"Rose, I'm sorry. Your eyesight will be gone by the end of this year."

Dr. Vasquez continued talking, but the echo of his last words filled my ears, cancelling his voice out. Your eyesight will be gone by the end of this year... That couldn't be possible. He was joking with me. My eyesight was nearly perfect. How could he say that when I could see him so clearly? His lanky, black hair that curled just a little at the ends. The little cowlick at the top. His sharp, light brown eyes. The laugh lines etched into his face. I could see every detail clearly. My vision was fine. I hadn't even owned a pair of glasses before. Sure, it wavered every now again, but wasn't that usual?

"Good one, Doc," I finally responded, cutting him off in the middle of a sentence. "Now's not really the time to be joking though."

He swallowed nervously, his pale Adam's apple bobbing. There was a smoldering look in his eyes, almost like pity. "Rose, you have cone-rod dystrophy. Weren't you listening to what I was saying?"

"Cone-Rod what?"

"Let me explain a little bit," he said with a sigh. Sitting back in his wheely chair, he put his hands on his lap, interlacing his slim fingers. "The retina is the portion of the eye that is light-sensitive. It helps your eyes process vision. Light signals to the optic nerve, which tells the brain what you're seeing. The retina consists of a bunch rods and cones that absorb the light. If those rods and cones don't work, your vision won't work properly."

I stared at him blankly, doing my best to process his foreign words. "And?"

"Cone-rod dystrophy is a progressive disease that destroys those cones and rods. It will slowly deteriorate your peripheral vision and acuity before eventually making you completely blind."

"There's a cure, right?" I asked, my mouth rapidly becoming dry.

His silence didn't make me feel too optimistic. "As of right now—"

"I can't go blind!" I cried, standing up from my seat on the cool, wooden bench. "I'm only seventeen! I haven't even lived a quarter of my life! There has to be a cure!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "There is a way to slow down the process, which is to avoid light, however, even doing that, you're eyesight will be gone in about four months."

I slowly shook my head. "No... No. It's not possible."

"I'm sorry—"

"No you're not!" I snapped at him, my eyes starting to burn. "You're not going to be blind in the next few months!"

"Calm down," he ordered, motioning for me to sit back down. "Let's talk about this."

I ignored him, turning my head away. It was time to leave. Grabbing my jacket from the table, I headed for the door. "Goodbye, Doc."

"Rose—"

The door to the examination room slammed shut behind me. A few nurses and doctors in the hall gazed at me curiously as I hastened by them, trying to hold back my tears. I was going to go blind? There was no chance of it not happening? This had to be some cruel joke! Or a nightmare! Maybe I was going to wake up and everything was going to be fine. How could I live without sight?

That was a stupid question.

I couldn't live without sight.

I shoved the exit door open, the bells rattling noisily, and stormed outside. To my dismay, heavy rain was falling from the grey sky. Annoyed, I shoved my hand into my pocket to grab my car keys. When it came out empty, I thought I was going to scream. "You have to be kidding me!" I cried, throwing my hands up into the air.

My first idea was to check my car. Hopefully I'd left my keys in it instead of losing them completely. I sloshed through the waterlogged parking lot until I reached my beat up Subaru Outback. Pressing my face to the glass, I realized with a little relief that my keys were in the engine. I tried to the door, unsurprised to find it locked. My heart sunk a little bit in my chest as I realized my phone was sitting on the passenger seat.

Now I did scream.

"This isn't fair!" I shouted, kicking the front rubber tire. "Shit! Can this day get any worse?"

Deciding there was no way I was going to go back into the hospital to call home, I chose to walk. Maybe it would help cool off my head. At least I would be able to pass the river on the way home. Even if it was raining, I still enjoyed stopping by it. Somehow it always managed to calm me down.

As I trudged through town, heading toward the riverside, my thoughts went back to the doctor's words. If he wasn't lying, which as much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew he wasn't, that meant I was going to go blind.

By the end of this year.

I counted up the months quickly in my head. Four. Only four. My vision would be gone in four months...

Four.

Four.

Four.

