Warning: Suicidal ideas implied, mentions of homophobia

Unlike the initial dreamscapes, this one was just a green room. Caitlyn would have liked to have done something nicer with the place, but her priority was getting Oburon to show up and that was going to take a lot of energy.

It had been a while since they'd shared a dream, both of them agreeing that they needed refreshing sleep with all that was going on. Now Caitlyn regretted that decision immensely, since it had permitted Oburon to get away with whatever he was doing.

Eventually, the tall lanky male appeared. He forced a smile and waved, with his middle finger curled down as was custom where he came from. Caitlyn wouldn't let herself soften.

"When was the last time you were in control of the body?"

Oburon grew sheepish. "Oh, not so long ago."

Caitlyn put her hands on her hips, "Oh really? Because unless you've been getting up and having strolls at night in the body, the last time you were out was the day after we started sharing a body."

"See, I was right. That was only a few days ago," joked Oburon, tensing up. She could tell he knew where this was going.

"People have been asking where you are. I try to contact you and pull you out, but you're so far away, I can barely reach you anymore. It took all my willpower to contact you now," exasperated Caitlyn, "Why aren't you coming out?"

"You knew what was going on. I thought I'd let you handle it."

"Then come out tomorrow morning. The plan's close to finished, apart from a few things like how we're going to get people to accept it if I come back as, uh, you. We need to fill you in," said Caitlyn.

Oburon shook his head. "The plan and all this is your domain. It's better to leave it to you."

Caitlyn stared at him, her heart breaking. "You'll die. You're already fading away. If you never take control of your body, you'll lose it forever "

Oburon remained silent.

"Take control, Oburon, I swear! I can't lose you," she pleaded, falling on her knees.

The dreamscape dissolved around her.

< | ■ | >

For the first time in her life, Caitlyn missed Junior. He would have been the perfect aid for this mission. But since he wasn't here, she'd just have to do it alone.

Fortunately, travelling with Surtrenans had its perks. With what she hoped was surgical precision, Caitlyn extracted Hjalmar's collapsible sword from his bag. The entire time, her eyes remained fixated on the sleeping soldier, ready to dash off at the smallest sign of consciousness. Hjalmar had a strong moral code. Even though he'd come to kind of forgive Caitlyn for being the daughter of Rectionem Scientiae's owner, he would definitely object to what she was about to do. Hence why she'd rather nobody knew.

She'd barely walked five metres when Yaz suddenly appeared next to her. Caitlyn started. "How are you that quiet?"

"It's sand. There aren't any creaky floorboards," Yaz reminded her, "Where are you going?"

"It doesn't matter," said Caitlyn, turning away. This would be easier alone. She was an adult, surely nobody would force their presence on her.

"Uh, you're wandering off in the middle of the night. Last time you did that, you got kidnapped by a sand creature," Yaz reminded her, placing a hand on her hip.

Caitlyn sighed, "That feels like so long ago."

"I know. So much has happened in so little time... Telling my family is going to be interesting," said Yaz.

"Tell me about it," groaned Caitlyn. Explaining to them that she'd died would be especially difficult. But she hoped they'd understand. She had to do what was right.

"Yeah, how do you think that's going to go? I mean, if you don't mind me asking."

Caitlyn shook her head, her eyes glassing over a bit. "I don't know and to be honest, it's got nothing to do with you."

"I know but just... I can't imagine my parents liking the fact that I'm sharing a body with a boy... Especially when it means I died." Yaz's voice trailed off. "Hazhil meant well..."

"Yes, she did, but otherwise your friend Junior would have killed me or sent me away. Don't look like that, you and Hjalmar were both ready to. I know I've done some messed up stuff, but you guys were prepared to as well," Caitlyn coldly said.

Yaz furrowed her brow, desperate to defend all of them, but she couldn't. She would never have gone as far as Hazhil and Junior would have, but she still would have abandoned Caitlyn without any feelings of guilt.

"It wasn't my proudest moment," Yaz admitted, "But my brother's in that war. I was emotional, reason hadn't had time to set in."

Caitlyn smiled bitterly. She knew that wasn't entirely true, but couldn't be bothered to argue anymore. Instead she just said, "Tell the others I'll be back this evening."

"Where are you going? If you think I'm just going to let you leave, you're wrong," said Yaz.

