Dear all,

as I did promise here is the EXTRA SHORT part of CH. 10 when Anatoly spent the night at Oleg's house.

I really hope you will enjoy it the now COMPLETED VERSION of this extra part of CH.10 :-)

Once more, many big THANK YOU to all of you for your support and being such amazing readers/fans. Let me know what you think of this very short extra chapter, even if not completed, as I look forward to reading your comments :-)

A picture of Vince Ramos as Oleg; one of my favourite I might add. A video from Lacuna Coil in a cover of "Enjoy the silence", as it seemed perfect for this chapter.

I shall dedicate the chapter to my dear friend Derreck Sanchez! I hope you'll enjoy it :-)

Originally I didn't think about this part, but after reading comments I thought it would have been a good idea and so, thank you.

For now, enjoy it and follow and like my FB page at: https://www.facebook.com/TheWitchAndTheCat?ref=hl

Enjoy the extra-chapter!

-ANATOLY POV-

"Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be." By Sonia Ricotti.

We came back from that place that was between a steak-house and sport-bar for bikers and Oleg wanted to take my babe, saying he had to return the favour and fuck me, this beast here sure knew how to take a bike at its limits and have my leather jacket almost scratched at the elbows for how much he could bend on turns. This man was absolutely freaking amazing on two wheels and even though almost an hour passed since we got back, my heart was still pumping fast for the adrenaline. My eyes quickly darted at him as he sat on the couch in what it seemed to be a relaxed version of Oleg. Fuck. I liked this version of him too much and fuck me even more, because I had already reached the point where it didn't sound anymore that mental to place the word like and Oleg in the same sentence.

I mentally sighed and I shook my head, seeing him looking at me with a questioning expression and I simply shook my head again as to say nothing was going on. I prayed every possible divinity hoping he wouldn't read into me right there. But I couldn't stop stealing quick glances at that man. Oleg sat on the couch with a number of papers in his hands, work-related papers as he explained me before when he asked whether I would have minded him having a look at something. I had no problem what so ever, because I let out what was pissing me off before, well almost everything and still didn't get some answers but never mind at the moment since I sure didn't want my infamous tempter to show up right now, and anyway what I wanted to say was that it didn't bother me as freaking strangely enough, the same person and bastard that had my temper reach thermonuclear temperatures and records was as well the same person whose calm and composed presence soothed my restless self.

That dofus of Dima had a similar effect on me because he was my twin idiotic brother and because he was my best friend, just like Sasha, but with Oleg it was different. It was a different kind of peace. With Dima I was almost completely at ease now and I knew I could count on him, because shit, he pretty much proved it this week, but the geezer here was on another level. It was complete peace and my mind went at rest. Even though I was damn aware of his presence and of his severe look sometimes stopping on me, his dark eyes lingering on me as if wanting to guess what was on my mind, as if wanting to assess whether I was honestly OK or not. I was aware of his smirks that irritated me and at the same time aroused me. I was aware of his physicality and how his freaking Hulk-like body affected me big hell time.

Do you see what I am talking about here? Hell and Heaven together. Peace and Chaos. But Oleg was Oleg and I knew I had basically bared my soul naked at him. Damn it, the bastard here knew me very well and knew what I was thinking about or feeling most of the times. Lucky me, not all the times or God only knows what would have happened. I was still pissed thinking about how he avoided me during the week and I realized later on while having dinner that after I blurted it out he didn't give me any reply, but hey, was I expecting something different? I silently grunted and once more studied his calm and apparently at ease figure sitting on the couch while reading documents, the TV softly buzzing at the sound of a hockey game, me pretending to read a book on the tablet he had given me before saying he didn't use or need it. So here I was, going to keep it as mine.

My eyes looked more at him and I damn knew he was aware of that, but either it didn't annoy him or he let it go. I couldn't care less because the fact was that I couldn't stop it.

Oleg was probably the most complex person I have ever met in my entire life, not to count the fact he was the only person that had contrasting and rather crazy effects on me. My hand nervously passed in my hair and he did not miss it, as he quickly eyed me.

"Vsyo kharashò, Anatoly?" His voiced sounded harder when he spoke Russian, but not in a bad way. He just had a stronger guttural sound than normal Russian speakers and somehow it completely belonged to him and for crying out loud, it made him even hotter. Oh freaking freak...I wasn't really saying this, right? I mean, how mental did it sound? Crap. I was out of it completely and how lame was that?

"Kanyehchna." Of course, I answered. What did you want me to answer to his "Everything OK?" No, because I am fantasizing about how fucking hot and arousing you would sound during sex while talking to me in Russia with that voice of yours? Fantasizing about how damn wild and hard I pictured him in bed even though he did strike me as someone that would take care of this partner? Anatoly, you need to stop it and very soon, because a boner was on its way, especially as if images of him naked flashed back in my mind...argh...I had to stop it. Now.

Oh crap...I had to bang my head somewhere and no worries about brain damages because it was evident the damage was already too big to be fixed. Had I really asked him to spend the night here? I was officially masochistic and demented, end of the discussion.

"You can turn the TV louder if you want. It will not disturb me," he said still assessing me with piercing gaze.

