CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO:
CATHARSIS
(episode seven: the bonfire)

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THE BONFIRE WAS OVERFLOWING with drunken kooks and pogues alike by the time that Haven and the others arrived. Almost immediately, JJ and Arden disappeared to where a row of keggers were laid out. Haven caught a glimpse of Harlow and Brec in the line ahead of them, Brec with her head on Harlow's shoulder as she laughed and murmured soft words in her ear. Haven quickly looked away, sighing as she realised that Pope and Kie had already ditched her and John B in favour of taking a seat closer to the warm flames.

"We've been ditched," John B voiced just what she was thinking.

"What a shame," Haven deadpanned, though she couldn't help the little grin that formed on her face as John B shuffled closer to hear her over the music.

Through the haze of bonfire smoke and spilled alcohol in the evening air, she caught hints of a heady coconut scent she recognised as his shampoo. She'd stolen it a few times now, and it could be smelled in her own hair, but she knew the scent then was him. It always was. More and more, Haven found herself noticing every little thing in her life that lead back to John Booker Routledge. She wanted to like it, but knew she couldn't.

Not yet.

"What do you say we shotgun these beers before JJ notices he left them with me?" Haven suggested with the smallest shake of her head. In her hands, she had two spare cans that JJ had insisted on bringing along with them. From the looks of it, he'd forgotten them the moment Arden smiled in his direction, and Haven didn't want to carry them around for him, so she passed one to John B and reached for the Twinkie keys he held onto. "Or are you too scared?"

John B smirked at that, golden flames casting warm shadows across his face. For a heart-stopping second, Haven longed to reach up and cradle his jaw between her palms, to feel the flush of warmth beneath his skin that was painfully close to her own. But she fought off the urge, feeling dazed at the mere brush of his fingertips as he handed her what she wanted.

"On three?"

"Whoever finishes first has to go up and get the other another beer," John B suggested, then before Haven could even comprehend what he'd said, he pressed the cracked opening of the can to his lips and downed the drink. Haven's eyes narrowed before she rushed to do the same. She knew she'd lost, especially when he threw his can down a second later and cheered in her face. "Sorry, Havey. You lose."

"You cheated," she argued through soft laughter. "But fine, whatever. Hold my phone for me?"

The crowd pressed in on either side of her as she followed JJ and Arden's path towards the keggers. She managed to sneak in at her cousin's side just as he reached the front, ignoring the grumbles that came from a group of kooks behind them.

"Havey! You want a beer?" JJ immediately asked.

"Two please," she replied, smiling uncomfortably at the girl who held the tower of red solo cups. She recognised her from around school, but couldn't remember her name.

"Two?" JJ repeated with an incredulous grin. "Well, look at you switching up on us."

Haven scoffed at that. "I'm not. I lost a bet with JB."

Arden's eyes met hers then, sharp, but Haven ignored the stare as she took the two cups and began to move away. "Catch you later, J," she called over her shoulder, and then she was gone.

John B was right where she'd left him, but Haven was surprised to find he wasn't alone. Her stomach gave a sudden twist at the sight of the giggling brunette. It was her. Haven didn't know her name either, but she knew it was the girl who'd invited John B to the bonfire in the first place. John B was laughing along with her, a hand running through his hair, and it struck Haven in that moment just how foolish she really was. No matter what she tried to say, she was in too deep, a stupid teenage girl with a crush. She didn't have to tell anyone about it, but she knew it. The truth sat in her heart, crashing its fists against the pumping organ as it watched John B and this girl stand close, too close.

"Hey," she said, stepping up to them before she could stop herself. "Here's your drink."

John B's eyes were immediately on her, oblivious to the way the girl's face dropped into a glower. "Thanks, Havey," he said, taking a sip as he continued to look at her over the edge of the cup. It was like the girl wasn't even there anymore. Was it bad to say it made Haven feel better? "I was just―"

With a disappointed huff, the girl had turned on her heel and marched off into the crowd. John B watched her go with confusion, then shook his head in a gesture that showed he didn't care all that much to begin with.

"You wanna dance?" Haven asked, not even thinking twice as she said it. John B blinked, as if he was stunned by the question, causing her face to flush. "You don't have to if you don't want to. You know what? Never min―"

She was cut off by a laugh followed by John B's hand curling around her wrist. "Haven, relax. I'll dance with you."

"O-Okay."

