New Year's Eve 2022

I laugh as Jack dances to the song playing through the speakers, his famous dance moves not at all going along to the beat of the Lizzo song playing around the room. My voice feels hoarse from singing along all night, and my feet ache in my heels from dancing. Jack, Lilly and I hadn't left the dance floor at all, only leaving to get a drink and then quickly returning.

The two of them have done a fantastic job at getting my mind off Jamie, who left yesterday afternoon, promising me he'd see me soon. It sucks not getting to ring in the New Year with him. They say the people you bring the new year in with are the people who will be by your side throughout the next year, and while I'm grateful Jack and Lilly are two of those people, I can't help but wish Jamie was here.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink," Jack says as another song starts, slightly out of breath from dancing. He's wearing a crisp black suit, his curls styled in a messy but cute way.

I can't help but notice the way Lilly's eyes linger on him as he walks away, cheeks flushed, "you know he feels the same way, right?" I nudge her, not bothering to dance along to the Lady Gaga song now playing over the speakers, needing to catch my breath.

Lilly sighs, almost sadly, turning to look at me, "yeah, I gathered that," she smiles wistfully, pressing her lips together.

"So, what're you waiting for?" I shake my head at her, confused.

"Jack's the best," She informs me, information I already know. I watch as Lilly's gaze flickers back over to him. He's talking to someone at the refreshment table, a friendly smile dancing across his lips, "and he deserves the best..." she drags, "I've made a lot of mistakes, Eden. Done a lot of things I wish I could take back... I don't want him to think I only like him because my management told me to, and I don't. He makes me really, really happy, but I don't deserve him."

My heart shatters in my chest as she forces a smile onto her face as if remembering where she is, putting back on her picture-perfect act, "You don't have to be perfect all the time, Lilly." I reach over, squeezing her hand in mine. "And I know for a fact you make him just as happy." Jack's been so excited and giddy these past few weeks, and it's all because of Lilly.

Jack is walking over to us as the DJ speaks into his mic, "Is everyone ready to ring in the new year?" The man asks, everyone, cheering in response. Jack wraps his arm around my shoulder, leaning his cheek against my head, "We're gonna slow it down for this next one. I wanna see all you couples on the dance floor."

"I'm gonna go call Jamie," I look at my phone, seeing we're only 4 minutes away from the New Year. Lilly looks at me with massive eyes, silently telling me not to leave her and Jack alone on the dance floor right now, "you two should dance, though," I say, nudging Jack in her direction, "I'll see you after Midnight."

"Y-you don't have to if you don't want to," Lilly's nervous, an odd emotion that I've never really seen her wear.

At the same time, Jack asks, "Do you wanna dance?"

I slowly back away as Lilly's cheeks erupt into flames, nodding her head, "Yeah," she looks over at me as I shoot her a thumbs up, winking. "I'd love that."

New Year's Day by Taylor Swift begins to play over the speakers as I walk over to a far corner of the room, pulling my phone out of the pocket of my dress once more. It takes a minute before Jamie finally answers, his tired features greeting me, "Hi there," I smile, having to speak a little bit louder to be heard over the music. "How's 2023?"

"Tiring," Jamie chuckles, "might have had one too many beers last night with my mates and way too early of a call time." Jamie looks like he's sitting in his trailer, nursing a cup of coffee as he asks me, "Where are Lilly and Jack?"

I flip the camera around, zooming it on pair on the dance floor. Lilly and Jack are talking while they slow dance, and I almost wish I was standing close enough to listen in, wanting to know what Jack's saying that's making Lilly smile like that. Jamie smiles tiredly at the sight of them. "They're cute, huh?" I ask, turning the camera back to face me.

"Not as cute as us," Jamie shakes his head, smiling goofily. I watch as the clock on my phone changes, bringing us another minute closer to midnight.

I open my mouth to say something, as someone else speaks from Jamie's trailer, "Jamie, you're needed on set," A girl's voice says.

"Already," Jamie nods, sighing tiredly as he looks back at the camera, "I gotta go. I'll call you later?"

"I'll probably be asleep later," I remind him, hating this time difference more than anything, "I'll text you when I wake up."

