Mrs. Briefs hummed quietly to herself as she poured a cup of tea. One and a half sugars, a teaspoonful of milk, filled half an inch short of the brim, just the way Bulma liked it. She placed another cup on the tray and took an unopened packet of biscuits from the cupboard, then poked her head into the living room.

“Trunks, dear, how do you take your tea?” she called. The handsome young man, who, oddly, had the same name as her grandson, looked up from the television.

“Uh, black, no sugar, thank you,” he mumbled. Smiling as she stored the information away for future reference, Mrs. Briefs carried out the requested specifications, then picked up the completed tray of tea and biscuits. But just as she was about to step into the living room, a tornado sent her flying.

“WHERE IS HE? I KNOW HE’S IN HERE SOMEWHERE! OHH, YOU’D BETTER BE HIDING, TRUNKS, COS WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-”

“CHI CHI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY HOUSE?”

Bulma was possibly the only woman on Earth who could match Son Chi Chi for volume, but even she had to strain her voice to be heard above the murderous ranting of the ebony-haired firecracker.

“Rrrr … I’ll get him … how dare he … the nerve…” Chi Chi was now standing in the middle of a wrecked room, glaring all around her and bristling with furious red energy. One hand clenched the handle of her frying pan; the other gripped a terrified Gohan’s gi. Turning to Bulma, she almost snarled, “All right, spill it. Where’s Trunks? The one from the future?”

The cerulean-eyed woman blinked in surprise. “He was here a moment ago, Chi chi. Why do you ask?”

“Because,” growled Chi Chi, “I want to throttle him.”

*Well that was unexpected* thought Bulma. “Can I ask why?” she asked, rather nervously. Her friend may have had a terrible temper, but she normally didn’t get this fired up over nothing. “What did he do?”

Chi Chi’s eye twitched. “What did he do?” he repeated softly. “What did he do?” Bulma had a sudden premonition of an approaching storm. “HE CORRUPTED MY PURE LITTLE SWEET INNOCENT Gohan, THAT’S WHAT HE DID!” A manic light was in Chi Chi’s eyes and Gohan, his gi collar still firmly clenched in his mother’s grasp, looked absolutely petrified.

“What are you talking about?” asked Bulma cluelessly. Chi Chi leant in close suddenly, scaring her so she took an involuntary step backwards. Her voice lowered to a hiss.

“Your son,” she whispered venomously, “is gay. He corrupted my son.”

Bulma’s eyes boggled. “Trunks is a fruit?” she gasped. Her eyes darted to the still-fearful Gohan. “Is this true?”

The young Super Saiyan squirmed, trying to escape Chi Chi’s grip. “Mum – I can’t breathe-” he croaked, prompting the black-haired woman to release him abruptly. Taking a breath, he summoned up his courage, looked Bulma in the eye and said calmly, “Yes, it’s true. Trunks and I are in love.”

There was a loud thud as Bulma facefaulted. “You’re WHAT?” she screeched.

“We’re in love, mother,” said a voice, and all three turned to see Trunks standing behind an overturned armchair. In the same instant, Bulma gaped, Gohan’s face lit up with an adorable smile, and Chi Chi growled furiously.

“You!” she snapped, and advanced on him threateningly, drawing her frying pan back for a swing at his head.

Trunks yelped and dived sideways, scrambling as far away as he could from the enraged Son Chi Chi. She followed him relentlessly around the room, murder in her eyes, pursuing the teenager and cutting off his escape. But even as she cornered him and raised her weapon for the deadliest blow she could muster, Gohan, heedless of his own safety, stepped between them.

“Mum, stop,” he said firmly, but his voice trembled as he stood in a shielding pose between his mother and his boyfriend. “You don’t know the whole story. We are in love, and we really want to be together.”

The demi-Saiyan’s words did nothing to cool his mother’s wrath. “No son of mine,” she snarled, “is going to become a … a fairy at age eleven.” She stabbed an accusatory finger at Trunks. “And not with some cradle- snatching pimp either!” she raged.

