CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE:
GOOD FOR YOU
(episode four: homecoming)

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

WITH JOHN B AND Sarah back, Haven found it so much easier to pretend she was a pogue. Nobody wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room, not with John B and Sarah so happy to see them together again. So they did their best to keep quiet, laughing along to each other’s jokes, smiling like they’d never been closer. It got easier over time, and before they knew it, Haven was giggling along with Kie and Sarah as Arden and Harlow Kim begged John B to tie down their newest vehicle to the back of the boat. He eventually agreed, just to keep the two sisters from being upset the whole trip home.

And yeah, you read that right. The girl that John B and Sarah were with was Arden’s older sister on her father’s side (a long story that Arden only vaguely explained when met with the confusion of her friends.) According to John B, Harlow was living in the Bahamas and recognised him and Sarah from pictures on Arden’s instagram, not even hesitating to help them out when she found them in some trouble. It was strange seeing her around, not exactly unpleasant, but like they had two Ardens in the group. Both girls were freakishly similar in looks and personality, something that everyone, especially poor JJ, found particularly frightening.

But fortunately for him, Harlow fit in effortlessly. She was really flirty, and joked just a little too much, but Haven liked her well enough. And so did Brec, it seemed. When she wasn’t holding Haven’s hand or sharing a beer with a beaming JJ, she was chatting to the girl about what growing up in the Bahamas had been like for Harlow. It was nice seeing her so happy and comfortable around the pogues. Haven had worried the mood in Charleston wouldn’t last, that she and Brec would be outsiders once again. Which didn’t seem the case so far, but as Haven knew well, a lot could change so quickly.

“Anybody else starving?” JJ asked just as the sun started to rise. After the group had left Charleston behind, they’d set off back to the Outer Banks, eager to be on familiar soil again. Nobody had noticed it, but at some point, day faded into night then day again. They were officially gone from Outer Banks for two days. Oh, Melinda was going to have Haven’s head on a stick. “We need to grab some breakfast.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Harlow grinned, eyes eagerly surveying the jetty that John B pulled up to. Fortunately, nobody was around, meaning they’d be able to roam freely for a while. “So where to, my friends?”

“You can come with us,” Sarah offered, smiling as she gestured between herself, Kie and Arden. “We’re gonna look for some food we can―”

“Steal?” Harlow finished, clapping her hands in excitement.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it that…” Sarah frowned, looping her arms with Harlow’s and Arden’s to skip down the jetty. 

Kie was quick to follow after them, but Haven and Brec hung back, not wanting to get too close in case the mood suddenly changed. Instead, they left the boys to rig up the boat to the jetty and have their guy talk, deciding to just walk along the edge of the marsh for a bit, the sun warm on their backs. Brec’s hand felt heavy in Haven’s, like a brick as she rambled away about what she’d learnt about Harlow. It left Haven with a weird feeling in her chest, like Brec was a girl with a crush and Haven was her best friend hearing it from the outside. She should’ve felt more upset, right? So why did she feel so numb to it? So okay with seeing Brec’s eyes so starry at the thought of Arden Kim’s sister?

Haven quickly pushed the thought out of her head, ignoring Brec’s confusion as she pulled away to adjust the folds of her skirt. It wasn’t unusual for Haven to turn away from touches. Sometimes, she liked them. Sometimes, she didn’t. But again, things felt… stagnant. That was the only word Brec could think of when it came to her relationship with Haven Murphy, and it was really beginning to get under her skin.

“Hey, Haven,” she piped up, knowing what needed to be said. “I think we should―”

She was cut off by the sudden ring of her phone, at which Brec sighed and slowed to a stop. Haven turned around to face her, frowning as Brec clicked the ‘ignore’ button on her brother's call, quickly reading through the angry string of texts she’d been sent again before switching her phone off and tucking it into her jeans. 

“You can call them back, you know?” Haven said, averting her eyes when Brec raised an eyebrow at her. “We’re not too far from home anyways. And uh, you… or we… don’t have to stick around after that.”

But Brec just shook her head, face pale from the thought of confronting her family. “I’m good,” she insisted, even though it was very clear she wasn’t. “Besides, Harlow’s in the middle of telling me this story about the time she―”

And there it was again. The same outsider feeling and the numbness. However, some sort of God must’ve been listening in on Haven today. For before Brec could finish, someone was making his way over to them.

“John B, hey,” Haven unintentionally cut Brec off with a smile. “Are we needed back at the boat?”

“Not yet,” he shook his head, rubbing at the sunburnt skin of his arm as he offered them a sheepish grin. “Uh, I was just wondering if we could talk, Haven. I feel like I’ve barely said a word to you since Charleston.”

“Oh, uh, I was just…” Haven trailed off with a glance in Brec’s direction, but fortunately, Brec seemed to take the hint.

“I think I’ll go find the girls,” she declared, that same glint of hope returning to her eyes as she pecked Haven’s cheek and began to scurry off in the other direction. “I’ll see you guys back at the boat, yeah?”