I kept repeating the number in my head. It couldn't be possible. There was no way someone could lose his or her vision in such a short amount of time. Especially someone like me— I ate carrots with almost every meal. Carrots were good for the eyes, weren't they? How could I contract Cone-Rod Dys-whatever? Dr. Vasquez had to have made a mistake. Maybe he'd picked up some other patient's results. Later I would be getting a call from them, telling me it was all blunder on their part and we'd laugh it off.

I stopped now, standing by the water's edge. From where I was standing I could see the lights from the factory across it, shining brightly even through the falling precipitation. The water was moving more swiftly than usual due to the rain, causing white froth to form where the rocks from the bottom caused the water to swirl. I could see the trees that dotted the edges of both sides of the river, their leaves beginning their turn from dull green to a bold red, vivid orange, or vibrant yellow. The dark brown bark was starting to peel from some of them, revealing the beige wood under it. All this I could see from where I stood.

It proved I wasn't going to lose my vision.

It was a mistake. It was definitely...

The truth.

The doc wasn't lying. I was going to go blind. Doctors didn't make mistakes like that. There was no use in me denying it. I was going to go blind and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

Tears started to run down my face and I furiously scrubbed them away, ashamed that they had spilt. There wasn't a reason to cry. This was fate, wasn't it? It wasn't like this was my fault. But still... My vision was perfect! Perfect! How could this happen to me? It wasn't fair! I blinked back my tears, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself.

Then I screamed again.

My mom always told me it was best not to hold my emotions in. I consistently stuck to that. Usually I wouldn't be screaming, but what did it matter right now? I wanted to scream out my frustrations and there wasn't anyone who would be out in this rain to hear me. Doing this was much better than keeping my anger bottled up and blowing it out on my family later.

I closed my eyes again, taking in a deep breath, getting ready to yell. When I opened them, I found my vision had dimmed. The view before me was so blurry I found it hard to keep my balance. Terrified, I threw my arms out to the either side, attempting to even my body weight out. I blinked rapidly, trying to fix my vision. Oh my God, I thought, teetering on my feet, if I fall in this water, I'm screwed. I couldn't see. I was going to fall. Why was this happening to me? I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, preparing for the worst. I was done for...

"Wait!" a panicked voice abruptly shouted and soon after I felt a pair of strong arms around me, ripping me away from the water's edge. "Don't do it!"

The person holding onto me must have slipped because before I knew it, my left cheek was pressing into the soggy ground painfully. When I opened my eyes again my vision was back to normal and I found a young male's face inches from my own. Curly, umber hair was matted to his forehead, darkened by the rain. A few strands hung in front of his chocolate colored eyes as he stared down at me worriedly. "Sorry! I'm sorry! Are you okay?"

"You're kind of heavy," I forced out, finding it hard to breathe with his weight crushing me. "You're crushing me..."

"Sorry," he apologized again, swiftly rolling off of me. He easily sprung to his feet and held out his hand to me. "Here."

I grasped it and he effortlessly pulled me to my feet. "Thanks," I mumbled, a little intimidated by his piercing gaze. My eyes opted for staring at everywhere on his face but his eyes. The more I studied him, the more familiar he looked. Furrowing my eyebrows, I attempted to remember where I'd seen him before. Cumberland Farms maybe?

"Are you okay?" he inquired again, his eyes searching mine intently.

"I'm... Yeah. I'm good."

Suddenly, he smacked me upside the head. Hard. "You're an idiot!"

Completely taken aback, my jaw-dropped, and I gaped at him. An idiot? How I was I an idiot? He was the one that came out of nowhere and tackled me to the ground! "W-what the hell was that for?" I demanded angrily.

"Because! You deserve it!"

"What did I do to deserve it!?"

"You shouldn't end your life by choice! Were you even thinking about how your family and friends would feel?! Be strong!" he lectured me, his friendly eyes lighting up with passion.

I shook my head vehemently. "No! No, you have it wrong!"

"What do you mean?"

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," I told him slowly, holding up my left hand in an act of defensive. "I just lost my balance."

His face went blank. "Oh. I, uh... Sorry for hitting you," he apologized meekly, dipping his head down.

"It's okay," I responded, lightly touching the place he'd smacked. "I think I kind of needed that. I wasn't acting like myself just then."

"Is that why you were screaming at the river?"

My cheeks warmed up. "Oh, you heard that?"

He nodded. "It's what got my attention in the first place. And then I saw how close you were to the river and just assumed..."