It was just one dance, three minutes of music, two friends swaying to the beat. Sounded simple enough, and yet it became anything but. Drunken bodies pushed Haven closer to John B than intended. He smiled down at her, gaze tracing every inch of her face, from her eyes to her lips. He pulled her in closer, a hand on her back, hers on his chest. Everything was just him, him, him. Until it wasn't. Until they were too close, closer than Haven had ever been to Pope or to Brec, and there Sarah Cameron was, tearing through the crowd, false smiles and knowingness in her eyes.

Fuck.

"Hi, Haven," she greeted the girl, causing Haven's heart to plummet. She stumbled back, ignoring the way that John B frowned, the way that Sarah seemed to falter before regaining her confidence just as quickly. "You two look like you're having fun."

"The others ditched us," Haven clarified, as if that changed anything. "We're just dancing."

Sarah nodded, though she didn't seem convinced. The look on her face... it rattled something in John B and Haven both. "What are you doing here?" the boy asked, sounding... frustrated? Like he hadn't wanted his moment with Haven to end?

A foolish girl with a crush on a boy who wasn't her's.

"Same thing you're doing here," Sarah merely shrugged. "It looks like ― oh, hey, Top!"

And to make matters even worse, Topper appeared, throwing his arm around Sarah's shoulder as she greeted him warmly. Haven watched annoyance flash across John B's face before he looked away. She waited for him to look sad, hurt, anything that would confirm what Haven knew was a losing game. But apart from that, he remained blank-faced, even as Sarah looked between them accusingly and Topper smiled like the smug, drunken idiot he was.

"Hey," he whispered in the blonde's ear just loud enough for them to hear. "I think we should go."

"First reasonable thing I've heard you say in a while, Top," Haven nodded, emphasising the little nickname at the end. Sarah's eyes flared. Haven winced, feeling the oncoming throb of a headache. She wasn't drunk yet, she'd only had one beer, but in that moment, she wished she was. It would make things easier to explain when it all inevitably went to shit.

"I don't know what you mean," Sarah scowled. "I think we're just getting started."

"Sarah." Out of nowhere, the others had appeared, Arden leading the charge.

Sarah's eyes brightened at the sight of her, content for a split second. "Hey there, Ardy, I was just talking to Haven and John B." At the mention of their names, she turned, smiling like a viper spitting venom. "They look so cosy together, don't you think? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you guys were a couple or something."

"Sarah, babes, just―"

"Sarah, you should go," Haven interrupted whatever Arden had to say, jaw clenched.

"And why should I listen to you?"

"Alright, come on," Topper cut in before Sarah could retort again. Spiralling. "Her dad just died, Haven, show some respect."

"Why don't you mind your own business, Topper?" she spat, nudging the boy backwards when he attempted to move into her space. "You're both drunk."

"I'm just saying―"

"Well, I didn't ask, did I?"

Everyone was coming at each other at all angles. Topper was yelling something at Haven about back-stabbing friends, which got an already pissed off JJ involved. Sarah and John B were arguing, the boy shaking his head while Sarah slurred her words. Arden was trying to tug her back, frustrated when she wouldn't listen and turned on her instead.

Next thing Haven knew, John B and Topper were standing face-to-face, old foes returning for round two.

"You wanna start shit right now?" Topper shouted, hand clenched around his beer can like it was John B's head.

John B let out a disbelieving scoff. "Do I wanna start some shit?"

"Well, they all know what happened last time."

Little by little, the commotion had started to attract the attention of the crowd. Phones were pulled out, recording them. People were taking bets on who would win. Haven's hands covered her face, unable to look ― well, that was until Kelce decided to intervene.

"Hey, she don't want you anymore, bro," he laughed at John B as he shoved past Kie and Pope.

"Shut the hell up." There was anger there, a long troubled history between himself and the kook boy. All it would take was one more push...

"What you gonna do, John B, kill me like you killed Sheriff Peterkin?"

Haven's head snapped up just in time to watch John B land a hard punch against Kelce's nose. Blood splattered on the pavement below, all traces of smugness fading into shock and pain. She wanted to laugh, to tell him deserved it, but with Kelce out of action, Topper was quick to intervene, the two boys shoving each other dangerously close to the open flames.

"Remember what happened on the beach? Do you wanna go through that again?"

Packed into such a tight space, people were quick to turn on each other. Arden and Kie were facing off with the same chick who'd been flirting with John B earlier. She'd just shoved Sarah onto the ground, leaving the two girls to quickly jump to her aid. Kelce was too busy caught up in a fist-fight with a pogue to come to Topper's aid as he pressed down on John B's throat with one hand, the other landing harshly against his jaw.

