••||Givin' You Lovin||••

~^~^~

"How did I end up falling for you?
I find myself calling for you?
Into the dark, I followed you
I should have known, this ain't the type of shit that I'd go through."

----Rowlene.

•••••

In the midst of the eerie silence, the unspoken words, Emily felt Logan freeze in her hold.

He was the last person on earth she wanted to tell about this pregnancy, but she owed it to him, at least. He didn't deserve to be clueless about it.

Logan was a good man. Despite having, and looking the opposite of everything good, on the outside. This was all her fault, she knew it.

If she had never agreed to marry Christian in the first place, maybe none of these would have happened. Maybe she wouldn't have met Logan, or let Christian get that attached to her.

She should never have driven to the club that night. To meet him.

She started all these. Telling Logan she wanted to have sex with him, agreeing to his idea on them keeping up with their sexual relationship.

She didn't even know how Christian would react to the fact that she was pregnant for someone else. If he was to explode in anger, like a bomb, and wreck everything within his sight, Emily wouldn't blame the man.

Drew had told her countless times to end things with him. He would have understood, but she didn't. She chose to be so fucking stupid!

"I am pregnant with your child, Logan." She whispered.

Logan's hands still held onto her arms, his eyes still looked deep into hers, but not a single word came out from his mouth, and then, Emily saw it. She wished she hadn't though.

The dread. Slowly, it creeped it's way into Logan's face. He freed her from his hold, and stumbled backward.

Emily watched as he paced back and forth, like a confused man, before plopping himself down on the couch again. He slapped his palms against his face, and rubbed them on it.

"Pregnant?"

He muttered. Emily felt the bile rise up in her throat, the tears stung her eyes. He wasn't happy about it.

Logan wasn't happy about their child. He was probably regretting ever knowing her.

"With my child?" He murmured, and finally took his hands off his face.

Emily breathed in deeply, and took a stance of composure. He wasn't going to see that he made her weak. No. She wasn't going to let that happen.

"I don't need anything from you Logan--" she said, giving quite a sarcastic answer, which was never her intention.

"I just thought I should let you know. To prevent further drama in the future."

Logan chuckled, and scratched his left eyebrow awkwardly, like it itched, when in actuality, it didn't, and it was just a habit he had learned to indulge in whenever he got nervous and didn't know what to say.

"And when did you find out? I m- mean about it? The pregnancy?" He looked at her, with dull brown eyes.

"About a month ago. It was the reason why I collapsed."

He nodded his head quietly, and them, scratched his nails against his head again.

"Emily," he stopped scratching, and stood up. Emily stared at him nervously, her heart beat raced faster. She wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I'm not ready to be a father."

She struggled to force a stretched smile onto her face, but she failed tremendously at it. She nodded her head in understanding.

"I'm leaving no--"

"I have nothing." he interrupted. Emily's eyes widened in shock as she saw droplets of tears fall from his eyes.

"Emily, look at me. I have nothing. I haven't made anything for myself. I ran away from home, thinking the people, the whole town and country, were the ones making it hard for me to prosper. Then I came here, five years ago, and you know what I've gained since then?" he smiled bitterly, and Emily could feel her own tears threaten to escape.

She hated how this man made her feel. Why?

Why was he doing this to her?

"Nothing. Except for some lousy garage where I hardly earn a living from. Sometimes, I feel like I'm a failure, and then when I look at you, I know I don't fucking deserve you. I know I am not even meant to be with you, but I fight hard to keep those thoughts away. To drive away every negativity, because I want you. I love you. Emily, you're the first woman I have ever loved. I admit it was lust at first, but then, you just have this way of making people fall for you instantly.."

The tears flowed freely from her eyes, she couldn't hold them back anymore.

"..I swear I've dreamed of us buying a little house somewhere quiet and beautiful. I have dreamed of waking you up every single morning with a kiss. I have dreamed of working so hard and putting food on the table for you. Spoiling you as much as you want. I have dreamed of this pregnancy too. But not like this. What can I offer to you and our baby right now? I--"

It took only the hard impact of Emily's lips crashing against Logan's, to keep him quiet. The kiss was fierce, heated, and hunger-filled. They could both taste the sweetness of their tears, as well as the bitterness of it.