"No, it's OK. I like hockey, but I am not a fanatic like my brother and hi..our friends." I said it this time and I damn had to admit it how good it sounded. The bastard didn't miss it and somehow his lips twitched in what was a smirky smile or a smiley smirk. You pick it.

"If I do recall correctly the young Jackson is not a fan of hockey either." He meant Derek and somehow I wasn't surprised by the fact every particular of my friends were known to him. We were talking about not-human-robot-like Oleg. Everything was possible here.

"Yeah, he loves basketball and Dima told me he's good, not that my brother would understand it much, but according to his chipmunk and a friend of him, Dee is quite the badass."

He nodded and went back to those papers.

"What are they about? Something related to my father's business?"

"Yes." He stayed silent for a few minutes and then completed his answer. "I want to make sure all will go as planned in a meeting Mr. Denisov will have on Wednesday."

His efficiency was eerie and absolutely not human.

"I recorded last night UFC fights, if you would prefer it to hockey. I can tell it does not hold your interest, same for what you read now."

I shot him a glare and cursed in my head because he had clearly realized I wasn't much concentrated on the story I miserably failed to pretend to read.

"I feel a bit lazy to read," I blatantly lied and I wouldn't bet my nuts he bought it. But then something had me curious. "UFC? You mean you watch MMA fights?" Well damn, this was another new piece of information about this beast of a man. He had actually recorded it?

"Correct."

I rolled my eyes at his so annoying short answers. In that he was still the master in freaking getting on my nerves. How could a normal person answer with just a word so often? Alright, Oleg was definitely NOT a normal person. I wanted to talk more with him and hear about his past in the Army, about his past in Russia or anything stupidly small related to him. It was embarrassing and lame to admit it but I had the need to know more of him. However, it was clear now he was absorbed in his job and for once I could avoid behaving like the impulsive brat I was and simply give it some rest. The problem was that something itched in me and it was that bitch of my curiosity to learn about Oleg.

I signed silently and once more tried to concentrate on what I was reading, but seeing it was a huge failure, I got up and looked around. It was then that I noticed two photo frames on the shelf over the fire place. His eyes now studied me and it was hard to say whether he would mind me intruding in his personal life this much or not, but it was a shot that had to be taken. So I got closer and looked at those two pictures. The only photos I saw in his house, without counting his bedroom and studio, since hadn't seen them yet. One was a picture we as well had at home among the tons of frames my mum had exposed in the entire house. It represented our family years ago and I could tell by the face I had there that shit had already gotten real for me. Something formed in my throat and I gulped it down venomously. Fuck it. Oleg was right. It was all in the freaking past and now it was over. Nonetheless my eyes closed a moment and then reopened to study the picture I already knew too well. My parents dressed in some fancy clothes, my brother and I as well, and Oleg in his usual dark impeccable suit. It was taken at some event my mother organized and Oleg hadn't been working for my father for long at the time the photo was taken. He looked younger but still the same hard, severe and very authoritative stare. It pierced me from the picture and I automatically swallowed down.

"Your mother, Mrs. Denisov, kindly gifted me with that picture as a token for this house." I nodded at his words. Oleg was clearly considered family by my parents and what would they had thought of me knowing my current state of mind when around this man? Crap, everything in my life was so unfairly complicated.

"Yeah, she told me she had given you an identical copy. My mum is like this and I know she loves this picture." I was not sure why, but I think because it represented her family.

My mum was an amazing mother and I was damn lucky to have them as parents. I knew it; I fucking knew it and it didn't bother me anymore admitting that loud, for it was the pure truth.

He said nothing and it meant I was allowed to look at the other picture. Between us it was like that. Words and silences had special meanings and weights and somehow we both knew how to interpret them.

The second frame captured a photo of an old lady having her tiny arm around a much taller and broader young boy wearing a military uniform. My mouth went dry and my eyes almost burnt a hole in that picture. It was Oleg between fifteen or twenty years old, hard to tell it with precision, and this old lady could have been..

"She was my grandmother." It was all he said and all it mattered to me to hear. It was as well all it was needed in that moment because I might have been a stupid and impulsive brat, but I could still tell when something mattered or not. This old woman dressed in simple clothes and a tired but clearly proud smile on her wrinkled face was an important figure for this beast here. I knew nothing about his family and now suddenly discovering this much made me happy.

My thumb smothered over the glass of the frame and my eyes kept glue. Oleg had a genuine but as well tired smile in that picture. He looked like he was glad to be there and at the same time something weighted down on him. Argh, there was so freaking much I didn't know about him and I had to know more. He was obviously younger than now and probably around my age, but the expression of his hard and dark eyes was much more mature, and made him appear older, as if already having to carry many responsibilities. His hair was even shorter than now for what I could see from the uniform hat, he had no stubble perfectly shaped as he was completely shaved, not long scar on his eye, not tattoos wrapping around his already then rather bull-like neck. He wore the Spetsnaz uniform and I could see the telnyashka under the jacket, his eyes of course hard and full of resolution and pride. He was already an incredibly strong and reliable person at such age and you could see it from his face and stance.

