Peeta

We've barely spoken since that day in the studio. There's glances that we catch, but with Katniss preparing a colaberation for the country music awards with Reba McIntyre, we've had little contact. She coming back to tge little split condo we both live in tonight and im hoping we can talk. I see the lights of her car pull up and I get up and walk out to meet her. She pulls her bag from the taxi and starts walking up the drive but stops when she sees me.

"I didn't think you'd still be awake," she says.

"I couldn't sleep until I knew you were home safe," I reply. She laughs softly.

"I know you wouldn't," she says. "That's the type of man you are. Do you wanna go talk?" I nod and she follows me inside my apartment.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I ask.

"Just water would be fine," she says. "I need a clear mind to say what I need to say." I place a class infront of her and sit down next to her at the bar.

"Trying to let me down easy?" I ask and she shakes her head hurriedly.

"No, well, not exactly," she says. "But you deserve an explanation of why I don't wan't to date anyone."

"The great Katniss Everdeen's tragic past, eh?" I say and she just looks at her glass.

"Peeta, it isn't funny," she says. "I had my heart broken. He said he loved me. He told me he'd marry me. He fed my ambition and my dreams. But obviously that didn't happen." She stops to pick at her fingernail and glances at me. His name was Gale. He was a childhood friend who was a couple years older than me and had obviously gone on to college. He came back changed. I had always had a crush on him and like I've told you before, I grew into my body while he was gone. He hit on me. I hit on him back. One thing led to another and I slept with him two months into a summer relationship. A week before he left for the fall, I found out I was pregnant." I choke on my beer and look at her.

"You were pregnant?" I ask. She just nods. "What'd you do?" I ask.

"I told him," she says. "He told me he was done with me anyway and handed me the fee for the local clinic to get rid of his mistake," she stops to wipe a tear from her eye, "which he knew because he had already gotten another girl pregnant over his spring break. He called it paying for my time. Payed me like a cheap whore."

"Did you?" I start to ask, but don't really know how to say the words. She shakes her head, stareing off into the distance.

"I couldn't," she says quietly. "It wasn't her fault her dad was a piece of shit. Besides, even if I'd wanted to, my little town would have run me off with pitchforks. I had her the next spring and gave her away. I didn't have the means to raise her. It was the best I could do for that little baby. I even requested not to hold her so I wouldn't get attached and want to keep her."

"It was a girl?" I ask and she nods, running her fingers over a tattoo of a flower on her forearm.

"I named her Lily Rae," she says. "Write a letter once a year around her birthday and send it to the agency she was sent to so she'll know I do love her with all my heart. But I don't know where she is or if her name is even Lily anymore."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," I say, not sure whatelse to really tell her.

"After that, I never trusted anyone again," she says. "I just filled my life with booze and sex, anything to make me geel something other than the broken feeling in my chest. As my fame grew, it only got easier to get those things. And I guess thats why I'm the way I am." I reach over and gently squeeze her hand. She looks at me and I wipe away one of her tears.

"I will never do that to you," I say. "I promise you that." She just closes her eyes.

"Peeta, you know how hard it is to believe that, even coming from you," she cries.

"I love you, Katniss," I say. "I always will. I want to make you happy."

"I don't believe its possible for me to ever be happy again," she cries. I pull her to me and she grips onto me as though her life depends on it.

Katniss

I feel his arms grip me and I raise my head to his shoulder. He kisses my cheek. I feel a pounding in my chest and pull away enough to look in his eyes. The love I see fills the wounds in my heart for a moment and I see light at the end of the tunnel. I kiss him and he kisses me back. He unzips my jacket and pushes it off my shoulders. I pull away from him for a moment.

"Prove to me you are everything you promise me," I whisper. He takes my hand and leads me to the back of his apartment and his bedroom. Its tidy, with deep grey walls and a full sized bed made neatly with a deep blue comforter. There's pictures of his family and and artists he's said he'd admired and modeled his music after hanging on the walls.

"I know its not a lot, but," he starts embarassed.

"Its perfect Peeta," I say. I walk over to his bed and climb on to it, kneeling in front of him in the simple orange sun dress I took him out in after we first met. He walks over to me and kisses me again. I pull him by his belt so he has it balance with his arm. We both let out quiet laughter. He stands back up and pulls his shirt over his head. I kiss his chest and he pushes me further back to give him room to get on to the bed. I kiss him again and feel his hand on my shoulder, slowly pushing the dress off my shoulders. He kisses my neck and I lay down. He just sits and looks at me a moment before covering my body with his. 

Our lips meet and I unbuckle his jeans before pushing both them and his underwear off. I slide myself under the covers and pull away my own underwear as he follows me beneath the sheets. He pulls me ontop of him and I slide him in me as I settle myself on his hips. We kiss each other again, gentle and sweet, unlike our first time in that studio that had the underlying anger from the weeks long fight we'd been having.

This is how I'd of rather first been with him. To feel the love and compasion that is embodied this man I've come to trust and care about as my best friend. Even love, though I'd never say aloud until I knew for sure. The way he makes me feel as though I'm not just another notch on a bed post but someone he wants to keep his and only his, never to look at another girl.

He moves me against him gently, hard enough to give pleasure but not in a rush to end this beautiful moment. He eventually flips us and takes over in giving me pleasure, which I'm fine with. I feel my nails did into his back and he sucks on my neck as we start to breath heavier.

After everything is over, I curl to his side and he holds me tight. I grip his shoulder and he is feathering kisses on my cheek and my shoulders. I feel my eyes growing heavy but I keep looking at him and feel his pure adoration on me.

"I love you, Katniss," he whispers. I lift my head a little to look into his eyes and muster the best I can do without saying those dangerous words.

"Me too."