⌜ chapter ten ⌟

"I'm surprised you haven't asked for this stuff back yet." Jess says as she sits down next to MJ with her two necklaces and two rings. "It's been a couple days since you were hurt. You're never not wearing them."

"I guess I just haven't really been in the mood for jewelry." She says as she slides the rings onto their respective fingers.

"I'd hardly call your dad's dog tags jewelry."

"Yeah, well..." MJ sighs. "Can you help me with the clasp on this? My shoulder's still bugging me a little."

"Yeah." Jess stands up and walks behind MJ to put the gold necklace on her — the one with her initials.

As Jess sits back down, MJ looks at the two dog tags in her hand. They're on the same silver chain that they've been on for years, probably the same chain that he wore them on when he was in the military.

"When did he serve?" Jess asks. "Sam never really talked about your dad."

"Probably because he wasn't much of a dad." MJ mutters. "He served in the early '70's, maybe ten years before I was born. He was a Marine during the Vietnam War."

"Yeah?" Shane looks at her. "I had some family that served around then. What company was he in?"

"Echo 2/1." She tells him. "Corporal John Winchester."

He nods as he turns back to his food. He knows the name sounds familiar, he just doesn't know from where.

MJ sighs as she puts the chain over her head and then pulls her hair out of it afterward. She woke up with them around her neck after she and Dean got out of hell, hasn't taken them off since. And John never asked.

"Here, let me help you." Jack says as MJ starts to get up, and she then reaches for his hands. He pulls her to her feet, and she smiles up at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, kiddo." She tells him, and he nods, happy to hear it. She's still not a hundred percent, but she could've stood up on her own. She only let him help because he's been worried about her — something that they can all see.

Sophia and Ellie are sitting together​ by the fire, and MJ smiles as she looks at them. She looks to the side and sees Carol, the older woman smiles at her.

"Thank you." She mouths, and MJ nods. She didn't get to thank her before because when she went in to do just that, it was when MJ lost it and started crying on her shoulder.

Glenn stands up from his chair then and walks over toward the big gray tent that's right there near where they're eating breakfast. He then turns to face everyone, who's sitting around talking while they eat.

"Um, guys." He gets their attention and each of them looks up, still eating. "So... The barn's full of walkers." He tells them, and everyone stops eating as they straighten up.

Rick and MJ look at each other and then the former gets to his feet. They start in the direction of the barn, and all of their people follow after them. They stop a few feet back, and Shane continues forward to the door, looking inside through a slit. A walker steps right up into his view, and he turns around.

"You cannot tell me you're alright with this." He says as he walks past Rick.

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land." Rick tells him.

"God, this is our lives, man!"

"Lower your voice." Glenn says as he looks at him.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea speaks up.

"It ain't right. Not remotely." T-Dog says, and then Shane starts up again.

"Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time."

"We can't go." Rick tells him.

"Why, Rick? Why?"

"Because we have something good here, you moron. We have shelter and food. Hell, we have medical care." MJ says as she looks over at him. "Leaving would be stupid!"

"Tell your doctor husband to come with us, we'll have medical care then too." Shane says, and she clenches her teeth. "I don't care about your marital issues. The survival of this camp is more damn important."

"How about you leave my marriage — the father of my children — out of it?" She says, knowing that Ellie's standing close by with Carol and Sophia. Shane's gaze flits to the little brunette and he grinds his teeth.

"Let MJ and I talk to Hershel." Rick says. "Let us figure it out."

"Man, what are you gonna figure out?!" He moves toward Rick, and Lori gets in his way. She puts her hand on his chest and pushes him back.

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land."

Dale takes a step forward. "Hershel sees those things in there as people." He says, and their leaders both look at him. "Sick people. His wife, his-his stepson."

"You knew?" MJ questions.

"Yesterday." He nods. "I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited the night?" Shane questions.

"I thought we could survive one more night." Dale tells him. "We did. I was waiting till this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one."

