Trigger warning: another warning, before you start please know that this might be graphic for some people and does have bullying, self harm etc.

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Alex used to be a happy child, growing up people used to say that she always had a smile on her face, she had everything she wanted: she had loving parents, amazing friends and she had no reason to ever be upset about anything. When she was a child she always thought that the world was amazing, she had no worries in the world.

Her life started falling apart as soon as she turned 12 years old, her father was diagnosed with incurable cancer. Everything started to get taken from her, most of the families money went into treatments for the father, as the weeks went by, her father could not even get out of bed. Her mother had to sell their house and they moved into a tiny house, the house had only one bedroom which she had to share with her mother and every other room was so small that you would take one step and end up in a different room.

Alex's father died a year later, her mother turned to drugs and alcohol and started to forget about her young girl. Alex was too young to be dealing with her problems, her mother got worse by the day and soon she felt like she not only lost her father, but she also lost her mother. Her mother would spend all their money on alcohol and Alex often had nothing to eat. Her mother forgot about her when she was sober, which wasn't often and she abused her when she was drunk.

If all of that wasn't enough, Alex's school life was falling apart, she learned that people are not as they seem. All her "friends" had comforted her when her father died but as the days passed they started leaving her too. She didn't notice it at first because school was all she had to look forward too. She thought that when she started high school that things would be better, that it would be a new stat but it wasn't, in fact, high school was 100 times worse. People started calling her a nerd and making fun of her because she didn't have new clothes, shoes, electronics or anything that they had. That's when the bullying officially started, one day when Alex went to school, she felt nervous, like something was going to happen, a leg had appeared out of nowhere and she tripped. She fell and all her stuff fell to the ground, no one helped her up, they just laughed and kicked the things around.

Alex refused to let things bother her, she knew that if she just kept moving on that things would get better. At first, it was just words, other girls and sometimes boys would be rude or they would insult her. The insults would start from the time she would enter the school doors, they would continue as she went to her locker and they would be the worst during classes. The teachers didn't care, in fact, they didn't even notice most of the time. She couldn't tell anyone, her mother wouldn't care, in fact, her mother was even worse then the teens, the bruises, and cuts all over her body proved it.

Alex just wanted one friend, one person in her shitty life to be there for her, one person that wouldn't hurt or insult her. Whenever she approached anyone they would either walk away or laugh at her expense. The guidance counsellors and teachers she went to didn't care as well, they just told her that she'll find friends eventually and gave her meaningless advice. The words turned to actions at school, every day she would get shoved, tripped, punched, scraped and physically hurt. The pain just turned to emptiness.

 Alex didn't want it to come to her self-harming, she just wanted the emptiness she felt every day to go away. The blade she held in her hands was about the size of a finger and she spent hours sharpening it on a rock. Tears ran down her face as she brought the blade towards her skin, just as the ice cold blade pressed into her skin, she immediately brought it up, she was terrified and wasn't thinking straight. Then she thought about her "mom" and all the words and actions from everyone at school and pressed the blade down and this time she didn't stop. She watched as the blood dripped from her arm and thought to herself why she was still alive, she just wanted to die but death was too scary for Alex to think about.

At school the next day, something was different in the air, she only got shoved once and not multiple time as usual. A boy walked up to her, he smiled at her and said "hey, Alex, right?", she quickly nodded, too shocked to say anything. "I'm James, I'm in a few of your classes, I was wondering if you would want to go out sometimes?", he looked pretty nervous, Alex froze, no one knew how long she hoped for a guy to ask her out and had almost given up hope, "I would love too" she said, smiling. "Great! Do you want to come over after school?" he said as a smile grew on his face? Alex didn't even think of the consequences and immediately agreed. James walked her to all of her classes and people left her alone, she thought it was a miracle. The last time Alex had been this happy was before her dad died and she didn't want to mess anything up.

James made her feel special, he talked to her, sat with her at lunch and made her feel like the most amazing girl in the world. When school ended he drove her over to his house, when they got there, all she could think about is how much she liked him and how lucky she was. They went up to his room, Alex didn't realize how horrible a boy could be, James asked her to take off her shirt, "why?" she said, confused. "I just want to make you feel as amazing because you deserve it", he had a small smile on, but she didn't notice. Alex didn't understand, so she listened to what James told her and no matter how much she cried, James wouldn't stop he would just repeat the words "Don't worry, I love you" and Alex, being so desperate for love, didn't understand that what he was doing, wasn't love and believed every word he said.

