I suddenly become Raph's servant in everything. I provide him a blannket and a pillow for his back. I even cook him food. I almost burn down the damn house but manage to make good enough meat for him. He scowls when I present him the food in front of him.

"You are a horrible cook," he says plainly.

"What are you talking about? This is a masterpiece," I reply defensively. I stare at the almost black meat and frown. I have to improve my cooking skills if I'm ever going to marry him..

"I am not eating that," he scolds. I laugh at his childish behavior and tear a piece of the meat.

"Its not that bad." I bite the piece of meat. It's like eating coal. I pretend to be savoring the taste by placing my hand on my mouth and secretly taking it out. "Yum," I squeak.

Raph chuckles. "Don't die on me buddy."

Buddy. What a gross word. He should be calling me sweetheart or boobear. My chest tightens and an uncomfortable pressure only grows when I think of us. All this kissing and compliments have to lead somewhere don't they? What is taking so long?

"I'll be back." My words come out painfully. I take the plate back to the kitchen and settle it on the sink. What is taking so long? Maybe we're taking things too fast?

Just then I hear a loud ringtone that startles me. It's not mine so I find Raph's cellphone and hand it to him. He quietly thanks me and answers the call. I stand there awkardly and watch him talk until deciding the walk around.

I walk around in circles in his kitchen. Everything about this house is old and worn out. His wooden table is chipped off, his floor has scratches, and his dishes are cracked. Usually houses don't bother me, but it depresses me that such a place belongs to a very special person. Raph deserves a better place.

"Fuck you!" I hear him scream.

I make my way towards him in less than a second and already his cheeks are soaked in tears. He stands up in agony and nearly falls. Luckily I catch him and he suddenly throws his phone against the wall with such a strong force that it breaks. This should scare me. This should make me back away, but I don't.

He breaths heavily and frantically looks around his own house. "Drink," he murmurs. "I need a drink."

"No no no," I plea and push him back to the couch. He shakes his head violently and pushes me instead.

"Drink," he repeats. He leaps away, holding his shoulder. I stop him once again by standing in front of him and gripping his shoulder.

"Raph please you don't need to drink. Not tonight," I croak.

"She..." He sobs and covers his face. I hold his trembling body and stop my own tears from coming out. It won't help if I cry too.

"What happened?" I ask.

"She cut things between us again," he says through his cries.

"She w-what?" I separate myself from him and its very hard to not slump right there on the ground. The moment his green eyes meet mine, I can see the misery reflecting from them.

"Leo," he tries to say but I cut him off.

"What was that phone call about Raph?" I hiss. "Tell me right now."

He cries a little more before speaking again. He is so confusing and it stresses me out. This boy has things that he has not told me. Things that I should know before giving him all this love and affection.

"Mona Lisa," he says. "She cut things between us."

"You guys were dating?" I screech. Of course they were. Stupid me decided to completley ignore that part because I was too focused on us. No matter how many times she popped into my head, I always pushed her away. Why am I so foolish?

"We were," he corrects me. "She cheated on me and then we got back together," he admits.

I pace back and forth. I feel his eyes on me. "Did you break up with her before you met me?"

"Yes," he replies.

"When did you get back together then?"

He takes awhile to answer and I grow impatient. "Answer me."

"The day I went to your house and kissed you okay?" His voice breaks and he makes an attempt to go to his own kitchen. Again, he is stopped by me. My head spins and my chest stings. Its like someone threw a big rock on my stomach, letting me know that me and Raph is never gonna happen.

The thought kills me. I've never liked anyone so much in my life. Everything that has happened to me was pure hope that we might have a shot.

"You kissed me and went back with her?" I cry. "Why the hell would you do that?"

"I'm sorry," he yells. "I was just very confused and heartbroken. You kissed me first when we were drunk. I remember that. I just wanted to use you to get over her."

Ouch.

"It was stupid for me to believe that I ever meant something to you." I twist the doorknob and he grabs my arm.

"Shit I said that entirely wrong. That's not what I meant-"

"Don't you dare change what you already said," I snap. "I've been with you this whole time. You probably don't even give a shit about me. Is this what you do to get over breakups? Go to random people to use? Am I the only one?"

"Leo you're getting this all wrong," he says. He is exhausted and I'm too angry and hurt to hear him out. "Why do you care so much?"

Through the tears, I can't help but laugh. A laugh of agony. How does he not see the reason why I'm always near him? How can he think my kisses mean nothing? Guys just don't kiss other guys to be friendly.

"Wow," I say through my laugh while crying. I'm so pathetic right now.

"Tell me," he growls.

"Because I love you dammit!" I burst out. I step out of his house and turn to a shocked Raph with a mouth wide open and eyes bulged out. "I love you," I repeat, slowly. The sensation is great to have those words come out of my lips.

However, I know why it's taking so long for us to become more than friends. Because he loves someone else. Someone that isn't me.

***

Can school like not ruin my life? K thanks.

HI THERE. REMEMBER TO BE A REBEL AND BE DIFFERENT FROM SOCIETY. LOVE YOUR FLAWS. LOVE EVERY BODY PART AND ACCEPT THEM. TAKE THE TIME TO LOVEYOURSELF BEFORE LOVING OTHERS. I LOVE YOU.

also i hope you enjoyed this chapter :D

P.S I'm writing from my laptop and the picture won't upload properly so when I get my phone, I'll put it up :)