I almost jumped on the spot and cursed loud when I felt his presence right beside me, his arm somehow touching mine as he stood there in silence boring his eyes into the picture. None of us said a word for a few seconds but it was as if the quietness was filled with so many words that I felt almost deaf for the noise of our silence.

I wanted to know so much more about this man here and therefore I moronically tried my luck praying all the Gods in the Heaven that I wasn't stepping any wrong line.

"Are you..." I hesitated a moment thinking whether asking was a good idea or not, but the hell with that. Hesitation brought me to nowhere and Oleg already told me he did not mind me in here and fuck, he did not mind what happened in that bathroom. Now, that was stepping a very huge and red line, flashing like some neo-freaking-sign, but my eyes did not care. I stepped it big time and the mere thought of his warm and pulsing skin had me stiffen down immediately. Get a grip, you pathetic moron. I took a silent breath and spoke. "Are you still in touch with your grandmother or anyone from your family?"

He kept silent a moment and I swallowed down afraid of having enquired something he wasn't ready to share with me.

"No. She died after four years I joined the Army." This was all he said and my teeth gritted. It was clear from his answer that he didn't have much family left.

"I am sorry I asked something so private." My voice somehow kept levelled but I felt a huge moron.

Oleg immediately perceived it and once more did that gesture that in that pub surprised me like hell, but that made me feel in a way I never felt before. His hand slowly passed on my hair and my heart stopped for a moment for then racing in the craziest way. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes kept glued on the picture. This man here was like Heaven and Hell all together for me; this man here was making sure to take care of such immature brat when I was the one making such questions. I should have been the one wanting to make him feel good, but once more he was the one having my back.

"No need to say sorry, Anatoly. I did not mind it. Relax."

I simply nodded.

"What about your family?" However I insisted. I immediately punched myself mentally for not being able to hold it, but damn it, curiosity was about to devour me.

He sighed and this time I shifted my eyes to him and saw something quickly crossing his face; it was too damn fast to name it, but it had been there. It was not related to me or to my question, but to some deep personal memory or whatever it was buried in his mind. I wished I could be as good as him in reading people, but I sucked big time.

"Sorry if I went too far. I was just curious to hear more about you," I admitted carefully studying his expression and I expected some harsh answer or silence, but once more he surprised me.

"I already made clear that I do not mind any of this with you, Anatoly. You ask me what you want to ask and I shall answer whether possible or not." I placed the frame back on the fireplace and he went on. "I am not in touch with my family anymore and not much of it is left." There was nothing in his voice that indicated any sort of emotions such as sadness, loneliness, regret, anger, disappointment or whatever the hell a person would have felt in such moment. His voice was levelled, calmed and the usual deep tone.

Yet his words felt like pure concrete pouring in my throat. I felt my mouth dry and my tongue tied. I didn't know what to say. Anything would be sappy and absolutely lame in front of him and no freaking way in hell I would look that pitiable and idiotic in front of his eyes.

"How old were you in this picture?"

"I was already seventeen."

"What do you mean with already?"

"I meant that I had already joined the Army for two years at the time that picture was taken. It was for my grandmother's birthday and I took a day of leave to go back home and see her."

Now I understood the expression of his grandmother, why she looked so tired and somehow sad, even if pride and love were strong, too.

"You joined them that young? How was that even possible?"

"My father had some connection and I completed my studies in a military academy in the Army."

"You were already in the GRU?"

"No. I had the privilege and honour to join the GRU only after five years I had joined the Army."

Oleg was a soldier down to this marrow. I remembered what he said before about UFC and the fact he followed MMA.

"Do you like MMA and martial arts because of your past in the Army?" It was a rather dofus-like question, but nonetheless I had to ask it. The correct words failed in how this man here could have been described. He was made of so many layers and each layer made of different shades and depth. I very much envied whoever had the fortune to know more of this beast here, such as my father. I bet dad knew a lot about Oleg.

"In part yes, because we trained in different disciplines and especially in Systema and Sambo." I knew what he was talking about, as they both were Russian martial arts and I swear that the idea of Oleg doing that gave me no little rush of blood to my downstairs buddy. I officially was a lost case. "In part I have always liked it."

"Just like riding motorbikes?" He shifted his eyes on me once more and cracked that bastard-like but fuck-me-so-freaking-hot smirk.

"Dah."

I looked back at the TV and couches thinking about everything. I had billions of questions in my mind, but I had tried my luck quite a lot tonight and no need to be that much masochistic or moronic. I didn't want to ruin this peaceful moment I had.

"Are you done with your papers?"

"Five minutes and it is done for today."

"I am kind of hungry, aren't you?" I decided to completely change the topic because I was afraid of what I could have done or asked.

This side of me whenever around Oleg scared the shit out of me, because it was clear that rationality was not part of it. Not even self preservation and smartness, or actually many other things for what I could tell. I had to move from here before doing something very, very stupid, because I felt the need to touch him and it was so demanding and suffocating that I almost felt sick from that. My breathing went deeper as I cursed myself and then this bastard here for making me react and feel in this way.

Damn it.

It was all so impossibly crazy and out of mind.

Damn it.