As Alex approached the door to her home, returning from James' house, she heard noises, was her mother home? Fear sparked through her, her mother was rarely home and when she was Alex was terrified. She opened the door and there her mother was, she had a lit cigarette in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other, there was no way for Alex to sneak around her. "Finally you're home, trying to avoid me?" her mother's raspy voice said coldly. Alex looked down, "no, mother". "You always hated me but I've always hated you more, you're just another burden your father left me with", her words stung but Alex knew she was just drunk. "I have to teach you a lesson for leaving this house a mess" her mother exclaimed.

Now the house was messy but it wasn't because of Alex, the house was littered with cigarette buds, broken alcohol bottles, crushed beer cans and vomit, from when her mother comes home. Right now the look on her mothers face scared her out of her mind, her mother approached her slowly and Alex backed up until her back hit a wall, there was nowhere to go. Her brought the lit end of the cigarette and pressed it against Alex's open skin, Alex let out a piercing cry, her skin blistered and burned but her mother didn't care. She continued to press it more times and finally stopped, Alex's skin was blistering and peeling and she was shaking and her shirt was soaked with tears. "Good, now clean this mess up" her mom uttered before collapsing onto the bed.

The next day Alex went to school and was looking for James, she was a bit scared of him because of last night but she believed him when he said he loved her. Finally, she saw him with his friends, they noticed her walking over and nudged James and laughed. James turned around, the expression on his face was not the boy that asked her out but it was a boy she didn't recognize. "James?" Alex questioned, confusion spreading across her face. "Alex, how...amazing to see you" he said sarcastically and his friends laughed, "last night-" she started to say but was cut off by James. "Last night was a one-time thing, I don't have sex with freaks" he sneered and his friends rolled their eyes at her expense. The situation wasn't sinking in, "you said you loved me..." Alex pleaded, "I only said that so that I could have sex with you" he bluntly stated.

James and his friends laughed as tears ran down Alex's face. "It wasn't real?" she whispered not believing that her life could get any worse. James laughed even harder "you actually thought that someone like me could over really like someone like you?" he smirked as the tears started running even faster. James glanced at her "I was the only one who actually completed the bet, no one else wanted to date you or have sex with you." The other boys each passed bills from their wallets into James' awaiting hand. "Was any of it real?" Alex exclaimed, she was broken and didn't want to hurt herself more but she needed to know. James was now annoyed, "I told you, no. Let me be honest with you, no one would ever like a freak like you, everyone knew it was a bet other than you, obviously. I can't believe you actually thought I loved you. No one likes you, Alex, no one ever will, why don't you just kill yourself? It's not like anyone would care." Alex's heart shattered, at that exact moment she lost her will to live, she turned around and ran all the way home, tears streaming down her face, her mascara left black smudges but at that moment all she cared about was leaving this horrible world.

It was the final straw, Alex couldn't take it anymore, she sobbed loudly in her bathroom but no one was there to tell her it's going to be okay. Her tears stopped suddenly, she couldn't live like this, bruises and cuts covered her body but a sudden relief passed through her, she didn't have to live like this so why was she. She gave up on hope a long time ago, she opened the bathroom door and straight outside was a picture of her father. "Dad-daddy" she sobbed, "I miss you so much, why did you leave me?" Alex was screaming now, "COME BACK DADDY, COME BACK AND HE-HELP ME", her screams and sobs echoed through the small house. She wanted to be with her dad, more than anything, that's what she wanted. She slowly pulled out her small sharp knife from her bag. She wanted her dad and there was only one way to see him again, she pressed and slid the knife across her first wrist and cried out in pain, then she cut her other wrist as well. She knife fell from her hand and clattered into the puddle of blood on the floor. She smiled, she saw her father walking towards her and reaching out his hand, "daddy..." were her final words before her eyes closed and never opened again.

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So that is it! If you liked it, let me know and if you want it to become an actual story I might do that too! Oh and if there is any mistakes let me know :0