And with that, Haven was left alone with John B. For a moment, they simply stood opposite each other, not quite sure what to say. Then John B was gesturing to the path ahead of them, and Haven kept on walking. The air felt… lighter this time, not so stagnant, so stunted. John B was filling the silence with talk about the Bahamas, about how much he’d missed her and the pogues. It took Haven a second to realise, to see the look in his eyes as he glanced down at her skirt then at the maroon ribbed tee that clung to her torso and the silver choker around her neck. Pope and JJ must’ve told him what happened. For an instant, she worried he was about to ask her to leave.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he said finally, nudging her side gently when she didn’t say anything. “About why you…”

“Changed up my look?” she finished, though both of them knew that wasn’t what he meant. Still, Haven kept on going, for as long as he’d let her get away with it. “I don’t know, I wanted a change, I guess.”

John B inhaled sharply, like he was contemplating how to respond. Eventually, his eyes drifted down to her skirt, then he tugged on the ends of her hair teasingly. “It suits you,” he commented, and an odd flush suddenly filled Haven’s cheeks at the compliment. 

None of the others, bar JJ but he was forced into liking it, had even thought about admiring her. Yes, she’d hurt them. And yeah, she had changed up her appearance because she wanted to feel separated from the Haven Murphy she was when she was their friend, but she’d grown to feel comfortable in her own skin, more than she ever had before, and John B was the first to genuinely see her and tell her she looked good? Seriously, what was up with the world?

“Thank you,” she stammered, unable to even think straight. “Your new look suits you, too. You know, the whole sunburnt criminal on the run thing you’ve got going on…”

John B scoffed, rolling his eyes as Haven giggled to herself. “Gee, thanks, that means a lot, Havey.”

Havey. For a second, she felt confused. If he knew what went down, why was he using old nicknames like nothing was different? Why would he still want to be her friend after knowing how stupid she’d been to the pogues, people he knew far longer than her.

Almost like he could sense her thoughts, John B sighed and nudged her arm again. “As good as you look, Haven, you and I both know that wasn’t what I meant. Pope and JJ told me.”

Haven’s shoulders slumped, eyes averting to the ground. “Of course they did,” she murmured.

She refused to look at John B, but she could feel him staring at her, waiting for her to open up. She wanted to, but she was so afraid of letting him down after only just reuniting again. Being back with him and the others, all together, was like completing a puzzle after hours spent pouring over it. She was beyond tired, and one wrong move would probably rip the old wounds open, but Haven was starting to regret leaving it all behind. And she didn’t want to hear it from him, someone she’d spent so long wanting back, that the damage was irreversible.

But much to her surprise, he asked, “Are you okay, Havey?”

The question stunned her. She couldn’t resist looking up now, and was even more shocked to find he genuinely seemed concerned. She felt herself crumbling but refused to give it away. Not yet. “I just…” The words lingered between them, a lone figure on the edge of a chasm. “It was hard not having you… and Sarah… around anymore. I needed space.” He nodded like he understood, but Haven wasn’t so sure he did. “I know I’m an idiot. That I ruined everything. But hearing that you guys were actually alive… I felt like I had to do something.”

“I get it,” he said, and hearing it aloud was a bit more reassuring than a mere look. “And yeah, I won’t deny that you were an idiot, from what I’ve been told…” He smiled then, prompting Haven to frown. “But you missed me,” he cooed, smirking. “And how could I be angry about that?”

Immediately, Haven’s face dropped, eyes rolling. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it get to your head.”

“It’s too late for that,” he chuckled as their path began to lead them back to the jetty. They could see the others up ahead, the girls having reunited with Pope and JJ while they were gone. “My ego has been stroked, Haven.”

Haven’s nose scrunched up in mock disgust. “I didn’t need to know that.”

“Not like that,” he huffed, then laughed as Haven winked at him. Just before they could join the group again, he pulled her back, hand warm around her wrist. “Hey, for the record, I’m not mad. I missed you, too.”

Haven smiled, feeling light. “It’s good to have you back, JB.”

Alas, the group had spotted them, and both Haven and John B were pulled back onto the boat where the girls had two watermelons to share. They eagerly dug in as John B unrigged them from the jetty and drove them back out onto the water. And before they knew it, they were pulling up outside the Chateau. Home sweet home.

“There she is,” John B breathed out, looking utterly at peace.

“Bet it’s good to see her old bones, right?” JJ said as he patted him on the shoulder.

“We’ve been taking good care of her,” Arden added then, referring to herself, JJ and baby Logan. “Uh, hope you don’t mind but we’ve been crashing for a bit…”

John B didn’t say much, too lost in admiring the place he hadn’t seen for so long. The group quickly sidled up to the jetty, gathering around under the awning where, just a few months ago, Pope had sat with a drone and John B and Kie had swum around as he tested it. That seemed so much longer than just a couple months. It felt like years had gone by since then.

“You know, I gotta be honest,” Kie said. “Not exactly looking forward to a check-in at home.”

At the reminder, both Haven and Brec winced. “Yeah, neither are we,” Brec said, gesturing between herself and her girlfriend.

“My parents probably already arranged my funeral.”

“Yeah, I also predict unpleasantries at the Heyward household,” Pope sighed.

“Yikes.”

