*a beautiful, starry night sky appears, all is quiet and calm as soft elven voices sing in the background, a mysterious voice begins to narrate the opening scene*

The word has changed....

I feel it in the water....

I feel it in the earth....

I smell it in the air....

Much that once was-

*the voice is abruptly cut off by the sound of extremely loud party music coming from below*

Are you kidding me? This was supposed to be professional!

*voice is ignored as the music continues to blast*

Oh forget it.

*camera moves down revealing the title of the book and a weird video that has nothing to do with the story*

LORD OF THE RINGS: EVEN MORE TALES OF RANDOM CRAZINESS AND HUMOR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOs9WyuQ5BI

A massive party was in full swing in the land of Middle Earth. It was the biggest party of the year, that served to bring the people of Middle Earth together for one epic celebration.

Everyone was there! Hobbits from the Shire, elves from Rivendell, Mirkwood, Lothlorien, dwarves from Erebor, humans from Rohan and Gondor, and of course all those people who just happened to wander into the craziness.

The party was taking place in a large field and things had gotten crazy. The music was so loud the ground was vibrating, fireworks were going off, orcs and other such foul creatures looked on sadly as the party progressed.

They hadn't been invited.

Amidst the music and noise a lone voice rang out,
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!"
Pippin shouted tossing handfuls of confetti into the air while wearing ridiculously large sunglasses and a green and purple court jester hat complete with golden bells and all the noise.

"Pippin get OUT of the punch bowl right now!"
Merry tried to reach his cousin, ignoring the angry and somewhat annoyed elves, men, dwarves, and hobbits gathered who had been hoping to enjoy some strawberry punch, only to have it ruined by a certain hobbit standing in the middle of the bowl.

"But it's a New Year party Merry! And I'm going to celebrate the way I was born to!"
Pippin continued to throw infinite confetti from his pockets.
"I don't care if we're celebrating Gandalf's 1,000,000,000 birthday! GET OUT OF THE PUNCH!!!!!"

Pippin continued to ignore his cousin and throw more confetti. The thing that bothered Merry the most was that it wasn't even a New Years party, it was just a normal huge extravagant party. Merry wasn't the only one having problems though.

"NOBODY MOVE I LOST MY TURTLE!!!!!

The music came to an abrupt stop as everyone turned to face a young hobbit girl searching the ground frantically.

"You lost what?" Another hobbit girl asked watching her friend crawl around on the grass.

"MY TURTLE!!!!!!" MY PET TURTLE IS LOOOOOSSSSSSSTTTT!!!!!"

Moans of pain occurred as the distressed hobbit wailed her despair.

"Calm down Jayden!" Jenrail felt everyone's eyes on her.

Fortunately for her a scream of terror pierced the air and a red haired ellon raced passed the two hobbits in blind terror with a small turtle clinging to his back.

"GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF!"

"PHOENIX GET BACK HERE!"
Legolas suddenly appeared with a broom in his hand and was desperately trying to catch up with his younger brother.
The blond archer was followed swiftly by another red haired elf.

"MOVEMENT WILL ONLY STARTLE IT MORE!"
Piper shouted also trying to catch up with the fleeing Phoenix with a baseball bat in her hands.

"IF YOU STOP MOVING IT'LL BITE YOU!"
Caladhiel added following with a marshmallow launcher.

Another elf, whose name was Theafandir, followed behind them and added, "I don't really know what's going on, I just love running behind random people!"

"MY TURTLE!!!!!"
Jayden leapt to her feet and charged after the elves.

"Jayden! Don't do anything violent!"
Jenrail raced after them knowing full well that Jayden wouldn't hesitate to harm the elves if they hurt her turtle.

While Phoenix led the train of elves (and two hobbits) through the crowded party some other hobbits were trying to enjoy themselves despite the madness.

"You know, when I heard that I had been invited to this massive party, I was actually excited."Listal (a newbie to the chatroom) commented.
"Now that I'm here though, I wish I had stayed home."

"I know what you mean." Her friend Prisca (another newbie) added, wincing as Legolas swung his broom at the thing on his brother's back, only to miss and crash into Losider (ya'll remember him right) and send them both crashing onto the ground while Piper and Caladhiel went on to aid their fellow red head in need while Theafandir tripped over Legolas and Losider. Jayden leaped over the fallen elves and Jenrail ran around them.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad." A hobbit named Berylla said as she took a bite out of a slice of pizza.

"I don't know about you guys," a hobbit named Erin commented with a grin, "but me and Rowen here are just wondering how long it'll be before Thranduil and Thorin start fighting."

"It's going to be any minute now, I guarantee it." Rowen said to confirm her cousin's prediction.

At that moment Frodo walked up to their table.
"Hi Frodo, looking for something?"
Berylla asked.
"Have any of you seen Esmerelda? I haven't seen her since the party started and she usually makes it a point to be the center of attention at a party."

"Who's Esmerelda?" Erin asked.