They didn't know how long they stood there, kissing, not until Emily felt the hardness and thickness of him inside her.

Not until they were both driving themselves into a blissful nature, where nothing could stop them. A world where it was just the both of them.. and their child.

~^~^~^~

The blue moon casted it's enchanting, and magnificent light across oceans, towns, buildings. From the opened window, sharp silver blue rays of light, highlighted the naked forms of the both of them. Holding, and seeking comfort in the arms of one another.

Logan's arms were tightly wrapped around her waist, and her head rested softly on his chest.

"Are you awake?" She mumbled. A light caress on her bare arms told her he was. He pressed his face deeper into her hair, and place a kiss there.

"Yeah. Can't sleep yet." he murmured back. She snuggled closer into his arms, and began drawing circles on his back.

"You'd make a good father Logan."

The caress on her shoulder stopped for a second, but then, resumed again.

"I don't care what people say or think, I know it. You're gonna make a good father. I understand everything you said, I know it's hard, but things are gonna work out. I promise you."

Logan smiled into her hair, and she kissed his chest.

"So I guess I gotta drop a lot of things now. Like smoking, drinking.. our baby wouldn't like to see that." he grinned, and it was Emily's turn to freeze. Logan noticed the sudden change in her behaviour.

"You're gonna let me be a father to our child.. right?" he asked, not feeling completely sure of what her answer would be. Slowly, she untangled herself from his arms, and looked directly into his eyes.

"Logan.."

"What? What do you want to say Emily?" Logan sat up, with a frown.

"Christian thinks this is his child." She said, with an odd, sorry look in her eyes.

"You'll tell him he's not the father, right?"

When Emily didn't reply, Logan mumbled a few curse words in Irish, under his breath.

"So why were you telling me about how I'm gonna be a good dad if you're not even going to let me be one?" Anger filled every part of his being by the minute.

"You don't understand Logan. I can't just tell Christian about us, about everything. It's not going to turn out well." She said, picking her clothes off from the floor. Logan's burning eyes followed her as she hooked her bra on.

"Why did you come here tonight? Emily? Why did you kiss me? Why did you fucking let me touch y--"

"Because I love you too Logan Dammit!"

Silence.

"You fucking drive me crazy. You stir up so many emotions in me. One minute I want to tell you to fuck off, and the next, I want to run into your arms and kiss you forever!" She sat back onto the bed, and rubbed her temple tiredly.

"Are you scared of them?" Logan's calm reply came out. She chuckled before looking toward him.

"I'm not scared for myself. I can handle whatever comes my way. My dad -- he uhmm, he threatened me using Drew..

And you."

Logan walked over to the other side of the bed, and sat beside her.

"Is Drew that girl I saw at the club with you?" He asked and Emily nodded.

"She is everything to me. I can't imagine any kind of harm coming her way. I can't loose her. I know my dad. He's capable of doing anything he says he would." She leaned against his shoulder, and he took her hands in his.

Logan nodded.

"So your old man knows about me huh?" he smirked, and Emily chuckled.

"He doesn't know how far we've gone. He doesn't even know we're still meeting up, well, we weren't, until today, but all he thinks is that we're just fucking, no special feelings involved. But now that I love you, and you love me..." Emily shrugged, with a short laugh.

"Why don't you tell Christian." Logan said.

"Your dad doesn't want him to find out, right? And I don't think this Christian guy is treating you bad, so what if you come clean to him? I'm sure it'd be a huge blow to him, but he'd eventually understand. Him finding out, and breaking off the wedding first will make your dad powerless to do anything. If you can convince Christian to be the one to end things, then I'm sure your dad would have to understand too."

Emily had never looked at it from that view. That could probably work. If Christian could be the one ending things up, without actually letting their parents know the reason, then she could finally be with Logan.

She moved her head away from his chest, and put her fingers to his face.

"You know, you're actually kinda smart." She said, and they both grinned.

••••••••

Word count : 1376

Song for the chapter - Nasty C ft Rowlene : SMA. (Send me away.)

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