(Comment if you've seen the animated LOTR. I haven't yet, but I want to watch it just for fun)

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"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(Took me about two minutes to type all that. Your're welcome)

Es screamed as she ran all over the Shire, trying to evade her relentless pursuers.

"She's going that way! Grab her!" Caladhiel shouted.

"How is she running that fast?!" Pely exclaimed as the nimble hobbit easily slipped past her.

"Don't you know?" Tatharel asked from where she stood quietly next to Pearl watching Caladhiel, Pely, and Piper trying (and hopelessly failing) to catch a speeding Esmerelda. "Hobbits can reach speeds of up to 90 miles per hour when in danger."

"Or 150 miles per hour if food is involved." Pearl added matter-of-factly while she continued to brush her curly, light brown hair out of her face. It was really windy that day for some reason and it was starting to make her annoyed.

"Really?" Caladhiel stopped chasing after Es for a moment and looked curiously at Tatharel and Pearl. The moment that the red headed elleth stopped running the her frizzy hair started blowing like crazy in front of her face. "Wow, hobbits really do never cease to surprise people."

Tatharel and Pearl nodded proudly.

"Hey Caladhiel?! A little help?!" Piper shouted as Es ran circles around her before vanishing in a cloud of dust with Pely on her heels.

"Why don't you two help?" Caladhiel asked the two observing hobbits. "Isn't there a way to slow her down?"

Tatharel shrugged. "As long as she doesn't want to be caught, she's not going to stop."

"She could all the way to Mordor and be back in three minutes if she wanted to." Pearl added. "Except, there's a giant crater between Rohan and Gondor, so she'd have to take the long away around which would set her back four minutes."

"But surely she'd be able to run down into the crater and up the other side?" Tatharel suggested.

*In the background Es pauses to taunt the three elves chasing her*

"No, not if the crater has filled up with water." Pearl replied.

*The three elleths try to surround Es only to find that she's running around the three of them*

"Why would the crater fill with water?" Tatharel asked.

"There are a lot of underwater lakes and rivers. Considering where the crater is, there is a chance that it could fill up with water."

*Es sips some grape juice out of cup with a bendy straw while reading the latest issue of Shire Monthly while still being chased by elves*

"Okay, so let's assume that the crater has been filled with water," Tatharel continued, "by the time Es would arrive there she'd have already gained enough speed to run over the water without sinking correct? And if she maintained the speed on the turn-around in Mordor wouldn't she be able to run back the same way?"

"The crater couldn't completely fill up with water Tatharel, it isn't possible. However there would be enough to submerge a hobbit, and if Es has to run downhill into the crater and there is water at the bottom she would stumble and fall into the water preventing her from running. It's like how a car will stop driving if it is driven into water."

*The three elleths try to catch Es in a giant net but she's running so fast that breaks through the net without trouble*

"Point made Pearl, but what if the crater doesn't fill with water?"

"Then there is a slight chance (depending on how deep the crater is) that it could fill with molten lava. There is no way she can run over that and live."

*A metal cage falls over Es but once again she breaks through the trap*

"But aren't we hobbits full of surprises? And since we're talking about Esmerelda here, wouldn't she be able to do it?"

"Perhaps, if she was running fast enough she could probably run over the lava without getting melted to death."

*Es starts singing the Hobbit Drinking Medley as the three elleths finally come up with a plan to trap the running hobbit*

"So in conclusion: Esmerelda could run from here to Mordor and back in under three minutes if she goes through the crater."

"Exactly."

*The three elleths set out a mega large three cheese double cheese cheese stuffed crust cheese pizza with extra cheese topped with macaroni and cheese and sprinkled with parmesan cheese with a side of cheesy bread sticks and cheesy cheese nacho cheese dip and watched as Es stops to eat the pizza of her dreams and then pounce on the unsuspecting hobbit*

"No! Let me go! I am fire! I am death!" Es shouted in outrage.

"You are a drama queen!" John Watson said suddenly appearing in the story.

"Who's that?" Pearl asked tilting her head to the side.