"My cousin," Frodo sighed almost sounding disappointed, "I've looked everywhere for her but she's gone."

"I can help you look for her!" Prisca offered a little too eagerly.

The other hobbits glanced at her awkwardly, but Frodo seemed too distracted to notice her eagerness.

"Thanks, I already checked all the dessert tables so she's either at the dance floor or talking some unfortunate soul's ears off, probably an elf."

Frodo nodded as if he was agreeing with himself before walking away. Prisca followed behind him, smiling as she went.

"Well someone's got a crush." Listal rolled her eyes and went on to enjoy some cake.

"And I'm getting bored."
Erin stood up from her seat and Rowen followed.
"Let's go see what Caramel is up to."

The two hobbits disappeared leaving Listal and Berylla to watch Caladhiel rapidly shoot marshmallows at Phoenix, trying to dislodge the creature from his back as Jayden bravely blocked the marshmallows from hitting her precious turtle.

Gollum: Did someone say precious?

Gollum?! What are you doing in the narrative?! Get out! Shoo!

Gollum: Stupid fat writer.

Hey...

Getting back to the story,

Somewhere else were some elleths also trying to enjoy the party.

"Be honest Ithilwen," an elf named Livia began, "is this party crazier than the last one you were at?"

"The last party I went to ended with seventeen people in the emergency room and Mirkwood was on fire." Ithilwen shuddered at the memory. She should have known better than to go to a party hosted by Thranduil.

"You're so lucky Ithilwen!" Her newly made friend Merilwen said. "You get invited to so many parties!"

Lucky?!
Ithilwen wanted to scream, but instead remained silent as a newcomer approached them.

"Hi, I'm Lerindë." The elleth introduced herself with a friendly smile.

"I'm Livia, and these are Ithilwen and Merilwen." The four elleths exchanged friendly hellos before standing in awkward silence for a few minutes.

"So, is this your first party?"
Livia asked.
"Yeah, it is actually." Lerindë replied.

"Get out while you still can." Ithilwen advised.

Suddenly Phoenix ran by, the turtle was still clinging onto his back, how the turtle managed to accomplish this is unknown considering it is physically incapable of grasping things.

By now Thranduil had noticed what was befalling his youngest son, but had yet to do anything to help.

"Thranduil! Please do something, Phoenix has suffered enough."
Dailoth pleaded, glaring at the elven king as he completely ignored her.

"THRANDUIL OROPHERION YOU BETTER STOP IGNORING ME THIS INSTANT!!!!!"

Now Thranduil was pretty much fearless, but when Dailoth raised her voice it was enough to send him running and screaming for the hills.

However, since there were dwarves around and he did not want to embarrass himself, he pushed his pure blind terror away and turned to Dailoth and asked innocently, "Did you say something?"

Dailoth pointed at Phoenix, who was still running and screaming as Jayden tried to reach her turtle.

"Oh, I'm on it." Immediately Thranduil used his Jedi Powers to summon the two other Jedi at the party.

Lindir! Go help Phoenix!

Lindir groaned loud and long at hearing Thranduil's voice once again ordering him around.

"What's wrong Lindir?"
Caramiriel (or Caramel) asked.

Lindir didn't answer since he was sending his own Jedi Mind Message back to Thranduil.

Why can't you help him? He's your son.

"Uh hello? Lindir?"
Thaladir snapped his fingers I'm front of Lindir's face but there was no response.

Because I'm a Jedi Master, and you have to do what I say. That's how it works Lindir.

"Seriously, is he okay?"
Shazad shifted the duffle bag type thing on her shoulder as she watched Lindir continue to stare off into space.

Why can't Pippin do it? He's a Jedi too.

Have you seen Pippin lately?

Suddenly an extremely loud voice sounded from the speakers and in a very un-hobbit-like manner Pippin started screeching, "I SAAAAAAWWWWWW THE LIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTT FAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDEEEEEE FRRRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMM THE SKKKKKYYYYYYY-"

"PIPPIN GET AWAY FROM THERE!" Merry's voice could be heard in the speakers.

"NO! I HAVE ANOTHER SONG! HOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEE ISSSSSSSS BEEEEEEHIIIIIIINNNNDDDDD THE WHOOOOOOOLLLLLEEEE WOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLD AHEEEEE-"

"PIPPIN YOU ARE SINGLE HANDEDLY KILLING EVERYONE'S EAR DRUMS!!!!"

"JUST ONE MORE SONG! THEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY'RRRRREEEEE TAKINGTHEHOBBITSTOISENGARDGARDGARDGARDGARDGARDGARD-ACK!"

Thankfully Merry finally managed to get Pippin away from the sound equipment, everyone's ear drums were saved, and Lindir stomped off to find Phoenix and help him with his crisis.

In another place a drinking game was going on. No not the one like in Return of the King Extended Edition Special Edition With Special Extended Features And Extended Extended Scenes With Exclusive Extended Cast Commentary Exclusively For This Extra Special Extended Extended Edition That is Extra Special For Extra Special Lord of the Rings Fans That Are Especially Special And Will Especially Pay Exceptional Amounts Of Money Forr This Extended Extended Version Of Return of the King Because It Is Special.