The problem was that fouling this beast here was not possible for someone like me and he of course read into my worlds and sudden question what was there to be read. His eyes roamed my face and I swear it was life feeling his harsh hand on me; I looked away and pretended to find something interesting. I had to look away and move for crying out loud because I wanted to touch him; I wanted to touch him so badly that of course it all happened before I could even realize it. My eyes widened in suffocating terror as my hand went to grab his arm, my fingers sinking in that scar he had there. Once more his skin felt so fucking hot and puling, so warm and too good for my sanity.

"Thanks for...for wanting to share that with me." I looked up and planted my eyes right on his, feeling as if burning. "You are a complex sadistic bastard and I wish to know more about you because you know all of my shit and...I don't know, it's not just that, it's that you are.." I didn't know how to phrase it, but he understood me immediately.

Oleg did not utter a word for a long moment but his eyes kept hard and authoritative on me. However, this time I did not let go. Once more the air around us was heavy and charged and I felt as if my skin was too tight on me, as if I was chocking for lack of oxygen, as if the wall were about to close around me and squish me in.

"I understood what you meant to say. I might add thank you for the compliment." At those last words he gave me that rather dark smirk and of course he meant the "sadistic bastard". "Anatoly, you are a very complex person, too. I do not know every shade of your personality and every layer. It is not possible to know a person in very little time, as it takes longer. You have many questions regarding my past and something I had mentioned about mistakes, correct?" I nodded. "You have my word that one day I will tell you everything and you will see for yourself many things."

"You say it as if I could see you in a different way."

"You perhaps shall, Anatoly."

I laughed sarcastically and dry.

"Like seeing you in a different and not good way?" I arched my eyebrows and snorted. "You are fucking annoying in many things and damn it, you can be a real bastard in some occasions, but believe me when I say that you would never fail me or anyone else. This is simply freaking impossible, Oleg." I literally challenged his gaze and I felt as if everything around us melted away. "I will wait and then I will want to know everything. Will you as well tell me the meaning of your tattoos?"

"Dah." He only said yes.

More silence and our eyes locked with each other's. So much unspoken and so much out there. This man was willing to share what it seemed to be rather private and personal memories with me and it all gave me immense joy. I didn't care anymore about how it looked or did not look. I just had the need to know everything about Oleg.

"UFC and perhaps something to eat now?" He then asked and I finally let go of the breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Yeah, I'm actually quite hungry now. Shall we order something?"

We both walked back to the couch and as we did so, he had me freezing on my steps. Once more his hand quickly passed in my hair and for a moment indulged there. It was as if he silently wanted to tell me to relax and that everything was OK; but he had no idea how much more that affected me, how much more that meant to me. It meant an incredible huge deal. I never saw Oleg displaying any gesture or emotion whatsoever and this very little thing made me feel very much stupidly special. I knew and I had to force myself not to smile like a retarded idiot telling myself that this was mine and only for me.

I had to think and believe it was this way; I had to anchor myself to that because otherwise I would have gone even crazier.

It had to be in that way.

-OLEG POV-

We ordered food as to be entirely fair I was rather famished, too. In the morning and early afternoon I had worked out hard enough and had a private session of boxing at a gym down town with an old friend. Now I was here on the couch of my small house allowing Anatoly to invade more and more of my life and space; the rather problematic issue was that no matter how much myself reprimanded it, how much it was clear our peculiar bond grew stronger and deeper by each time we talked and shared any little insignificant particular, detail or memory of our past, no matter that it rationally was wrong. Anatoly was indeed the only person that was able to bring a touch of peace and warmth in my life. I tried to investigate and understand the reasons behind that, but there was no logical explanation. Attachment and feelings do not work according to logic and this matter was very much evident in my situation.

Anatoly was someone that reminded me of my young self and of what happened after I had to leave the Army as the surgery to my eye failed. I imperceptibly shook my head as very old and rather pitiful images flashed in my mind; his words before struck me deeply and they brought in me immense joy and pride. However, I was not so sure he would see me in the same light if he knew everything.

My mind ran once more to that little gesture meant for me as reassuring towards the brat whenever he seemed in some deep stress, just like before while talking about my grandmother and my family. He felt sorry he had asked something personal and was afraid he had forced me to discuss something I had rather not; he could not be more wrong. I had no problems or barriers in talking about my family with him, but the truth was that there was almost nothing to say. I would not have allowed anybody else to step that further in my life, but with Anatoly was alright. I remembered when we took that picture very well. My eyes paused a brief instant there once more and memories surfaced once more; she was already very sick in that picture, but she had made sure not to say a word to me or let me see anything. Nobody knew a thing; however I still cannot believe how much I had failed in seeing that on her.

I moved my stare back at the papers at hand and decided to bury everything away.

"Did you call your parents, Anatoly?"

"Yes, mummy. I did call them and let them know that I will spend the night out and so no need to call the 911 if they won't see me coming back." Sarcasm was not spared of course, but I did not mind it.

"You perfectly know they worry about you and you are nineteen years old only."

As my words reached him, especially the remark about his age, something flashed on his face and it was clear the comment bothered him. He straightened up immediately on the couch as he was lazily lying long on it while reading something and his eyes darted at me somehow bewildered and almost challenging.

