Neil leaned against the bonnet of his car when he exhaled a deep breathe out. His eyes shut themselves close as an acrid taste filled his mouth when the same vision from two years back flashed in front of his eyes. 

Blood, cries, shrieks, agony and more blood. All of it was still so fresh in his memory that it felt like he was living the same moment again & again. Stuck like an old cassette! He hated every bit of it. 

It was in that very moment that he had decided he would avenge all those who had done him wrong. Blood for blood. Flesh for flesh. And, he had succeeded. He had taken the lives of those who had taken the lives of his family. But he could never succeed to find the relief that he so desperately sought. 

However, it was now, after two years of endless agony that he felt relief in his chest. Just by a simple act of service? Was it even possible to feel that way? 

Neil had always taken pride in the fact that he did not become the person that he was avenging. Yes, he had killed and destroyed, but he had always done it to the bad. His organisation was involved in tracking people who were involved in human trafficking and child rapes. All they ever did was to blow them up, teach them a lesson before the cops did and handed them over to the system then. But every time he went back home to his little niece and every time she called him N-man, he couldn't help but think if he was doing the right thing? Was he really the good man turned rebel for a cause, or was he just another scumbag who just stunk lesser than the others in the lot. It didn't matter how much he denied, a scumbag was a scumbag, a killer was a killer, and he, for the truth of his life, was one! He did not deserve to be smiled at or to be blessed with something good. He deserved pain, agony and misery, just like he inflicted on the others. 

And, then she thought I deserve to smile! - a humourless chuckle left his mouth as his throat clogged and stung.   

He was still lost in his thoughts when Avni and Isha walked up to him. Isha's little hand held on to Avni's as she happily marched towards him. 

I - N-man! I want up. - she exclaimed as she held her arms out, gesturing Neil to hold her in his arms.

Neil tried to give her a bright smile but that was a failed attempt and Avni definitely did not miss the effort. Nevertheless, he lifted Isha up in his arms as she clung on to him and smiled at him brightly. 

I - I had so much fun. - she kissed his cheeks, finally pulling a small smile out of him. 

N - Did you thank Miss. Mehta? It was her idea. - he told while Isha shook her head with a frown on her face. 

I - Can I do it now? - she asked. 

Neil just chuckled and nodded as he turned towards Avni. Walking closer to her, he stood just a step away as Isha leaned forward to place a kiss on her cheek, making her smile. 

I - Thankyou, Miss. - she grinned as she clapped her hands. 

And Avni could not have been happier that she was being herself around her. She smiled at her brightly before her eyes fell on him, who was already looking at her. His brown eyes sucked the breathe out of her as they gust it back in her lungs simultaneously. She blinked her eyes as she tried to avert them from his and take in a deep breathe. 

What in the spicy Mongolian noodles is he doing to me? I can't even think straight when he looks at me like that. 

A - You're welcome, Sweetheart. - she uttered, eyes still locked with his. 

I - N-man! Can we go to the church, please? - she asked while smiling at him. 

N - Uh, okay! - he said. He offered a tight smile to Isha but Avni could see through the effort he was putting in to hold that smile.

It was a fifteen minutes drive from the orphanage which was mostly silent. Parking the car, Neil took Isha in his arms as they started walking into the church with Avni besides them. Isha ran towards the altar of the church as soon as they entered while Avni followed behind with a smile on her face, seeing her excitement. She made Isha sit on her knees as they offered the prayer. 

When she couldn't find Neil besides them, Avni turned around to look for him and there he was! Standing near the last bench as he leaned his back against it, scrolling through his phone. A sigh left her mouth as she shook her head. She quickly thanked the greater almighty for everything that she had in her life and then made Isha sit on one of the benches at the front before making her way towards Neil. 

A - People come here to pray, just thought to inform you! - she said as she stood opposite to him, crossing her hands behind her back as she looked at him through her glasses. 

N - You sure you don't have a disorder that doesn't let you keep quiet for a while? - he spat out rather rudely, however Avni had become immune till now.

A - You sure you don't have a disorder that doesn't let you carry on a decent conversation with humans? - she blinked her eyes with a look of sheer innocence. 

However, Neil didn't entertain her little joke as he just rolled his eyes and resumed whatever he was doing on his phone. Clicking on her tongue, Avni took a step ahead, making Neil look up at her with a cold stern face, but there was improvement, his eyes held some sort of emotion, even if it was frustration, Avni could do with that. She just hated the indifference that he treated her with. Anything else would do.  

A - Anyways, let me guess! You hold a grudge because something that you wanted to happen, didn't happen? - she asked while looking at him.

N - You think you have me all figured out, don't you? - he narrowed his eyes at her as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

A - Uh, no! Not really. - she shook her head before adjusting her glasses. You're a bit mysterious, so it will take me some time to do that! - she put the fact out making Neil roll his eyes again.

N - Something that I never wanted to happen, happened. - he hadn't decided to tell her, the response was out for her to listen even before he could stop himself from saying it out loud. 