This was a drinking game where the contestants drank pure liquefied sugar.

Yup. It's like normal sugar, but in liquid form.

Anywho, it was Fili vs Kili and both were on they're 30 and 1/2 cup of LS (Liquefied Sugar)

"Come on Fili! Take him down!"
Amarea the hobbit wizard shouted. She had bet 150$ on Fili winning and she was not going to lose it.

"You're better than him Kili! Remember, you had more screentime in The Hobbit!"
Elena the elf shouted, if Kili won she was going to be a rich elf.

Unfortunately for Elena, her words not only motivated Kili, but completely enraged Fili.

"I DESERVED MORE SCREENTIME!!!!!"
With blind sugar enduced rage, Fili began downing mug after mug of LS so fast that the eye could not follow.

Kili couldn't keep up and soon called a surrender.

"Yes!"
Amarea shouted, laughing and pointing at Elena.
"Pay up elf!"

Grumbling Elena handed the money over to the hobbity wizard while Fili and Kili (now hyped up on sugar and no longer remembered the contest they had just partaken in) started running all over the party while laughing and gigging like crazy.

Éomer, who was charge of the LS Drinking Game, watched the two dwarves and was currently wondering why he even started games like this.

I should have stopped this after Pippin won his game....

But now it was too late, a crowd had formed and everyone wanted a chance to see how much LS they could consume. So ignoring all reason Éomer called out, "Who's next?"

"I'll go."
A man stepped forward and took his seat at the table.

"What's your name?" Éomer asked as he prepared the next round of drinks.

"Arbrandir." He replied.

"Alright then," Éomer turned to the crowd once again, "who is going to challenge him?"

A lone voice rang out boldly, "I'll do it."

The crowd parted and a familiar hobbit walked upnto the table and sat herself down in the seat opposite Arbrandir.

"And you are?" Éomer asked.

"Esmerelda's my name and food is my life."

Esmerelda smiled sweetly at Arbrandir as she grabbed her first mug of LS.

"This is your last chance to back out."

Arbrandir looked at her, clearly unimpressed.

"Aren't you that one hobbit who gets a sugar rush after only eating 10 Dairy Queen Blizzards?" He asked with a smirk.

"That was strictly for humor purposes. I can handle more sugar than that." Esmerelda replied, still smiling her sweetest.
"The question is, can you?"

Arbrandir scoffed and grabbed his own mug of LS.
"I can beat a hobbit any day. Let the game begin."

Éomer, who was beyond confused and wondering how this silly competition got so serious, readied himself to start the game.

"Ready, set, go!"

Arbrandir was about to drink, only to stare in utter disbelief as Esmerelda slammed her empty mug on the table.

Everyone gaped at her in shock as she reached for another mug.

"You my friend," she said sweetly, "have just fallen victim to one of the classic blunders."

Arbrandir looked at her in confusion as she continued indirectly quoting.

"The most famous one is Never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only less slightly known is this, Never go against a hobbit when your pride is on the line!"

And just like that Esmerelda was reaching for her fifth mug of LS having finished three already, and by the time this sentence was done being typed she was on her fifteenth.

Yes folks, Esmerelda was totally taking advantage of the whole "You can learn everything there is to know about hobbits and they can still surprise you" thing.

Meanwhile Arbrandir was wishing he had backed out when he could as the hobbit lass with a black hole for a stomach downed twenty mugs of LS.

Now the drinking game can be won two ways, if an opponent can't handle their LS, or if one surrenders. And if what was about to happen in the next paragraph did not happen, Esmerelda would have won.

Just as she was reaching for her 70th mug a familiar and unwelcome face entered her line of vision.

Legolas!!!!! Argh why must you show up now?!?!?

"I FORFEIT!"
Faster than a speeding Radagast, the hobbit vanished from the table and disappeared into the confused crowd of onlookers.

"Uh, the winner is Arbrandir." Éomer announced wondering what had just happened.

In the background everyone could hear Fili, Kili, and Pippin singing at the top of their lungs, "FAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR OOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR THE MIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYY MOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNTAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSSS COOOOOLLLLLDDDDD TOOOOOPO DUUUUUUNNNGEEEEEEEOOOOONNNNNSSSS DEEEEEEP AND CAAAAAVVVVVEEERRRRRNNNNSSSS OOOOOLLLLLLDDDDD-"
They were cut off by a psycho Merry screaming as he wielded a large sledge hammer and furiously destroyed the speakers.

Not knowing that there was a backup set of speakers just waiting to be used.

ππππ

And that was chapter one folks! I meant to have it out yesterday but that didn't happen obviously.

So part one of the party is over, part two will continue in the next chapter.

And if your character wasn't introduced in this chapter do not fear! For they shall appear in the next chapter which will wrap up the party.

So make sure to vote and let me know what you think.

Alright I'm out.