"Yeah. I get it. Don't worry. I'm not suicidal, not in the least. I'm just having a rough day," I confessed, brushing my wet hair out of my face.

A breath-taking grin spread across his face. "That's good to hear."

I cocked an eyebrow.

"No, wait, I meant it's good to hear you're not suicidal! Not that you're having a bad day!"

Unable to stop myself, I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard, my gut started to hurt. "Ow! Ow!" I cried, feeling tears start to form at the corners of my eyes, this time due to my merriment. "Haha, help me!"

The man in front of me glanced around, seeming totally bewildered. "Help you how? What can I do? Should I call an ambulance?"

His questions just made me laugh harder. "S-stop that!"

"What? What am I doing?" he demanded soberly. "Tell me and I will!"

My gut was really beginning to burn now. My breaths came in short rasps and I clutched my arms to my stomach, falling down onto one of my knees. Something was definitely wrong with me. Normal people wouldn't be laughing so hard over something like that.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" the brunet inquired, his expression now mixed with amusement and worry.

Finally able to control my laughter, I nodded, wiping the tears away from my eyes. "I promise I'm okay. And that I'm not crazy. I'm not entirely sure why I found that so funny, but I'm glad I did. I needed a laugh."

That heart-stopping grin appeared on his face again. Once more he held out his warm hand and helped me to my feet. This time he didn't let go. "How about I help you turn that bad day around?"

"How would you do— oh!"

Confused, he frowned. "Oh what?"

"I know where I know you from!"

"You do...?"

"You work at Stop & Shop, right?"

Surprised flashed across his face. "Er, yeah. How did you know?"

"I do my grocery shopping there," I informed him, grinning at my achievement of remembering his face. Try as I might though, I couldn't remember his name. "I always remember cu— w-who works there." My jaw set. That was close. I almost told him I remembered him by his cute face. "Anyway, how would you be able to help turn my bad day around?"

His eyes lit up again. "Oh! Well, I was thinking— wait."

"Hmm?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No?"

"Then by taking you on a date," he decided happily.

"What? But we're soaked—"

"It'll be fine," he told me, leading me by the hand away from the river. "If anyone asks, we'll just say we're rebels."

I hesitated for a moment. Did I really want to go on a date with this stranger? Well, technically he wasn't a stranger. I'd seen him before, probably even exchanged a few words. But still... Could I trust him? After studying his face for a moment, his bright eyes and expectant smile, I shook my head. He didn't seem to have any ill intentions. Maybe he was just an amiable guy who wanted to cheer up a sad girl. I'd have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Not only was going on a date with a handsome guy like himself a once in a lifetime event, but it would also be a good way to get my mind off everything. "Okay."

When we reached the street, I realized that a black Honda Civic was idling on the side of it. With a sheepish look, the handsome man gestured toward it. "That's my car... If you're not comfortable driving around with a strange man, I can just park it here and we can walk."

"You're not a strange man," I told him with a smile. "You saved my life, remember?"

He chuckled, nodding. "True. Come on, I know the perfect café we can go to and warm ourselves up."

Following his lead, I slipped into the passenger seat of the car, letting him close the door for me. He hastened around to the other side, sliding in and buckling quickly. "We won't go far. Just to downtown Northampton. Do you live around here?"

"Yeah, up that hill," I told him, pointing to the street across the river. "On Ryan Road."

"I live on Spring Street," he responded, pointing in the opposite direction. "If it wasn't raining, you'd be able to see my house."

I smiled. "Ah, so we live close to each other."

White teeth flashed again. "Guess so."

The ride to the café was silent. I wasn't sure what to say. I had a few questions I was dying to ask, but I held them back, figuring we could talk over a warm drink. As we pulled into a parking spot in front of the café, I realized I'd passed by it a few times while shopping, but never noticed it was a café. "I didn't know this was a café," I said, stating my thoughts.

"You've been missing out," he informed me, unsnapping his seatbelt. "They have the best baked goods and beverages."

I paused, remembering something important. "Oh, um, I don't have any money on me..."

He cocked an eyebrow. "This is a date. The guy is supposed to pay."

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"It's more than okay, Darling."