"Yet once you would've abandoned me. Why can't you just trust me?" growled Caitlyn, "I thought you trusted Oburon's judgement."

"Yes, but you're being shady and refusing to answer my questions. I just want to know what's up," responded Yaz, hands on her hips.

Caitlyn knew there was no hope of evading her. With a grave tone, she said, "I'm going to help Oburon."

"He needs help? How is Oburon? I haven't seen him in so long..." Yaz's voice trailed together, as her mind began to work.

"He's close to fading from existance. I refuse to let that happen. Hence it is important that you let me go."

"No. I'm going with you."

"No," hissed Caitlyn, "I need to do this alone."

"I've already lost Dale and Hazhil. I'm not losing anybody else. I'm coming with you," stated Yaz, more determined than she'd been in a long time.

Caitlyn grimaced. "If you come, do you promise to do whatever it takes?"

"Whatever it takes."

< | ■ | >

The sun rose over the camp, reflecting on the tower, but for once nobody almost blinded themselves. As Hjalmar practiced his swordsmanship with a stick - his sword had mysteriously vanished - Anwyn arrived from the market, carrying new supplies. He stopped to wish her a good morning. Recently everyone had been making a conscious effort around her, even Caitlyn. There were dark rings under her eyes and she seemed fragile, but she refused to cry in front of everyone. Hjalmar doubted she would have coped this well if Kosa hadn't taken her friend back under her wing.

Things with Kosa were going well, but little had changed. They had adopted the titles of significant others, but had not once kissed and only occasionally hugged. No matter what they told the others, he had realised it was just a close friendship.

Casting such thoughts from his mind, he returned to combat practice. Who knew what would face them on the day they were all waiting for? He knew he and Junior would be responsible for keeping Anwyn and Yaz safe so that they could execute the plan, but who knew how much resistance they would face? Like so many things, they'd have to wait a little longer to find out.

His combat practice came to a halt when he saw Kosa watching him. Sweaty from the exercise in the intense tropical heat, he sat down next to her. Her hand raced to her nose. "Are you insane? You smell like dead fish that have been left in the sun."

"Sorry, your sensitivity," he responded, lifting a hand to his heart as if it had pained him.

Kosa rolled her eyes. "You're the sensitive one. How many battles have you ended up being knocked out in?"

"Hey!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry." She smiled, a friendly smile. It was easy to mistake for flirtatious teasing, but it was just platonic banter. Hjalmar knew the difference and he knew they needed to clear things up. Now was as good a time as any.

"Kosa... I... How do I say this... Well-"

"Oh, I'll save you a hassle. This was just us being jealous? Is that about right?" asked Kosa, "I mean, it's not like you're my type. Well, if you were a girl, I'd probably be crushing on you, but romantic guy partners, well, you're not my type of guy."

"Girls...?"

"Oh, fairies, don't tell me Surtren is a homophobic land. I like guys and gals. I mean, how could you not like girls?" pointed out Kosa, frowning.

Hjalmar stared at her. Everything she was saying went against all the ideals he'd been raised to believe, but resonated with him on another level. He didn't know what to say. He'd never been in a situation like this before.

"Are there a lot of people like you in Theste? Is it normal?" queried Hjalmar.

Kosa shrugged. "Pretty sure Ani's bi too. But it's not like everybody's bi, some are homosexual, some ace, some have diverse gender identities, some are straight. We just accept everyone because why should we stop somebody from living a happy life?"

Hjalmar's face was blank. Should he say something? It was scary, but all these years he'd kept it buried and he owed Kosa an explanation. He needed to tell her it wasn't her.

"I... I don't think I like girls."

Kosa's eyes widened. "Please don't tell me you're into Junior."

"No! Of course not." Hjalmar physically winced. "I just... It wasn't an issue with you. In fact, I felt like I should've had feelings for you. That's why..."

"Nah, I was just jealous," admitted Kosa, but her smile slowly drifted away. She was entangled in thought.

Uncertainly, Hjalmar asked, "Do you like Anwyn...?"

Kosa shook her head. "If she asked me out, I'd give it a go, but not really. I'm not right for her. I'm too fleeting."

"What's worse...? Knowing you're wrong for somebody who could be interested or knowing you're perfect for someone who hates what you are...?"

