"Main roz tera chehra sunhera, aankhon mein leke jaga!"

Ali placed two mugs of coffee on the table in front of him as he sat besides Neil on the sofa in his drawing room. 

Ali - Tu thik hai? - he asked.

N - Hm. Bas kuch soch rha hoon! - he replied sipping on the coffee Ali just made for the two of them.

Ali - Avni?

N - Nhi, Juhi! - he sighed.

Ali - Neil, uh, I thought you're , I mean I thought you had moved on from her. I know that you do get panic attacks still...but that is because of all that jail fiasco, right? Do you still, um feel for Juhi? - he asked softly but his tone was serious.

N - No, it's not that! I mean, yes, I've moved on from her. Of course, I still do wish that her life had been better & that we had not lost her like that. But, at the same time, I also realise the fact that I can not just live in the past all my life. - he spoke thoughtfully.

Ali - Then what is it, Neil? - he put his hand on his shoulder.

N - Ali, yaar! - he exhaled loudly. All my life, I've just seen people being snatched away from me. And, somewhere down the line, I had started believing that I was jinxed. A bad omen! I still do believe it, but - he shrugged. But Avni makes me want to believe otherwise! It's tough. When all your life, all you have known is wallowing in your own self pity & self-hatred, it's tough to actually start loving yourself, or to at least think that you're capable of being loved, that you deserve to be loved. There is this constant battle inside of me if I should let go of her, or if I should stand up from myself so that I can better myself to deserve her!

 Ali - Dekh Neil, past aur future par toh humara koi control hai nhi. All we can do is take a leap of faith & try to work on our present. Toh agar tujhe lgta hai ki Avni tera present hai, then work for it! 

N - But, what if I actually end up losing her, like I always do? What if I actually am a bad omen, Ali? I can't be selfish enough to ruin her life by my ruinous presence! - he rubbed his hands on his face out of frustration & helplessness!

Ali - Neil! - he sighed. Pehli baat toh aisa kuch hai nhi, thik hai! - he spoke with stern eyes. Aur dusri baat, ki tu hai kon, huh? Who are you to save her from anyone? She is an adult, she can take her own decisions! Toh tujhe yeh Indian soap opera ki bahu banne ki koi zarurat nhi hai! Aur naa hi tujhe right hai ki tu uske liye decisions le! Tu sirf itna bta ki tu uske sath rehna chahta hai ki nhi? Uske liye decide mat kar! She'll choose for herself if she wants to be with you, or not! - he told with the rawest of terminology! But he very well knew that his friend needed to hear it. And, I assure you, ki agar woh haan bolti hai toh bhi main yahin hoon tere saath celebrate krne ke liye, aur agar woh naa bolti hai toh bhi main yahin hoon tere panic attacks ke liye! - he told with honesty evident in his voice.

Neil could never explain how grateful he was to have Ali as his best friend. Though they always pulled each others' leg & only conversed through sarcasm, but he knew for a fact that Ali could fight the world for him. 

His words did sting a little, but Neil knew that no one could have made him understand the situation better than him. Sighing, he put his coffee mug back at the table as he looked at him. 

N - You sure you'll stay by my side if I've panic attacks, right? Rhea ke bulaane par bhaag toh nhi jayega? - he chuckled.

Ali - Here we go again! Horseshit Khanna never fails to make a presence! - he mumbled as he sighed while rolling his eyes.

N - Tu hoga horseshit! - he flung the cushion at his head making him groan. Now listen, I'll go home tomorrow. To meet Bebe & mend things with Dad. Then, I'll talk it out with Avni! - he told determined. 

Ali - Chaliye, aap mein thodi akal toh aayi! - he said dramatically, earning himself another hit from the cushion.

_______________

Next Day: 

It was a holiday at college so Neil had decided that he'd go home in the morning hours. He was locking his apartment when he saw Avni walking out of hers. 

A - Good Morning, Brinjalhead! - she chirped.

N - Good morning! - he smiled.

A - Where are you going? 

N - Home! - he inhaled a deep breathe. 

A - Really? - she could bounce off the wall with the excitement she flashed with her smile. Neil couldn't stop the chortle that escaped his throat. I am so so so happy! - she flung her arms around his neck as she embraced him tightly.

N - But, I'm nervous! - he spoke truthfully when she pulled back from the hug. 

A - It's gonna be okay! Just go & tell Uncle how much you love him & miss him! - she said with a smile on her face that did ease Neil a bit. 

N - I will. - he nodded while she kept beaming at him. Shouldn't you wish me luck? - he wondered out loud making her confused as she looked at him with furrowed brows.

Smiling inwardly, he tapped his index finger on his cheek whilst blinking his eyelashes as he asked for a kiss. Avni shook her head slightly as she bit back a smile & placed her lips on his cheek. She closed her eyes as she pressed her lips against his cheekbone in a pout & a pop sound vibrated through the air as she pulled back after lingering her lips there for a while.