"This man is crazy, Rick. If Hershel thinks those things are alive or— No!" He snaps when Rick tries to get him to calm down.

The doors suddenly start to rattle, the walkers are drawn to the sound of all the arguing. The others step back as Rick and MJ turn back to face the barn.

Rick looks down at MJ. "I don't want to bring your relationship with Matt into this, but is there any way you can talk to him?"

"If Hershel sees them as people, Matt does too." She tells him. "Matt's his nephew. It's his aunt in there, and his younger cousin."

"Alright." He sighs. "We'll figure something out." He says, and she nods.

"Mom?" Ellie walks over, and MJ kneels down to her height. "Why is everyone so scared?" She asks. Matt's kept her away from the walkers for the most part.

MJ looks up at Rick for a second then takes a deep breath as she turns her attention back to her daughter. "It's complicated, baby, but you don't have anything to worry about. Me and Rick will take care of everything." She tells her. "Why don't you, Jack, Sophia, and Carl go back up to the camp, huh? Finish your breakfast." She says, and Ellie nods.

MJ stands up straight, and the four kids start leaving the area, but then Ellie stops and turns around. "Mom, where's Matty?" She asks, and her mom's jaw tightens. "I tried to ask Dad, but he just said that he didn't know. And then he started crying when he thought I was asleep. Where is he?"

"Matty is... Matty died, baby." She tells her, not wanting to lie to her. Not having a good lie to tell her. "Your brother got sick, and there was nothing that I could do. He's gone, babe."

"Oh." She looks down, and Jack rests his hand on her shoulder. "I miss him." She turns around and walks away from them.

Rick raises his hand to place it on MJ's shoulder, but she backs away from him. She shakes her head and then turns around and walks away from the group.

—

Rick and MJ walk up to the farmhouse, and he glances at her before knocking on the front door. "Come on in!" They hear Hershel call from inside.

They head into the dining room and see the older, white-haired man sitting at the table there. "A little light reading for lunch?" He asks as the two look down at Hershel.

"Been working so hard lately, I get my studying where I can." He tells them.

"Well, you know we can help you out with your work."

"It's my field to tend." He looks up at them, annoyed.

Rick looks at MJ, and she nods. "We found the barn." He says, turning back to Hershel, who's gone back to reading.

"Leave it be."

"Well, we'd like to talk about it, but either way — your barn, your farm, your say."

"I don't want to talk about the barn. I don't want to debate." Hershel tells them as Matt walks into the room.

"Not a debate, a discussion." Rick tells him.

"What's going on in here?" Matt asks.

"Nothing that concerns you." MJ says as she looks at him. "Not yet, anyway."

Hershel looks up at Rick and MJ, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "I need you and your group gone by the end of the week." He tells them, and Matt immediately looks down at him.

MJ's teeth clench as Rick looks at her. "We've talked to Dale." She says, looking at Hershel and nobody else. "You and I have our differences with the way that we look at the walkers. Those...people—" He then looks up at her. "—they may be dead, they may be alive. But our people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you. You send us out there and that can change."

"I've given you safe harbor. My conscience is clear." He says and takes a drink from his glass.

"This farm..." She sighs. "This farm is special. You've been shielded from what's been going on out there. Dale said you saw everything that happened on the news. Well, it's been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling." He gets up to walk away from them. "My son turned." She tells him, and he stops in his tracks. "I sat with him as he died. And then he came back, but it wasn't him anymore. He went after Jack — his best friend, and he tried to kill him."

Hershel continues walking, and Rick goes after him. "The first time I saw a walker it was just half a body snapping at MJ from the ground. My inclination wasn't to kill it..."

"Jr. turned?" Matt asks, clearly choked up, and MJ looks up at him. "You just said that he didn't make it."

"What did you want me to tell you, Matt?"

"The truth." He says, and she scoffs.

"Nobody wants to hear the truth." She points into the kitchen where Rick's trying to talk to Hershel. "I think that's​ pretty clear." She leaves the house, and he follows her back to the camp.