"Well, I am sorry to be such a young brat, annoying old geezer. Not my fault if I was born later than you." I arched my brow because truth to be told I did not understand his irritation and discomfort, but then something rang in my mind and I kept silent studying him. He had misinterpreted my remark, as I did not mind our difference in age, even though it was true that in a very normal situation it was rather borderline and the gap was quite considerable. The issue was that the difference in our ages came on top of many other questions. "How old are you, actually?" He fired still rather snappy. I had the faint idea that his temper would never really tame down and somehow the thought brought a small smile on my face that he of course mistook for sarcastic smirk. "What the hell do you smirk about? How old are you?"

"I do not smirk, Anatoly, and how about you calm down a bit and avoid any outburst?"

He went to say something, but then settled for silence, although his eyes still tried to pierce mine and kept staring with questions in them.

"I am currently thirty-three Anatoly; soon I will be thirty-four."

"Soon when?" Once more curiosity took the best of his temper.

"December," I solely answered and he rolled his eyes snorting an "always so cryptic".

"December when? C'mon, you know my and Dima's birthday and of course the ones of my parents and given how creepy efficient you are, you probably know the birthdays of all of my friends."

"Do you think I have that much free time to waste over such useless pieces of information?" It was meant to provoke him and answer to his joke, if he actually meant it as joke.

He let out a rather genuine short laugh. Something was still on his mind.

"Hell, it's you Oleg and you are not a normal human being, no matter what you always try to say." He cracked a rather bratty smile and then shook his head. "But seriously, when is it?"

"December 31st." His eyes went quite wide.

"Wow, that's quite the day to have a birthday party."

"I actually almost never celebrated my birthday, or at least it is very long since I can remember something along with that."

Anatoly's stare concentrated on me and his eyebrows furrowed, but something else took over his mind and I knew at first what that was. I wish I had kept that particular for myself because the last thing I wanted was to make him think about unpleasant old memories; yet, he had to learn to let go of them.

"I was about to say something smart, but hey, I did not celebrate it in long time, too. Last time my mum tried to celebrate it together with Dima, probably three years ago or such, well, I behaved like a huge ass and I don't even remember what I told her, but it was what an asshole like I was would have said." He sighed and sank back into the couch. Silent only moved in the room and between us, as I wanted to let him a bit of space. His eyes had closed and I realized Anatoly had many things, memories, images, thoughts and much more that taunted him mind and his peace. I honestly wished it was in my only power to make it different and easier for him, but the truth was that only time would completely heal it.

However, I did not like to see him in such condition and the promise I made to myself was still burning in my every cell and drop of blood.

"It is all in the past, Anatoly."

He shook his head.

"I still hurt many people and this cannot be taken back or changed. I tell this to myself every time I remember something; it is in the past, you stupid moron, but the shame and guilt are there bleeding freaking fresh and making me feel like the hugest asshole and piece of crap." He let go a rather deep growl and tightened his fists.

"Fuck...I hate to feel like this and most of all, I hate to show such a pitiful and fucking embarrassing weak side of me to others, especially to you."

"Anatoly..."

"No, you don't get it, I fucking hate it. It's humiliating, especially in front of you."

I shook my head and got on my feet, going to sit right beside him.

"Anatoly, look at me," I said with rather commanding voice, but he kept his eyes shut and groaned something else in Russian that I could not understand. "Anatoly," I said once more with more decisive and curt tone and this time he shot them open and looked at me.

"What?" He barked. "Are you going to lecture me on my temper?"

Ignoring his provocations was the only way now to let him calm down. Silence once more downed on us and he looked very tired.

"I do not understand Anatoly why you are so uneasy in front of me when you let out certain emotions. I am far from being perfect and I never judged you; I simply told you that it was time to take a decision and change something. You said being in my quarters or here somehow helps in relaxing, correct?" He imperceptibly nodded shutting his eyes once more. Stubborn punk. "Therefore you have no reasons to feel in this way."

He let out a dry laugh.

"Right, no reasons." He exhaled and kept silent for a while. "You don't get it. For some moronic reason you are the only one seeing me in this pathetic state, the only one with whom my guard gets freaking down; not even Dima witnessed this, even if we got much closer than I could wish for. What's wrong with me? I swear that I don't get it. Like before, yes, just like before and you know what I mean. I'm not a touchy-feely person at all, but what you did before was something that made me feel good. And I wish to be like you, always made of ice and so damn controlled. Damn, you never lose your control or never sweat it. I know I only am a nineteen years old brat and nothing compared to someone like you that sure had a freaking hard and real tough life, being in the Army as part of GRU, being in mission and being tortured and God knows what else. I hate to show such weak side to you, especially to you, you impassive bastard because you know all the shit and because you are you, Oleg. Fuck!"

He swore much more than usual when in some tensed mood and during his temper outburst and somehow I had gotten over that detail and side of him. I think I understood what he meant and the more reason not to feel in such way; if anything, it secretly very much pleased me to hear such words and having such privilege. It also reminded me even more of what we both risked and what it meant; I had to be more careful, but egoistically speaking I took great pleasure from these moments we shared together. It was probably the only times when we could see through each other's role and know more of our real nature. At least, this was the deal with me, even if what Anatoly saw was a very small part of it.