A - Happy, Raajkumari? - she mumbled as she grinned at him.

N - Um, I mean, I've two cheeks! - he turned his face sideways so that she could kiss the other cheek.

Though a little taken aback by the his bluntness, she obliged as she kissed his other cheek, making a dip in the hollow of his cheek bone. Neil laughed when she kept pressing her lips against his cheek while she made a buzzing sound against his skin. 

A - C'mon now! I don't want you to get late. - she pulled back from the kiss.

They entered the lift together as they went to the ground floor. Neil offered to drop her to the general store that she was going to, to get some stuff Neela needed. 

Dropping her at the store, Neil turned his bike around so that he could leave when Avni waved him a bye. He waved back & started driving while Avni went inside the store to get her stuff. 

Neil hadn't driven much far when a bike cut his way & stood in front of his bike. Since he was still in his neighbourhood & it was a residential area, there wasn't much of traffic & the road wasn't busy either as it was a holiday that day. 

So Neil was surprised when someone blocked his way like that, however, the doubts vanished the moment the guy on the bike removed his helmet & in his face came into view. 

Vidyut Sharma. Juhi's elder brother!

Vidyut hated Neil with a passion. Though the evidences had proved the truth, he was still firm on his belief that Neil had pushed Juhi off the hills. There had been times when he had tried to hurt him physically & mentally in the past. Neil had let him pass thinking that he was dealing with the trauma of losing his sister but, he was in no mood today. 

He was trying to get his life together. Weren't his troubles enough already that he had to deal with Vidyut too? 

N - Vidyut, get out of my way, please! - he spoke calmly. 

V - Why? You on your way to ruin yet another life, huh? - he mocked.

N - Listen, I don't know what your problem is, but honestly, I don't care anymore, okay? So, just get away! - Neil reminded himself not to lose his composure.

V - Or else what, huh? No, tell me what more can you do? Already killed my sister. Brought death to your own mother! What else do you plan to ruin now? Ab kiski zindagi barbaad krega tu? Bta na? - he spat.

N - I did not kill Juhi. And, don't you dare talk about my Mom, alright! - he gritted his teeth to stop himself from shouting.

V - Lies! All lies that you feed yourself & the world. But, I know the truth, Neil Khanna! You, are a fucking unfortunate disaster who just brings doom in people's life. Arre jo apni Maa ko kha gya woh kisi aur ka kya hoga! - he spat with a murderous glint in his eyes.

Neil could feel his resolve breaking, all the bad memories & thoughts rushing back in his mind like flood, & he felt he was drowning under their waves. He didn't realise when Vidyut walked up to him & punched him square in the face, neither did he realise when his nose started bleeding when he punched him again. 

Neil's body felt lifeless as his mind kept repeating his words again & again. Probably, they were correct, probably he was the jinx in everybody around's lives. He had ruined his Mom's life. He had ruined Juhi's life. All he had ever given his Dad was disappointment & disgrace. He could never be the friend Ali & Rhea were to him. And, he would ruin Avni's life too! 

Why was he even alive when people whose life actually mattered were dead? What was even the point of living anymore when he knew he could never be good enough for Avni? He was a bad omen. He had always been! And, no matter how much he tried, he could never change that! 

He didn't know when Vidyut left from there as he dumped his lumpy body on the road & drove away on his bike. Neil could feel a sharp pain at the back of his head but it wasn't even half as intense as the one he felt in his chest. Breathing was getting tougher & tougher with each passing second & he couldn't even find a reason to breathe anymore. 

As if his legs had a mind of their own, he started walking directionless on the road, stumbling on his own foot, getting up to walk again & then falling again. The cycle continued till he reached the signal & continued walking on the crossroad that was as busy as ever. He didn't care if any vehicles were coming from the front or the back, he just kept walking with no destination in mind, neither for the road he was walking, nor for the life is was living. 

"Neil! Stop!"

"What are you doing, Neil? Stop, I said."

He heard her voice, but with thousands of thoughts swirling through his head, it only sounded as a distant whisper. Shaking his head, he kept walking on the road.

"Brinjalhead, have you fucking lost it? I say stop this instance!"

"Neil, I beg you. Please, stop!" 

"Neil, I love you! Please listen to me & stop!"

Now that made Neil turn his head to the side in order to check if he was hallucinating or if she actually was there. Blinking his eyes, he looked at her while they were still standing in the middle of the road, cars & bikes passing by them in a rush as if they all were in a race. 

Avni wiped away the tears from her eyes as she held on to Neil's arm & literally dragged him away from the road. Neil didn't realise that he was being dragged, all he could see was Avni's worried face which he thought looked angelic in all her expressions. He could see her lips moving, she was probably saying something to him, but he couldn't hear. His body felt heavy like a limp when he collapsed on the ground. 

"Neil! Neil, get up! I love you. Please open your eyes, brinjalhead. I love you! Please." - those were the last words he heard before he fainted.