So Haven took one for the team. With Topper focused on John B, she rushed up behind him, landing a shove to his exposed side. He fell off John B for an instant, allowing the boy a second to inhale as Haven, with rage roaring in her eyes, shoved her foot into the lower part of Topper's stomach, mere inches above the hem of his jean shorts.

"Touch John B again and I won't miss," she snapped.

But Topper had never been good at knowing when to cut his losses. As Haven turned to John B, he stood up, hands clenched into fists, only for JJ to come out of nowhere and tackle him back to the ground.

"You good?" the blonde boy immediately turned to a panting John B. "Hey, JB, are you good?"

"I'm good," the boy nodded, just before he stumbled into Haven and the group began to run for it.

"Hey, I've got you," she murmured, gripping his arm tight as they followed after them. "Just keep going. You can't afford to get in trouble right now."

They didn't stop running, not even when they realised Sarah was left behind. She had made her choice. As far as Haven was concerned, she could live with it. Only once they reached the Twinkie did they slow down long enough to assess the damage. Arden had a bruise on her arm from where that bitch had grabbed her. John B had a scrape on his jaw and an irritated splotch on his forehead, but he was in better shape than Haven knew Topper had been. At least that was something.

Subconsciously, the group decided to head back to the Chateau. The trip passed in a blur for Haven, who sat with her temple resting against the window, the inch of space between her and John B feeling like a mile. All of this had happened because they got too close. If Haven had just smothered her feelings down, this could've been avoided.

"Can I change in your room?" she asked John B the second they pulled into the yard.

She waited around long enough for him to nod, ignoring the burn of his gaze on her back as she slipped away. Only then did she let her face drop, when she was sure no one had followed her. She could hear JJ laughing in the yard, a distant and oblivious sound, before the low thump of his blasted country music rose up from the speakers. She fumbled with her skirt for a moment, cursing as the zipper caught on the skin of her thumb.

"Fuck," she grumbled under her breath, pulling away with a wince.

"You good?"

The crack of the door widened as John B stepped through, hesitant. Haven's senses failed at the sight of him. The words came up but no sound was made. She wanted to look away, to let the blush fade from her cheeks, but she stood there frozen as he crossed the room, until nothing but a breath of air remained between them.

"Haven?"

"This is my fault," she murmured, light fingers slowly rising to the bruise on his jaw. He flinched at her touch on the tender skin but didn't pull away. Were her eyes deceiving her or was he frozen too? "I'm sorry."

Slowly, he shook his head, voice soft as another round of oblivious laughter came from outside. They hadn't even noticed they were missing. Good. "I was the idiot who didn't walk away," he conceded. "Don't blame yourself for that."

"Yeah, but if I didn't..."

"Didn't?" She couldn't say it. Maybe he knew already, or maybe he didn't. But she couldn't. Not anymore. "Haven?"

Haven's eyes were caught on his lips, on the way that they parted for him to gasp when he noticed where she was looking. God, she really wanted to kiss him. She shouldn't. It would complicate everything, split the pogues apart in a way that only Haven Murphy knew how to do. But then John B's nose brushed against hers. He was leaning in, hands cupping her jaw in this oh-so-gentle kind of way that easily won out against any logical reasoning.

Haven wanted to kiss him, so she did. She wanted to do more than just kiss him, so she did. One moment, the two stood by his wardrobe, John B's hands trailing down to her hips like a thirsty man finding water. The next, Haven was laid back in John B's bed, surrounded by the scent of him, his lips trailing down her neck. It felt like she was seeing stars. She was dizzy in the best kind of way, legs eagerly hooking around his waist to draw him in closer. He smirked against her skin, and Haven knew then that she wouldn't be able to regret it, no matter what she said. Not when she left nursing a broken heart and bruised ego. Not if and when Sarah inevitably came back into the picture, as a friend or a lover or a stranger.

For just one night, Haven had every part of John Booker Routledge to herself, as she'd wanted but never admitted before. Butterflies fluttering in her stomach, yearning to be set free. So, at last, she let them go with the whisper of his name on her tongue, for only the two of them to hear and remember...

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A/N: Okay, so this has been in the works for a long time now. I'm pretty sure we decided to break up John B and Sarah and pair Haven with John B around the time of writing for episode two. I wasn't sure at first, but I completely fell in love with the ship and have been so excited to share this particular chapter with you. I know we've messed around with canon a lot, but I hope you're enjoying it so far. Let us know? Thanks for reading!