If we wouldn't be in such positions and situation, what happened before in the bathroom would have turned the entire day differently. I think I never felt the physical need to touch a person or somehow to control myself; I very well knew to be fair that it never happened. Back then in the bathroom, however, it took great dose of rationality not to act according to my desire and needs. It took all I got in me not to react; the mere thought of it was enough to ignite my blood and desire.

He was not touchy-feely? Indeed, he was not in general and I witnessed that in many occasions in the past months, but apparently it did not apply around me and it all made everything extremely dangerous and difficult. I sighed silently. It all was the exact same for me. I do not remember last time I sparred a physical touch to someone as to reassure the person; not since my grandmother passed away. In some way Anatoly and I were dangerously similar; I wanted to give him the chance to know me better and outside the role in the family, and this was an honest intention driven by the desire of helping him. Yet, it brought potential and explosive danger.

I swore to take care of him and make sure he would always be in the best and safest conditions ever; however, it occurred to me today that it involved personal and very not allowed feelings. The very thin line between these two realities had been broken already and it was not clear who broke it first, Anatoly or myself. With all chances both of us in a way or another, and this was wrong on many levels; yet I did not want to renounce to this peace and warmth he brought to me. I had to sort things out very carefully, but I was not alone in this and the brat was the most challenging subject I have ever met.

Anatoly kept his eyes shut and he was visibly shaken with a lot of stress and anger; there was a hidden switch in his brain and the most insignificant word or thought could have triggered an avalanche of emotions and bad memories in him. It truthfully bothered me to see him in such state, but there was little in my power to do. What happened in the past could not be changed or deleted, just as he said, and healing processes take their own time.

"If you feel in this way around me, it is good Anatoly."

"What are you talking about?" Now his eyes darted open and he looked rather surprised.

"If you find a person that makes you feel free and that you can open up entirely, trusting that person, then it is very good and it is an honour for me. I mean it. But do not diminish yourself comparing your life experience with mine; we had different lives, Anatoly, and being a soldier does not make a man a strong person or some sort of undefeatable being. I saw people that were crushed by that; you had your fair share of hard life and truth be told, it would have been better if you did not have to taste it. You are far better than you give yourself credit for and for sure you give me more credit than deserved."

He looked rather taken aback from my sincere words and then a soft smile formed in his face; it was the first smile of that sort I had ever seen on him since I began to work for the Denisov and it was a smile that I was sure was purely part of his nature before anything happened. It was not that large and bright as his twin brother, more inclined to wide grins and open emotions, but a rather soft and content smile.

"Being a soldier is part of what you are or what you were; put it as you prefer. But hey, I didn't mean to say that it was what made you this strong and reliable. I can tell though that it sure made you stronger and somehow sharpened your nature or something like that, but hey, you are you and I meant to say that no matter what you did or what you were, Oleg. Damn, we cannot even be compared." How wrong was Anatoly in thinking that, but it was not the moment yet to share my past with this punk here. "You feel like a huge and very thick wall made of unbreakable concrete and tons of bricks made of some unknown, maybe alien, super strong material. I left the gang because it was what I had to do and I had been thinking about that for months, since it was eroding me inside and literally killing me. I was shitty scared to do it but I got to know you a bit when you freaking followed me as a shadow under my dad's orders..." He rolled his eyes and muttered something unintelligible; I knew how much it bothered him to feel like duty, but I said nothing. He sighed out loud frustrated and ran both hands in his hair. "Arghh...here we go again. I cannot keep my mouth shut with you, but hey? Who gives a damn any more. You saw me at my worst and yes, I trust you and do it a lot. If it sounds sappy and gay, well, suck it up." He took another moment for himself and I let him be. He then exhaled out his tension and spoke. "What I wanted to say is that I did also because you were there, Oleg. I mean, if worse came to worst, well, I knew you would not let me in deep shit."

The mention of him leaving the gang brought back a mixed a feelings and emotions that I wished to never experience anymore; I had wished to take care of each of those vermin with my own hands and made them pay for what they had done. Saying I had been angry was a euphemism at how I felt when Dmitri called us and said what happened. My rage reached limits never experienced before and what the brat here did was dangerous to a not tolerable level. He had risked too much.

"What you did was very dangerous and stupid. You should have waited." My voice was suddenly hard and my eyes pierced him where he sat. He looked away a moment.

"I know; I know it very well, but I had to do it alone."

"You put yourself in huge danger, Anatoly."

"But it was the only way out," he said stubbornly and I felt my blood boil once more at the memory of that. "However, this is not the point. The point is that I did it because I knew you would not fail me or let me in some crap. The point is that as I said before, you Oleg are a bastard that freaking gets on my nerves because you look down at me as duty, because you completely ignore me or avoid me like this week, because of many other reasons that...arghh...let's leave it now, but I know I can rely on you completely."

His head fell back on the couch and kept silent.