“Hey!” interjected Bulma angrily. “My son is not a pimp!”

Chi Chi scowled at her. “Yeah? Then why was he buggering Gohan?”

“MUM!” shouted Gohan, outraged. “He did not ‘bugger’ me! It’s not like that, no way! You know what love is, just try to understand!”

Trunks, on his feet now, added, “Please, Mrs. Son, I would never do anything to hurt Gohan.”

“He’s too young,” snapped Chi Chi. “He’s eleven for Kami’s sake! Don’t you have one ounce of shame in your entire body? And on top of that, you’re both boys! Maybe it never occurred to you, but that … it … it’s wrong!”

The sound of amused chuckling cut off the furious woman’s rant as Vegeta made his presence known. “Oh really?” he said mockingly, leaning against the doorframe and affecting casual indifference to the heated debate currently taking place. Only Trunks and Bulma were able to sense the interest he was taking in the scene unfolding in front of him.

“Yes, really!” Chi Chi replied heatedly, but Gohan could see her beginning to waver. The raven-haired fire-cracker would never admit it, but Vegeta was one of the few people in the universe who intimidated her.

And Vegeta at his mocking, tenacious best was enough to unhinge anybody. He laughed derisively. “Those are Saiyan brats you’ve got there, you know,” he said cuttingly, Prince’s smirk firmly in place. “It’s a real pity Kakkarot knows so little about his own heritage, or he might have explained a few things to you.”

“I don’t need anything … explained to me,” grumbled Chi Chi, her bravery ebbing. “It’s perfectly obvious – to me – what … what’s going … on…”

“Then you’ll know that Gohan and Trunks are acting according to their instincts and there is nothing wrong with that,” said Vegeta in a superior tone. “Saiyans as a rule mature earlier than humans. For an eleven-year-old to initiate a relationship with a teenager is hardly an extraordinary event.”

Chi Chi’s mouth opened and shut a few times, but the arrogant twist to Vegeta’s mouth ensured that no sound came out. Finally, she turned instead to her son and demanded incredulously, “Is that true? Did you start it?” When Gohan nodded, a bright blush spreading across the bridge of his nose and thence over his cheeks, her frying pan suddenly disappeared of its own accord back into its dimensional pocket (A/N: ta Frozenflower) and she sat limply down, looking bewildered. “But – how … why … he … you’re so young!” she blurted. Looking, rather helplessly, from one face to another, Chi Chi bit her lip. “Well, I guess there’s nothing I can do to stop you,” she muttered. Then, with a slight shudder, she added darkly, “Just don’t rub my nose in it. The less I know, the better.”

Chi Chi sniffed sadly, changing mood yet again. “My little baby Gohan…” she said tearily, getting to her feet and leaving without a backward glance. “Growing up so quickly…”

As soon as the door shut behind her, Gohan turned to Vegeta and said gratefully, “Thanks, Vegeta. You really talked some sense into her.” Trunks, meanwhile, was watching Bulma, who was watching him watch her, and soon Gohan was also watching them watch each other.

“Well I have no problems with you two being together,” announced the blue- haired genius abruptly, after a long staring match. She shrugged, then gave a smile. “Besides, it’s kind of cute.”

Vegeta snorted. “Cute?” he said contemptuously.

Bulma made a face at him. “Yes, cute,” she said stubbornly. Then, suddenly devilish, she added, “If you want I’ll show you something else that’s pretty cute.” Vegeta followed her from the room, both of them smirking in a way that made Trunks go pale, a slightly sickened look on his face.

“Seriously, I do not want to know,” he said, and led a grinning Gohan outside by the hand.

There was silence and stillness for almost a full minute before an upside- down couch shifted to reveal a small blue cat, a short pink pig, and a tall black-haired human, all looking rather flattened and dishevelled. The three figures crawled out from under the furniture and sat in the middle of the room. It was several minutes before the pig spoke.

“Well that was definitely one of the weirdest conversations I’ve ever eavesdropped on.”

=============================

???????