"I don't know, but he kind of looks like Bilbo when he was 50."

Es briefly stopped her struggling and her eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head.

"John?! WHAT IN THE NAME OF FEANOR ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WHY AREN'T YOU IN YOUR DIMENSION?!"

"Looking for Sherlock. You haven't seen him around here have you?"

"NOT UNLESS HE'S A GIANT DRAGON WHICH HE IS NOT! GET BACK TO YOUR DIMENSION THIS INSTANT!"

"I can't... I don't know how."

All the color drained from Esmerelda's face and she once again tried to free herself from the iron grips of the elleths.

"You guys gotta let me go! I have to get to my lab!"

"Your lab?" Piper asked in confusion.

"Yes my lab! I have to get to my lab immediately!"

"Nice try Es, but you're not getting out of this. You've put it off for long enough." Caladhiel replied narrowing her eyes.

"You don't understand! Something is wrong, terribly wrong! I have to get to my lab!"

"Esmerelda Brandybuck you said the you would go on a date with Legolas and by golly you're going!" Pely's voice left no room for argument.

"Wait a minute: the whole reason you guys were chasing Es was so that you could force her to go on a date with Legolas?!" Pearl couldn't believe it.

"Doesn't that seem weird? An elf and a hobbit going on a date?" Tatharel asked skeptically.

"Considering that in our last adventure we faced an army of evil Balrog/Cat hybrids created by an evil kitten named ThunderPuff who has tried to take over Middle Earth twice, a hobbit and an elf going on a date is nothing." Piper replied.

"Plus in my personal opinion, Esmerelda and Legolas are SO cute together." Caladhiel sighed.

"You're not supposed to have an opinion." Es grumbled.

"Your face isn't supposed to have an opinion." Caladhiel shot back.

"Whoa everyone, calm down." Tatharel looked nervously from Caladhiel to Es. A fight didn't seem too far off and neither she nor Pearl wanted to be apart of it.

"Well, good luck on your date Es, I guess..." Tatharel said awkwardly as she backed away with Pearl right beside her.

"Yeah, good luck Es." Pearl added, then both hobbits quickly disappeared in a cloud if dust. Hobbits really can go from 0 to 90 in less than a second.

And so the three elleths led Es away where they would begin "assisting" her in getting ready for her date. Leaving poor John to wonder where Sherlock went and how he got stuck in this situation in the first place.

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Meanwhile In Mirkwood...

"Are you sure that this is a good idea Phoenix? Because I'm pretty sure she hates my guts at the moment."

"Whaaaaaaaaaat? Come on Legolas: a girl, hating your guts? You're even more crazy than I thought big brother."

"I'm serious Phoenix! I don't think that this is going to work out, there is no possible way."

"Hey you're the one who asked her if she would go on a date with you, and I'm the one who made it happen." Phoenix flashed a triumphant smile while Legolas looked at his little brother skeptically. 

"How exactly did you become a Jedi anyway? Seems kind of random to me."

Phoenix's eyes went wide with horror.

"How did you know that I was Jedi?! Adar and I have wiped your memory using the Jedi Mind Trick more than anyone on the planet!"

"It doesn't work on me for some reason." Legolas shrugged. "You, father, Lindir, and Pippin seemed so desperate to keep it a secret that I just went along with it and pretended that you guys weren't Jedi."

"Wow," Phoenix said actually impressed with his brother for once. "How can dad stand there and say that there is no possible way for you to be a Jedi?"

Legolas shrugged again. "Have you asked him?"

"Dozens of times! I even bring up all the crazy inhuman physically impossible stunts you pull in battle and he still denies the possibility of you being a Jedi!"

Flashback to yesterday....

"Adar, are you 100% certain without any doubt whatsoever in your mind that there is absolutely no way at all that Legolas can use the Force?" 

Without even glancing in his son's direction while watching Titanic for the millionth time and still getting emotional every time "My Heart Will Go On" starts playing because for reasons no one understands it reminds Thranduil of his wife whom he misses so much that some nights he cries himself to sleep and becomes physically ill (yes I just threw some sadness in here. Blame Sprinkles) the elvenking answered his son's question in the most bored way possible.