Shaking my head and grinning, I opened my door, stepping out into the rain. We hastened to the door, which had the words Haymarket Café painted on it in bold, black letters. With a knowing look, my date held open the door for me and I entered sheepishly. How could I have missed the name on the door? I'd passed by it at least two dozen times.

It was surprisingly empty for a café, but that was probably because of the rain. I didn't mind though. I tended to avoid busy places.

"I advise you order the chocolate cake," he suggested as we walked up to the front counter. "It's so good. I swear it melts in your mouth. Just thinking about it makes me hungry."

"Oh, I don't like chocolate."

His facial expression made me think I'd hit him with a fish. "You don't?"

"Just kidding," I replied with a smirk. "I just wanted to see your reaction."

"Oh," he said with a frown. "You scared me for a second there."

"Is the chocolate cake really that good?"

He scoffed. "There's no doubt about it."

"I guess I'll try it then," I notified him, heading to the counter and glancing up at the beverage list. There was a surprisingly long list. They had every beverage from smoothies, to coffee, to milkshakes, to soda. "As well as a tri-flavored hot chocolate," I decided after a moment.

"That's exactly what I was going to order. It comes with a bar of Godiva chocolate. The best."

Our gazes met and I found myself lost in his eyes. Generally brown eyes didn't pop out to me, but his were different. It was like I was staring into melted chocolate... My stomach rumbled and I blinked at my thoughts. Melted chocolate? Maybe I was hungrier than I thought. After ordering, we chose a booth in the far back corner of the café where we were virtually out of sight.

My hands cupped my mug of hot chocolate. The smell from it nearly made my mouth water. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate... I inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent. "This smells so good."

"Wait until you taste it," my brunet friend responded, his own hands curved around his cup as well.

"So, um..."

"Chace."

"Hm?"

"My name is Chace," he informed me, brown eyes twinkling. "I was waiting for you to ask, but you never did."

I laughed quietly, and then shrugged. "I didn't really need to know. I like it though. I think it suits you."

"You do?"

"Mhm."

"How so?"

"You just look like a Chace to me."

He rolled his eyes. "That explains a lot. But in that case, you look like a Agatha to me."

My eyes widened. "What? I do?"

Chace laughed now. "Just kidding!"

"Hey!"

"You look more like a Belle," he told me with a wink.

"You flatter me," I replied, batting my eyelashes playfully. "But that's not my name. I'm... Rose."

Chace narrowed his eyes. "What? I didn't hear you."

"Rose," I mumbled a little bit louder.

"What?"

"Rose!" I repeated, a little irritated. "Go ahead and make fun of me. Apparently my parents liked the Titanic a little too much."

To my surprise, Chace laughed. "What are you talking about? I think the name suits you perfectly."

I frowned at him skeptically. "Really?"

"Really," he insisted. "A beautiful name for a beautiful lady. And, well, it goes with the color of your hair— beautiful hair, might I add."

Rolling my eyes, I found myself smiling again. "Well, aren't you a lady's man?"

"Maybe. Can I call you Rosie?"

My nose wrinkled. "I'd rather you didn't—"

"Rosie it is then," he decided with an air of finality. "So Rosie, let's get to know each other a bit. Would you like me to start?"

"Umm, sure?"

"Right. Well, my full name is Chace Carson. I lived in California for most of my life. Moved here with my dad after he and my mom split up about three years ago. Uh, I finished up high school last year and I'm starting my first year of college next-next Tuesday at WNEC. I have a golden retriever named Skipper and as you know I work at Stop & Shop. Oh, and believe it or not, I like to write poetry. What about you?" He smiled expectantly at me.

I found myself grinning back at him. He was one of the people who made it impossible not to smile around. "Well compared to you, I'm just a young 'un."

His smile faltered a bit. "You are?"

"I'm seventeen."

A laugh left his lips and he wagged his finger at me. "That's not young! I'm only eighteen. My birthday was last month. I'm one of those people who was the youngest in my grade. When's your birthday?"

"Halloween," I told him. "Easy to remember, right?"

He nodded. "I'll definitely remember it. What high school do you go to?"

"Northampton High School," I informed him.

"Ahh," he responded, his brown eyes furrowing. "That's why I've never seen you before. I went to Easthampton High School."

"That would it explain it."

"So... do you have a job?"