Anatoly made everything so very complicated and so very challenging. However, what he said was true. Once more I felt the need to reassure him and at the same time the need to be closer to this brat. I was not a touchy-feely person either, exactly as he described himself, but with this punk here this little invasion of my personal space did not bother me. As much wrong and out of place as it was, I could not deny it was good to have very small and somehow allowed physical contact with him.

"What you said is true, immature punk." I smirked at him and he did the same, but my eyes hardened. "Do not do anything that dangerous anymore, do you understand me? Yes indeed you can rely on me for anything you need; you can trust me with everything. I will be here whenever you need me, so do not do anything of that sort anymore. Am I understood, Anatoly?"

He did not answer straight away and I had him to promise me this, because as I already said, I felt something in the back of my neck, something that alerted my instinct and whispered me to stay sharp, because the storm was not over.

"Anatoly, am I understood?"

"Dah. Ya ponyal." He understood but of course it was Anatoly we were talking about, which meant that rather giving me the satisfaction of a decent answer at first, he would probably do something else he rather not. I had to admit that I found that side of his rather humorous and as well I liked it, because it meant he was not easy to give in.

"You need to realize people worry a lot about you and I think you are aware of that about your family and friends, correct? Do not beat yourself up over what happened. Yes, it cannot be changed or deleted, but you have changed and you walk a different path now."

Anatoly stayed there without saying a word for a long moment and then nodded slowly at my words. Once more I indulged in a very small gesture and right now display of my personal attachment; this brat here seemed to have been in great tension and deep thinking the entire week and just a small particular about how I never celebrated birthdays or at least I had no fresh memories of that threw him back in the past. My hand rested on the nape of his neck and softly squeezed it; Anatoly's eyes reacted at that by quickly widening and then immediately adjusting, but I could see the touch from me now sorted some effect on him. I could not comprehend what went through his mind at the moment and I wish I would, so to know how to behave with him, how to control everything because he clearly was a terrorist of my iron-made control and emotions. My body and mind liked this soft touch, too; I relished in it as a moment of complete peace. He probably had some sort of attraction for me that could be reasonable given the circumstances, but if that was right and if that was as well followed by attachment, and of this I had no idea, then what I was doing now was too double-standard for him and I should have stopped.

How strange and sometimes rather unfair was life; to find peace, warmth and attachment, deep and sincere emotional attachment, in someone you were not supposed to have, in someone that was absolutely out of range and league for me.

My fingers indulged a bit longer on his neck to give him the time to adjust and Anatoly visibly calmed down as his stance and body relaxed, slowly going back to the couch, letting his eyes close down.

"This is what I was talking about before," he said with low and slow voice. "This makes me feel good."

He could be very straight-forward and honest sometimes, just like now. It happened once his well built and guarded barriers somehow lowered and apparently so far that happened with me only. I sincerely hoped the brat will soon find the same freedom of being himself with his family and his close friends.

If he had an attachment for me I should have not nourish it in any way, but it was not easy and I could not leave him alone. He was still unstable. The troubles were not over. It all was almost ridiculous because a man like me was now evaluating how to behave around a young kid like Anatoly; this was utterly pathetic and unprofessional, but I knew he was quite the unique case. But what would happen if what he felt now, or believed to feel, would grow stronger, deeper and very visible? What would happen in his life and new found equilibrium? I already knew the answer and I could not let it happen.

My hand retracted back immediately and he reacted to that. I glanced at the time on the DVD player and it was rather late.

"I think we both need to sleep," I said getting up.

He shot his stare at me and his silvery eyes somehow darkened, as he assessed me for a few seconds; then his hand darted on my forearm and grabbed it, as to stop me.

"This is how things are between us, right?" He asked.

"What do you mean, Anatoly?"

"One step forward and two steps back." I understood what he meant clearly and in a way it was accurate, but it did not have to be so drastic.

"Not necessarily."

"Well, great progress here, hmm?" He shook his head and got up, too. "I am actually quite tired, so yeah, I think I need to sleep."

Anatoly lay on his back still reading something on the tablet I had no use for and thought of giving it to him. He liked to read and this could have been useful and practical sometimes, even though he admitted he preferred books made of paper. He wore a simple pair of shorts borrowed from me and a tank-top I used sometimes for training; it all was rather comfortable on him, but the important issue was that he looked at ease while on my bed beside me. The brat put the tablet down and quickly set his eyes on me. I had just my underwear that consisted in dark tight boxers as I could not sleep with much more on me; in the Army I got used to sleep in very challenging and cold temperatures. His stare shifted on my tattoos and then looked at his.

"Can we go to get this shit done soon?"

"On Monday I will enquire for an appointment. Is that good?" He simply nodded his head but I could easily tell he had more questions.

"You really never celebrated your birthday in such many years?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I had no reason to celebrate it and I never really cared about that day."

His eyes studied me for longer and once more I felt the desire to touch him, but this time I repressed it.

"I actually liked to celebrate my birthday and we usually had quite the party with my brother and our friends." A rather nostalgic smile formed on his lips and I turned on my side to have his eyes on mine.

"You will celebrate it next year, Anatoly. I am sure Mrs. Denisov will be more than overjoyed about the idea."

