What has been the definition of love for you?

I have read plenty of books. To understand it from the perspective of others, belonging to all ages. But there is one thing that I found very bothersome. Force and coercion are subtly depicted as attributes of love.

Love may start as an attraction but wouldn't compromise violence against the one whom you claim to love. That's not something that I have only seen in books, but in movies; with many young and beautiful hearts seeing deception, lies, and manipulation as part of love. What if they have been violent? They do love me. Do they?

A few months back there was a case that disturbed me a lot. But what's more these ideas were romanticized.

The most common plot would be where you find the protagonist asking female protagonists to spend the night with him. And when female protagonists would disagree there would be manipulation with the usage of power, money and emotions. Soon there would be a certain attraction, claiming other humans as their property and the sudden 'lover'.

The consent would never matter as accordingly everything is fair in love. No, it's not. You don't hold over things you love, you don't change what you claim to love.

Nineteen-year-old hailing from Pauri Garhwal had lots of dreams. She came to earn for her family. Away with a wish that this world would help to fly high where she could glimpse her dreams meeting reality. But that isn't how this world is. She was forced by the owner to agree to prostitution. And when she refused that was the end of her dreams and life. It is all finished. Life is not as colourful as a few words.

It happened this year in September.

But still, our generation would romanticize abuse. No. Love would only cause a tremor in your heart, and disturb the balance and equation of hormones. Not leave bruises on your body which will be imprinted into your memories as a scare.

When he says my tears pain him. I couldn't believe it. How could my pain be learned even without speaking? He doesn't control my choices. But guide me. There is a difference between telling and suggesting and I learned it from the greatest man in my life, my father. When they say that great men are made by women. So is the case with women, many of us have strong men helping us. Success and love aren't ever achieved on their own.

But the problem with romanticizing abuse can't be simply solved by putting or abusing the young minds who are writing behind it. I believe that most of them are young adults. Understanding the rise of this phenomenon is important and this is to be done to understand our society.

Most of them don't understand love. Have grown to see the toxic relationship between parents, where domestic abuse was considered the norm. Many of them don't have a normal childhood, so most of the audience finds it okay. Because it's been said that everything is okay in war and love. And even when there is trouble at least there is love.

With the control of their choices and life. Most of them seek that refuge in books. Expecting good out of this control. Imagining their scope. And with a lot of mediums to share these ideas, we find a rose in them when compared to the past.

The problem is with our understanding of love. We often recognize it in terms of men and women. But that's not the case love could be with anyone, first you have to comprehend that feeling. And that should start with loving yourself, and discerning beside you; love nature or animals as what they have given others could never.

And inferring nothing in this world at least having sentiments is a possession of anyone. Even the house that you build with precious elements floods; so how could any human hold restraint over you?

That is something that I have seen a lot around me. During school or college, often my friends and classmates would boast about their partner's possessiveness as a romantic trait. Controlling your appearance, and the way you dress or behave isn't love. You may have preferences, you can request them someday but not dictate them every day.

The terrible thing you could do is the justification of certain things. Crime like rape and sexual exploitation could never be pardoned. No matter what your past was. When you are a sound adult your consciousness knows what's wrong and right. You have seen life, it's never fair to anyone. And that lends no right to make it unfair to someone else.

The problem starts when a teenager asks to be kidnapped. (Something that I have read) To fall in love with a Mafia. I wish life could have a beautiful ending, but many never get it. It is very bad, with forced prostitution and sexual crimes. In that corner of the world, you aren't a human, just flesh that could be used as a way to power or money.

And another greater problem is the portal of men. A man is always a billionaire, don't know if he has time to go to his office but would surely go to the gym. It would always be about his money. There are more billionaires in books than there have been in the real world.

A man isn't his money. He is much more than that. And believe not all men are the same. When you say or depict them as such you not only transform the burden of the crime on innocent men. But also give easy tickets for many perpetrators to slip away.

Try to show human emotions in them also. Make them beyond power and money. Humans who could also love without conditions as many do in real life.

I think this dilemma couldn't be solved by bashing or abusing anyone. The only thing that could be done is awareness. Because things like this do impact the psychological functioning of the brain and then the whole notion of morality. Crimes are justified when they are much worse in real life. Many times victims aren't able to heal all life and live through that trauma.

We all know that, unlike the books, many stories of lives don't withstand witnessing an end. May we all through our actions can show what affection pertains to. Give a safe environment as parents, not force things in the name of love. And guide through words and action.

Not every love is reciprocated, lives through an end, or receives desired love, but it resides in the heart. A mother would never want her child to reciprocate, she would love her unconditionally. And no love could come close to this. It brings peace to have experienced this beautiful feeling. Understand in any way possible. But never accept abuse on part of it. Attraction and addiction are hard to fight. But never let them lace with love.

How you see and write does impact a lot. You have to be the change that you possibly desire. And when you love them, love them, not possess them as your property.