"I work as a waitress at Florentina's," I informed him. "And uh, my parents are divorced too. I live with my dad too. And I've lived here my whole life. I don't have any pets, but I love animals. My sister is allergic, so yeah. Oh, and my full name is Rose LeBlanc."

"I like it," he declared.

"Like what?"

He grinned. "Everything."

"I'm starting to think your personality is a little fake."

The expression that came across his face was comical. He was completely offended. "Fake? I'm just trying to cheer up a cute girl who looks like she could use some cheering up!"

"Normal people wouldn't do that for a stranger."

"I'm not a normal person." His brown eyes flashed. "Anyway, what normal person would just leave a girl as upset as you were alone?"

I put my elbow on the table and rested my face in my fist. "I don't know... Don't you want to know the reason why I'm upset?"

"Do you want to tell me?"

I shook my head. "No, not really."

He nodded. "Then I don't want to know."

The corners of my lips lifted up. "Thanks, Chace."

"Hey, I'm just doing a good deed," he replied happily. "Let's just enjoy our snacks and make small talk, shall we?"

"Sure. Are you this friendly to everyone?"

"Nope. Only the cute girls," he replied with a wink.

I scooped a little bit of whipped cream off the top of my hot chocolate and flicked it at him. "Play boy."

"If you keep calling me those things, I may just turn into one..."

"Really?"

"Wanna see?"

"Not real—"

"Excuse me," Chace started, waving at someone behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder to see the person he was flagging down. It was one of the café workers who was busting tables. Shaggy blonde hair that contrasted my ginger mop and was paired with round, sapphire eyes that also differed from my almond shaped, green orbs. She was pretty and petite, a warm smile crossing her face as she noticed the handsome brunet waving her down.

"May I help you?" she asked, sashaying over to him.

Looking up from under his eyelashes, he spoke in a low, attractive voice. "Hey, you see my friend over there?" He pointed to a stranger on a Mac laptop.

She followed his pointing finger and nodded. "Yes?"

"He wants to know if you think I'm cute," he continued with a wink.

For a flat out minute the worker stared at him. Then stared at me. Then, without a word, she turned on her heel and marched away to resume her cleaning. Unable to hold back my laughter, I pressed my face into my hands and snickered.

"Should I have gone for a more sexual one? I'll try again," he said seriously, rubbing his chin. "Usually cheesy pick-up lines work for me..."

"Well duh. You're cute."

His face brightened. "Why thank you! I think I'll try a more sexual one!"

"Chace, don't—"

"Excuse me!" he called out to a group of giggling girls in line. "I'm from the FBI, Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you all to assume the position!"

Four pair of eyes snapped to our table. Two of the girls looked disgusted, one looked flattered, and the other grinned at Chace. Once again I was sent into a fit of laughter, doing my best to silence it.

"Should I do another?" he asked me a wide grin on his face.

I shook my head. "No, don't—"

"Attention all café occupants! I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock!"

I lightly batted him on the arm, biting my lip to keep from laughing. "Seriously! Stop it!"

"Does anyone come here often?"

"Chace!"

"If you all were tears in my eyes I would not cry for fear of losing each and every one of you!"

My gut was beginning to hurt again from all the laughing I was doing. "Chace, please!"

"I'm like a Rubix cube, the more you play with me the harder I—"

"Excuse me," a nasally voice interrupted. I turned to see a cranky looking woman with graying hair giving the two of us a disapproving look. "You're disrupting our customers. I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to leave."

Coming down from his high, Chace pouted at her. "Really? We haven't finished eating!"

She held up two to-go containers and cups.

"So she came prepared," I murmured so only Chace could hear me.

Pursing his lips, he gestured for the lady who'd scolded us to set down the to-go containers. "Sorry," he apologized to me as he poured our hot chocolates into the Styrofoam cups. "I didn't mean to get us kicked out..."

"It's okay," I told him honesty, my cheeks hurting from grinning so much. "That was really funny. It made my day. If you want, you can come back to my house to eat."

"That sounds good," he started, glancing down at his watch. A sullen expression appeared on his face. "Ah, but I promised my dad I'd be home ten minutes ago..."

My eyes widened. "What? I've kept you?"

"It's okay!"

"No it's not! I'm sorry! You should have said something!"

