to do it just fine.

Something had changed. Something I refused to admit.

Sighing, I rolled out of bed and slipped into a two-piece swimsuit and robe before heading down to the pool at headquarters. Swimming was one of my coping mechanisms, and it had been working quite well on the nights when sleep decided it wasn't going to happen.

The water sparkled in the moonlight and a slight breeze blew past as I dropped my robe and a towel onto a chair. I let my feet dangle in the water before standing up and diving in.

My mind began to wander. I thought about my current mission working undercover. In my three months as a waitress working alongside my confidant and friend Emerson, I'd learned how to make cappuccinos faster than the average human, mastered the balance of carrying six hot plates of food along my arm, and memorized every order of our regular customers from open to close.

But one thing I had not uncovered: any details about the supposed embezzlement by my 'boss' at the diner. Not even after using my training to get the secrets out of him.

I'd ruined a perfectly good pair of heels playing damsel in distress only to get him back to his apartment, drug his whiskey, and learned he secretly had a cat named Fox before he passed out on the bed.

I thought about Bucky, who was rehabilitating in Wakanda, and our recent video chat. We stayed actively in touch as he was out there living life as a 100-year old shepard with a metal arm. He worked with Shuri in a consulting capacity, his days in the field consisting only of talking to sheep instead of fighting on the streets with the rest of us.

I thought about combat training earlier that day and that look in Steve's eyes as I pinned him to the ground. The same look that haunted my mind ever since our mission to stop the Winter Soldier three years prior.

I resurfaced, coughing. Damn it, not again. I swam to the edge of the pool and let the water lap over my shoulders. I didn't know what it was about Steve. We had been on more missions together in the last three years than I could count. He'd saved my life numerous times. But recently, something had changed between us without either of us having to say anything. He wasn't a hard person to read, he was just...Steve. My teammate. My friend.

"Beautiful night for a swim, isn't it?"

I whipped my head to the left and saw Steve—of all people—standing by the sliding doors before walking toward me.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, trying to keep my voice down since the whole compound was asleep. Our voices tended to echo outside.

Steve shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. You too, I'm guessing?"

I nodded, trying to stop my eyes from scanning his body which was hidden beneath a tight tank and board shorts. I bit my lip and forced myself to focus on his face. Had he always looked that good? Why was I even noticing that? I was Natasha Romanoff, trained assassin. I didn't 'catch feelings' for guys. For anyone, really.

"Figured I would strategize for a bit, make myself useful."

"A bit late to be working, isn't it?" he asked.

"It helps me clear my mind when I can't sleep," I replied. "And I could say the same for you."

Steve grinned. "I'm not working. I'm like that Twilight guy, up at all hours of the night."

I snorted. "Yeah, except you don't sparkle."

The silence lapped between us like the waves in the pool.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

"Go right ahead," I found myself saying. What was wrong with a late-night swim between two friends?

As I was lost in thought, Steve pulled off his tank and dropped it on the chair beside my things. His back muscles were perfectly sculpted. A result of the serum, I was sure. But it meant he could lift and throw me across the room without breaking a sweat like he did in many of our training exercises.

His hands wrapped around my waist, holding me firmly but not so tight as if I couldn't breathe. Then in one swoop, he sent me flying and twirling through the air where I landed in a roll on the cushy mat in the corner that Tony set up to break our falls. Every time he touched me, held me, I felt a swirl in the pit of my stomach.

The splash of water as Steve dove in and swam the length of the pool brought me out of the memory. His strokes cut cleanly through the water as if no effort was needed whatsoever. It didn't even seem like he came up for air.

He resurfaced next to me, droplets of water falling into his eyes. "Wanna race?"

I laughed. "You are so on."

We counted down from three then took off through the water. I reached the wall where we started just a few seconds after Steve. When I came up from the water, he smirked at me.

"Slowpoke," he teased.

I splashed him. "Hey! Not all of us have your stamina." Except, the reality of the situation was that I did have that stamina.

He flashed me a smile. "Best 2 out of 3?"

"I'd love to, I really would," I said, "but I should try to get a little sleep before the sun comes up."

"I understand."

"Raincheck?" I asked.

Steve nodded and brightened at the idea. "You bet."

I climbed the ladder and walked over to dry off. I could feel Steve's gaze on me the whole time. Remembering how he knew about the scar on my stomach, I quickly wrapped myself into my robe.

"How's the undercover work going, by the way?" Steve asked, leaning on his elbows on the concrete surface of the pool deck. "Dating your boss and all that."

"It's not really so much dating as it is him thinking we slept together when in reality he's passed out half naked on the bed," I replied with a smirk. "You learn a lot when you're me. Men can always look but never touch. That's why I never get too close."

Steve swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "Right."

They can never get too close because they're not what I want, I thought to myself. But what did I want? Out here with Steve, vulnerable, that was a scary question.

"See you at breakfast," he called as I reached the sliding door.

I turned to wave. "Night, Steve."

When I got back to my room, I changed into a black camisole and shorts and climbed into bed. I turned on my laptop and opened up Skype.

"Natasha, hey." Shuri's image appeared on the screen a minute later. "What's up?"

"I hope I didn't wake you," I said. "I needed a distraction."

"Well, Sergeant Barnes is currently out. But I can give him a message if you want." Shuri grinned at me through the screen.

I shook my head. "I was actually hoping to talk with you."

"Oh. Well, yeah. What can I help with?" She sat back in her chair and folded her arms on the table in front of her.

I leaned back against my pillows. "Where do I even start? My nightmares have been getting worse. That's the main thing."

"Have you been sleeping?" she asked.

"Not really."

"Did you try the tea?"

I nodded. "It used to help but not anymore. Do you have any other advice?"

Shuri pursed her lips in thoughts. "Have you experienced any changes in your feelings for anyone lately? Namely clueless blonde men with very attractive bodies?"

"Shuri..." I warned her. How was it possible that she could know all these things so well?

"Hear me out, Natasha. The remedy I gave you was purely for relieving the tension of your past. But if the reason you're having trouble sleeping is because of new feelings—and I'm not saying that's what this is—then you might need a different tea blend. Or an entirely different remedy."

I ran a hand down my face. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately. That's all." I hoped she couldn't see through me. "It has nothing to do with Steve."

"I didn't drop any names there, Natasha. But I am curious about your relationship with Mr. Golden Boy."

"There is no relationship," I said. "He's just Steve. And I...I have my current assignment. So it's not like if I had feelings for him—which I don't—I could do anything about it."

"Hmm." She didn't sound very convinced, but I knew I wasn't very convincing. I was a spy, good at hiding everything. Except my feelings, apparently. "Well, let me see what I can do, I'll be in touch, ok?"

I nodded. "Thanks, Shuri."

"And Natasha?"

"Yeah?"

"Whatever it is that you feel or don't feel for Steve or whoever else, your feelings are valid. You deserve to be happy."

"Shuri, there's not—"

"You can deny it all you want, Natasha. Even though I'm sixteen, I can see it written all over your face. So, in the meantime, I'm going to recommend mint—gum, tea, anything."

"Great, thanks."

"Anytime, Natasha. Try to get some rest, and I'll be in touch about that new remedy."

I ended the call, and the screen went black. Still, I couldn't get him off of my mind, and I was not the type of girl to go boy crazy. I'd never felt the way I did about Steve before, and it wasn't like I could talk to anyone about how I was feeling. Shuri didn't exactly count, despite our conversation. Pepper was married. Maria was a work colleague. And Wanda was just too new.

I turned on my side and tried one more time to fall asleep.