The moment Kosa met his eyes, Hjalmar knew she understood. She didn't speak, but her eyes were message enough. You can tell me.

"His name was Linus. We were friends and I felt myself slipping... I thought... I thought he'd feel the same way but..." Hjalmar's face contorted. There was no clear emotion, he felt too many too bring across. Shame, disappointment, grief, anger, jealousy, so many feelings. "He had a secret thing going on with my sister. When I talked to him about it, he said he was disgusted by me, how obsessive I was over him. I hadn't even known he was aware... But he knew and he left..."

"And your sister?"

"He was conscripted to the army. Tea was upset, but she's naive. She thinks he'll come back one day and they'll... Who even knows." Hjalmar sighed. "I dismissed it though. I thought he had just been misled by our nation, that he just needed time and convincing... So I joined the army, hoping I'd find him."

Kosa shot him a sympathetic look. They sat in silence for a while, giving him a chance to work through some of the emotions. Now he could understand why Anwyn had needed her so much after Dale's death and recently too, with all the drama surrounding Junior. She didn't just know the theory of psychology, as she'd shown with the stages of grief, but she knew how to apply it to provide somebody with comfort.

"Thank you," Hjalmar said. She merely smiled, then tossed a bug at him. That girl was weird, but Hjalmar wouldn't have her any other way.

< | ■ | >

When Yaz was little, her brother Nabeel tried to teach her to ride a horse. She had failed miserably and had given up, until several years later, when she'd tried again. Why? Hadiya deserved the chance to learn how to ride and their brothers wouldn't teach her. So, Yaz had asked Nabeel for lessons again. She was still miserable at it, but regardless, she'd been able to seat Hadiya on a horse in front of her. Within a week, Hadiya had been better than Yaz.

Now, as she rode on a dark mare beside Caitlyn, her thoughts were with her family at home. She hoped that the chosen five would be able to prevent Crayver's plans from succeeding. The thought of Fadiya, Arham, all of them dying was unbearable. She literally wasn't capable of thinking that. Her mind had lowered an impenetrable mist over any thoughts of a future where they failed. It was a shield.

"Where are we going?" asked Yaz.

"The next town. There'll be somebody who can help us there," responded Caitlyn.

They'd rented the horses from a travelling merchant and they'd certainly been lucky. If it hadn't been for him and his willingness to make minor tweaks to his plans for a small bag full of gold, they would have had to travel on Krabblers, the only local animal that could carry a human. They were large, ugly lizard creatures that required a lot of skill to ride efficiently and Yaz had thanked her dragons that they'd been spared the experience. She dreaded to think how that journey would have gone.

As the sun had reached it's highest point in the sky, the next village came into sight. Practically everything about it was reminiscent to Belmoth: the decaying houses, the sandy paths, the starving children. Yaz adjusted her headscarf as if it were some sort of protective armour.

Caitlyn grabbed a pregnant woman and offered her some gold. "Please look after our horses while we're gone. If they're still here when we return, we'll give you more."

The woman nodded and Caitlyn was free to lead Yaz into a tavern. Yaz frowned, not sure what was awaiting them. It turned out that it was a pretty empty tavern. Unlike Belmoth, where civilians seemed to drink the worries of poverty away, here it seemed people were less willing to do so. All there was, was one woman moping over a tankard of ale. Caitlyn sat down further away, but still so that the woman was in plain sight.

"What are-"

"Two meals for two travellers, please," called out Caitlyn to the owner. He nodded and disappeared round the back.

"What, we're just going to eat now?" said Yaz.

"Yes. You saw how long the journey was. By the time we're back, it'll be nightfall. We have to take the chance to eat when we have it," explained Caitlyn, leaning back into her chair. They were out of wood, clearly imported and splintered. Yaz decided not to lean back.

Their meals arrived and were cold to Yaz's surprise and pleasure. For some reason, Belmoth had an obsession with lukewarm stew and soups, which weren't especially refreshing in the desert. Here they had been served cold meat with an intruiging burgundy puree and shredded febes, a leafy plant similar to cabbage. The food was reminiscent of some of the meals Yaz had eaten as a child. While traditional food was often spicy, that only applied to two meals of the day at most. They'd often eat a cold meal when the sun was high in the sky as her ancestors would have while travelling. Yaz smiled to herself.