His cold rainstorm like eyes bored into hers that only held sunshine and warmth, and she stared back. She gulped as she took a step forward towards him, her eyes held his as she stood just inches away from him, her hands brushing against his in a gentle touch.  

A - You know how people talk about the light at the end of the tunnel? - she asked in a whisper and Neil just looked at her, the coldness in his eyes melting due to the warmth she held. Mr. Khanna, in all honesty, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. You, are your own light. And to have it illuminate your surroundings, you'll have to take a conscious leap of faith. Sometimes, things are just blessing in disguise, we don't realise it when they are happening to us, we only understand them in hindsight. - & she didn't realise when her index finger slipped into his and they interlocked as they stood there, so close to each other that they could hear each others' heartbeat because of the silence.

N - Its easy for you to say, Buttercup. - he whispered. But when every moment is a constant struggle to think if you're blessed to be alive or cursed not to die, believing in fate & destiny becomes tough. And it keeps getting tougher! - inadvertently he tightened his hold on her finger as he took an unconscious step towards her.

A - May be it is easy for me to say, but Mr. Khanna, it's never too tough to choose life. Do it for yourself, for Isha. - she urged, not really knowing what change it would make for her. But she needed him to be happy for some non-decipherable reason. If life is giving you chances without any prejudices, why are you so adamant to prove it wrong? Take the hand and don't let go. - she rubbed her thumb at the back of his hand. The rainstorms in his eyes scattering a bit to give way to a tiny ray light.

N - Why do you want me to hold it? - he found himself asking.

A - I don't know. - she shrugged. May be I want to be held. - she whispered as her throat worked on a swallow.

N - Buttercup, I-

A - Mr. Khanna, relax! - she cut him before he could complete the sentence. Taking in a deep breathe, she continued. Just give me your hand and stop thinking for a minute. - she held her hand out. 

Neil's eyes flicked from her face to her hand before he travelled them back to her face. Looking into her eyes, he swallowed as he slipped his hand into hers and she smiled. It was not like the other dazzling smiles that she gave him, just a simple curve of her mouth but her eyes shone and Neil could see all the light that he had forgotten existed. 

Entwining her hand with his, she walked besides him as they stepped towards the altar. She lit a candle and handed it over to Neil who simply took it from her and put it at the altar. Eyes never leaving hers, neither did she.

Neil didn't really know what he felt in that moment, nor did he have enough energy to comprehend it. But he definitely knew that all that he was searching for while wandering all these years, he could find it all in her. All those resentments, pains, complaints, griefs, bitterness, all of it, led up to her. In that moment, he felt like she could help him go through this hell of his life a bit better, however, he also knew that he couldn't do so without dragging her into his hell with him. And, he refused to do that. She didn't deserve to pay such huge price for the goodness she carried in her heart. 

Neil blinked his eyes before he forced them to look away, and just like that, he was cold again. Avni watched him as he picked Isha up in his arms & turned to move out of the church. 

N - Let's go! - he said to her, while walking out. 

A sigh left her mouth as she shut her eyes close but then followed him out nevertheless. 

By the time they started driving out of the church, Isha was already very sleepy and had nearly passed out in her baby seat in the car. 

N - I guess I'll just drop you home? Isha is too tired. - he said. 

A - Hmm. Okay! 

N - Address? 

And Avni told him the address before she leaned into the passanger seat comfortably. Exhausted herself, she too closed her eyes as she felt the cool breeze falling on her face through the window. 

It was only when Neil cleared his throat that Avni realised that the car had come to a stop. 

A - What's wrong? - she asked, rubbing her eyes as she slipped her finger beneath her glasses. 

N - We're here! - he said, a hint of amusement lurking in his tone. 

A - Oh. - she shut her eyes close in embarrassment. Shaking her head, she opened her eyes to look at Isha and then looked back at Neil. I..I'll see you tomorrow! - she said while Neil gave her a curt nod. 

The rest of the day passed rather uneventful for the both of them as Avni just grabbed something to eat and tried to grab some sleep that seemed to have trouble reaching her when she was constantly haunted by whiskey brown cold eyes with that tinge of vulnerability she saw in them. And Neil's day was spent in feeding Isha & making her sleep while he himself struggled to do so. 

True to herself, Avni was 10 minutes earlier to work the next day and she found Isha lying on Neil's stomach as they watched some cartoon. Isha smiled and almost ran to her when she noticed her. Smiling, Avni lifted her up in her arms as Isha placed a kiss on her cheek. 

Just when she was putting her down, her eyes fell on something placed on the shelf near the TV set, and she was sure it had not been there the day before. Her eyes instantly found Neil's who averted them the moment she looked at him. 

N - I, uh, I'll be in my office. Let me know if you need anything. - he spoke in a hurry before placing a kiss on Isha's forehead and leaving the drawing room. 

Avni smiled as she looked at his retreating figure. Once he was out of her sight, she blinked her eyes at the Lord Ganesha statue that he had kept at the shelf.