"Yes Phoenix, there isn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind that Legolas cannot use the Force and he will never become a Jedi."

"And you're sure about that?"

"Absolutely."

"What about him being able to surf down stairs on a shield?"

"The ground was wet from the rain, he merely slipped and managed to keep his balance as all elves can."

"What about him killing a Mumakil all on his own armed with only a bow? That's pretty much impossible."

"Glorfindel killed a Balrog, compared to that your brother's kill was nothing."

"What about him land surfing on an orc?"

"Gravity and loose earth combined with the momentum of his jump."

"Dwarf surfing?"

"Any elf can do that. Why we would is beyond me."

"DEFYING THE FREAKING LAWS OF GRAVITY AND PHYSICS BY LEAPING FROM ROCK TO ROCK AS THEY FALL FROM A BRIDGE LIKE SUPER FREAKING MARIO BROS?!?!"

"Your brother is a freak of nature Phoenix. He is not a Jedi."

Phoenix couldn't believe this at all.

"You are seriously going to sit there and deny that even though Legolas can do things that normal elves cannot do but there is absolutely no way that he can be a Jedi?"

Thranduil pointed at his son (without looking away from his TV) and said, "Bingo."

Phoenix groaned and left.

Unbelievable.

Back to Present Day...

"Phoenix? Hello? You still there?"

Phoenix shook his head and left his flashback.

"Sorry bro, yeah I don't know about you Legolas, but I'm pretty sure that adar is keeping something from us."

"I think so too," Legolas replied as he dusted off his Lego collection. 

Phoenix rested his chin on the back of his hand and pondered over this new suspicion of his. Why didn't their father want Legolas to train as a Jedi? It was weird...

Suddenly, he got an idea!

"Legolas! I suddenly have an idea!"

"Oh really?" Legolas glanced at Phoenix while dusting off his Lego Smaug.

"I'm going to train you!"

"Train me?"

"To be a Jedi!"

Legolas ceased his dusting for a moment.

He thought about what Phoenix said, then he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. 

"I'm getting a headache just from thinking about all the terrible awful things that could come from this Phoenix..."

Phoenix couldn't believe this!

"I can't believe this!" Phoenix exclaimed. "You have the chance to be a Jedi, but you won't take it because you're afraid of all the bad things that might come from it!"

"I don't know," Legolas sighed and placed Lego Smaug back inside Lego Erebor where a small pile of Lego gold and jewels as well as a little Lego Bilbo stood, "I mean, our father is a Jedi Master, I'm sure that he knows what he's doing and there's probably a very good reason why he decided not to train me."

"That's just it Legolas! He has decided not to train you so that I can!"

"When did I ever say that I wanted to be a Jedi?"

"Who doesn't want to be a Jedi? We're awesome!"

"I'm already awesome Phoenix, in fact I think I was born with a little too much awesome." Legolas replied with a frown. "I just want to be a regular, normal elf and since there's no chance of that happening anytime soon, I don't want to make things worse by becoming a Jedi."

Phoenix tilted his head to the side, considered his brother's words, and said: "Dad was right, you are a freak."

Legolas rolled his eyes, "Thanks Phoenix."

Turning back to his dusting Phoenix decided to refrain from mentioning anything Jedi related until later.

"I've decided to refrain from mentioning anything Jedi related until later." Phoenix announced.

"How about forgetting it all together?" Legolas suggested, getting really annoyed with his brother.

The read head put his hands up in surrender.

"Alright fine. Have it your way."

Phoenix watched his brother dust for a little while longer before asking, "So, shouldn't you be getting ready for your date tonight?"

Legolas' only reply was standing up and gesturing to himself with a very irritated look on his face to which Phoenix said, "Oh yeah."

"By the way Phoenix, what exactly do you and the rest of your "Prank Pals" have planned for me and Es?" 