"Yeah, mum will probably love it, but I don't know, so much went over and now that dofus of my brother has a boyfriend and don't know...things changed." He turned on his side too and laughed. "Gee, what the hell is wrong with me? Why I have to be this sappy?"

"Because you are a brat not old enough to not care about his birthday." It was meant to provoke him and as a joke, and he actually caught the sense of that.

"Gee, an old and impassive geezer like you can actually make jokes! Impressive." I simply gave him a quick smirk and I could hear him swallow down; he looked away a moment and thought about something. "I'm sorry for before."

"About what?"

"When I somehow invaded your space in the bathroom."

"It is OK, Anatoly."

He nodded but he still had something in his mind.

"What are you thinking about? You seem rather quiet for your usual explosive self."

"Ha, ha...very funny, impassive bastard," he said back, but of course kept silent for a while. Eventually he let it out, not before his hands nervously ran over his hair. "It is nothing, just don't want to get to know you more and then take hundred steps back. It is totally infuriating and fucking annoying. But hey, let's leave it now, OK? I had embarrassed myself quite enough today and I reached points for winning some special moronic award, so how about sleeping now? You sure must be tired, being already thirty-three." He smirked at me and I said nothing, he rolled his eyes and I went to switch the light off.

We kept silent for a few minutes, but it was that silence before a question and it was almost as if I could hear his brain tickling like some clock.

"Can I ask you a couple of things?"

"I think you never really requested permission before asking me anything."

Anatoly grunted something and kept stubbornly silent for a few seconds, but I knew he could not last in that way for long.

"Are you sure I am not pissing you off by staying here or somehow ruining your weekend?" Once more this brat here needed reassurance and once more I felt like stretching my hand and pass it over his hair, but I stopped. I was already sharing my bed with the only person I should have not, but at the same time with the only I only wanted and allowed here. Pushing the limits and the string of my limits further more was not advisable. I was a man made of flesh and blood, even if my duties and values had priority over my personal feelings and desire; however, I had seen how Anatoly pulled those strings without realizing it. I did not want to test whether he would be able to mismatch and change my priorities. I could not risk it.

"I made myself very clear about this subject, Anatoly. I do not mind it at all and you can come here whenever you want or need it."

"Spasiba."

"Nye zha shto." I could almost see his lips drawing a faint and controlled smile as results of my words. "You have another question?"

"Dah."

He turned around and his eyes for sure went to search for my face in the darkness of the room, as the light of the moon and of the street lap filtered over the blinds; I kept on my back and stared at the wall in front of me.

"You have another scar here. I can see it even if it's dark." His finger went to trace a scar I had on my right shoulder, something I reported during some drills many years ago. I kept my breathing and my entire self levelled and in control, but I closed my eyes a very brief moment. This brat here had no idea how his casual and random gesture could feel threatening to me and what they meant. "What happened here?"

"It happened during a drill as we simulated some potential attacks." He kept silent still studying the thickness of my scar, even though this one was not deep. I decided to break the silence and enquire what he wanted to ask. "What was your question?"

His finger stopped but did not move from my skin and more I had to control myself.

"Why didn't you pull me out from that gang earlier? I mean, why didn't you begin to be on my case earlier?" His tone held curiosity and not resentment, as the nature of the question might suggest. "I wanted to ask you this for long time, because maybe I could have saved time and don't know, not hurt people around me this much."

I gave him the truthful answer.

"It all happened when it had to; when you were ready to leave your past, the gang and decide for yourself what to do. If I would have forced you to take a decision earlier or actually forced a decision on you, I believe you would have not listened to that and probably it would have gotten worse." I let him absorb my words and moved my head to the side to look straight in his eyes. "Am I correct, Anatoly?"

He stared at me and then nodded.

"It was a moronic and stupid question, sorry."

"It was not."

"I know you are right, Oleg. I know it was all up to me and that I had to be the one to get my shit sorted out, but if everything would have happened earlier, if...arggh...what a fucktard I am."

"Give your brain rest for today. You left the gang and now you are here. Leave it, Anatoly. Now, go to sleep." I kept my tone rather authoritative on purpose.

He moved his hand away, but lay down right beside me with his face down on the pillow and his forehead touching my shoulder.

"I'm an immature brat sometimes and I know it very damn well." He let out a long sigh. "Oleg, do you mind if I stay like this just a minute?"

"I do not mind it, Anatoly."

He fell asleep as his forehead kept touching my shoulder, as if looking to feel reassured and safe, as if wanting to leave his worries and thoughts out of his sleep. I let him do so and I closed my eyes. The warmth irradiating from his body and our skin touching moved much in my mind and I severely reprimanded myself for a number of things that were slowly eroding that thin line. Nonetheless, the closeness to Anatoly and his warmth were what I remembered before falling asleep.

Author's chit-chat:

Now the COMPLETE VERSION is here, with OLEG POV. At the end it is not so short as I thought.

Sorry about the wait.

How did you like to learn more about Oleg's past? Don't you see how special their connection is becoming?

How did you enjoy Oleg's POV?

Let me know what you think and see you VERY SOON with a NEW CHAPTER!

Cheers,

-TheWitchAndTheCat-