"Right, okay," I get it. He's at work. He can't just delay their morning because he wants to be on facetime with me at midnight my time. Still, my heart aches, hurting slightly. Jamie stands, ready to head back onto set. "Bye, Eden. I love you."

"I love-"

He hangs up before I get the words out, leaving my screen blank. I know he didn't mean to rush our goodbyes on purpose. He's probably stressed about the new job and tired from his night out with his friends. Still, it feels like someone's punched me in the gut, my heart aching deep within my chest.

I let my gaze wander over to Lilly and Jack once more as I wrap my arms around myself, hugging myself. Jack is mouthing the words to the song as Lilly giggles, and they look so ridiculously happy. But all I feel is an overwhelming sadness, Taylor's voice making my soul ache.

"Please don't ever become a stranger

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere-"

I don't realize I'm crying until the song ends and the DJ announces we're mere seconds away from midnight. I watch as Lilly move's out of Jack's arms, blushing, gaze staring down at her feet, and as much as I'd rather be with them at midnight than completely alone, I stay back. This was their moment, and I'm not going to ruin it because my mine doesn't get to happen.

When everyone starts counting, Jack says something to Lilly, having to lean in closer for her to hear. He stares at her with doe eyes as he waits for her response, and Lilly nods, smiling. When midnight strikes, I watch as Jack pulls Lilly into his arms, kissing her.

I feel the oddest mix of emotions, my heart rising happily in my chest at the sight of the two of them having their moment. Confetti falls around them, but neither of them seems to notice, too consumed by one another and this perfect moment. At the same time, the tears streaming down my face haven't stopped falling, wishing Jamie were here, that he didn't have to be thousands of miles away right now.

I'd been alone at midnight, rather than with my friends or on the phone with my long-distance boyfriend. I've never been the type to believe in superstitions, yet right now, this felt like some sort of glimpse into the rest of my year.

Constantly missing Jamie, feeling so far away from him at all times.

I stare into my reflection on my phone camera before going back over to Jack and Lilly. Thank god for waterproof mascara. Otherwise, my makeup would be wrecked. Other than my bloodshot eyes, I look fine, and it's way too dark in here for anyone to notice otherwise.

I force a smile onto my face as I walk back over to them, they're no longer kissing, but I can see the blushes lingering on both of their faces. "Happy New Year!" I yell, announcing my presence.

"Happy New Year, E," Jack picks me up off the ground, twirling me around.

When I get back on my own two feet, Lilly hugs me, whispering a quiet "thank you," into my ear while she does, "How's Jamie?" She asks once she pulls away, having to yell to be heard over the music that's blaring.

"Good," I nod, feeling like I'm lying even though I'm not.

Before either of them can ask anything else, a firework is let off outside, heard through the doors leading to the large balcony of the venue we're in, "oh my god, I love fireworks," Lilly grabs mine and Jack's hand, as she drags us outside.

"This is gonna be our best year yet," Jack says, wrapping his arms around Lilly's shoulder, "I can feel it."

I couldn't help but doubt his words, anxiety making my stomach churn. It's only been 2023 for a few minutes, yet things already feel different, and I can't quite decide if it's a good or bad thing yet.

🖤

@edenbliss posted a photo!

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edenbliss
hold on to the memories they will hold onto you✨

tagged: @jackchampion, @lilgibs

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baileybass ugh I wish I was there
— edenbliss we miss u, B🫶🏻😭

user1 we love a swiftie omg

user2 why isn't she with Jamie for new years?
— user3 he's back in London I'm pretty sure

misstrinitybliss happy new year big sis!! I love you😭❤️
— edenbliss I love you more!

zoesaldana happy new year beautiful girls❤️

britaindalton happy new year Eden!

lilgibs "and I will hold onto you."😭🫶🏻
— edenbliss ilyyyy❤️❤️

jackchampion I think this might be my new favourite song!
— lilgibs mine too🫶🏻

jamieflatters happy new year, Trouble! I wish I was there with you
— edenbliss me too❤️

Ugh my heart was breaking writing this chapter!!