Phoenix huffed as if he was offended, which he was.

"I am offended. First of all we are "The Read Headed Trio" not "Prank Pals" get it right. Second of all, don't worry! We have everything taken care of!"

"Is that so?" Legolas didn't believe his brother for even a second.

"Well... I'm sure that Caladhiel and Piper know what they're doing, and Pely and Shazad agreed to help out."

"Who's Shazad?"

"You don't know? She's Elladan and Elrohir's sister? Black hair? Visits every now and then? Always carries a duffle bag around with her wherever she goes?"

Legolas blinked and Phoenix knew that his brother was clueless as usual.

"I can tell that you're clueless as usual."

"Could you please keep your thoughts to yourself?" Legolas snapped.

"Sorry. But seriously Legolas, I promise you that nothing is going to go wrong on your date."

"Doesn't it seem weird to you? Before Es knew that I liked her we hung out all the time, now that she knows the idea of hanging out with me makes her angry. Why is that Phoenix?"

"How should I know? Girls are strange, hobbits are strange, and Esmerelda is stranger than most."

"Good point." Legolas sighed and wondered for the billionth time (it really was the billionth time, he was keeping track) if this was a good idea.

"Well, we should probably get going. Wouldn't want to be late!" Phoenix pushed Legolas out of his room and into the hall.

"By the way Phoenix, was adar serious about kicking us out of the house?" Legolas asked nervously.

"Um... I don't think so? Ever since Varonwe disappeared I don't think he's even thought about kicking us out."

"Hmm, I wonder where Varonwe is at anyway?"

Phoenix shrugged. "Who knows? Probably out doing some Ranger stuff that may or may not affect us in the not too distant future." 

Legolas nodded. "You're probably right."

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Meanwhile in Some Random Place in Middle Earth...

Something was wrong, really wrong.

Really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY bad.

Varonwe (who was mentioned earlier) had just witnessed something terrible from where he lay hidden among the rocks. What was this terrible thing that our mysterious Ranger had just witnessed?

I'll tell you: in a little corner of Middle Earth known as Rhun, something terrible had just taken place. The terrible thing was, Varonwe had just watched as Rhun vanished from the face of the Middle Earth. There was nothing there now, just an empty void.

"Not good," Varonwe muttered to himself, "not good at all."

The Ranger knew that if Rhun could vanish, so could other places in Middle Earth. The question(s) was why did Rhun suddenly disappear and why did it disappear?

There were only two things the Ranger could do, alert those whom he knew could do something about this situation, and hope that they were able to stop this before another land (with all of its people) disappeared.

Pulling his hood over his head, Varonwe turned from the void before him and raced back to the nearest well known place in Middle Earth.

Unnoticed by the Ranger, the one responsible for the vanishing of Rhun, was laughing maniacally from a hidden location that I am not allowed to reveal to you yet.

"It worked! I can't believe it worked!"

The evil figure laughed, oh how they laughed! 

That was until they ran short of breath and started coughing violently as they searched desperately for a glass of water.

Once they emptied the glass the laughing resumed, only to end abruptly as a robot-sounding voice announced: Power Levels Low. Immediate recharging of the battery is recommended.  

"And how long will that take?"

Approximately 85 years.

"85 YEARS?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

Do not get mad at me. Powering a device capable of sending entire fictional countries into oblivion requires a lot of energy. I am just giving you the facts.

"Argh! I don't have time for this! Is it possible for me to replace the energy source?"

Well duh. Of course it is. However where you are going to find something with enough energy to power this machine for the desired time is beyond me.

"You just leave that to me..."

Jumping from the large chair they sat in and scampering across the smooth floor, the figure disappeared down a small doorway, and after a flash of blue light followed, the figure was gone.

He is gone then. Finally. Now I can get back to my movie.

*a large screen flashes on and The Fellowship of the Ring begins*

Ah yes. I can never get tired of watching these films. It is a shame that soon no one will be able to enjoy them anymore.

And with that our robot companion began his LOTR marathon, which was unfortunately his last.