"No, it's my fault! Don't worry about it!"

"I won't!"

"Please," he insisted, reaching across the table and covering my tiny hand with his large, warm one. "It's fine. I'll come up with some excuse for him. Are you ready? I'll drive you home."

My heart sunk a little bit, but I nodded. I really didn't want to go home. My parents probably already knew of my disease... My mom would call and bug me about it. My dad would sit me down and talk to me about it. Personally, I wanted to forget about it. Being with Chace, I could. At home, I couldn't. But I knew it'd be selfish of me to ask this man who was a stranger only two hours ago to stay with me.

And I still needed to get my car.

The rain had gotten worse while we'd been inside the café. It was coming down like a waterfall now, the wind whipping droplets into our faces. As soon as we were safe inside the warm car, Chace laughed. "This rain is crazy. I hope it doesn't continue."

"Me too," I said distractedly, gazing at the beads of water sliding down the window. It was mesmerizing in a way. They were like tears sliding down a glassy face, or maybe droplets racing to see who could reach the bottom first.

The drive to my house was pretty much silent. Chace asked me what number my house was, but other than that we didn't speak. It was a comfortable quiet though. My stomach, on the other hand, was twisting uncomfortably. The closer we grew to my house, the more nauseous I became. Was I ever going to see Chace again? Or was this a one-time thing?

My quaint, dollhouse-shaped, two-story abode came into view from the road. The red slate roof was sticking out from the other brown slate roofs surrounding it like a sore thumb. In a few spots, the white siding was peeling, but to passersby, it was hardly noticeable. Licking my lips, I adverted my gaze from it, hoping Chace would accidentally pass it. To my dismay, he didn't.

"Here we are," he announced, pulling into the driveway. That heart-stopping smile of his was on his face again. "This is your house, right?"

"Yep," I responded, trying to force myself to move. "Thanks for the ride..."

He peered at me curiously. "Are you okay now?"

I tilted my head to the side. "Huh?"

"Earlier, remember? You were upset about something?"

"Oh, um, yeah, I'm okay now," I assured him with a small smile. "Thanks. You kept my mind off... it."

He seemed relieved. "That's good. Oh! If you ever feel sad, give me a ring, okay? I'll give you my cell number. Um, do you want to send a message to my phone so I have yours?"

I nodded eagerly, reaching for my phone. When I realized my pocket was empty, I made a face. "Damn. I forgot I left my phone in my car. How about I give you my cell and you message me?"

Grinning, he took out his phone. "Sure thing. Number?"

I recited my number to him and he typed it into his phone. After that he typed out a short message and sent it to my number. "Thanks," I told him again.

"No problem..."

"I guess I'll see you then," I said awkwardly, placing my hand on the door handle. "Bye, Chace."

"Bye!"

Pushing open the door, buckets of water fell onto my head again. Grimacing, I hurriedly climbed out of the car.

"Rosie!"

I paused, ducking my head back into it. "Yeah?"

"I'm busy all week, but how about if we hang out this Saturday?" he offered, an imploring look in his eyes. Somehow, he reminded me of a puppy wanting to go on a walk.

"Let's do it," I agreed excitedly. "I'll like, text you later?"

"Definitely!"

"Okay. I'll let you get home now. Thanks again!"

"No problem! Bye, Rosie!" he added with a wink.

After shooting him a dirty look, I closed the door. Like a gentleman, he waited until I was in my house before he drove off. My house was quiet and empty like usual. Living with one parent was tough, but the silence was nice. Wandering into my father's room, I realized the message machine was beeping. Hesitating a split second, I pressed my finger to the flashing button.

"Rose? It's Mom. I got the call from the doctor's—"

I immediately smashed my finger back down on the button again. I didn't want to hear that now. Not after having so much fun. My teeth clenched together and I made my way to my room. There was still a chance this was all a dream...

Deep inside though, I knew it was reality.

No matter how much I tried to convince myself it was all a lie, I knew it wasn't. I was going to go blind.

___________________________________

Edit: I wrote this book in 2011. I don't know what you're expecting but keep your expectations low lol. 

Also, I do not edit my books. I am sure this is not your first book by me, at least I hope it's not because it's a decade old, but the writing is sloppy, the plot is sloppy, and things were different back when I wrote this.