Pope scoffed and sent Arden a pointed glance. “You know he’ll be pissed at you too, right? You were supposed to start work… two hours ago now.”

At that, Arden’s face immediately dropped. “Oh, fuck,” she cursed, but there was no urgency in her movements. “You know what? Screw it. I’m late anyways.”

“See? That’s the energy we all need to have,” JJ insisted. “No one knows we’re here, right? And you guys aren’t gonna get into any more trouble for showing up twelve hours later. Am I right or am I right?”

Pope huffed to himself, though technically he couldn’t deny what JJ was saying. “I mean, you’re not wrong, but…”

That was enough for JJ. With a grin, he declared, “So that means we have twelve hours to do whatever we want. A little pogue fellowship. How does that sound?”

Haven was still unsure, but she was starting to warm up to the idea. No Melinda Maybank for one more day? Sounded like a dream. “I’m in, so long as you take the hit with mum.”

JJ nodded in her direction. “Done deal, Havey.” 

Slowly but surely, the others were also considering it. John B first of all, saying with a grin, “Let the shit hit the fan tomorrow. Come on.”

“Yeah!”

“The cops could be looking for us,” Sarah pointed out with an uncertain frown. “It could be really stupid.”

But JJ wasn’t about to change his mind now. He marched right up to the blonde, ignoring the blood stain on her jeans and the pure stench of muck from constant running as he grabbed her by the arms and said, “Sarah Cameron, you’ve heard of my philosophy, right?”

“No,” she chuckled.

Now, it was Arden’s turn to join in. “Oh, come on, Saz,” she teased. “I think you have.”

“Hm. Not sure I have.”

“Stupid things have good outcomes all the time.”

“Oh, fuck it,” Haven decided. Meeting his hopeful gaze, she strutted past John B to loop her arm around JJ’s waist. “I wanna get drunk. Lead me to the booze, cousin.”

“Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!” JJ hollered and sprinted back towards the boat.

Soon enough, the others joined them, their first stop being a jetty around the corner from Haven’s place. Arden insisted on taking Harlow to see Liam while the others grabbed the beer. Plus, as she pointed out, neither John B or Sarah had met Logan yet, and Sarah had been named godmother. It was only fair Logan Maybank got to celebrate with the pogues. 

After dropping them off, they continued on their way to the liquor store. None of them were legally able to buy beer, but JJ knew a guy who would hook them up with what they wanted.

It was at this time that Haven got to speak to Sarah one-on-one. John B and Pope were chatting up at one end of the boat while Haven and Brec sat down at the back. Sarah eventually came over to them, Brec not even noticing as she frantically typed away on her phone.

“Hey, Haven,” Sarah greeted her. It felt so weird hearing her name come from Sarah Cameron’s mouth again. Boy, she was happy to have her friend back. “I like the choker.”

Haven chuckled, fingers ghosting over the silver links. “Thanks,” she said, and for a moment, the two sat in silence. “Hey, Sarah, are we―”

“We’re okay,” Sarah cut in assuringly, like she’d sensed the question was coming sooner or later. “As long as you intend to fix things.”

Haven nodded shyly. “I’m going to try.”

“Then we’re cool,” she declared. “I think Arden and Kie are warming up too, even if they try not to show it.”

Haven frowned, surprised at the revelation. But she barely had time to comprehend it before Brec suddenly stood up, gathering her things together. “Hey, where are you going?” she asked, following after her.

“I need to get home,” she said, refusing to say much else with John B, Pope and Sarah watching her in confusion. “My mum has my brothers contacting me now. If I wait any longer, they’ll actually report me missing to the police. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be,” Haven insisted, the others echoing her words. “Do you want me to come?”

Brec quickly shook her head. “No, uh… you should stay. Word on fixing things, yeah?”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause I―”

“Just stay, Haven,” Brec cut her off, voice tight. “Okay?”

Feeling the weight of three stares on her back, she caved. “Alright. Call me later if you can?”

Brec barely nodded before she was gone. Fortunately, her house was only around the corner, so Haven knew she’d be safe. But she was about to face the music sooner than expected, and Haven just hoped they weren’t too harsh on her. She turned back to the others, offering them a sheepish smile, but only John B’s seemed genuine and left her feeling any comfort. Sarah looked a little put off but nevertheless unbothered, while Pope could barely look at her for longer than a second.

“She’ll be alright,” John B said as Haven subconsciously moved to sit beside him. Pope and Sarah were quick to spark up a conversation, neither quite wanting to breach the topic of Brec. “How long have you guys been together?”

“Not long,” Haven shrugged. “It’s not serious, though. I don’t think it ever will be.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… I don’t know. It just feels weird.”

“Maybe you’re better off as friends?” he suggested.

Friends. Haven Murphy and Brec Buchanan as friends… She felt like she was betraying Brec by saying it, but perhaps John B was right… 

Nothing else was said as JJ and Kie returned, throwing the box of beer into John B’s arms and laughing. Haven moved aside so that JJ could sit between them, his arms around their shoulders pulling them in for a hug. She laughed and wrapped her own arms around him, fingers grazing John B’s on his back.

She could worry about Brec and her relationship later. For now, she just wanted to be happy.