Fourteen

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    I wake up with Jack curled into my side, leg sprawled over mine as he snores into my shoulder. Bailey is on my other side, with Trinity cuddled into her, in a position similar to the one Jack and I are in, except my sister isn't snoring loud enough to wake her up, something I'm severely envious of as Jack snores loudly by my ear.

Britain had to leave at some point during our Twilight marathon last night, sometime after we'd eaten the entire chocolate cake and stuffed ourselves full of chips and candy, all snuggled up on the conjoined beds as the movies played, all of us commentating throughout, finding ourselves more entertaining than the movies playing, Bailey and I who'd seen them before, quoting along like we were the stars. "Jackson," I nudge him, grumbling as he grips onto me tighter, nearly suffocating me. "I know I said I love you like a brother, but this is extreme. I can hardly breathe."

"But you're so warm," he complains when I try pushing him off again, pulling me into him again, this time moving me, so my head is resting against his chest, his chin leaning on the top of my head. He's hugging me now, something that's not unusual for Jack, he's always been a hugger, but this feels different, his hands gripping onto me, looking for comfort.

I hug him back, and he practically melts into my arms, "you okay, Jacky?" I ask him, the silly nickname I'd given him as a kid slipping past my lips. "I see the way you look at her."

He sighs, flipping out of my arms, so he's lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He reaches for my hand, interlocking our fingers as I fall onto my back as well, shoulders brushing shoulders as we lay side by side, voices quiet, so we don't wake my sister and Bailey. "It's stupid, really." He admits, finally breaking the silence, "to ever think she'd ever like me the way I like her."

I think back over the past five years. Lilly's only 19, almost two years younger than myself and a year older than Jack, and while I never really imagined them as a couple, it wasn't a completely ridiculous thought. To be quite honest... they kind of make perfect sense. Lilly's the kind of person who craves affection, and as confident as she acts, I know deep down she's insecure, scared of being rejected and left. She needs someone who's going to constantly reassure them just how much they love her, and Jack would be exactly that. I've never met a guy quite so open about how they feel. It's something I've always admired.

I shrug, my shoulder moving against his, "I don't think it's stupid," I whisper, honestly, knowing exactly how he feels.

"I never thought I'd have a chance anyway," he admits sadly, reaching up with the hand not interlocked with mine to tug at his curls, "I knew eventually, she'd find some other hot actor, and I'd have to watch via social media as she completely forgot my existence..."

"I know what you mean," I agree, a sad smile on my lips. As nice as it is having someone to relate to, it's also quite heartbreaking, knowing Jack is in just as much pain as I am. This feeling, the heaviness weighing down my heart, slowly cracking it piece by piece... it's excruciating, and I didn't want anyone else to have to feel this way, especially someone I love. "I keep searching for reasons to hate her," I admit guiltily, "but she's not just some random Hollywood actress... she's Lilly. I could never hate her, no matter how hard I try."

Bodies shift beside us, and our conversation is cut short, as Bailey and Trinity both wake up simultaneously, my little sister scooting away from the older girl and sitting upright, hair a mess. "I feel like death," Bailey groans, sitting up too, "we definitely shouldn't of eating all that last night."

I chuckle, nodding in agreement, as I sit up, squeezing Jack's hand one more time before letting go. "I'm gonna go on a coffee run? You want something?"

The three of them all put an order in almost immediately, the older two requesting coffee while Trinity ordered an iced tea. I walk in silence to the coffee shop in our hotel's lobby, not bothering to change out of my PJs and cropped tank. We'd eaten so many sweets last night, resulting in all of us having a major sugar high and eventually crashing, getting very little sleep, something that would make today's workday feel extra long.

"Trouble?" A familiar nickname drags my thoughts off of how long today will be over to a pair of blue eyes, a striking grey that makes my heart burst. Jamie's wearing a pair of sweats and a black t-shirt that hugs his arms just right, showing off the curve of his muscle. "How was movie night?" He questions, tone a mixture of curiosity and something I can't quite put a finger on.

It would've been better if you were there, I have to resist the urge to say, stepping forward, so we're inches apart, my chin tilting upward to look him in the eye. We're close enough that if he wanted to, he could reach out and hook his fingers around my waist, pulling me into a hug, "good," I say instead, smiling, "Bailey and I forced Jack, Britain and Trinity to watch Twilight for the first time."

Realization washes across Jamie's features as his brow curves up, "Bailey, Trin and Britain were there too?" He questions, tone casual, though I can see the wheels turning in his head.

"Yup," I nod, the last letter popping against my lips. "Britain's girlfriend was going to come, but she felt jetlagged, so he didn't spend the night." Jamie nods, and as much as I don't want to know, I can't help but ask, tone casual as I say, "how was your date?"

The word feels sour on my lips. I've always wondered what it'd be like to go on a date with Jamie. He's always been such a gentleman, the kind of person who holds open the door and pulls your chair out for you at the table. I can't help but imagine him and Lilly holding hands over a crisp white tablecloth, candlelight illuminating his perfect features. "It was good," he nods, not giving much detail, which I'm grateful for; I don't think I could handle Jamie telling me any more than that, preferring to stay blissfully unaware. "We're hanging out again tonight, actually."

"Oh." I mentally scold myself for sounding so damn awkward. You're his best friend, Eden. You're supposed to be happy for him, I have to remind myself as I force a smile onto my lips, "so you like her too, then?"

Why did I ask that when I didn't want the answer?

Jamie shrugs, ringer-clad fingers tugging at his hair, "it's new, but..." he drags off, as I tilt my head, his gaze flickering up then down nervously, "yeah, I could see myself liking her..."

He seems unsure, looking at me as if he's searching for a sign that that's good, something I'm not sure if he wants or not. Feelings are confusing for Jamie. He's never been very open about them, so this whole thing must be really weird for him. "That's good," I nod, trying my best to sound happy for both him and Lilly, though my heart is breaking slowly more and more with each passing day.

"Tomorrow, I'm all yours, though," Jamie changes the subject, a beautiful smirk dancing across his lips, "don't think I haven't forgotten your big day."

I sigh, head rolling back with annoyance as Jamie chuckles. I hate birthdays, always have. It's not that I have traumatic memories or hate that I'm aging. It just never felt any special to me; it was just a day, and I seriously hated people making a fuss over me. The attention made me nervous. "Or," I tilt my head at him optimistically, "we could just forget it's even happening? Tomorrow's your one day off. You all should rest rather than do something for me. Seriously, it's no big deal."

"Or," he repeats my word, stepping closer so my chest is nearly pressed against him, "you could let us put you first for once and let your best friends celebrate you." Jamie sweeps me into his arms, a typical greeting for us that I'd be hopefully waiting for, longing to wrap my arms around his firm torso and breath in the scent of his cologne. "You know, I happen to find the birth of my favourite person quite a big deal."

I'm so glad he's hugging me and not looking at my face right now, my cheeks currently aflame, one pressed against his chest, his heartbeat softly beating against it, mine beginning to keep time with his. I know eventually, one day, he'll stop sweeping me into his arms like his, a small moment of affection so rare for Jamie. If he and Lilly dated, I picture his affection towards me would fade, even if it is just friendly, his attention focused more on her.     



Writing this from my bed in Portugal, it's short, but I really wanted to get something up for you all!!

Next chapters will be Eden's birthday!! (I plan on doing on actual chapter, and then another dedicated to everyone's birthday posts for her, so technically you'll get a double update next time around!!

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