"Hey, talk to me!" Matt grabs her arm and makes her turn around.

"I don't​ want to talk, Matt! I don't want to talk about that night​! I can't!" She snaps as she looks at him.

Everyone makes their way out of their tents, and Carol and Lori take Sophia, Ellie, and Carl back toward the house. Glenn, T-Dog, Jess, Andrea, Jack, and Daryl all look at them.

"I have to know what happened." Matt says.

"No, you don't. And you don't want to know either." MJ shakes her head. "Do us both a favor and just remember him as he was. He was fourteen and he was happy. He was a smart, selfless, amazing person and he was our son. That is how you should remember him. Not as what happened to his body."

He shakes his head as he looks down. "I have to know. I just do." He tells her.

"You have to?" She questions. "Why do you have to?"

"Because he's my son." He says. "I have to know what happened to him."

"What happened? What happened is I failed again." She says. "I had the boys, and it was getting dark. We were tired and we were all alone, and we were scared. We were looking for a place to hole up for the night and we turned a corner. The alley was full of them — the walkers. Fifteen, twenty — I don't know."

"So you ran?"

She nods. "And they followed us. Jack was ahead, and I had Jr.'s hand. I was pulling him with me, but he was tired. We started to fall farther behind, and then he was ripped from my grasp. I stopped and saw him trying to get away from them. He was screaming, begging me to help him, to save him. Hearing him like that... Something just changed, and all I saw was red. I pulled my gun out and killed maybe half, but it wasn't enough. He got bit, and I ran over as he screamed in pain. I killed more with my knife, but then I lost it when two came at me. And I just started swinging. I beat the hell out of them until I was covered in their blood.

"Jack had Matty at this point, and he got my attention. We ran and we hid at the closest house we could find. I didn't..." She wipes tears from her face. "I hadn't seen anyone turn at this point, I didn't know that a bite would infect him — make him change. I just didn't know. So, I cleaned up the wound and got the bleeding to stop. I thought he just needed time to heal, but then he got so sick and the fever..." She pushes her hair back as tears roll down her face. "I held him as he died, heard him take his last breath.

"I needed to check on Jack and tell him that he was gone. I needed to change out of my bloody clothes, so I left the room. And Jack went in to say his goodbyes, but then he woke up. And he went after Jack, he was trying to bite him. And I... I stood there, I was frozen. And then I just snapped out of it, hearing Jack beg him to stop and seeing nothing of my son in the eyes of this... He didn't recognize Jack, he didn't care that he was trying to kill his best friend. So, I did what I had to do for Jack, I had to save him at least." She inhales, her breath shaky. "I shot him...in the head. I shot Jr."

"I-I..." Matt fumbles as he looks down at the ground.

"And now I'm here, and I find out that you think these are just sick people." She says. "You think he was just sick? So what would that mean? That...I killed our son?"

"I don't... I don't know..." He shakes his head as he looks up at her.

Her hands ball up into fists and she punches him. Matt stumbles back, holding his jaw. "I didn't​ kill him!" She snaps as she pushes him back. He keeps backing up, never even raising his arms to shield himself.

Everyone else runs forward then, and Daryl wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her away from Matt. She's sobbing, still screaming at him that she didn't kill their son. Rick and Shane are with them at this point, and Rick's trying to figure out what's going on.

"I didn't kill him. I didn't kill him." MJ's repeating.

"I know." Daryl's voice is low, by her ear.

"I love him. He's my baby." Her legs give out, and Daryl drops to the ground with her, his arms are still around her, but he's not restraining her anymore.

"Ellie." Jack's voice snaps her out of it, and she starts looking around for her daughter.

MJ's eyes land on the scared twelve-year-old as she's looking back and forth between her parents. Ellie looks at her mom with tears in her eyes and she steps back. She starts to run away from them, and Matt immediately goes after her. MJ pushes herself off the ground and walks away from the group.