The meal was rather awkward. Caitlyn wasn't especially fussed about talking to Yaz. Part of Yaz wished that Oburon could come out and they could talk. She'd never got to know the Gaspa quite as well as she would have liked, but they'd both recognised that they had the common ground to become close friends. Yet as uncomfortable as Yaz was with Caitlyn, she had to do this for Oburon.

The silence gave Yaz time to think. One thought she voiced, "When all of this is over, when we've won, what then? Are you just going to go back to fighting this war? Will you continue to make the weapons that slaughter so many good and innocent people?"

Caitlyn looked at her, surprised. Then she shook her head. "There's been enough pointless bloodshed. I know I don't have much power within my country, but I hope to try and get Surtren that patch of land. That is, if I'm not imprisoned for treason first."

Yaz felt her icyness towards Caitlyn melt a bit. It was true, she had a past that had cost many Surtrenans their lives. But at least she was willing to make a move towards peace, even if it cost her her freedom. Maybe Caitlyn wasn't as cold as she'd thought.

When the woman got up, Caitlyn handed Yaz some coins. "Enjoy the rest of your meal."

"No. I'm not letting you leave alone." Already, she had returned her cutlery onto her plate.

"I mean it. I don't think you'll... Enjoy what's to come."

"I'm coming." She rose up, holding the coins and smiling at the owner. He came and gave them the price and she paid him. "See?"

The response from Caitlyn was an incredibly forced smile. What unsettled Yaz more though, was she eased into the smile as if her mind had slotted Yaz into a plan. Then again, why was she upset about that? That had been what she had wanted, after all.

The two women wandered the streets, trailing the woman. Yaz wished to query why they hadn't announced their presence, but Caitlyn had slid a skinny finger over her lips to silence her. Yaz had a bad feeling about this.

Their target entered her house. Caitlyn listened for a moment, then charged in.

"Aren't you going to knock?"

The woman started, then reached for a broom but Caitlyn knocked it over before she could. She then revealed a sword Yaz hadn't even known she was carrying.

"Please don't hurt me, sir. Please." The woman had clasped her hands together, raising them to the sky as she wailed.

"Caitlyn, what are you doing?" screamed Yaz.

"What has to be done to save Oburon." She gripped the sword with a grim demeanour. Yaz wasn't sure whether she would genuinely go through with this, but she couldn't take any risks. She stormed towards Caitlyn, ready to knock her down. Caitlyn elbowed her in the chest, knocking her down. Yaz's vision unfocused. She wouldn't be able to stop Caitlyn in time.

"Please!" wailed the woman.

Silence. Had Caitlyn stabbed her? Was she dead? Could death have really passed over the room so silently? Yaz shuddered.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be," snapped Yaz. Only then did she realised.

"I am so sorry, ma'am, please tell me how I can make it up to you if that is in anyway possible," said Oburon, offering the woman a hand up.

"Demon!"

He sighed, then turned to Yaz.

"Oburon?"

"I'm sorry," he murmured with a sigh.

"What for?"

"Everything."

< | ■ | >

That night the dream landscape was a cross between Caitlyn and Oburon's home. Oburon felt a wave of guilt rush over him when he saw the red wallpapers.

"Welcome back."

Caitlyn was lounging on a chaise longue, her hair framing her pale and fragile face. There was the sort of glint in her eyes one only got from tears.

"Were you going to kill her? Because I really don't know."

Caitlyn ran two fingers across her forehead, then admitted, "Maybe, if I'd had to. But I knew there was a good chance you'd come. Especially when I didn't cave to Yaz."

"That person had a life."

"You had a life. You could still have a life. I couldn't let you throw it away like that."

"It was my choice."

"It was a stupid, selfless decision. If either of us has to die, it should be me. I'm the one who's ruined lives." Caitlyn raised her voice, tears slipping into her voice. She hesitated, then said, "I guess it won't be a problem anymore though."

"You can't just attempt murder everytime I'm letting myself die!"

"Try me."

"No." Oburon's gaze hardened.

Caitlyn smirked. "Then everything went according to plan."

"Let's just hope that it'll stay that way."

< | ■ | >

A/N: I have presented an offering to the gods. I wonder how many months you'll have to wait for the next chapter.

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