You did it again.

You did it again and I know if you come back you'll do it once more.

You did it because I let you again.

We dance,

we tango, 

we ChaCha and prance,

 but the message is still..

we did it again.

I blame you but I know it is me

You can't do it again if I don't let you in.

My brain screams in a rage that burns hotter than the flames of hades..

it remembers a me that would never let this happen.

The me that would've never let you see the door...

let alone, make yourself at home.

The me what would spit and curse, no matter who got hurt,as long as it was caused by me.

That me would make you never do it again.

You never knew that me, thanks to an old friend.

The old friend who died and was replaced by a new him.

When the new him was met with the old me our story was soon fin.

An unshakable bond was shattered as the new him hurt the old me.

A new me killed the old me making sure he didn't do it again.

But the memories are there!

My brain never lets them sleep!

Why!

Why!

WHY!

Why do we do this again!?

How many times must I realize the old me is dead?!

He killed her!

I am not even who replaced her but new mindset.

That's right that me is dead, once again.

I met you while picking up the pieces of the old,

that me was always scared but not that you would know.

It didn't last too long though because everything went cold.

Shortly after I died once again.

I didn't think I would survive this death.

Everything that was me was gone, what was left?

I was confused and wished for the old friend, but you came back

and I remembered how to adapt once again.

I am not saying you are the reason I am still alive,

I am not saying you are my happiness,

I am saying that you help me remember to revive,

I am saying you make being happy easier.

Because I know that burden will have you leaving again.

Why is my brain so angry all the time?

That is simple you aren't the only one who makes rage inside.

The old was replaced by me, 

and I am too tired to do this again.

I never seem to speak against others anymore.

I have lost that fighting fire.

I go with the flow and hope what I don't like gets caught on a wire.

Never really holding on to any wants..

other than to hear you say 'I love you' again.

This is why we do this again.

You always come back,

and I let you in...

knowing that one day it will be never again..

Always & Forever

3/17/2020