Let's see...

Some stuff with some characters happened...

I attempted to form some kind of plot...

I still don't know who half of the characters are...

ARGH WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!?!!? 

*deep breaths*

Okay, calm down.
You're the narrator, you've got this.

*ahem*

Alrighty then, it is time to get this show started once again! It's been too long and I am tired of constant procrastination! 

But first, I must figure out where I'm at, and there is only one way to do so! 

CUE EPIC NARRATOR VOICE 

Previously on Lord of the Rings: Tales of Even More Random Craziness and Humor (can we please abbreviate that title or something?) 

Three of our beloved characters Varonwe, Arbrandir, and Lindir set off on a dangerous quest that only Varonwe actually knows about and ended up falling into the lair of the villainous kitten Thunderpuff. 

Shazad revealed to Phoenix and Faramir that she was secretly in possession of a dragon egg. Why she would reveal something as serious as that to those two is a mystery. 

The Fourth Wall Breakers (FWB) discussed a disturbance in the fictional realm of their story causing Thranduil and Bilbo to go and investigate. Meanwhile, Esmerelda and Boromir are left to train a potential noob in the art of Fourth Wall Breaking. 

Thundersparkle, the evil kitten girlfriend of Thunderpuff, is on a mission to find a power source powerful enough to power his machine of powerful power which can destroy the fictional realm of this one fanfiction as we know it. 

And as always, a bunch of random storylines involving other minor characters are taking place in the background. Whether or not they make any sense is not of importance in this story. 

In fact, nothing is important in this story. That's the whole idea. Everything that happens is done for the pure fun of making absolutely no sense. Were this a serious novel then it would be the opposite of what I just said. 

Will our heroes escape the clutches of a deranged kitten? 

Will the secret of the dragon egg remain secret?

Will the FWB eventually use their powers for something useful?

Will Thundersparkle find the powerful power source of power? 

Will the other minor characters get any pagetime? 

Will the writer of this story actually stick to a regular updating schedule? 

Find out in: LOTR:TOEMRCAH (see that's much easier to say than the whole thing)

Thanks Epic Narrator Voice! 

You're welcome

Alright, now that I'm caught up to speed with my own story, I just need to figure out where I want to continue.

I've got a few major plotlines to choose from...

I must do this carefully, if I make the wrong decision this entire story could be in jeopardy! I've already spent too much time narrating my own narrating struggles instead of just narrating the story.

Hmm...

Very well then, I shall choose according to the most ancient of choosing ceremonies. 

*takes a deep* 

*closes eyes*

Eeny meeny miny moe
Catch a hobbit by the toe
If he hollers let him go
The voices told me to pick the very best one
And
You
Are
It!

ON WITH THE STORY